You know something that, personally, I don’t think deserves enough love and respect? Our cervix. It’s that small body part (approximately one inch long and wide) that is down at the neck (base) of our uterus. Its purpose? It helps to carry the sperm to our uterus. Not only that, but during our period, it’s where the menstrual blood flows out. Also, during labor, something known as a cervical mucus plug is released so that our cervix is able to dilate so that we’re able to give birth.
Yeah, as you can see, the cervix is something that’s pretty special. And that’s exactly why I wanted to take a few moments to share with you 10 tips that can help to keep yours in great shape. Let’s get into it.
1. Get Pap Smears
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If you’ve ever wondered, a pap smear is literally designed to test the cells of your cervix. Although, back when I was a late teen and in my early 20s, it was recommended that women get a pap smear on an annual basis, no matter what, many medical professionals are now saying that women between the ages of 21-65 only need them every three years (after having three pap tests in a row that come back fine).
An exception is if you have a family history of cervical cancer or if you participate in risky sexual behavior (like unprotected sex, especially if you’re not in an exclusive relationship). In those instances, your physician may recommend that you get tested every year. It’s also a good idea to keep in mind that if you’ve had a full hysterectomy, there is no need for a pap because you no longer have a cervix.
2. Learn As Much As You Can About the HPV Vaccine
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I’m pretty sure that you know at least a few details about HPV. Just to be sure, though, those three letters are the “nickname” for the human papillomavirus (HPV), which reportedly has 100 different “strains” (some reports even go as high as 150). Some of them are warts; some turn into different forms of cancer. While it should go on the record that (currently) most HPV infections do not turn into cancer, because certain genital warts can lead to cancer of the uterus and/or cervix, and since there are close to 14,000 new cases of cervical cancer a year, that’s why many medical professionals recommend that young children receive the HPV vaccine (although it should also go on record that you don’t have to be a virgin to get vaccinated and people who’ve never had sexual intercourse can also get HPV because it can be transmitted through the mouth and fingers). Honestly, this point right here could be its own article, so my two cents would be to study up on HPV and HPV vaccines as much as possible.
3. Eat Foods That Are High in Vitamin C
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Is your diet high in vitamin C? If not, keeping your cervix in good condition is one reason to consider adding more C into your system. That’s right. Studies show that vitamin C is a nutrient that lowers the risk of bladder, breast, and endometrial cancer, as well as cervical tumors. Foods that are high in vitamin C include citrus fruit, potatoes, tomatoes, berries, cruciferous vegetables, kiwi, and cantaloupe. You can also take a vitamin C supplement if you’d prefer to go that route.
4. Also, Eat Foods That Reduce Bodily Inflammation
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Personally, I find it to be both sad and accurate that one article defined the Westernized diet to be one that is full of “high in saturated and trans fats, added sugars, and sodium.” SMDH. A huge problem with all of this, as it specifically relates to what we’re discussing today, is that kind of stuff can lead to chronic inflammation, which ultimately ends up weakening your immune system while making it easier for the HPV infections to cause problems in your body. That’s why it’s smart to eat foods that lower the risk of inflammation, ones like salmon, cherries, dark leafy greens, olive oil, and almonds.
5. Avoid Whole Milk
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I think I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had whole milk. That’s because, while growing up, sweet acidophilus low-fat milk was all I saw in the fridge — and now? Oat milk is my jam. However, if whole milk is your personal fave, I want to encourage you to do some (additional) reading and research on it because, according to science, whole milk consumption can elevate your risk of certain cancers, including breast, bladder, lung, stomach and yes, cancer of the cervix. One reason is because dairy can help to trigger inflammation in your body, and as we’ve just discussed, inflammation can wreak all kinds of havoc if you’re not careful.
6. Drink Grapefruit Juice or Pineapple Juice
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Cervical mucus deserves its own article, too, because it plays such a critical role in fertility. For now, what I’ll say is if you’re trying to get pregnant in the near future, do some research on holistic approaches to keeping your cervical mucus (the fluid that both sustains and carries the sperm to your uterus so that you can conceive) healthy. One way that many health professionals who practice things like Chinese medicine recommend is that you drink grapefruit and/or pineapple juice on a regular basis. Long story short, it helps to keep your mucus in optimal condition for the sperm to thrive in.
7. Be Careful with Cervical Stimulation
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In the quest to experience as many different kinds of orgasms as possible, you might have heard of (or even tried) a “cervical orgasm”; it’s all about stimulating your cervix in order to receive a different type of pleasurable climax. And while it’s not about penetrating your cervix (that is pretty much impossible to do), you need to be proactively cautious while doing it. Why? Because if what’s stimulating your cervix has fluid that’s full of an STI/STD, it could still be transmitted to you.
8. Use Condoms
If you want to avoid getting pregnant or contracting an STI/STD, condoms are still the most effective way to do both. Now, I will say that you have to use them flawlessly for them to be 98 percent reliable as far as not getting pregnant goes, it’s around 90 percent effective at preventing HIV transmission and 85 percent effective when used “typically” (which means with a bit of room for error like it not being the best fit or it’s put on too late or taken off too early). Still, even though condoms aren’t perfect, they are a helluva lot better at keeping you from getting HPV than not using them, so — unless you’re in a mutually exclusive relationship where both of you test every 6-12 months, you need to wrap it up…each and every time that you “engage.”
9. Yes, Body Count Matters Here
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Speaking of wrapping up, while I know that it will probably be until the end of time that folks will debate if body counts actually matter or not when it comes to keeping your cervix healthy, the answer is…it does. There’s a good amount of medical intel out here that supports the fact that “the greater the list, the greater the risk.” That’s because the more people you’ve been with, the higher the possibility that you’ve been exposed to HPV. So, just to be on the safe side, choose to not see sex as merely “recreational”; choose your partners with caution. If for no other reason than your cervix needs you to.
10. Don’t Smoke
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If you were to Google any article on how to keep your cervix healthy, I’m willing to bet some pretty good money that it’s going to tell you not to smoke. One reason is because smoking is known to suppress your immune system, which can make you more susceptible to HPV. Plus, women who smoke are two times more likely to be diagnosed with cervical cancer than those who don’t. And what about weed? Well, studies are still ongoing about that. What I will say is smoke in the lungs is…smoke in the lungs, and anything that can lead to inflammation is ultimately problematic on some level. So, just puff, puff, pass in moderation, and stay up on new developments on the topic— for your cervix’s sake, aight? Cool.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
So…I wanna say that it must’ve been when I was either in the seventh or eighth grade that I participated in a series of etiquette classes.
As antiquated as that might sound to some these days and although I don’t remember a ton about them, what I am forever grateful for is learning how to properly set a table and what utensils to use at big formal dinners. When you’re a kid, you think stuff like that is totally unnecessary. Oh, but grow up, move in some circles and you’d be surprised how much random tips will hold you down in a pinch.
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
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Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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