As I stood in a spread-eagle stance with a female TSA agent using the back of her hand to check my crotch for weapons, I thought to myself, What the hell? Even though I know she meant no harm and was only doing her job, my personal space felt violated. Since I had experienced this so many times in the past, I guess I never thought twice about it. Until now.
As I exited the giant body scanner, I almost anticipated the green blotch on the screen that indicated that I may be carrying explosives in my hair (and/or crotch) and prepared myself to be touched in all of my private spaces in a room full of people.
Until last week, I had never really realized that every time (and I mean every damn time) I go through airport security, my hair seems to set off a number of alarms.
According to this article from Mother Jones, the number of people who complained about racial discrimination went up from 78 in 2017, to 105 in 2018 and based on my own experiences at the airport, this isn't hard to believe.
Although I'm grateful and appreciative of the men and women who protect us from terrorism and danger every day, I have a personal message for members of the Transport Security Administration: Please, stop touching my hair. After standing in line, taking off my shoes, and emptying my laptop bag, the last thing I want is a stranger with latex gloves to (not so tenderly) stroke my tresses. Again, I get it. These officers are only doing their jobs, jobs that have saved us from ever experiencing another 9/11. But can't a sister speculate?
The TSA is reportedly one of the most diverse agencies in the federal government, so why is it such a hassle for those with natural hairstyles to go through security at the airport? Although TSA officers may not be intentionally prejudiced against people of color, ProPublica recently reported that the high-tech body machines that take three-second full body mugshots before we can head to our terminal may be part of the problem.
One TSA agent from Texas told Mother Jones:
"With black females, the scanner alarms more because they have thicker hair; many times they have braids or dreadlocks. Maybe, down the line, they will be redesigning the technology, so it can tell apart what's a real threat and what is not. But, for now, we officers have to do what the machine can't."
While public safety is far more important that enduring a two-minute pat down, it's just downright annoying that the density of my hair can trigger certain alarms. Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I would hope that in 2019, our airport security technology would be a little bit more advanced, don't you think? In a statement released by ProPublica, TSA explained that they are now looking into additional ways to screen hair that are more socially and culturally appropriate, and it's about damn time. To be fair, TSA mentions on their website that wearing extensions or a hairpiece can automatically trigger the body scanner:
"Hair accessories such as bobby pins, metal clips, ties, wraps, and even bows may cause an alarm. This may also include clip-on extensions, wigs, toppers, and certain hairstyles such as braids or a hair bun. To avoid any potential delays, it's best to keep it simple while going through security. You can always style your hair to your liking after you've gone through screening and right before you board your flight."
In other words, to avoid additional screening, pack that ponytail in your carry-on and whip that bad boy out after you get through TSA. Otherwise, prepare for a pat down.
Although this is a problem that needs to be dealt with ASAP, body scanner discrimination will not stop me from getting flewed out. TSA agents have a job to do, so my beef is not with you. Thank you for your service, fam. But until they make some much-needed updates to these machines, it's my hope that the TSA finds a new way to keep us safe while staying out of my personal space, please... And thank you.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak