10 Black Friday/ Cyber Monday Travel Deals In 'Safe' Locations For Black Travelers
If you're looking for 2025 travel deals that will give you unforgettable experiences at some of the most sought-after destinations, this article is for you. Not only are these destinations full of relaxation and adventure, but it is also known to be safe for Black and brown travelers. Below is a curated list of 10 safe travel spots that are having Black Friday/ Cyber Monday deals.
Puerto Rico
Hyatt Regency Grand Reserve Puerto Rico
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Ease of entry and accessibility - no passport required + more than 20 airports offering daily, nonstop flights from most major US airports
- Diversity in people and landscapes - best explored through ‘both sides’ of the island… the city (San Juan) and then the forest (Rio Grande/El Yunque) for amazing natural adventures
- Huge Black expat community
Conveniently located just minutes from Historic Old San Juan and a short 10-minute drive from the airport, Caribe Hilton offers a tropical escape at the heart of it all. Known for its rich history and celebrated as the birthplace of the piña colada, Caribe Hilton has been serving up hospitality excellence for 75 years. The oceanfront property’s world-class service is surpassed only by its incredible amenities, such as a secluded stretch of white sand beach, multiple pools and restaurants, a full-service spa, and an abundance of activities catering to families, friend groups, and wellness seekers alike.
The Deal: Kicking off on Cyber Monday, Caribe Hilton will be offering a Cyber Week promotion from Dec. 2-8, 2024. Travelers can save up to 25% on all room types for trips booked between January 2- June 30, 2025.
Hyatt Regency Grand Reserve Puerto Rico | Rio Grande, Puerto Rico Located on a protected natural peninsula at the foothills of the El Yunque rainforest, Hyatt Regency Grand Reserve Puerto Rico offers guests an authentic taste of Puerto Rico from the comfort of a sprawling luxurious resort secluded along miles of coral reef-protected beaches, through unique amenities and unforgettable experiences like its 100% Puerto Rican resort-branded craft beer, its complimentary Pan Sobao door-to-door breakfast, twinkle light rainforest picnics and PRadise pool-side popsicles. The property is also home to several oceanfront swimming pools (which include Puerto Rico’s largest lagoon-style pool), a full-service spa, a 27-hole championship golf course, over 17 food and beverage outlets ranging from a prime steakhouse to classic Puerto Rican cuisine, a Top Golf Swing Suite, and more.
The Deal: World of HyattMembers can save up to 25% on their stay at Hyatt Regency Grand Reserve Puerto Rico when they shop this Black Friday! The offer will be available from November 19-December 9 and is eligible on stays between November 19 and April 20, 2025.
Curaçao
BijBlauw Curaçao
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Local culture is super diverse - a melting pot with over 65 nationalities, most people speak four languages (English, Spanish, Dutch, Papiamento - the local language). Lots of influence from Colombia and South America, plus of course, the indigenous and Caribbean population. Roughly 85% of the population is of African descent.
- LGBTQIA+ friendly
Curacao Marriott Beach Resort I Curaçao
Nestled among six acres of pristine beachfront near Willemstad, the island’s pastel-clad downtown, Curaçao Marriott Beach Resort offers warm, dedicated hospitality for which the Caribbean is known. The ideal backdrop for your dream vacation in Curaçao, the tropical hotel oasis is a cultured paradise that creates magical memories to last a lifetime.
The Deal: From November 26 to December 3, 2024, for stays between December 1, 2024, and January 20, 2025, travelers can expect discounts of up to 25% off. The promotion begins at 15% off, increases to 20% off for Bonvoy members, and up to 25% for Bonvoy members who book through the Bonvoy app.
BijBlauw I Curaçao
Perched just outside of Curaçao’s bustling Pietermaai district sits BijBlauw, a charming boutique hotel overlooking the glittering waters of the Caribbean Sea. After a day of adventure, relaxation, or fun in the sun on the island, BijBlauw offers travelers an elevated boho-chic haven.
The Deal: Potential bookers receive a 20% discount, with a booking window from Thanksgiving through Cyber Monday. The travel window extends from Thanksgiving until May 28, 2025. A few important details to note: the discount is non-refundable, cannot be combined with other offers or discounts (including Friends of BijBlauw), and the code to use is autumnatBijBlauw. No dates are excluded.
Costa Rica
Hotel Three Sixty
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Super safe and low crime rate, plus fast-growing Black expat community
Hotel Three Sixty | Ojochal, Costa Rica
A member of Small Luxury Hotels, Hotel Three Sixty promises an intimate, adults-only escape tucked away in the unspoiled treetops of Southern Costa Rica. The property is made up of 12 luxurious villas, complemented by an infinity pool overlooking the Pacific Ocean, the open-air Kua Kua restaurant with panoramic views, a Jungle Spa with locally inspired treatments, and a secluded rainforest yoga deck. Here, your only neighbors are the scarlet macaws, toucans, and monkeys swinging by to say hello.
The Deal: 25% off accommodations plus a $100 food and beverage credit to enjoy the new menu at Kua Kua restaurant. This deal is valid to book November 25, 2024, to December 3, 2024, for stays between November 25, 2024 - November 30, 2025; blackout dates are December 22, 2024-January 2, 2025. Discounts cannot be combined with any other offer. To book, visit https://www.hotelthreesixty.com/offers.
Mexico - (Cancun & Los Cabos)
Corazón Cabo Resort & Spa Los Cabos
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Cancun / JW Marriott Cancun Resort & Spa
WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Mexico is one of the travel ‘big dogs’ with millions of visitors each year. They are well developed and used to catering to travelers from all over the world with various backgrounds
- Out of all of the places in Mexico - Cancun, Tulum, and the Riviera are some of the safest and the most diverse. You can stay safely in a resort, but take day trips to Tulum and the natural wonders.
JW Marriott Cancun Resort & Spa | Cancun, Mexico
Situated in the heart of Cancun’s vibrant hotel zone and just minutes from the area’s hottest attractions, the luxurious JW Marriott Cancun Resort & Spa offers a rejuvenating escape to any traveler. With oceanfront rooms, restorative Mayan-inspired spa treatments, luxurious dining options, and an extensive 150 margaritas menu, the resort is the perfect place to relax after an adventurous day exploring Cancun’s jungles or turquoise blue waters.
The Deal: Marriott Bonvoy Members get 25% off stays booked through their app, or 20% off stays booked directly. Non-members receive 15% off their stays. The booking window is November 26 - December 3, 2024, for stays December 1, 2024 - January 20, 2025.
Los Cabos / Corazón Cabo Resort & Spa
WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Also one of the safest zones in Mexico and super well developed in terms of accommodations, transportation, attractions, etc.
- You can find real reviews from Black travelers here
Corazón Cabo Resort & Spa| Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
Nestled near Cabo’s famous Marina along the area’s best swimmable beach, the chic and luxuriousCorazón Cabo Resort & Spa treats travelers to an opulent beachfront getaway in the heart of Cabo San Lucas. From expansive bedrooms with balconies and private hot tubs to Cabo’s highest and most lavish rooftop bar with 360-degree views, a private beach club, and three infinity pools overlooking the famous Cabo Arch, Corazón Cabo is the picture of modern luxury. Corazón also boasts a world-class on-site spa, Sparitual, offering chakra balancing treatments and more, as well as fun activities like beachfront yoga classes and guided tequila/mezcal tastings.
The Deal: From November 18- December 3, guests can save up to 30% off room rates, enjoy a $50 daily food and beverage credit, and take 30% off select spa treatments at Sparitual for stays booked from November 18, 2024 - April 30, 2025. Additionally, guests can spread the gift card love with a special promotion where the resort is giving back 10% of the total gift card amount in a resort credit, valid from November 1, 2024 - January 10, 2025.
Iceland
Hotel Rangá Iceland
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- One of the safest countries in the world with some of the most welcoming people (ranked as the safest, most peaceful country on the 2022 Global Peace Index). Even though it is a mainly white country, they are very tolerant and also have opened up all their borders to tourism. They understand the positive impact tourists have on their destination, and they embrace it.
- This is a great article providing a direct perspective from Franny the Traveler:
- Some great stats here.
Hotel Rangá | Hella, Iceland
Known as the land of fire and ice, Iceland is home to otherworldly landscapes, the Northern Lights, and adventure galore.Set in the secluded and spectacular countryside of the South Coast lies Hotel Rangá, a luxe little lodge with lots of personality. Situated under clear dark skies, Hotel Rangá is also the best place to see the famous Aurora Borealis (complete with wake-up calls) or enjoy a stellar star gazing session alongside a resident astronomer at the hotel's own hi-tech, roll-off roof observatory.
The Deal: From November 29-December 5, guests can save up to 30% off room rates on stays booked from December 1, 2024 - May 31, 2025 (excluding blackout dates between December 23, 2024 - January 3, 2025). Offer valid for a two-night minimum stay. To book, visit hotelranga.is.
Aruba
Aruba Marriott Resort and Stellaris Casino
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- “One Happy Island” is their tagline, and this is reflected in their warm and welcoming locals - who are all super diverse as well as expats
- There’s an area called San Nicolas that is known as ‘Black-owned’ Aruba
Aruba Marriott Resort and Stellaris Casino | Palm Beach, Aruba
Aruba Marriott Resort and Stellaris Casino is a luxurious getaway for travelers of varied interests and any occasion, from family trips to romantic escapes and even corporate retreats. The 414-room resort features ocean-facing guest rooms, all with their own 100-square-foot balconies, overlooking several different breathtaking views of the property and the Palm Beach oceanfront. Additional amenities include 10 dining venues, two pools from a vibrant family-friendly option to an adults-only H2Oasis pool, the largest spa and casino on the island, a two-story fitness center, non-motorized watersports, and more.
The Deal: Guests receive a $100 resort credit and a varying discount on accommodations, up to 25%, for stays four nights or longer from March 1 - July 31, 2025. Book using code E4000 (or code M96 for Bonvoy members) at www.arubamarriott.com from November 27 - December 6, 2024.
Napa Valley, CA
The Meritage Resort and Spa Napa Valley, CA
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Black travelers make up only 2.7% of annual visitors. However, Napa Valley is a great place for girls trips, romantic getaways and more
- There are a lot of misconceptions about how expensive it is, but there are ways to visit wine country and not break the bank
- There’s also a few Black-owned wineries and tasting rooms like Vin En Noir, and there is also a Napa Wine Train which is perfect for girl’s getaways
The Meritage Resort and Spa | Napa Valley, CA
Set on 36 golden acres with nine acres of active working vineyards, The Meritage Resort and Spa is your one-stop shop for the Napa Valley experience – now boasting a stunning $25 million new look that it just unveiled this summer. From its four onsite tasting rooms to acclaimed fine dining, vineyard-facing pools, its iconic Spa Terra ( a naturally formed Estate Cave located 40 ft under its working vines), and vintner hiking trails, The Meritage is a gateway to the best of California Wine Country. Even going above and beyond with additional amenities and experiences like an onsite six-lane bowling alley, a champagne tasting room, a summer concert series, vineyard picnics, a farm-to-table garden, a curated local artisan market, and more.
The Deal: Save 30% on your Napa Valley visit in addition to a $30 daily resort credit at the newly reimagined Meritage Resort and Spa when you stay two-plus nights, anytime between November 2024 and March 2025 (blackout dates apply). This offer is bookable from November 18-December 4, 2024. Any bookings made during the early access period will receive double perks for Meritage CollectionStay Golden rewards members, which will also include two complimentary welcome cocktails and two spa enhancements.
The Bahamas
British Colonial Nassau
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- The Bahamas is listed as a top-rated destination for Black travelers. Travel technology company Expedia and Black travel review website Green Book Global are preparing to launch a Green Book Global Black Travel Review Month (BTRM) initiative that allows Black travelers to rate destinations that they enjoy, and the Bahamas is in the top five.
Resorts World Bimini | Bimini, The Bahamas
Island charm meets luxury at Resorts World Bimini—an expansive oceanfront complex just 50 miles off the coast of South Florida that encompasses a chic Hilton hotel, world-class casino, marina, and a private beach and lounge reminiscent of the beach clubs found in Tulum. Guests will be surrounded by unparalleled views of the bright blue Caribbean Sea, which are best enjoyed with a cocktail in hand around one of two hotel pools: the ground-floor lagoon pool or the rooftop infinity pool, both of which serve up local bites and specialty cocktails at their poolside bars. And for an elevated afternoon, lounge at Resorts World Bimini Beach—a 4.5-acre private beach and lounge features two stunning lagoon pools, day beds shaded by palapas, private oceanfront cabanas, bohemian-inspired decor, local bites, all-day live entertainment, and picturesque views.
The Deal: Answer the call of paradise when you book the exclusive “BOGO in Paradise” package for your next trip to Bimini, where buying one night gets you a second free, or buying two gets a third. Starting at $249 per person, the package includes round-trip ferry transportation on Baleari Caribbean from Fort Lauderdale, FL, a stay at the Hilton at Resorts World Bimini, access to Bimini Beach, and live entertainment. Visit https://rwbimini.com/event/bogo-in-paradise/ to book; offer valid for stay dates through May 22, 2025.
British Colonial Nassau | Nassau, Bahamas
British Colonial Nassau is a Bahamian gem that recently underwent a massive $50 million transformation. Visitors can immerse themselves in downtown Nassau and enjoy hotel amenities like the 300 ft private white-sand beach, seven dining outlets from a signature martini bar with live jazz on the weekends to a beach bar + grill, two oceanfront pools, and non-motorized water sports. British Colonial Nassau is a seamless option for those seeking an upscale, sophisticated ambiance infused with key aspects of Bahamian culture.
The Deal: This year, the hotel is launching its ‘30/30/30’ offer. Beginning on November 15, book and receive 30% off the best available rates, a daily $30 food and beverage credit per room, 30% off movie and bowling passes at the Icons Entertainment Complex, and two welcome drink vouchers! Offer valid for a two-night minimum stay between December 1, 2024 - December 21, 2025. *Booking window November 15, 2024- December 6, 2024. Blackout dates: December 22, 2024 - January 2, 2025, and April 18-26, 2025. Food and beverage credit is per room, per day. (Value of saving $150 / Starting rates $179) Booking Link here
Galapagos, Ecuador
Ecoventura Ecuador
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- The Galápagos Islands is generally considered a low crime region, being safer than the Ecuadorian mainland. This means that race relations are good, and Black travelers will be perfectly able to explore this tropical paradise without a problem. The local community values and safeguards visitors, and there are rarely, if any, attacks on tourist boats or cruises.
Ecoventura | Galapagos, Ecuador
Named after Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution and Origin of the Species, Ecoventura’s 20-passenger, 10-cabin mega-yachts Origin, Theory & Evolve are the chicest and most exclusive way to experience one of humanity’s final frontiers. The only Relais & Chateaux-ranked ships to sail in the destination, Ecoventura offers guests a week of once-in-a-lifetime experiences in the height of luxury – think swimming with sea turtles, sunbathing with baby sea lions, coming face-to-face with the famous blue-footed boobies and strolling alongside Giant Galapagos Tortoises… all aboard what is more like a floating boutique hotel than a cruise!
The Deal: Ecoventura’s sails are so limited and exclusive that they rarely ever go on sale. However, they are offering 20% off select 2025 cruise departures for Black Friday/Cyber Monday shoppers when you book between November 29-December 6, 2024. That is a$2100 per person savings off the published rate of $10,500 per person for double occupancy rooms. Or if 2025 is the year you take on the solo adventure of a lifetime, Ecoventura is also offering an extra special solo offering of only $12,950 per cabin for single travelers (that is $6,050 in savings).
Key West, Florida
Southernmost Beach Resort
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- One of the most iconic LGBTQIA+ travel destinations, super tolerant and welcoming
- Super safe for nightlife and solo travelers
- It is one of the most welcoming multicultural towns in the entire country
- There’s a lot of hidden Black history here
Southernmost Beach Resort | Key West, FL
Situated on the quieter southern limit of the famed Duval Street, Southernmost Beach Resort features a modern, sleek design with classic coastal charm. Following a comprehensive transformation to an elevated destination experience in the heart of historic Key West, Florida, the resort features 296 guest rooms, including the newly renovated Guesthouses - four meticulously restored 19th-century Victorian homes for adult-only accommodations and shared community spaces like a cozy parlor bar and beachfront deck. Guests enjoy full access to Southernmost Beach Resort’s extensive luxury amenities, including three pools, bars, a spa, retail spaces, a private beach, and the renowned Southernmost Beach Cafe.
The Deal: 35% off all room types + $50 resort credit (for direct bookings only). Book dates are from November 19 - December 4, 2024, for stays between November 21 - December 31, 2025.
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London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
Your Guide To Letting Go Of What No Longer Serves You Based On Astrology
Letting go is a gift we are given and a strength that we find throughout our lives. There are times when we want to grab ahold of what we are experiencing and sensing, and times when we need to let go of something that was once everything to us or what we wanted for ourselves. The moment you conclude that you need to let something go in your life is the moment that your brain fights to make that happen for you.
In Astrology, there is an area of your birth chart that is designed for you to understand where you will be letting go a lot in this lifetime, and exactly how to do so. We dive through the birth chart as we seek a deeper understanding of ourselves and let go of what no longer serves us, and there are tools available to help us do so. If you don't know where your South Node is in your birth chart, you can use a free calculator like this one here.
What Does Your South Node Represent in Astrology?
When it comes to what we are destined to let go of or move away from in this lifetime, we look to the South Node. The South Node is the area of your birth chart that has to do with your past lives, karma, lessons, old habits and traits, gifts, and energy you are moving away from in this lifetime.
Your South Node is opposite your North Node, which is your destiny and the energy you want to move towards.
We can learn a lot from our South Node and it’s an area of our life where we tend to gain the most wisdom. By understanding why some patterns in your life tend to play out in the same ways, you can be more conscious of the choices you make in the now and let go of who and what doesn’t serve you in the process.
South Node Insights: Letting Go
The South Node is our natural gifts and talents, but also where we don’t need to focus so much of our energy on, taking us away from where we need to be developing, which is the North Node. So when you are looking to let go of something, gain a new perspective, or feel more trusting in what you are doing right now, you can examine your South Node.
We learn from our South Node by not making the same mistakes over again, letting go of what needs to be let go of, and understanding what we need in order to create space for our new beginning.
Read below for your South Node on how to let go of what no longer serves you.
Aries South Node: Letting Go of Independence for Connection
You are used to being independent and figuring things out on your own. In this lifetime, however, you are being asked to lean on others for support when you need it. You are working on letting go of the ego and focusing more on the heart. By extending your compassion for others, you discover a part of yourself that leads you toward empowerment and allows you to let go of a false sense of safety.
You are meant to experience harmonious, fortunate, and compatible love in this lifetime, and you will do so by opening your heart to others and letting go of people who don’t support you or whom you can’t count on.
Taurus South Node: Releasing Overdependence and Superficiality
With your South Node in Taurus, you are letting go of the need to acquire by focusing on the depth and intention of what you are obtaining. Your relationships tend to have a lot to do with your financial world, and these things can get twisted and distorted if you are not being careful.
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of what doesn’t serve you by following your heart and your intuition more and focusing more on the feeling you want for yourself rather than the things themselves. You are also working on letting go of overdependence or superficiality in relationships, by connecting with the people whom you have a deep and spiritual bond with.
Gemini South Node: Finding Freedom in Authenticity
For you, letting go means following your freedom. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime, and the less you can focus on how you are going to be perceived, the more you can live the life of your dreams. With a South Node in Gemini, you are moving away from the commotion of life. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is traveling, getting out of your comfort zone, and being in new environments.
In past lives, you may have given too much of your focus on your social successes and business pursuits, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on the bigger picture. What helps you let go is understanding that once you do, better is available to you.
Cancer South Node: Trusting Yourself Beyond Emotional Impulses
With a South Node in Cancer, you are learning to trust yourself and your logic more than your emotional world in this lifetime. By letting go of feeling like you have to be the one to nurture and support everyone and allowing people to do that for you, you lead your destiny.
With your South Node in Cancer, you are letting go of emotional impulsiveness or making decisions irrationally before you have thought about them.
In past lives, you were led by your emotional world, and in this lifetime, you are meant to think more about your long-term goals and intentions. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is knowing that you are more than what you can give to others.
Leo South Node: Prioritizing Community Over Recognition
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of the need to be seen and recognized and focus more on your need for community and soul companionship. You are moving away from the “I” and moving closer to the “We.” What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is giving your focus to humanity, the progress you want to make in this lifetime, and who you want to make it with.
You are learning how to work with others and let go of the need to figure everything out yourself. The more you connect with the people who make you want to team up and form a relationship, rather than the people who make you want to be alone, the better for you.
Virgo South Node: Embracing Compassion Over Perfection
In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to do everything yourself and to have everything all together. You can let go of what no longer serves you by thinking more with your heart than you do with your mind and by trusting this gift of yours. By focusing more on your spirituality, emotional connections, and creativity, you let go of a timid side of you that can disrupt your relationships or the bonds you make.
In past lifetimes, you were focused on perfection. In this lifetime, you are meant to focus on compassion. By surrendering more to the flow of things, you can let go of what no longer serves you while remaining open for what does.
Libra South Node: Rediscovering Your Independence
With your South Node in Libra, you are meant to experience the gifts of independence, freedom, and inner clarity in this lifetime. In the past, you may have been more dependent on the people around you and made a lot of your focus on love. However, in this lifetime, you are being reminded to not lose your identity in others. You can let go of what no longer serves you by only moving towards the things that feel authentic to you.
You are meant to feel confident, inspired, and free in your relationships, and if you don’t feel this way, then that is a sign you are around energy that doesn’t serve you. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime.
Scorpio South Node: Letting Go of Struggles and Embracing Ease
With your South Node in Scorpio, you have lived many lives and have experienced a lot emotionally. In this lifetime, you are learning how to trust the process more and to understand that not everything has to be difficult or trying for you. You can experience great things with ease, and you’ll know you are in the right place when things are just falling into your lap.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is focusing more on the things and people who make you feel safe, stable, and comfortable. Instead of always seeking the rush or the thrill, bring your attention more towards the things that ground you.
Sagittarius South Node: Building Connection Through Learning
Your South Node in Sagittarius urges you towards connection with your community and your immediate environment. In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to be everywhere at once, rather than with the people who matter most to you. You are moving away from knowing everything and into learning everything.
By looking at life as a place where you will learn, grow, and connect, you can let go of the things that stretch you too thin or don’t serve your heart.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is expressing yourself more, meeting new people, and spending time on a cause or creative project that inspires you.
Capricorn South Node: Choosing Home and Foundations Over Status
In this lifetime, you are meant to put more value and effort into your personal life, home, family, and foundations in life. In past lifetimes, a lot of your focus was on your reputation, achievements, and successes, and in this lifetime, you are meant to bring your energy more to the home base, family, and stability in life.
You will know if something is right for you if you want it because it makes you feel safe and nurtured, rather than just something that looks pleasing to the eye. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is by focusing more on your personal life rather than your public, and what you truly see for yourself here.
Aquarius South Node: Shining in Your Individuality
With an Aquarius South Node, you are meant to shine, be seen, and express yourself in this lifetime. You are letting go of the lone wolf energy you are used to, and working on taking up space. You are able to let go of what no longer serves you by being confident in yourself and the decisions you are making.
If someone doesn’t make you feel like the best thing in the entire world, then they aren’t right for you. In past lifetimes, you gave a lot of your energy to your community and the people around you, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on yourself and your path more. It’s all about doing what makes you feel good and trusting that you deserve to.
Pisces South Node: Honoring Logic While Embracing Intuition
Your lesson in this lifetime is that your mind is your gift. In past lives, you were very intuitive, psychic, and spiritual, and in this lifetime, you are learning to trust and honor the logical part of yourself more. You may tend to put your all into your relationships and not get the same energy back, and you are working on taking care of yourself first before you can give to another.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is trusting your body and the signals it gives you when you are around certain people or energy that doesn’t serve. Get organized, figure out your needs, boundaries, and wants, and get clear on who you are and what you want for yourself.
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There is a running joke (that I’m actually quite serious about) that I find myself saying to married couples often: “Shoot, with all that comes with being married, y’all deserve to have as many orgasms as you possibly can.” And as someone who has been working with husbands and wives for over 20 years now, I make it my personal mission to provide all of the information that I can to ensure that achieving the peak of satisfactory sex happens — whether they’ve been together for two years, 10 years or 40 years.
