A Deep Dive Into 'Love Is Blind''s Tyler & Ashley's Kids Controversy
Love Is Blind season 7 has shaped up to be one of the franchise's most jaw-dropping seasons, and not because of anything that aired on Netflix. Instead, the latest season's most intriguing drama is what has unfolded on social media. Between Ramses and Marissa, Alex and Tim, and Hannah and Nick, there was controversy abound. And we peeped when the creator of the show responded to the controversy around the vetting process for contestants by saying, "We aren't the police." Netflix, this you?
From self-produced scenes to NDA-where? behavior, the season 7 cast has been all over social media, and probably not for the reasons they'd like. Two such cast members at the center of the social media discourse are Tyler Francis and his now-wife Ashley Adionsier.
For Love Is Blind fans, Tyler’s fixation on having kids throughout the season raised some eyebrows—but what he wasn’t saying turned out to be even more revealing. In an episode that aired on Oct. 2, Tyler dropped a major bombshell on Ashley outside the pods and after their engagement, confessing that he had fathered three children through a past sperm donation to a lesbian couple. What's the issue here? Well, in the pods, Tyler had previously told Ashley that he didn’t have any kids. Point blank.
This, plus other allegations about him spreading like wildfire while the season was airing, had social media giving the reality star some major side-eye.
"I'm not upset by you trying to help a couple have kids," Ashley says in the clip. "I think that's admirable in certain ways, but the issue comes in with me feeling like I was not getting the full picture of you. And once you're not given the full picture of something, it's hard to not question everything."
(L to R) Ashley Adionser, Tyler Francis in episode 709 of 'Love Is Blind'Courtesy of Netflix © 2024
She continued, "Me being a single woman before this, to come in this scenario, fall in love with a guy who has three sperm babies, sperm-donor babies is a lot to absorb. And the wedding is in like two weeks."
The revelation, paired with Ashley’s reaction—she referred to them as “sperm babies” in a clip now making the rounds on social media—left both Ashley and viewers shocked and questioning his honesty. They also wondered why he couldn't have just said that from the beginning versus waiting so close to their wedding day to make the big reveal and feared that he had blindsided Ashley by concealing "the truth" from her for so long.
Tyler Francis 'Love Is Blind' Kids Controversy, Explained.
Ahead of the season 7 reunion, the mother of the children, Brietta "Bri" Thomas, would break her silence on social media in a series of Instagram Reels detailing her side of the story "to attempt to protect them from a narrative that must end." In the now-deleted videos, which you can watch in full here, Bri describes Tyler as one of her best friends and the father of her "three beautiful children." She explains that Tyler was not supposed to act as a father figure to her son as that was understood to be a sperm donation dynamic for her and her now ex-wife.
During her separation from her ex-wife and while caring for her son as a newborn, Tyler was there for her as her best friend while she was going through an "extremely, extremely tough time in my life." Bri claims that Tyler reached out and asked if he could step up as a father to their son to which they had a deep conversation about what that would look like, and she later agreed. Since then, he has been both the bio dad and an active father to their son. Bri then clarifies that their twin girls were not at all in a situation like their son.
"The twins were simply unplanned. If that needs to be spelled out for some people [the twins] are the result of natural, unplanned intercourse with absolutely no complexities surrounding parentage. They were conceived before [their son] turned one. And I admit, fully admit, I have not always been the most comfortable with that truth due to the fact that I've lived the majority of my life as a lesbian. Nonetheless, it is exactly that: the truth."
For Bri, the issue wasn’t about jealousy—it was about Tyler abandoning his commitment to the children he helped bring into the world. After actively being in their lives for years, he suddenly distanced himself, only to mention them on a reality show in a dismissive way, reducing them to "sperm babies" to suit his own narrative. Bri was frustrated by his decision to frame their lives this way, despite the reality being much different. Hence, she decided to come forward with "the truth."
Social media called BS on Tyler's version of events then, and after Bri's statement, social media knew they'd clocked it.
In this deep dive, we’ll unpack the many ways social media has set the stage for what has turned out to be season 7's juiciest revelations, and thanks to Jessie Woo and TikTokers like StorytimewithRikkii, what Bri’s side of the story reveals about the truth of what happened behind the screen.
What Tyler Has Said About His Kids:
Tyler and Ashley would later appear in the season 7 reunion as a united front, with Ashley explaining that they felt the need to bring an off-camera discussion where she learned everything about his "sperm donation" on-camera as a way to be authentic, but that they also wanted to protect "those kids" by not going super in-depth about everything.
Tyler told host Vanessa Lachey, "Those kids, that family, they did not sign up for this. So what is happening now is I try to keep that from happening. Their birth certificates are online. Things that shouldn't be happening are now happening." Adding, "To get into the story, I did help a friend and her wife start a family, but her wife ended up leaving her and left her high and dry. This was my very close friend. So I stepped in, voluntarily stepped in and helped. So there are pictures of me around. You'll see me around."
He continued, "I've spent holidays with all my friends, you know, all their kids. And I played a part that became very shaky with a friend. And there's no rule books to this. There's no set lines to this. But I do wanna let people know Ashley knows all this. This is news to the world. This has never been news to us. And I'm giving this explanation now because I feel like the world is waiting for it. But I don't owe anyone an explanation but my wife. And if she's sitting here with me..."
(L to R) Ashley Adionser, Tyler Francis at the 'Love Is Blind' season 7 reunion
Courtesy of Netflix © 2024
What Ashley Has Said About Knowing About Tyler's Kids:
Ashley shared with hosts Vanessa and Nick Lachey that she had some things to say, "starting with... like, who do you think has better insight on what's going on, social media or me?" She would add that she felt it was "insulting to my intelligence" that viewers saw her as "blindsided" on the show by Tyler's confession and that she felt she needed to make the show an "authentic experience" by bringing an off-camera conversation he brought to her about the kids on-camera which is the scene the world saw.
"The very thing that we didn't want to happen happened," Ashley told Vanessa, referencing the online discourse and what we can assume is Bri's and Bri's mother's statements online. "And the thing with humanity is they have a hard time -- we have a hard time -- understanding anything that we don't get, anything that's taboo, anything that's out of our norm. And that's exactly what's happening. Instead of trying to rationalize, like maybe this was hard to navigate, right? And for me, I just know Tyler, in his heart, to know that it had to be hard to navigate with a friend. Way easier when you're removed.
"And with him growing up in a single-parent household, and in that scenario, when that happened with the divorce, it was very hard for him to remove himself and not be involved when this is now a single mom, right? So that was hard for him, and I just know that he is a good person who went in a little too deep and didn't know what to do."
What Ashley Said Recently on 'The Viall Files':
A week after the reunion episode aired, Nick Viall dropped a previously recorded episode of The Viall Files podcast featuring Ashley called "Going Deeper with Love Is Blind's Ashley" on Nov. 6. In the episode, Ashley doubled down on some things shared on the reunion, as well as anything she is trusting as truth from Tyler. Tyler was not there, but she and the hosts spoke a lot about Tyler's situation with the kids and Tyler's perspective, but most notably, why he's a "good guy" and not the deadbeat social media is trying to paint him as.
According to Ashley, Tyler let the kids call him "dad" and that they knew him as their "bio dad" but that it was a "mistake" on his behalf because it aided in blurring the lines of where they all actually stood. "And it’s very taboo and very odd to think about, but I don’t think there’s any rule book to how adoption, sperm donating, or egg donation should go. I do think that it was a mistake on his behalf to blur those lines so heavily because of the kids.
"Not even just the woman [Bri], but the kids. And I know she wanted him to mainly be a part [of the kids’ lives] for the boy. Main -- not even the girls -- you rarely ever see him with the girls here and there, it’s mainly the boy. And Tyler stepped up. He was like, 'Sure, I’ll be their dad.'"
Ashley said the situation was "awkward" for her to navigate and denied that the kids and Tyler were even that close since it was never a "daily, weekly, monthly basis" sort of relationship, just holidays. "He was never ever ever around on a daily basis, weekly basis, monthy basis." She shared with Nick Viall that Tyler wanted to back off long ago and alluded that he didn't because he wanted to keep Bri as a friend. "And so I think it’s hard for people to digest too because in a normal sperm donation situation, you can pick and choose your involvement, but most of the time you aren’t that involved unless it is like a sister or like a friend or whatever."
She would ultimately say that Tyler didn't feel like the three children and Bri were his family, and that was his breaking point. "He came to a point where he -- whenever she would get in a new relationship, you know with a new woman, she wants to have a family with a woman. And he would always be on the outside looking in. He has no rights, he can’t determine where they go to school, he can’t say anything. He can’t discipline. He can’t do anything.
"So to him, he’s like, ‘I pop up, and I’m an uncle and I play with them and I kiki. I wear these Dad t-shirts that your grandma-the grandma-her mom-is giving me, you know, and you know put on this face, but this is not my family. I’m on the outside looking in.’"
Ashley believes the world has it wrong and reiterates that Tyler is a good guy who just got caught up and that the issue between him and Bri is simply a difference in perspective. "And that’s why I tell people he was a good guy that got too deep and didn’t know what to do next. So when he finally decided to cut the situation off, of course, it’s awkward, and it hurts him as well to know about the kids, but he felt it was better to do it now than to wait any longer, and he’s like, ‘I want my own family. Like I want my own things.’ And she’s probably like, ‘Well damn, you were around, you know? Why this now?’
"They just have two different perspectives, I would say and I think that even Tyler’s friends and parents – and again, it’s kinda a little difficult for me to talk about this because I wasn’t there. I’m only going off of the things that I know, and things I’m trusting. And if anything ever comes out differently, I’ll do like a Reesa Teesa and give you guys the scoop," she told Nick.
Ashley also told the podcast hosts that Tyler had cut Bri and the kids off a year or more before going on the show.
Bri Breaks Down a Timeline of Events with Jessie Woo & Storytime w/ Rikki:
While Ashley and Tyler seem intent on upholding the narrative they've carefully crafted, media personality Jessie Woo and TikTok creator Storytime w/ Rikki, who goes by StorytimewithRikkii on the platform, gave Bri a safe space to speak her piece and respond to some of the things Ashley had detailed in her podcast appearance with Nick Viall.
There, she also provided a timeline of events, highlighting the facts and continues to emphasize her intention isn't to bash Tyler, it's merely to bring clarity to the fact that this is about him coming in and out of his children's lives and then trying to reduce them to certain terms as a means to distance himself from them. As a fan of the show Love Is Blind, she had no problem in the first batch of episodes where Tyler and Ashley spoke about kids. She said it was "hurtful" but she wasn't going to insert herself because her kids weren't mentioned specifically or her.
However, in the later episodes of the season, where the kids were referred to as "sperm babies," she felt compelled to come forward and make the truth clear, which is why she took to her IG to do so. "That’s a lie against me and my children specifically."
Bri doubled down on the fact that Tyler's proximity and responsibility towards their son was never supposed to be anything more than a sperm donor situation. At first, he was helping her and her now ex-wife out. That is the part of the story they both agree on. "He was not supposed to be a father to Cairo. I planned to have this child with a woman," she explained to Jessie and Rikki. Even after her ex-wife left her, she was prepared to be a single mom. "In my mind, I was going to now be a single mom to one child. Tyler reached out to me," she added.
Bri said that Tyler told her he didn't want their son to be raised by a single mom since he was raised by a single mom and didn't want that to be her situation. Bri continued, "If you are stepping up as his father, I would like help in regards to all of those things. And if you can’t do that, then that’s totally fine, like you don’t have to step up.’ He agreed. We both agreed. I said, ‘Let me think about it.’ It took me a couple of days... Ultimately, I agreed. ‘Yes, you are biologically his dad.’ To me at the time, this is admirable…" adding, "I never reached out and asked him for this, but I was grateful that he did want to step in."
Bri said that he had been acting as a father to their son from that moment on and that was back in 2017.
She also described how the twins came into the picture when Jessie asked if the twins were supposed to be a sperm donor situation. Bri confirmed that the twins weren’t planned. "I was never planning on having multiple kids with Tyler. We had sex, and I got pregnant. And there was never an agreement about parenting these children because I had sex and I got pregnant. You’re the dad, I’m the mom, we already have a son that we’re agreeing to and we were going to have three children." Tyler would even cut the cord and sign the birth certificate for the twins.
Shortly after, they transitioned into living together as they co-parent. While she was pregnant with the twins, they lived in the same apartment building, but she said Tyler would stay with her a lot because he was helping her with their son who was a newborn while she was pregnant with multiples, and they would also attend doctors' appointments together. At the time, they lived in the same building together, but he would stay with her a lot to help out during her pregnancy.
"As it got closer to the twins being born, we needed more space. We rented a house together to have a lot more space for these multiple children. And like I said in my other video, he stayed in the basement, I stayed in the main bedroom, we just lived in the house together to co-parent these three children together."
One of the hosts, Rikki, asked if they ever experienced a shift similar to the one they are in now as they were co-parenting and living together. Bri said that they stopped renting a house together in late 2019 because they were arguing a lot, but nothing as severe as this recent cut-off happened until 2021. "This time, it was about financials. And he stopped responding. Basically, cut me -- without telling me -- he just stopped responding. He cut me and the children off. This was March of 2021. We stopped living in this house together [in] late 2019 so he was still around after we moved out of this house for a good amount of time. But in late March 2021, he did cut ties with us and we didn’t hear from him until late March 2022."She went into further detail and explained it was over finances and his wanting to claim the kids on his taxes. Despite arguments and disagreements they sometimes had though, Bri says that they were always friends first and foremost. "That was my best friend. So he was around even though we had these disagreements often about how he could be doing more for the children. If I was going through stuff, I would reach out to Tyler. If he was going through stuff, we’re talking about it. We were friends."
Bri also shared that she saw him the day before he left to film Love Is Blind. She and Tyler had talked about her and the kids going to the wedding. She offered to take him to the airport, wished him good luck, and told him to make a genuine effort in finding true connection on the show. He didn’t think it would work, but as a friend who was “100% supportive,” she encouraged him to give it a real try.
In the back of her mind, she had a thought about him cutting them off again, potentially since he had done it before in March 2021. He reassured her and promised he would never do that to them again. "'Bri, I love you. I love these children. I would never do that to y’all again.' And I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe he would never do this again because if I thought he would do this again, I would [have] never allowed him back in my children’s lives."
Throughout the conversation with Jessie and Rikki, Bri provided proof in the form of texts and screenshots, and the receipts were receipt-ing. In them, Tyler went from texting her pretty regularly about what he was experiencing while filming, but eventually, a lull started to happen in their communication again, and Bri began to understand what was happening again.
Regardless of what Tyler and Ashley might claim, we won't get too deeply into what this looks like, but children aren’t just a "gray area" that disappears when you find your real family on TV. Bri made it clear she wasn’t about to let Tyler pull the disappearing act with their kids' lives whenever it suited him, which led her to take the legal route and the $30K he's now expected to pay in back child support.
So while the receipts have definitely been receipt-ing, this situation serves as a crucial reminder: fathers should take accountability for the homes they help create, regardless of how the family came together.
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Featured image courtesy of Netflix
Your Guide To Letting Go Of What No Longer Serves You Based On Astrology
Letting go is a gift we are given and a strength that we find throughout our lives. There are times when we want to grab ahold of what we are experiencing and sensing, and times when we need to let go of something that was once everything to us or what we wanted for ourselves. The moment you conclude that you need to let something go in your life is the moment that your brain fights to make that happen for you.
In Astrology, there is an area of your birth chart that is designed for you to understand where you will be letting go a lot in this lifetime, and exactly how to do so. We dive through the birth chart as we seek a deeper understanding of ourselves and let go of what no longer serves us, and there are tools available to help us do so. If you don't know where your South Node is in your birth chart, you can use a free calculator like this one here.
What Does Your South Node Represent in Astrology?
When it comes to what we are destined to let go of or move away from in this lifetime, we look to the South Node. The South Node is the area of your birth chart that has to do with your past lives, karma, lessons, old habits and traits, gifts, and energy you are moving away from in this lifetime.
Your South Node is opposite your North Node, which is your destiny and the energy you want to move towards.
We can learn a lot from our South Node and it’s an area of our life where we tend to gain the most wisdom. By understanding why some patterns in your life tend to play out in the same ways, you can be more conscious of the choices you make in the now and let go of who and what doesn’t serve you in the process.
South Node Insights: Letting Go
The South Node is our natural gifts and talents, but also where we don’t need to focus so much of our energy on, taking us away from where we need to be developing, which is the North Node. So when you are looking to let go of something, gain a new perspective, or feel more trusting in what you are doing right now, you can examine your South Node.
We learn from our South Node by not making the same mistakes over again, letting go of what needs to be let go of, and understanding what we need in order to create space for our new beginning.
Read below for your South Node on how to let go of what no longer serves you.
Aries South Node: Letting Go of Independence for Connection
You are used to being independent and figuring things out on your own. In this lifetime, however, you are being asked to lean on others for support when you need it. You are working on letting go of the ego and focusing more on the heart. By extending your compassion for others, you discover a part of yourself that leads you toward empowerment and allows you to let go of a false sense of safety.
You are meant to experience harmonious, fortunate, and compatible love in this lifetime, and you will do so by opening your heart to others and letting go of people who don’t support you or whom you can’t count on.
Taurus South Node: Releasing Overdependence and Superficiality
With your South Node in Taurus, you are letting go of the need to acquire by focusing on the depth and intention of what you are obtaining. Your relationships tend to have a lot to do with your financial world, and these things can get twisted and distorted if you are not being careful.
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of what doesn’t serve you by following your heart and your intuition more and focusing more on the feeling you want for yourself rather than the things themselves. You are also working on letting go of overdependence or superficiality in relationships, by connecting with the people whom you have a deep and spiritual bond with.
Gemini South Node: Finding Freedom in Authenticity
For you, letting go means following your freedom. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime, and the less you can focus on how you are going to be perceived, the more you can live the life of your dreams. With a South Node in Gemini, you are moving away from the commotion of life. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is traveling, getting out of your comfort zone, and being in new environments.
In past lives, you may have given too much of your focus on your social successes and business pursuits, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on the bigger picture. What helps you let go is understanding that once you do, better is available to you.
Cancer South Node: Trusting Yourself Beyond Emotional Impulses
With a South Node in Cancer, you are learning to trust yourself and your logic more than your emotional world in this lifetime. By letting go of feeling like you have to be the one to nurture and support everyone and allowing people to do that for you, you lead your destiny.
With your South Node in Cancer, you are letting go of emotional impulsiveness or making decisions irrationally before you have thought about them.
In past lives, you were led by your emotional world, and in this lifetime, you are meant to think more about your long-term goals and intentions. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is knowing that you are more than what you can give to others.
Leo South Node: Prioritizing Community Over Recognition
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of the need to be seen and recognized and focus more on your need for community and soul companionship. You are moving away from the “I” and moving closer to the “We.” What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is giving your focus to humanity, the progress you want to make in this lifetime, and who you want to make it with.
You are learning how to work with others and let go of the need to figure everything out yourself. The more you connect with the people who make you want to team up and form a relationship, rather than the people who make you want to be alone, the better for you.
Virgo South Node: Embracing Compassion Over Perfection
In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to do everything yourself and to have everything all together. You can let go of what no longer serves you by thinking more with your heart than you do with your mind and by trusting this gift of yours. By focusing more on your spirituality, emotional connections, and creativity, you let go of a timid side of you that can disrupt your relationships or the bonds you make.
In past lifetimes, you were focused on perfection. In this lifetime, you are meant to focus on compassion. By surrendering more to the flow of things, you can let go of what no longer serves you while remaining open for what does.
Libra South Node: Rediscovering Your Independence
With your South Node in Libra, you are meant to experience the gifts of independence, freedom, and inner clarity in this lifetime. In the past, you may have been more dependent on the people around you and made a lot of your focus on love. However, in this lifetime, you are being reminded to not lose your identity in others. You can let go of what no longer serves you by only moving towards the things that feel authentic to you.
You are meant to feel confident, inspired, and free in your relationships, and if you don’t feel this way, then that is a sign you are around energy that doesn’t serve you. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime.
Scorpio South Node: Letting Go of Struggles and Embracing Ease
With your South Node in Scorpio, you have lived many lives and have experienced a lot emotionally. In this lifetime, you are learning how to trust the process more and to understand that not everything has to be difficult or trying for you. You can experience great things with ease, and you’ll know you are in the right place when things are just falling into your lap.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is focusing more on the things and people who make you feel safe, stable, and comfortable. Instead of always seeking the rush or the thrill, bring your attention more towards the things that ground you.
Sagittarius South Node: Building Connection Through Learning
Your South Node in Sagittarius urges you towards connection with your community and your immediate environment. In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to be everywhere at once, rather than with the people who matter most to you. You are moving away from knowing everything and into learning everything.
By looking at life as a place where you will learn, grow, and connect, you can let go of the things that stretch you too thin or don’t serve your heart.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is expressing yourself more, meeting new people, and spending time on a cause or creative project that inspires you.
Capricorn South Node: Choosing Home and Foundations Over Status
In this lifetime, you are meant to put more value and effort into your personal life, home, family, and foundations in life. In past lifetimes, a lot of your focus was on your reputation, achievements, and successes, and in this lifetime, you are meant to bring your energy more to the home base, family, and stability in life.
You will know if something is right for you if you want it because it makes you feel safe and nurtured, rather than just something that looks pleasing to the eye. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is by focusing more on your personal life rather than your public, and what you truly see for yourself here.
Aquarius South Node: Shining in Your Individuality
With an Aquarius South Node, you are meant to shine, be seen, and express yourself in this lifetime. You are letting go of the lone wolf energy you are used to, and working on taking up space. You are able to let go of what no longer serves you by being confident in yourself and the decisions you are making.
If someone doesn’t make you feel like the best thing in the entire world, then they aren’t right for you. In past lifetimes, you gave a lot of your energy to your community and the people around you, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on yourself and your path more. It’s all about doing what makes you feel good and trusting that you deserve to.
Pisces South Node: Honoring Logic While Embracing Intuition
Your lesson in this lifetime is that your mind is your gift. In past lives, you were very intuitive, psychic, and spiritual, and in this lifetime, you are learning to trust and honor the logical part of yourself more. You may tend to put your all into your relationships and not get the same energy back, and you are working on taking care of yourself first before you can give to another.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is trusting your body and the signals it gives you when you are around certain people or energy that doesn’t serve. Get organized, figure out your needs, boundaries, and wants, and get clear on who you are and what you want for yourself.
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There is a running joke (that I’m actually quite serious about) that I find myself saying to married couples often: “Shoot, with all that comes with being married, y’all deserve to have as many orgasms as you possibly can.” And as someone who has been working with husbands and wives for over 20 years now, I make it my personal mission to provide all of the information that I can to ensure that achieving the peak of satisfactory sex happens — whether they’ve been together for two years, 10 years or 40 years.
And today? Today, I’m going to share something that, if you are married, you can do to improve your sex life that is actually super easy and hella effective. It just requires moving into a different space. Yes, literally.
Read on, and I’ll explain more.
Get Out of the Bed, Y’all. It’s Time.
