The Power Of Perspective: Tonesa Welch's Story And The Importance Of Black Women's Voices In Film
Most are familiar with the BMF story, but the tale of Tonesa Welch, the First Lady who was at the epicenter of drug trafficking in Detroit during the ‘80s and ‘90s, remains largely untold. Tonesa's journey is one of resilience and transformation, as she navigated the tumultuous world of crime and emerged with a renewed sense of purpose. After serving time in prison, Tonesa has dedicated herself to turning her life around, becoming a powerful example of redemption and the possibility of positive change. Her story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there is always a path to a brighter future.
I had the pleasure of sitting down with Tonesa herself, director Vivica A. Fox and executive producer Tressa Smallwood to discuss the new film now streaming on BET+ to discuss the transformative power of storytelling and the critical role that Black women play in owning and shaping our narratives.
Certainly, Vivica Fox is no stranger to the big screen, having graced us with her captivating performances in a myriad of iconic roles such as Set It Off and Two Can Play That Game. However, this project marked a momentous first for Vivica as she stepped into the director's chair, embracing a new and exciting chapter in her illustrious career. In a candid conversation, Vivica expressed her heartfelt gratitude towards her collaborator, Tressa, who offered her the invaluable opportunity to explore the world of directing.
“I'm actually very grateful to my partner there, Tressa. She gave me an opportunity to see if I like directing,” Vivica shared. She went on to reveal the challenges and triumphs of the production process, noting that the team had a mere 14 days to bring the film to fruition, a testament to their dedication, resilience, and unwavering passion for storytelling.
In my conversation with Tonesa, we discussed the significance of her sharing her own story, particularly as a young Black woman. Tonesa highlighted the importance of reclaiming her narrative and challenging stereotypes and emphasized that telling her story is about empowerment and inspiring others. Her commitment to authenticity and inclusivity underscores the need to amplify diverse voices and broaden our understanding of the stories that shape our world.
“Because people have so many different perspectives of women in the streets, and they think we are always behind the man, and that's not always true. I just wanted to show people how it happened, how I made it through it and made it out, and what I'm doing now. I'm working on me. I'm helping other people, and I want people to see that from me,” said Tonesa.
“I was given a second chance, and that's what I want to do. Once I left the prison doors, I said I'm not ever coming back here. I'm not ever living that life again. So that's why it's important because people get you stuck in that box, and I'm not that person anymore, especially as Black women. We're so multi-dimensional. There's so many different sides to us and everyone does try to fit us in one box or put us in one stereotype.”
Vivica delved deeper into her role as a director, providing us with valuable insights into her unique approach. “I’m an actor’s director. I would know when my actors were filming if they weren't giving it to me. If we needed pacing, that's the beauty of having a director who is an actor as well,” she stated. Vivica emphasized her hands-on approach, often running lines with the cast to ensure a strong connection and delivery.
The executive producer, Tressa Smallwood, echoed these sentiments, highlighting the added value of working with a director who is also an accomplished actor. “You almost kind of get an acting coach because your director has been there,” Tressa explained. This synergy between the director and actors served to elevate the overall quality of the performance, creating a rich and dynamic storytelling experience.
Life after prison can be challenging, but Tonesa has been actively contributing to her community since her release. She works with women who are incarcerated or about to be released, helping them transition back into society. Through her support and guidance, Tonesa helps these women navigate reentry and rebuild their lives. “It's so important because when I came home from prison, I didn't have all the resources. So now I've learned about all these resources that are available to women. It was a lot of things for men but not for women.” she explained. “I love talking to the women. I love giving them hope because, coming from there, you don't have any hope. You don't believe in yourself. That's what we're here for. We got to pull our sisters up.”
It's crucial to emphasize the significance of Black women in the industry finally having the opportunity to share our stories in our own way. “Now we're having an era where especially Black women are sticking together and telling our stories. It's us telling our stories truthfully so that our audience will know our true story.” Vivica said.
“I think a lot of that also comes with being in a different time whereas Black women, we're able to be in ownership and in leadership positions where we have the say about the stories that we want to tell, and we didn't typically have that years ago,” Tressa adds.
The stories we tell and the voices we amplify have the power to shape our world, and the work of the First Lady of BMF: The Tonesa Welch Story team exemplifies this. Tonesa's journey from incarceration to community service is a testament to her resilience. It's a reminder that everyone has a story to tell and that those stories are richer and more powerful when they are told by the people who lived them. As we move forward, let’s continue to uplift and support the voices of Black women in the industry and celebrate the progress that has been made while acknowledging the work that still lies ahead.
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Feature image courtesy of First Lady of BMF: Tonesa Welch Story
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Celebrity Hairstylist Cliff Vmir On Social Media Success & How To Pivot Following Looming TikTok Ban
It’s the year 2025, newspaper ads, radio ads, billboards, posters - OUT. And you know what’s in? Social media. I mean, this clearly isn’t just a 2025 thing, but have you ever sat back and thought about the unprecedented rise of the “social media influencer?” Gone are the days when the marketing we relied on came from traditional sources. Everyday people have become some of the best marketers in today’s world.
You could even say, personality is the best marketing tool of today. xoNecole caught up with celebrity hairstylist and CEO of haircare line FEMMÉ, Cliff Vmir, who was ahead of the game as one of the first entrepreneurs to successfully use social media to promote his business.
Cliff started his hairstyling journey at 13, and by 15, he was already using Instagram to show off his skills. His talent, unique style, and effervescent personality earned him a strong social media presence. Taking Instagram by the reins while most of us were posting cringe-worthy selfies or blurry shots of a night out, his foresight has earned him some big celebrity clients, from Cardi B to Jazmine Sullivan, and a booming business.
While speaking to xoNecole, the “King of Hair” reflected on his rise to social media stardom.
“I would say I’m one of the world's first hairstylists to ever really take social media by storm and use it as a marketing tool at such a young age,” he tells us.
“No one was really utilizing Instagram for their business...But I wanted to use that as a showcase to show my work. I used my age as a good marketing tool, with me being 15 at the time and me really knowing how to do hair very well. My hashtag was #cliffvmirthe15yearoldstylist.”
The last few years have seen Instagram face new competition with the emergence of TikTok because of the variety of content available and how easy it is for creators to go viral and find fame. Cliff told us why TikTok is the app he’s loving right now.
“I just feel like TikTok has that algo of what Instagram used to have when Instagram first hit the scene. Like it is so easy to go viral or to get discovered...It's like, as long as you're staying consistent, you'll eventually fall in the algo,” he explains.
“People are making full-blown careers just off of TikTok. And it's just something about that TikTok Shop. It's its own kind of Amazon situation.” And it seems the feeling is mutual. Cliff recently teamed up with TikTok and spilled the tea on their partnership.
I just feel like TikTok has that algo of what Instagram used to have when Instagram first hit the scene. Like it is so easy to go viral or to get discovered...It's like, as long as you're staying consistent, you'll eventually fall in the algo
“I've been doing some partnership live streams with them…I've been up to the TikTok headquarters doing live streams and connecting with my fans and doing a whole live buying/shopping experience…they do things for the creators to keep the creators engaged,” he says.
The mega stylist recently went viral on TikTok with sales from his haircare line FEMMÉ skyrocketing.
“Right now, our store has sold over 23,000 units…I've never even sold this amount of units within a year. So like I said, TikTok is definitely one of those things that pushes you to the forefront,” he shares.
“And I'm just thankful...I'm thankful for the people over at TikTok who stand behind me, for the supporters on TikTok that are actually buying my product, and all my return customers as well.”
Time is running out for the clock app with the looming TikTok ban that’s set for January 19. What will this mean for creators, influencers, and everyday users?
Personally, I’m not looking forward to losing all my saved hair and makeup tutorials. And how will I plan my trip itineraries without checking “black girls + (city)” or “(city) + nightlife + black people”? #freetiktok
@iamcliffvmir Lol this my ish tho😭
Cliff shares his thoughts. “I just feel like we’re going to have to go back to the basics, which is Instagram. And I'm just going to really have to create a very strategic…But you'll just see me being more active everywhere,” he says.
“Of course, TikTok is where it is…I'm going to be active everywhere else - X, Facebook, and Instagram. I really hope they don't ban it, that would really hurt my feelings.”
#shadowbanthetiktokban, am I right? The “Hair OG” also gave us some tips and tricks for aspiring creators and entrepreneurs.
“If they're going to social media as a business, then just stay consistent, keep posting business things, and just make sure that you're keeping up with just certain trends and you're following people who you aspire to be…That's first,” he says.
“Number two is you should never be scared to get in front of the camera and make the content…It’s like a marketing tool for yourself. And then using the hashtags like #FYP and #viral, and hashtags that really can drive consumers to watch your videos.”
As a longtime celebrity hairstylist, Cliff knows all things hair-related. So what can we look forward to in 2025? A new look, perhaps? Here’s the hair trends predicted for this year.
“We're definitely going to see less wigs. We're going to see more leave-outs. We're going to see a lot more natural hair flourishing,” he reveals.
“I feel like that is really important. Yes, you can wear a wig, weave all day long, but what about the natural hair underneath? I kind of see some things remaining, though as far as things like closure installs. But hair is going to start being more natural again…It's going to revert to how it was in 2015 and 2016.”
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Feature image courtesy