And today? Today, I’m going to share something that, if you are married, you can do to improve your sex life that is actually super easy and hella effective. It just requires moving into a different space. Yes, literally.
Read on, and I’ll explain more.
Get Out of the Bed, Y’all. It’s Time.
GiphyThere’s no telling how many times I’ve said over the years that I agree with interior designers when they say that the purpose of the bedroom is sex and sleep — no more, no less. And that alone makes it pretty obvious why the “default location” for copulation is a bed. It’s private. It’s comfortable. Plus, it’s such an ideal location for foreplay, intercourse, and afterplay (which typically consists of quite a bit of cuddling), too. And since beds/bedrooms are so ideal for sexual activity, it’s very easy to take the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach and just stay in that space most, if not all, of the time.
The challenge with that is, if you’re not careful, boredom can creep into your bedroom — and since I think we all can agree that a satisfying sex life is an essential part of any healthy relationship, boredom isn’t something that you should just shrug off, especially since one study revealed that about a third of Americans are currently not very thrilled by what’s happening up in their bedrooms these days.
Not only that, but I once read an article that said sexual boredom is why there is an uptick in masturbation, lower sex drives, an increase in cheating, more relational conflict, and a ho-hum take on relationships overall.
Now, are there seasons when sex is going to seem less exciting than others? 1000 percent (check out “The 'Seasons Of Sex' That Married People Go Through”). And so, if you’re reading this and you happen to be someone who plans on getting married someday, that is something that you should absolutely keep in mind. However, to the married folks, those seasons can happen less (or you can get through them faster) if you’re more intentional about doing things that can keep your sex life fresh and stimulating.
And one of those things includes…GETTING OUT OF THE DAMN BED.
5 Benefits of Having Sex Outside the Bedroom
GiphyOkay, so what are some of the benefits that come with making this minor coitus-related tweak?
1. Getting out of the bed is spontaneous. While reading an article that featured a survey of 500 Americans and 500 Europeans on their favorite place to have sex, the top rank was in public. I’m pretty sure that’s because it’s risqué, it’s random and the spontaneity of it all can be stimulating as all get out. Look, even if you’re not down for having sex in a restaurant or club bathroom, technically your backyard is still considered to be “public.” Pitch a tent and try it there. If you wait until nightfall, the fresh air and stars alone might get your adrenaline going…in ways you never expected.
2. Getting out of the bed is fun. It’s hard to be bored when you’re having fun and when you’re exploring something different with your partner, that can open the door to discuss new things, to laugh about new experiences, and to enjoy the trial and error of experimentation. Plus, laughter has been proven to release endorphins (feel-good hormones), which can make having orgasms easier. Besides, it’s kind of hard to not laugh, at least a little bit, when you’re in the midst of having a really good time — sex should also be considered a really good time.
3. Getting out of the bed can introduce you to new approaches to intimacy. Say that your man suggests going down on you on the countertop in the kitchen one day, out of the blue. I don’t mean during the midnight hour, either. I mean, when the sun is still out, and the curtains are slightly drawn. If normally, you’re down for some oral, yet you prefer to engage in pitch blackness while lying back on your mattress, being on the counter could “hit angles” that you didn’t know existed while being in the light could boost your sexual confidence in ways that you didn’t quite predict.
4. Getting out of the bed can teach you something else/different about your partner (and yourself). One of my clients once told me that when her husband recommended having sex in a Starbucks bathroom (one of the cleaner bathrooms, I’ve heard), she said that it caught her so off guard that they ended up having a long conversation about sexual fantasies. As a result, they decided to come up with sex-themed bucket lists every six months that consist of new things that they want to try. She said that it’s been one of the wisest moves that they’ve ever made. You can learn more about how to make your own by checking out, “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List.’”
5. Getting out of the bed can make your bedroom feel “new” again. You know what they say — absence makes the heart grow fonder, and if you aren’t always having sex in that bedroom of yours, that can actually make you “miss” it sometimes, especially if you decide to do some redecorating (as far as bedding and candles, etc. go) a couple of times a year.
As you can see, doing something as simple as having sex somewhere other than your bedroom can create a whole new world, quite literally, as far as your sex life is concerned.
One of the Best Places to Have Sex
What if I’ve got you convinced to get out of your bed, and, yet, you’re not quite ready to do anything that’s considered to be “too crazy” just yet? No problem. All you’ve got to do is head towards the place where apparently most people use as a safe out-of-the-bedroom go-to: their living room couch.
In fact, couches are apparently so “sex popular” that a few years back, GQ published a piece entitled, “Couch Sex Is the Best Sex.” Why? Couches are comfortable. Couches are different from a bed.
Also, the sex position possibilities that come with the help of a couch are pretty endless. Not only that, but when I asked some of my clients how they felt about having sex on their own couches, several told me that the 69 (oral) sex position is on a whole ‘nother level, thanks to the armrests on their couch (you’re welcome — LOL). So, if you’re wanting to “ease out” of the bedroom, sex-wise, try your couch. For starters.
15 Other Places to Have Sex (If You Haven’t Already)
GiphyNow that I’ve hopefully at least got you to consider getting out of the bedroom (period or far more often), let me share a quick list of places to try — in case you need a bit more inspiration:
1. The laundry room — with the cycle running, it’s like a huge vibrator.
2. The dining room — afteran aphrodisiac-filled romantic dinner. You’ll probably already havesome sex condiments within your arms’ reach.
3. In the shower. Before you hate, read this first: “So, This Is How To Make Shower Sex So Much Better.”
4. Against a wall — any wall. Have you noticed that some of the hottest sex scenes in movies are filmed up against a wall? It’s great for oral sex as well as intercourse.
5. In one of your closets. It’s in a close proximity, and you can hold on to racks that hold your hangers. Plus, it’s pitch black in there if dark is your thing…even in the daytime.
6. On throw pillows on the floor. Over the holidays, I watched a video of Nick Cannon with his firstborn twins at his house. One of his rooms is a theater room that’s filled with nothing but throw pillows. Personally, I’m a big throw pillow fan because they are cozy, comfy, and a great option for sitting on the floor. “Floor sex” conveys “gotta have you now” and the more lust that’s in the air, chances are, the better the sex will be.
7. In a rocking chair. Someone was recently telling me how amazing sex is in a tantra chair. When I looked one up, it reminded me of a chaise lounge. Anyway, that did get me thinking about how chairs can make for deeper penetration and super close face-to-face intimacy. If you step it up and get in a rocking chair, you can control the speed of the intercourse in a cool way. Try it and report back.
8. In a sleeping bag on your deck. Cuddling with your hubby is already going to get your oxytocin levels up. It would be a shame to let them go to waste, so strip naked from the waist down and engage in spoon sex. No one has to know (which is a part of the thrill!).
9. In an office. His or yours. I mean, even if it’s a home office, it qualifies.
10. Via a trampoline. I mean, you might’ve bought one for the kids. However, after you read Elite Daily’s “4 Sex Moves To Try On A Trampoline & Take Getting Frisky To New Heights,” you might wanna get one for yourself. #wink
11. On a truck bed. Down a country road. It’s rustic, raw and romantic. If you don’t have a truck, borrow or rent one. It’ll be worth it.
12. On a road trip. Rent an SUV that has tinted windows. While heading to wherever you’re going, stop and have sex in random spots along the way. This is where quickies can come in hella handy.
13. On the hood of your car. I mean, it can always be in the garage…if you’d prefer.
14. Airport parking lots — in the cheap section. Hey, if public sex is your thing, you can try those same tinted windows that I just mentioned in the airport lot sections that are super far from the airport because they are cheap. If you go up in there after midnight, barely anyone is around. Just sayin’.
15. While on a sexcation. Pretty sure it’s time for one of those, anyway (check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!”).
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It’s actually a husband who once told me that it’s hard to get bored with your partner, so long as you both really desire each other and mutually want to keep your sex life strong. Changing locations can help with this, so use this year as the year to give it a shot. You might be surprised by how a simple shift can make sex the very kind that you’ve been longing for (lately)!
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Featured image by Giphy