GiphyThere’s no telling how many times I’ve said over the years that I agree with interior designers when they say that the purpose of the bedroom is sex and sleep — no more, no less. And that alone makes it pretty obvious why the “default location” for copulation is a bed. It’s private. It’s comfortable. Plus, it’s such an ideal location for foreplay, intercourse, and afterplay (which typically consists of quite a bit of cuddling), too. And since beds/bedrooms are so ideal for sexual activity, it’s very easy to take the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach and just stay in that space most, if not all, of the time.
The challenge with that is, if you’re not careful, boredom can creep into your bedroom — and since I think we all can agree that a satisfying sex life is an essential part of any healthy relationship, boredom isn’t something that you should just shrug off, especially since one study revealed that about a third of Americans are currently not very thrilled by what’s happening up in their bedrooms these days.
Not only that, but I once read an article that said sexual boredom is why there is an uptick in masturbation, lower sex drives, an increase in cheating, more relational conflict, and a ho-hum take on relationships overall.
Now, are there seasons when sex is going to seem less exciting than others? 1000 percent (check out “The 'Seasons Of Sex' That Married People Go Through”). And so, if you’re reading this and you happen to be someone who plans on getting married someday, that is something that you should absolutely keep in mind. However, to the married folks, those seasons can happen less (or you can get through them faster) if you’re more intentional about doing things that can keep your sex life fresh and stimulating.
And one of those things includes…GETTING OUT OF THE DAMN BED.
5 Benefits of Having Sex Outside the Bedroom
GiphyOkay, so what are some of the benefits that come with making this minor coitus-related tweak?
1. Getting out of the bed is spontaneous. While reading an article that featured a survey of 500 Americans and 500 Europeans on their favorite place to have sex, the top rank was in public. I’m pretty sure that’s because it’s risqué, it’s random and the spontaneity of it all can be stimulating as all get out. Look, even if you’re not down for having sex in a restaurant or club bathroom, technically your backyard is still considered to be “public.” Pitch a tent and try it there. If you wait until nightfall, the fresh air and stars alone might get your adrenaline going…in ways you never expected.
2. Getting out of the bed is fun. It’s hard to be bored when you’re having fun and when you’re exploring something different with your partner, that can open the door to discuss new things, to laugh about new experiences, and to enjoy the trial and error of experimentation. Plus, laughter has been proven to release endorphins (feel-good hormones), which can make having orgasms easier. Besides, it’s kind of hard to not laugh, at least a little bit, when you’re in the midst of having a really good time — sex should also be considered a really good time.
3. Getting out of the bed can introduce you to new approaches to intimacy. Say that your man suggests going down on you on the countertop in the kitchen one day, out of the blue. I don’t mean during the midnight hour, either. I mean, when the sun is still out, and the curtains are slightly drawn. If normally, you’re down for some oral, yet you prefer to engage in pitch blackness while lying back on your mattress, being on the counter could “hit angles” that you didn’t know existed while being in the light could boost your sexual confidence in ways that you didn’t quite predict.
4. Getting out of the bed can teach you something else/different about your partner (and yourself). One of my clients once told me that when her husband recommended having sex in a Starbucks bathroom (one of the cleaner bathrooms, I’ve heard), she said that it caught her so off guard that they ended up having a long conversation about sexual fantasies. As a result, they decided to come up with sex-themed bucket lists every six months that consist of new things that they want to try. She said that it’s been one of the wisest moves that they’ve ever made. You can learn more about how to make your own by checking out, “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List.’”
5. Getting out of the bed can make your bedroom feel “new” again. You know what they say — absence makes the heart grow fonder, and if you aren’t always having sex in that bedroom of yours, that can actually make you “miss” it sometimes, especially if you decide to do some redecorating (as far as bedding and candles, etc. go) a couple of times a year.
As you can see, doing something as simple as having sex somewhere other than your bedroom can create a whole new world, quite literally, as far as your sex life is concerned.
One of the Best Places to Have Sex
What if I’ve got you convinced to get out of your bed, and, yet, you’re not quite ready to do anything that’s considered to be “too crazy” just yet? No problem. All you’ve got to do is head towards the place where apparently most people use as a safe out-of-the-bedroom go-to: their living room couch.
In fact, couches are apparently so “sex popular” that a few years back, GQ published a piece entitled, “Couch Sex Is the Best Sex.” Why? Couches are comfortable. Couches are different from a bed.
Also, the sex position possibilities that come with the help of a couch are pretty endless. Not only that, but when I asked some of my clients how they felt about having sex on their own couches, several told me that the 69 (oral) sex position is on a whole ‘nother level, thanks to the armrests on their couch (you’re welcome — LOL). So, if you’re wanting to “ease out” of the bedroom, sex-wise, try your couch. For starters.
15 Other Places to Have Sex (If You Haven’t Already)
GiphyNow that I’ve hopefully at least got you to consider getting out of the bedroom (period or far more often), let me share a quick list of places to try — in case you need a bit more inspiration:
1. The laundry room — with the cycle running, it’s like a huge vibrator.
2. The dining room — afteran aphrodisiac-filled romantic dinner. You’ll probably already havesome sex condiments within your arms’ reach.
3. In the shower. Before you hate, read this first: “So, This Is How To Make Shower Sex So Much Better.”
4. Against a wall — any wall. Have you noticed that some of the hottest sex scenes in movies are filmed up against a wall? It’s great for oral sex as well as intercourse.
5. In one of your closets. It’s in a close proximity, and you can hold on to racks that hold your hangers. Plus, it’s pitch black in there if dark is your thing…even in the daytime.
6. On throw pillows on the floor. Over the holidays, I watched a video of Nick Cannon with his firstborn twins at his house. One of his rooms is a theater room that’s filled with nothing but throw pillows. Personally, I’m a big throw pillow fan because they are cozy, comfy, and a great option for sitting on the floor. “Floor sex” conveys “gotta have you now” and the more lust that’s in the air, chances are, the better the sex will be.
7. In a rocking chair. Someone was recently telling me how amazing sex is in a tantra chair. When I looked one up, it reminded me of a chaise lounge. Anyway, that did get me thinking about how chairs can make for deeper penetration and super close face-to-face intimacy. If you step it up and get in a rocking chair, you can control the speed of the intercourse in a cool way. Try it and report back.
8. In a sleeping bag on your deck. Cuddling with your hubby is already going to get your oxytocin levels up. It would be a shame to let them go to waste, so strip naked from the waist down and engage in spoon sex. No one has to know (which is a part of the thrill!).
9. In an office. His or yours. I mean, even if it’s a home office, it qualifies.
10. Via a trampoline. I mean, you might’ve bought one for the kids. However, after you read Elite Daily’s “4 Sex Moves To Try On A Trampoline & Take Getting Frisky To New Heights,” you might wanna get one for yourself. #wink
11. On a truck bed. Down a country road. It’s rustic, raw and romantic. If you don’t have a truck, borrow or rent one. It’ll be worth it.
12. On a road trip. Rent an SUV that has tinted windows. While heading to wherever you’re going, stop and have sex in random spots along the way. This is where quickies can come in hella handy.
13. On the hood of your car. I mean, it can always be in the garage…if you’d prefer.
14. Airport parking lots — in the cheap section. Hey, if public sex is your thing, you can try those same tinted windows that I just mentioned in the airport lot sections that are super far from the airport because they are cheap. If you go up in there after midnight, barely anyone is around. Just sayin’.
15. While on a sexcation. Pretty sure it’s time for one of those, anyway (check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!”).
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It’s actually a husband who once told me that it’s hard to get bored with your partner, so long as you both really desire each other and mutually want to keep your sex life strong. Changing locations can help with this, so use this year as the year to give it a shot. You might be surprised by how a simple shift can make sex the very kind that you’ve been longing for (lately)!
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Featured image by Giphy