

You know something that, personally, I don’t think deserves enough love and respect? Our cervix. It’s that small body part (approximately one inch long and wide) that is down at the neck (base) of our uterus. Its purpose? It helps to carry the sperm to our uterus. Not only that, but during our period, it’s where the menstrual blood flows out. Also, during labor, something known as a cervical mucus plug is released so that our cervix is able to dilate so that we’re able to give birth.
Yeah, as you can see, the cervix is something that’s pretty special. And that’s exactly why I wanted to take a few moments to share with you 10 tips that can help to keep yours in great shape. Let’s get into it.
1. Get Pap Smears
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If you’ve ever wondered, a pap smear is literally designed to test the cells of your cervix. Although, back when I was a late teen and in my early 20s, it was recommended that women get a pap smear on an annual basis, no matter what, many medical professionals are now saying that women between the ages of 21-65 only need them every three years (after having three pap tests in a row that come back fine).
An exception is if you have a family history of cervical cancer or if you participate in risky sexual behavior (like unprotected sex, especially if you’re not in an exclusive relationship). In those instances, your physician may recommend that you get tested every year. It’s also a good idea to keep in mind that if you’ve had a full hysterectomy, there is no need for a pap because you no longer have a cervix.
2. Learn As Much As You Can About the HPV Vaccine
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I’m pretty sure that you know at least a few details about HPV. Just to be sure, though, those three letters are the “nickname” for the human papillomavirus (HPV), which reportedly has 100 different “strains” (some reports even go as high as 150). Some of them are warts; some turn into different forms of cancer. While it should go on the record that (currently) most HPV infections do not turn into cancer, because certain genital warts can lead to cancer of the uterus and/or cervix, and since there are close to 14,000 new cases of cervical cancer a year, that’s why many medical professionals recommend that young children receive the HPV vaccine (although it should also go on record that you don’t have to be a virgin to get vaccinated and people who’ve never had sexual intercourse can also get HPV because it can be transmitted through the mouth and fingers). Honestly, this point right here could be its own article, so my two cents would be to study up on HPV and HPV vaccines as much as possible.
3. Eat Foods That Are High in Vitamin C
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Is your diet high in vitamin C? If not, keeping your cervix in good condition is one reason to consider adding more C into your system. That’s right. Studies show that vitamin C is a nutrient that lowers the risk of bladder, breast, and endometrial cancer, as well as cervical tumors. Foods that are high in vitamin C include citrus fruit, potatoes, tomatoes, berries, cruciferous vegetables, kiwi, and cantaloupe. You can also take a vitamin C supplement if you’d prefer to go that route.
4. Also, Eat Foods That Reduce Bodily Inflammation
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Personally, I find it to be both sad and accurate that one article defined the Westernized diet to be one that is full of “high in saturated and trans fats, added sugars, and sodium.” SMDH. A huge problem with all of this, as it specifically relates to what we’re discussing today, is that kind of stuff can lead to chronic inflammation, which ultimately ends up weakening your immune system while making it easier for the HPV infections to cause problems in your body. That’s why it’s smart to eat foods that lower the risk of inflammation, ones like salmon, cherries, dark leafy greens, olive oil, and almonds.
5. Avoid Whole Milk
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I think I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had whole milk. That’s because, while growing up, sweet acidophilus low-fat milk was all I saw in the fridge — and now? Oat milk is my jam. However, if whole milk is your personal fave, I want to encourage you to do some (additional) reading and research on it because, according to science, whole milk consumption can elevate your risk of certain cancers, including breast, bladder, lung, stomach and yes, cancer of the cervix. One reason is because dairy can help to trigger inflammation in your body, and as we’ve just discussed, inflammation can wreak all kinds of havoc if you’re not careful.
6. Drink Grapefruit Juice or Pineapple Juice
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Cervical mucus deserves its own article, too, because it plays such a critical role in fertility. For now, what I’ll say is if you’re trying to get pregnant in the near future, do some research on holistic approaches to keeping your cervical mucus (the fluid that both sustains and carries the sperm to your uterus so that you can conceive) healthy. One way that many health professionals who practice things like Chinese medicine recommend is that you drink grapefruit and/or pineapple juice on a regular basis. Long story short, it helps to keep your mucus in optimal condition for the sperm to thrive in.
7. Be Careful with Cervical Stimulation
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In the quest to experience as many different kinds of orgasms as possible, you might have heard of (or even tried) a “cervical orgasm”; it’s all about stimulating your cervix in order to receive a different type of pleasurable climax. And while it’s not about penetrating your cervix (that is pretty much impossible to do), you need to be proactively cautious while doing it. Why? Because if what’s stimulating your cervix has fluid that’s full of an STI/STD, it could still be transmitted to you.
8. Use Condoms
If you want to avoid getting pregnant or contracting an STI/STD, condoms are still the most effective way to do both. Now, I will say that you have to use them flawlessly for them to be 98 percent reliable as far as not getting pregnant goes, it’s around 90 percent effective at preventing HIV transmission and 85 percent effective when used “typically” (which means with a bit of room for error like it not being the best fit or it’s put on too late or taken off too early). Still, even though condoms aren’t perfect, they are a helluva lot better at keeping you from getting HPV than not using them, so — unless you’re in a mutually exclusive relationship where both of you test every 6-12 months, you need to wrap it up…each and every time that you “engage.”
9. Yes, Body Count Matters Here
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Speaking of wrapping up, while I know that it will probably be until the end of time that folks will debate if body counts actually matter or not when it comes to keeping your cervix healthy, the answer is…it does. There’s a good amount of medical intel out here that supports the fact that “the greater the list, the greater the risk.” That’s because the more people you’ve been with, the higher the possibility that you’ve been exposed to HPV. So, just to be on the safe side, choose to not see sex as merely “recreational”; choose your partners with caution. If for no other reason than your cervix needs you to.
10. Don’t Smoke
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If you were to Google any article on how to keep your cervix healthy, I’m willing to bet some pretty good money that it’s going to tell you not to smoke. One reason is because smoking is known to suppress your immune system, which can make you more susceptible to HPV. Plus, women who smoke are two times more likely to be diagnosed with cervical cancer than those who don’t. And what about weed? Well, studies are still ongoing about that. What I will say is smoke in the lungs is…smoke in the lungs, and anything that can lead to inflammation is ultimately problematic on some level. So, just puff, puff, pass in moderation, and stay up on new developments on the topic— for your cervix’s sake, aight? Cool.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak