When Tiffany Haddish was 13, she was put into foster care due to her mother's inability to take care of the young actress and her siblings. After a tragic accident left Tiffany's mother handicapped and mentally ill, Tiffany was forced to fend for herself against bullies and predators.
Tiffany's hardship followed her throughout her high school career, where she was virtually illiterate and had to plagiarize and copy the work of her classmates to earn her degree. Fast forward years later and the same woman who couldn't read words longer than two or three letters is now the first black woman to gross more than one billion dollars in the box office.
Tiffany Haddish is a reminder that we can accomplish every one of our dreams in spite of where we come from. This week's episode of The Red Table Talk featured a candid conversation between Tiffany and Jada Pinkett Smith, who have similar backgrounds. Both actresses were at risk of being trapped by their surroundings and becoming products of their environment, but were faced with very different outcomes.
"I thought I was gonna be a baby mama. I thought I was gonna be a baby mama with, like, five kids, four baby daddies, like, collect a county check."
Tiffany told Jada that after her mom had been thrown through the front window of her car in a traumatic vehicular accident, she or her mother were never quite the same, and her journey would only get harder with time.
"I remember being at the hospital and the doctor saying 'Your mom she'll never be the same you're gonna have to help her a lot more now.' So, she wasn't able to do a lot of things. So basically everything she had taught me up to that point, I was teaching her. But she became very abusive and violent, and never came back to being my mom. She's somebody else."
Although she had to develop tough skin to deal with life after she was put into foster care, you need more than that to become one of the most highly publicized entertainers in the game. That takes heart, and that's something that Tiffany has a whole lot of.
Thanks to the positive reinforcement of adults in Tiffany's life, she was able to overcome the deep-seated insecurity that had been embedded in her since childhood.
"My step-dad he used to tell me 'you stupid', then my grandma would be saying I was stupid and then my aunties would tell me i'm stupid, and then my mama would say I'm stupid. At that point in time in my life, anytime somebody said something to me, I would take it literal that I was stupid. So I didn't really put forth a lot of effort to try to learn how to read. It was difficult already, and if I'm stupid then what's the point? I'ma be a baby mama anyway. I already take care of kids, what I need to know how to read for? I know what hot dogs look like, I know what rice look like and I know how to cook that. I know how to use a measure cup, I know numbers so, it was like to me, not necessary."
It wasn't until a misunderstanding with a co-worker in her late teens that she realized her gift and chose to pursue her passion with rigor despite her troubled personal life. Tiffany told her Girls Trip co-star that her road to fame had not been easy, but every tear was worth it.
"Everything I've been through has prepared me for this journey."
When we look at celebrities, it's easy to imagine their silver spoons, but Tiffany reminds us that she's not any different from any other black woman in this world who has experienced trauma and disappointment. Her bank account doesn't care that she came from a less than perfect background because she has the hustle to back it up.
The easiest thing you can do is let your situation determine the height of your success. Although Tiffany suffered through unimaginable horrors, she survived to tell the tale and made a couple of bank rolls in the process.
In an emotional moment, Tiffany shared that her mother was recently released from her mental institution and is now being taken care of by the best doctors. The actress said that one of the best moments in her life was when her mother told her how proud she was. Tiffany knew that she wouldn't have been able to experience that moment if she had given up prematurely.
In the episode, Jada and Tiffany both mentioned that in their childhood, they were afraid of becoming statistics. Luckily, with the increased number of sisters with degrees and boss business chicks of color, the status quo has changed. Soon, we'll be able to model our statistics around women like these two actresses, who came from hardship and succeeded in spite of it.
Tiffany is a reminder that no matter what your history may be, you are given a new opportunity each day to create a future that's beyond your imagination.
Who's cutting onions in here? To watch the full episode, click here.
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From the day they met, food has always played a role in their relationship, and working together in the food industry is what we call a full circle moment. Learn more about Bryant and Daniella’s story of finding love with one another.
How they met.
Bryant: We met at a mutual clients’ house. She was doing the lady hair, and I was cooking for the lady. The client sent her downstairs to record me while I was cooking to, I guess, see what I was cooking, and I caught her recording, but we didn't talk. I caught her recording, we laughed it off, and she went about her day.
So I guess that was the first thing that made us interact with each other. A few months down the line, I think she posted something [on social media]. I hopped in her DM and responded to it, and then we decided to just meet up and hang out. I looked at her as an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. She don’t need nothing. I don’t need nothing. It's good to hang with people who don't need nothing from you.
When we linked up, our chemistry was just so soft and just so nice. She is a great person, but after meeting up with her [for the] first time, she went back to Miami. She came back [to Atlanta], and we just kicked it off that next weekend, and ever since then, we've been locked in.
Daniella: That same client had flew me back in so I knew I had to come up here for work. But I told him that we'll meet up and [go] on a date and see each other again. When that happened, everything else was history. It just happened organically. It wasn’t forced or anything.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
First impressions.
Bryant: I knew for a fact for her to come downstairs and try to record me, I knew that she was brave, and that said a lot about her, because I barely even talk when I'm cooking for my clients. So you have to talk to somebody for them to feel comfortable to play with you, or do certain things. I feel like the client sent her downstairs because she knew that she's an outspoken, bubbly type of person who don't mind laughing it off if she gets caught doing it.
When she came back to Atlanta, she booked me to cook for her family. So while I was cooking for her in the kitchen, the whole time she was in there talking to me. It was like a date in the kitchen, and I cooked her food. Once the food was laid out, I just left. We had a great conversation when I was cooking for her, and also when she came downstairs and tried to record me.
Daniella: I was impressed how he was multitasking because I was asking him deep, interesting questions, and he was cooking the food, and he was still answering my questions. But I was in a relationship at that time, so I wasn't really in tune. It was no emotions. But when I came back and flew in to work, we met with each other.
He came and picked me up from the hotel and we drove around Atlanta, sightseeing. We went to the African club. So when he came downstairs, I was like okay, you not gonna hug me, you not gonna say nothing? He was shocked and we stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
We stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
The one.
Daniella: When we first linked up, he took me around Atlanta. He was soft and gentle. He was a gentleman. He opened the door for me and I never had nobody open the door. He opened the door every single time I was going in and getting out the car, and when we went to that restaurant. I was like, [there’s] something about him, and he was just nice, calm and patient. So I knew he was a little different from what I'm used to.
Bryant: [I knew she was the one by] how she cared so much. She didn't really know me like that. She knew of me, but she cared so much about me. When we first met, she would lay on me and just relax. For someone who just wants to relax on you, that says a lot about them towards you. It wasn't like I had to prove myself and she didn’t have to prove herself with me either. It wasn't nothing like that. We were willing to take whatever came with it. But it just was really a break. It was like the best me meeting a woman because I didn't try.
Any other woman, I might be trying to dress up, take her to this place, I did not try at all. I picked her up and I actually thought that she wasn't gonna go on the date with me because of her status and my status. I'm such a laid back homey dude and she's from Miami. I thought she would be on the City Girls, you gotta do this, do that. But she wasn't. She was the total opposite. She was a homebody, chill, like me.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
Marriage advice for couples.
Bryant: Work together. Communication, put your mind together.
Daniella: And keep your family out your business.
Bryant: Keep it private please. Y'all work it out first. When y'all make sure it's solidified, then you tell them, or let them find out on their own. Privacy is the most valuable thing.
Daniella: And date each other because people get married and they stop doing the things that they did to get you, or stop doing the things that they did while they were in a relationship with you, before y'all got married. No, do the same thing. For me, I get bored easy, and I think he knows that. So just keep it spicy. Keep it interesting.
Bryant: We like spontaneous stuff like last-minute trips, trying different foods, going out the country just off a spur of a moment. You gotta make it fun. Don't just make it all business. And I think one person out of the relationship needs to take the initiative to make sure their partner is relaxing and at peace. A lot of people carry functional depression to where they’re functional, like we're doing this right now, but they can be going through something.
I don't think it's male or female. I think whichever one, the other partner should notice it and work with their partner to get through whatever they get through, like, for postpartum depression and stuff. That's something that most men don't even really know exist, but that's something when she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her.
She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much. So you got to be considerate of your mate's mental state and their mental well-being, because when it's gone, it's gone and it takes a lot to get it back, so I think that's important.
When she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her. She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much.
If you see something not right with your spouse, help them get help. It's okay for them to talk to a therapist by themselves, or it's okay for them to talk to somebody, but don't just sit there and let them go into this decline and self-destruction. I think that's the most important, because sometimes she be overwhelmed, and I have to be that person to hold her up. And then sometimes I'm overwhelmed. To her, baby, I don't want to do this no more. She's like, you gonna do this. We gonna do this. And she reminds me who I am. I remind her who she is, and we come back feeling more motivated.
Daniella: I think business owners should date business owners because they understand your hustle, your hunger. They understand when you can have a day where you make $0 and you have a day when you make $1,000. But I feel like if you dating someone who is in corporate America, and you a business owner, there's going to be a lot of friction, a lot of tension, and I just feel like I want to date someone that has the same drive as me.
Because I don't want to feel like I'm trying to build a bear, build a man, and I have to pull you and drag you, or just being with somebody who got they self together. For instance, my last relationship. I won't say I was the breadwinner, but I was kind of established, and I felt like I was sleeping with the enemy. I was growing fast and I wasn't stagnant. I was trying to get to the next level. He started to be jealous of me and I feel like a lot of women deal with men trying to be jealous of them. Men also have ego issues where they don't really want their woman making a certain amount of money or making more money than them.
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