There was a lot of pressure placed on the shoulders of television this year. After being stuck in our homes forever, and watching everything there was to know, audiences became more critical of small screen stories than critics themselves. A demand for more was given, without the actual qualifications as to what that truly meant. Did they mean more heart-wrenching dramas or gut-busting comedies? Did they mean more of the supernatural or more of the mundane? Did they mean more of the past or a glimpse into the future?F
Regardless of what the audiences called for, creators and producers stepped up and gave us all of what we demanded in our vagueness--and so much more. Now out of a debilitating year of hell, and still in recovery, television has arrived with stories worth waiting for and here are the top ones of the year.
1.Pose
lights GIF by Pose FXGiphyThe category is…grateful. When it was announced in 2020 that Pose’s third season would be its final one, I remember wishing that each and every character would be given the conclusion they deserved. After watching two seasons of endless heartbreak, temporary wins, and watery smiles, I wanted a chance for the characters to get the happy ending that I knew the people they represented never did. For the sake of not spoiling the show, I refuse to mention if they do get the ending that they deserve. I will, however, mention that I am satisfied with the creation and conclusion of this beautifully heart-wrenching and heartwarming masterpiece.
Pose is a drama spotlighting the icons and ferocious house mothers of New York’s underground ball culture in the ‘80s and ‘90s. Following gay and transgender characters (and actors), Pose focuses on Blanca Rodriguez (MJ Rodriguez), Pray Tell (Billy Porter), Elektra (Dominique Jackson), and others as they navigate the LGBTQ+ world, while also battling the HIV/AIDS epidemic.
With heavy themes and ruthlessly honest depictions of humanity, it would be easy for Pose to become riddled with unwatchable struggle and sorrow. Yet, the show’s intentional decision to balance its sadness with conspicuously endearing characters—and their love for themselves and their self-appointed families—creates a series where one cannot help but to adoringly watch in awe as they live, work, and pose.
2.WandaVision
Scarlet Witch Marvel GIF by Disney+GiphyAt this point, I have made it pretty clear how much I love television. And when I say "love" I mean it in the biggest misuse of terms, because the word I truly want to use hasn't been invented yet. Ever since I was a kid, and especially as an adult, I have found television to be an elegant art form. The music has to be powerful, but not so overpowering that it takes away from the scene. The writing has to be eloquently crafted to sound as regular as it is otherworldly. The sets must be inviting yet exclusive. The actors must be the characters.
To get one thing wrong means changing what could have been a powerful impactful story, into a wasted mess of potential. The more imaginative the show, the more room for error. WandaVision was very imaginative, and--when it came to perfecting its craft--had plenty of room for error.
The music was so noticeable that oftentimes even the characters would acknowledge it. The writing style changed with every episode, as if from various time periods. The sets were inviting, but never as it would seem. The actors were at times miscast. Yet, I have never seen something more masterfully executed than this adroit television show.
WandaVision follows Avengers, Wanda Maximoff, and Vision, three weeks after the events of Avengers: Endgame. Living in Westview, Wanda and Vision indulge in living in mundane suburbia, while trying to hide their true identities. Nonetheless, things are not as they seem when their surroundings begin to travel through decades and characters prove to be more than their tropes. This show is wondrous and if you haven't seen it yet, you're in for an amazing nine episodes.
The story of WandaVision is one that has not been seen in a while, especially in this diluted sea of superheroes. What could have been easily a Marvel show gone wrong (looking at you season four and up of Agents of Shield) turned into an extraordinary, artful portrayal of uncontrolled grief. This fantastic mini-series shows what happens when a character who loves television is created by people who love it, too.
3.Snowfall
Season 3 Fx GIF by SnowfallGiphyWhat a fall from grace. Then again, was Franklin ever truly graceful? Returning with its fourth season, Snowfall continues its following of anti-hero, Franklin Saint as his dirty work contributes to the 1980s cocaine epidemic. Under the influence of the morally bankrupt CIA operative, Teddy, Franklin, and his family find themselves completely out of (and somehow in) their element when they sink further and further into the cocaine business.
After watching this season, I find it hard to believe that I ever fell for the charm that is--was (is?) Franklin Saint. In the beginning, he was a character worth rooting for. Despite his obvious shortcomings-his unrelenting quest for power--it was hard not to want Franklin to succeed. I had hoped that his desire to get himself and his mom out of Los Angeles and gain enough money to return to college would turn into something. I had hoped that he would become something more than what was expected of him.
Then he went and pursued selling and making cocaine, and...I'll be completely honest: I continued to root for him. I didn't see Franklin as a criminal, I only saw him as a result of systematic circumstances. I understood Franklin turning to crime when education turned its back to him. Now, I don't see that anymore. That person, that person mentioned before no longer exists. After everything that has happened, especially this season, I can no longer absolve Franklin of his decisions, nor do I think he should be.
Despite this, I eagerly tune in every week to see what will happen next. Franklin is a disaster, but he does have some redeemable qualities, and if I were to think on it all of the characters--except for Teddy--do. They're messy, but they are human and trying. They love each other despite loving power just a little more. I can't stand to watch their descent, but I can't bear to look away.
The upcoming season has been announced to be Snowfall's final, and after all of the trouble, I'm just hoping that season five will give everyone some reprieve, and make this entire messy descent worth it.
4.The Underground Railroad
The Underground Railroad GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphyI almost missed this piece of art. Not because I didn’t know it existed, but because with every fiber of my being, I did not want to see it. As a Black person, I am so sick and tired of seeing Black pain. It’s in the news, it’s on social media, and the last place I wanted it to be was purposefully on my TV. When I saw the trailer and ads for the show, I pushed it aside and wiped my hands clean of it.
Then, out of the blue, I cracked. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. All I know is that I sat in front of the TV and managed to stumble on the first episode. Once I left the first episode, the second was playing and before you know it I was ten episodes in. Call me weak if you must, but if you ask me, it was one of the best decisions I had made this year.
The Underground Railroad follows Cora, an escaped enslaved woman, as she boards a train to embark on an agonizing journey toward true freedom. Meanwhile, she is being chased by a notorious slave catcher, who is determined to return her to where he believes she belongs.
This show is considered one of the best shows of the year because of three reasons: Thuso Mbedu (Cora), William Jackson Harper (Royal), and Barry Jenkins. Mbedu in the lead role is truly exceptional. The South African actress deserves accolades and then some for her portrayal as Cora. One of the most moving scenes would appear in the first episode, where she is told that she will be able to see America as it is if only she looks out the window. Throughout the show, we watch the hopefulness that Cora once felt in the face of freedom dwindle as she truly sees America for what it is. America was beautiful and under the perception of Jenkins' lens, its beauty is clear. But with the people who make America what it is, its beauty can be hard to notice under the light of its hate.
Mbedu carries this show on every pore of her back and when she needs a moment, which is rare, Harper picks it up. The entire show is filmed like art, and the lessons the characters learn are as heartbreaking as one would expect. Nevertheless, every heartbreaking moment is worth it, especially when we get to see this Black woman become the hero of her own story.
5.Invincible
Admittedly, I didn't want to watch Invincible.
Despite watching Shang-Chi and all of his rings, braving The Eternals despite its reviews, and preordering tickets to the recently released Spider-Man: No Way Home film, I grew tired of superhero things. Besides the heroes that I had already committed myself to--remember the WandaVision review from a second ago--I didn't feel the desire to get attached to a new hero. I didn't have the care to see the same story told through another animation. I had seen it all. So much so that I believed I could tell the story myself.
So, when I finally sat down to watch Invincible, I found myself thinking just that. It had followed the same trope that we had all seen before. There is a semi-normal person, Mark Grayson, who wants to follow in his father's footsteps, the hero Omni-Man, but cannot. Why? He doesn't have powers. Although, this does not remain a problem for long. When he obtains his invincible powers, Mark eventually learns what it means to be a superhero from his parents. With his ability, though it will take time, he will save the world. Typical, right? Not so much.
What seemed like a cookie-cutter, fun but expected animation quickly turns into something more dark and drastic than ever expected. Over the course of eight episodes, 40-ish minutes long each, we discover that falling into the typical hero trope might not be such a bad thing. Because when done right, what is expected makes room for the unexpected to shine.
By the final scene, the characters are launched into a new chapter that shows that all heroes are villains in another's story. And that sometimes the ones who save the day are the ones you never believed could. Whether you like animation doesn't matter, you're going to like this.
6.Lupin
Suit Up French GIF by NETFLIXGiphyLike all great shows of this year, Lupin–the little engine that could–came out of nowhere.
A crime, mystery-thriller series, Lupin follows a man, Assane Diop (Omar Sy), who is inspired by the nefarious actions of thief Arsene Lupin. After his father is framed for the theft of an expensive diamond necklace, he hangs himself in prison when his sentencing becomes unbearable. Years later, now an adult, Assane decides to seek vengeance on the true thief, his father’s former employer, Hubert Pellegrini, and his family.
Split into two parts–the first coming out in early 2021, the second mid-2021–Lupin leaves the audience constantly on the edge of their seats and always wanting more. Unlike most thrillers, this show leans into being both mysterious and fun. The heist that Diop plans is simultaneously over the top and just enough to make the viewers constantly wonder if and when he will truly be caught.
This show reminds me of the early 2000s TNT show Leverage, a show where heists were done on a regular basis, only to go wrong, just to turn out oh so right. Lupin is very similar in the sense of things going wrong, and somehow, only looking wrong to the audience. Just when you think Diop has nowhere to go, he changes like the wind and adapts to situations in a way that could never be predictable. It’s entertaining. It’s nail-biting. It’s immensely fun.
In addition to this, the show does a great job of making the setting just as much of an important character as Diop himself. Paris gets a chance to shine in a light that is more than just being the “city of lights.” Instead of showing the typical tourist sights, the audience is given all of Paris and its beauty. Though, these often picturesque locations are the backdrop to messier, and undesirable situations.
With just ten episodes, Lupin can be watched over the span of a weekend. With subtitles, it should be watched diligently. Regardless of when and how you choose to watch it, it is an entertaining and thrilling experience worth adding to the front of your queue.
7.Blindspotting
Sipping Tea Time GIF by BlindspottingGiphyThere is a reason why Jasmine Cephas Jones' award shelf keeps getting more and more crowded. Though, before you shout Hamilton, know that that was six years ago (despite Disney+ release), and not the biggest reason at the moment. Instead, Jones' current awards and accolades come from her stunning performance in Blindspotting.
Based on the 2018 indie film with the same name, Blindspotting follows Jones as she reprises her role of Ashley, a young mother in Oakland who struggles to keep her house in order when her boyfriend of 12 years is arrested for selling drugs. With dreams once in sight, Ashley finds herself trying to rebuild her life when she learns that she will have to leave her newly built home, and bunk with her boyfriend's mother when she discovers that he won't be returning for a while. From this typical family drama ensues, nevertheless, Jones' performance is what truly steals the show.
Similar to Starz's gone-too-soon hit, Vida, Blindspotting does a wonderful job of showing what happens when one is born in a neighborhood but doesn't necessarily belong in the neighborhood. From the very moment she returns, it is clear that Ashley and her son are somewhat welcomed by the people, but that she shouldn't be there in the first place. She does not enjoy the same things those of the block do. She does not value the same things either. This often pits her against her boyfriend and his family's ideals. What they see as an everyday thing, she sees as "fuckery" that isn't worth dealing with.
Not only this, but it is very clear through Jones's performance the difference between Ashley and those of the neighborhood. She doesn't stick out like a sore thumb, from first sight, it seems as if she truly belongs there. Nevertheless, because she has ambitions outside of the block and outside of the life her boyfriend has given her, it becomes very obvious that she will never be truly satisfied.
The term "blindspotting" defined within the movie by writer and star Daveed Digg's character, Rafael Casal, relates to the limits of one's perception, a dualism that cannot be seen.
While the term in the film was meant to show why the characters might not be able to move past where they are, this term does not completely fit the character of Ashley, which might contribute to her greatest hindrance. Ashley can see the dualism and she is not satisfied with the life that she is constantly forced to see outside of her doors. With drugs, gentrification, and the lack of a steady place to call her own, Ashley takes a completely different approach from the other characters of the show/film.
While they see home, Ashley sees a prison worthy of escaping now that she has outgrown it. Though, escaping it might be easier said than done.
8.Squid Games
Round 6 Game GIFGiphyThis wouldn’t be a "best TV shows of 2021" list if Squid Games was not on it. As stated before, the best shows this year came out of nowhere, and man did this come out of nowhere. As ruthless as it is intriguing, Squid Games was such a hit, mainly because it did what no other show was willing to do: it held a mirror to the world as it is.
Yes, one could argue that The Underground Railroad did this, reflecting America’s biggest sin on the screens. Nevertheless, that sin is only limited to America pertaining to its longevity of enslavement and ruthlessness. Squid Games, although a South Korean show, shows how truly terrible we are as an overall global society. These errors aren’t rooted in the past, instead, it is formed and cultivated right in the depressing and at times hopeless present.
Often compared to the likes of Hunger Games, Squid Games finds itself to be just a little more gruesome. Even though the Hunger Games has more ruthless arenas and children killing each other, Squid Games is just a little worse, mainly because its cruelty is presented through our childhood games. Meaning, the games aren’t difficult to complete, what makes it truly difficult and Hunger Games-esque, is how willing everyone is to kill one another to seek their economic goal. Which only reflects how awful our current world is because if given the chance to relieve myself of debt, and this game had been an option, I would honestly consider completing it.
Squid Games shows what is truly wrong with our current world, and it also shows how easily this wrong could be rectified, if only our leaders would spend more time helping their people, rather than pitting them against one another. Like other Netflix originals, Squid Games is dubbed, but to truly understand and feel the cruelty of the show, go the extra mile and enjoy it with captions.
9.Reservation Dogs
Native American Indian GIF by Reservation DogsGiphyHear ye, yes, hear me: Any show or story about a person of color I am watching. I repeat, any damn story that is told about a person of color, by a person of color, I am watching.
If it just so happens to be good, I am watching and I am staying. Reservation Dogs, FX’s newest comedy show, is a show about people of color, made by people of color, that is definitely worth staying for.
Reservation Dogs focuses on four Native American teenagers who commit insouciant crimes to fund their mutual dream of moving to California. Until they can raise enough money, they spend most of their time with limited opportunities while hindered by the loss of their close friend Daniel, whose death they blame on the circumstances of their community. Due to this, drama ensues, which at times can be heartbreakingly dramatic, but for the most part, it is presented with hilarity that has never been associated with Native American people on-screen.
This show is why representation truly matters. With its four teenage characters, Elora, Bear, Cheese, and Willie, Reservation Dogs tells a delightfully intriguing story of people who are just trying to live. That's it. Yet, it is fantastic in its depth and actual representation of who Native American people are today, which is a perfect blend of their old and modern cultures. In some episodes, the air time is shared between all four characters and we get to understand why they want to leave as a collected group. In other episodes, the time is divided and we are given reasons why each character has a reason to leave.
These reasons make us wish the characters could go and start that life they so desperately want in California, and after watching their daily nonsense we root for their petty crimes to succeed. Although knowing how California is, and knowing how the world cares not for the many, a part of me wishes for them to stay within their community. Though, I know California could be better for them, there is still that chance that it won't be, and it would be a shame for such likable characters to be let down once more.
Reservation Dogs is a show that everyone must see. Not because the story being told is groundbreaking, but because the people who get to tell their story are. It is rare to see a show that follows a particular culture and group despite it being 2021, and it is even more rare to see it be Native American people who have somehow been erased from their own history.
Watching Reservation Dogs will make you cry, it will make you laugh, and most importantly it will make you say, "it is about damn time."
10.Harlem
Meagan Good Kidding GIF by HarlemGiphyPrime has done it, again. Sneaking in with just a minute to spare--it premiered on December 3, 2021--Harlemis another top show worthy of watching this year. Following four girlfriends as they navigate their personal lives and careers, Harlem is what occurs when Girlfriends meets Insecure and Living Single. Created byGirls Trip writer Tracy Oliver, Harlem is grounded in its friendships and the hilarity that occurs when life gets as ridiculous as it does get complicated.
During the first few episodes, we are introduced to Harlem through the perspective of Camille (Meagan Good) a newly single (if you can call a year new) anthropology professor. When she attempts to jump back into the dating world, her friends are introduced to help her maneuver through the world of dating apps and disappointment. Despite being introduced to this world through Camille, the audience continues to travel through Harlem with the (mis)guidance of Quinn, Tye, and Angie, too. Like Camille, they must deal with messy love lives, not-so-wise decision-making, and the burden of just trying to "human" right. Nevertheless, the beauty of this show is that they manage to deal with all of this together.
The issues they find themselves in are often avoidable, but honestly, most situations we all find ourselves in are just that. Regardless, what makes Harlem entertaining is how they manage to get themselves out of a situation they knew from the beginning was never meant for them. At times, this behavior can be seen as messy and pointlessly so. Other times, it just seems entertaining and as if they are making decisions because they know it could be a great story to tell in the future.
No matter what it is, Harlem shows the power Black-female friendships can create, but in a typical Tracey Oliver fashion, it also shows what can happen when people are just allowed to live proudly and unapologetically the way they choose.
Honorable Mentions:We Are Lady Parts, Girl5Eva, Hacks, Mare of Easttown, The Great, Midnight Mass, and Only Murders in the Building.
Featured image by Getty Images
Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
'We Had To Heal To Love': Taja Simpson And Ryan Easter’s Journey To Lasting Love
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
One of my favorite things about interviewing married couples and hearing their diverse “How We Met” stories is the way they affirm true love and integral beliefs. One principle that I wholeheartedly believe is that one must truly know and love oneself before effectively doing it for another human being, and Taja Simpson and Ryan Easter’s story affirms this.
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
'Tis The Season To Stream Black: 15 New Holiday Movies For The Culture
It’s beginning to look a lot like - Black Christmas or whatever Michael Bublé said. As we countdown to Christmas and fully immerse ourselves into the holiday season, we’re overjoyed how, each year, the inclusivity of holiday movies grows. From BET+, OWN, Hallmark, and Lifetime, we’ve got you covered with over 15 Black holiday movies. So grab your favorite holiday snack, put your pajamas on, and get to streaming!
Scouting For Christmas (Hallmark)
Screenshot/ Scouting For Christmas
Angela has been a busy realtor since her amicable divorce a couple of years ago. Now, she is a devoted, if often harried, single mom to a smart and loving 10-year-old girl, Brooklyn. When Brooklyn gets the idea to have William (Marks), the owner of her favorite bakery, cater her scout troop’s posh annual holiday event, she asks Angela to work with him on pitching the idea to the moms in charge. Despite sensing that her daughter might be trying to play cupid, she agrees to help and finds herself enjoying time with him, but is reluctant to open her heart and life to someone new. When Dakota returns, missing her, Angela must decide what is best for her daughter and best for her heart.
Air Date: October 20th
Meet Me Next Christmas (Netflix)
Screenshot/ Meet Me Next Christmas
Christina Milian, Devale Ellis, AND Kofi Siriboe in one holiday film? Sign me up! On a quest to meet the man of her dreams, a hopeless romantic races across New York City to find a ticket to a sold-out Pentatonix Christmas concert.
Air Date: November 6th
A Season to Remember (OWN)
Meet Me Next Christmas/ A Season to Remember
Symone Gibson is a sports reporter in Detroit who's trying to find a story that will take her career to the next level. With the help of a new cameraman, Iggy, she chases down a story and finds romance, courage, and a new sense of direction.
Air Date: November 7th
A Christmas Miracle (BET+)
Screenshot/ A Christmas Miracle
When the Christmas Jubilee at the local community center is in danger of losing funding, the family must band together to make sure everyone, including the kids, have a Merry Christmas.
Air Date: Nov 7th
Style Me For Christmas (BET+)
Screenshot/ Style Me For Christmas
Anything involving Mario’s sexiness and the sound of his sultry voice is a win for me. A boutique owner facing eviction at Christmas gets the fashion assignment of a lifetime when she’s chosen to style a handsome celebrity who’s also a playboy.
Air Date: Nov 14th
Mistletoe & Matrimony (OWN)
Screenshot/ Mistletoe & Matrimony
Olivia Morris (Ashlei Sharpe) is a successful wedding planner who plays it safe in life and love. She is forced to reckon with her timid tendencies when she’s unwillingly tasked with planning her vivacious younger sister’s Christmas Eve wedding. Things get even more complicated when Olivia’s ex-boyfriend, Isaiah (Etienne Maurice), returns from overseas to help with the wedding. When sparks fly with her former flame amidst unfolding family drama, Olivia contemplates if she is finally ready to live life on her own terms this holiday season.
Air Date: November 14th
A Wesley South African Christmas
Screenshot/ A Wesley South African Christmas
When his international business venture comes to a screeching halt, Todd must stick around Durban, South Africa, during the Christmas holiday to close the deal, but not without the Wesley family and all their holiday shenanigans.
Air Date: Nov 21st
The Day Before Christmas (BET+)
Screenshot/ The Day Before Christmas
When two single parents accidentally swap phones and their children’s backpacks on a hectic Christmas Eve, they find themselves covering for each other in a series of chaotic yet heartwarming events, leading to unexpected romance.
Air Date: Nov 28th
Make or Bake Christmas (Lifetime)
Screenshot/ Make or Bake Christmas
With Christmas fast approaching, Leslie, known for her expertise in all things domestic and top lifestyle brands, is looking to expand her business. She sets her sights on the bakery, Sugar Bakers, owned by Denise Sugarbaker and run by her son, David. Determined to make a deal before the end of the year, Leslie sends one of her top employees, Emma, to go undercover as a seasonal employee in order to convince them to sell. Emma unexpectedly finds herself falling in love with the quaint bakery with its Christmas spirit, staff and especially, David.
Air Date: December 1st
Brewster’s Millions: Christmas (BET +)
Screenshot/ Brewster’s Millions: Christmas
When Monica Brewster, a wealthy heiress who has lost her way, faces a Christmas challenge to inherit her uncle Monty Brewster’s grandfather’s fortune, she must learn the true meaning of love, faith, and family by giving instead of receiving, all while navigating the charming chaos, and the true meaning of the holiday season.
Air Date: December 5th
A Very Merry Beauty Salon (Lifetime)
Screenshot/ A Very Merry Beauty Salon
Sienna is preparing for Atlanta's Tinsel Ball, where she will be honored for her charitable work. The annual event takes a glamorous turn with the arrival of Lawrence, whose family's wine brand is now co-sponsoring the Ball.
Air Date: December 7th
Too Many Christmases (BET+)
Screenshot/ Too Many Christmases
Jerome and Kayla are excited to spend their first Christmas together as husband and wife. The only problem is that they’ve never celebrated Christmas without their respective families. This Christmas, instead of deciding on one event, they agree to attend two at the same time to appease their families.
Air Date: December 12th
Queens of Christmas (BET+)
Screenshot/ Queens of Christmas
Doris and Julia, life-long friends and feuding neighbors, learn the true meaning of ‘sisterhood’ and Christmas while hilariously competing for the annual title of ‘Queen of Christmas.'
Air Date: December 19th
24-Karat Christmas (OWN)
Screenshot/ 24-Karat Christmas
When Trish (Samantha Marie Ware), an unlucky-in-love jewelry designer, accidentally sends a set of Christmas wedding bands off with the wrong person, she and the charming best man, Book Mosely (Curtis Hamilton), must work together to track them down and get them to the wedding on Christmas Eve – in the process learning that you can’t wait for love to find you, you have to go out and find it.
Air Date: December 21st
Blended Christmas
Screenshot/ Blended Christmas
After a freak accident, a new bride cancels her tropical Christmas honeymoon to take care of her husband’s ex-wife and kids with a little help from a holiday angel.
Air Date: December 25th
Have you seen any of these films yet? Sound off in the comments, and don’t forget to stream and support each and every one of these films and the actors who made the characters come to life. Happy Holidays xoFAM!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ A Very Merry Christmas