When Jayla and Tony Henry first crossed paths, it was love at first sight. While attending a homecoming tailgate party at the University of Michigan in 2017, Jayla took a bold approach in introducing herself to Tony, manifesting that he would be her future husband. “I’m big on energy, and Jayla and I instantly vibed,” Tony tells xoNecole. “Her confidence spoke to me when she walked up to me at a tailgate years ago. She just straight-up told me I was going to be her husband.”
Seven months later, the two were married.
Whether you call it fate or divine timing, there’s no denying the magnetic connection that the Dallas-based couple share with each other and, most notably, their online community. Today, Jayla, 29, and Tony, 30, have stolen the hearts of over one million fans and supporters across the internet with their infectious love story and family TikTok videos with their two children, Braylon and Nyla.
Balancing their popular social media platforms with the responsibilities that come with parenthood and everyday life might appear effortless from a distance, but the couple understands the importance of taking moments to pause and prioritize their self-care practices in tandem. Because of this, the two are emphasizing their commitment to personal care by joining Dove Men+Care in their new #SelfCareforAll campaign that aims to remove the stigma around men’s self-care and how couples can embrace self-care together.
According to research commissioned by Dove Men+Care, 70% of men do not take part in self-care practices. With this statistic in mind, Tony hopes to use his platform to show that self-care isn’t exclusive to women and destigmatize the practice amongst men to show its benefits to everyone.
“It’s disappointing seeing men shy away from caring for themselves,” he says. “I’m fortunate to have a wife and a circle that supports me to be my best self. These stigmas on men feel outdated; it’s up to us men to remind each other why a little TLC in your life isn’t just for the ladies.”
Influencers Jayla and Tony Henry know the power of engaging in self-care activities as a couple.
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Black men deserve to indulge in their self-care needs. In fact, studies show that men who engage in self-care are 44% more likely to support their families and communities compared to those who do not. When Black men prioritize their well-being, it allows them to be more present and effective in supporting their friends and family — which benefits our community as a whole.
For Jayla, engaging in self-care activities with her husband not only enhances their relationship but also fosters better awareness of each other's needs and encourages mutual support. And it doesn’t hurt that it ups the attention levels, too. “We all know it’s important to prioritize our physical and mental well-being, and I love how he prioritizes that for himself and for others,” she says.
“By knowing when to prioritize himself, he gives me the same grace. His dedication to taking care of himself shines through in how he shows care to me and our children. Having a partner that cares for themselves is (I’m going to just say it) sexy!” Jayla adds.
xoNecole spoke with the influencer couple to discuss the importance of men's self-care, Jayla and Tony’s shared wellness practices, how they’re passing down self-care practices to their children, and more.
The #SelfCareforAll campaign emphasizes the importance of men's self-care. Tony, how has your self-care routine helped you to show up for Jayla and your family? Can you share some specific aspects of your routine?
Tony Henry: Dove Men+Care and their #SelfCareforAll campaign is an incredible effort. I love how the brand is encouraging men to be more honest about self-care. Self-care is critical – for men overall and especially Black men. As brothers, it’s important to prioritize our well-being so we can show up for ourselves and our circle.
I like to be intentional about my days, so I start my mornings off by going to the gym and winding down with a post-workout shower. It’s the time I tend to my body and my mind before the day begins, and helps me show up with a clear head.
Many people believe in the concept that "couples who engage in healthy habits together stay together." How have you both incorporated shared self-care habits into your daily lives and how has this impacted your relationship?
Jayla Henry: We’ve been experimenting with shared self-care rituals and setting time aside to do our night-time routines together. It seems so simple, but when days are so hectic juggling work, kids, and life in general, having these joint self-care moments allows us to breathe and reset. I firmly believe it also strengthens our relationship since we’re more in tune with each other’s needs and can hold each other accountable to take care of one another.
"I firmly believe it also strengthens our relationship since we’re more in tune with each other’s needs and can hold each other accountable to take care of one another."
Tony: I second this. And we also pass down self-care to Braylon and Nyla. I’m not a barber, but I cut my son’s hair. This is quality time that also makes sure he feels good about himself. As a Black man, there’s a special relationship between conversations and lessons that are shared during this experience, and it’s a highlight for me.
Are there any challenges you've faced in integrating self-care into your relationship and individually, and how have you overcome them?
Jayla: As a woman, mother, wife, entrepreneur, and more, I feel I barely have time for myself. It can be easy for us to feel guilty for “putting ourselves first.” But self-care isn’t selfish – it’s something that Dove Men+Care reinforced to us when asking us to join #SelfCareforAll. In research they’ve done on self-care, they found just how transformative self-care can be.
Like Tony noted, I am fortunate to have a partner and a circle that encourages me to invest in myself both physically and mentally.
What advice do you have for individuals and couples seeking to build a strong and connected relationship, considering your own journey?
Tony: Relationships are like anything else, they take commitment, patience, understanding, and so much more. Like self-care, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all that people can implement. As the age-old saying goes: make sure you are loving yourself and who you are before you seek out someone else’s love.
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert