True Life: I Love Him...But The Sex Is So Bad
What do you do when your relationship is amazing but there is no sexual chemistry?
You test-drove the car with your feelings already invested, but you hate the way it rides. Could you continue to love your man, spend a lifetime with him and your awkward sexual encounters, or do you walk away from the best man you have ever dated for the sake of an orgasm?
The idea that sex is this carnivore act, where flames ignite from within and fireworks explode in the background. That sexy explosion of passion and lust gets lost in trying to explore erotic sexual positions that we just never can get right. Although there is an insatiable hunger for sex and a whirlwind of lust happening in my panties, I find myself very sexually unsatisfied.
All other aspects of my relationship are perfect; the man is simply amazing. He is the calm before the storm, the light at the end of the tunnel, the proof that after kissing many frogs you can find your prince. He is slightly romantic in an adorable kind of way, and the perfect gentleman. This man is the ultimate provider and loves me completely. Sometimes I find myself praying to God to never take him away from me because I have never experienced this kind of love. Although this relationship is still a newborn baby that needs more foundation and nourishment, I can see myself marrying this man.
Yes ladies, I am in a perfect relationship from the outside in. But lets be honest, nothing is without flaw. This topic is too sensitive to confide in friends and family so I find myself asking the world wide web, what do you do when your sex life is boring?
[Tweet "What do you do when your sex life is boring?"]
I wonder if it is me, or maybe it is us and we are just not sexually compatible. There is also the fact that he is not the most, well endowed. But again no one is perfect and he has shown that he loves me flaws and all, so I do my best to reciprocate the unconditional love. There have been many Google searches and plenty of practice and sometimes we figure it out and have decent sex. I often wonder if this man asked me to marry him today could I live with our sex for the rest of my life? I am not ready to give it up but I am desperately afraid that our lackluster sex will be the demise of my most incredible relationship ever. We both try very hard to please each other and I appreciate his efforts. We adore one another and I am so very thankful.
So I guess my question is, what should I do?
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage