This review contains spoilers for the plot of Thor: Love & Thunder
It took me three tries to watch Thor: Love and Thunder in the waking nightmare that is the Covid/Monkeypox pandemic era. The two screenings I attempted to attend, full of people wearing Thor’s viking helmet but no masks over their noses and mouths, may very well be my villain origin story.
On opening day, I climbed the stairs to the top of Hollywood’s regal and expansive El Capitan theater in the middle of the afternoon and sat in the middle of the very last row in what felt like acres away from the sparse (but still unmasked?!!) crowd of moviegoers, and watched til the end of the credits, disappointed by the journey.
That is to say, I can relate to the movie’s villain, Gorr.
The film begins with Gorr (Christian Bale) and his young daughter, the last survivors of their people, trekking through the desert, desperate, wounded, starving. Gorr’s daughter dies on the journey and a distraught Gorr unwittingly stumbles into the valley of his people’s god. A devout worshiper despite the total annihilation of his people and his daughter, Gorr bows before his god and begs for answers for his people’s destruction. The god, gorging himself on fruit in the lap of luxury, is dismissive, even laughing at Gorr and his people’s fate. “The gods will use you but they will not help you,” Gorr learns firsthand. The Necrosword, the only weapon strong enough to kill gods, chooses Gorr for its mission, and in grasping the Necrosword and murdering his god, Gorr the God Butcher is born.
So, yeah, in a pandemic, where 6.4 million people have been disappeared by a deadly virus, due in large part to the incompetence, greed, and apathy of the people in power, I’d say Gorr the God Butcher is a villain for our times. And Bale plays the role with heartbreaking sincerity. But a successfully told story needs more than timely themes and great acting.
Co-written and directed by Taika Waititi, Thor: Love and Thunder is like watching a bunch of unrelated plot lines swirling around in a blender without enough water to make it stick. There are at least three beginnings to the film before the plot gets moving. And after slogging through recycled gags and tedious exposition via voice over narration from the Kronian warrior Korg, played by Waititi, it becomes obvious that this is a director who loves the sound of his own voice. But what he’s trying to say with all. those. words. is much less clear.
In Gorr’s first battle against Thor (Chris Hemsworth), The Mighty Thor (Natalie Portman’s Jane) and Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson), Gorr starts losing badly and decides instead to kidnap the children of New Asgard to lure Thor and his ax, Stormbreaker, into a trap. Gorr keeps the children in cages and then Thor makes a “kids in a cage” joke. Is this supposed to be some commentary on the inhumane caging of children happening at the US border? If so, what’s the joke?
In a particularly disturbing scene during the movie’s climax, Thor ventures alone into the shadow realm and imbues the kidnapped children with the powers of Thor (on a temporary basis) so they can fight off the shadow monsters while he fights Gorr. The children’s eyes glow and electricity shoots from their fingers as they kill the monsters. In a truly unhinged moment, a child screams in delight as she swings around her teddy bear (also possessed with the powers of Thor) to kill a bunch of shadow monsters. I suppose that was meant to be funny too.
Just before Thor gave those children superpowers to kill, it looked like he was praying over them, like many in America pray over their kids before sending them out into a world where they can be gunned down in school, at a parade, or by police. But instead of a forcefield or some kind of hedge of protection, Thor empowers them to kill and we in the audience are supposed to cheer at their violence.
In one of the film’s many beginnings detailing the life of Thor, we see Thor as an infant, strapped to his mother’s chest as she swan dives into the heat of battle, an exhilarated Baby Thor screaming along in delight. The film ends with the kidnapped children reunited with their families in New Asgard and happily training for their next battle. But Waititi doesn’t seem to grasp that this is a really bad thing! On the contrary, the future of New Asgard, Thor says, is now secured.
I guess, instead of ending the harm against children, the solution is to teach them to kill. For an America that sells bulletproof backpacks, refuses to ban assault weapons, and lets the military recruit for its ranks on school grounds, this is the superhero movie we deserve.
It’s not all terrible. There are a few laugh out loud moments and as many nods and winks at the existence of queerness that Disney would allow. And Portman’s Jane/The Mighty Thor and her terminal cancer journey are the compelling heart of the film, though her waning mortality seems to only be a device to speed up Thor's growth into an adult who knows how to love. But, I’mma be honest: I came to see King Valkyrie licking a sword and I blinked at the wrong time during a crucial fight scene and I missed it. In fact, King Valkyrie is MIA far too often for my taste. When she’s not on the screen, I just want to know where she is. When she is on screen, I want to know why she’s not doing, saying, being more. Show us Valkyrie's lesbian love story or at least show her meeting Africans in the Diaspora and learning what box braids are, you cowards!
Who Taught Valkyrie about box braids?? Tessa Thompson as Valkyrie in Thor: Love & ThunderMarvel / Disney
As soon as Thor arrives in New Asgard, King Valkyrie all but relinquishes control to him, deferring to his incessant need for spot-light stealing and speech-making in the wake of New Asgard’s children being stolen. For the climax battle, King Valkyrie is out of commission, bested by Gorr the God Butcher with Zeus’ lightning bolt. Instead, Jane gets the triumphant moment to save Thor, on King Valkyrie's faithful Pegasus steed, no less. After her star turn in the much better, actually revolutionary Thor: Ragnarok, (there was a revolution of the enslaved! The imperialist empire of old Asgard was destroyed!) it’s even more obvious how wasted Thompson’s talents were here to make room for Jane and Thor’s love story.
And cool, the main message is that Thor chose his love for Jane over vengeance and fighting. But the moment Jane succumbs to cancer, turns to gold dust, and floats away to Vallahar to rest with Asgard’s other dead gods, Thor just gets right back to fighting and war.
The final (pre-credits) scene is of Thor and his newly adopted goddess-preteen Love (Gorr’s resurrected daughter) diving into battle, side by side, mirroring his own introduction into battle as an infant with his mom. But in a world where even god-children can’t just be kids and grow up in peace, what is there to love?
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Featured Image by Marvel / DisneyRELATED
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Take partner, for example. People who are engaged in the same activity are considered to be partners. Those who dance and/or play together are considered to be partners. Individuals who are engaged in a romantic relationship are considered to be partners. Folks who are on the same side are considered to be partners. And yes, another word for spouse is — wait for it — partner. So, what in the world is wrong with the word “partner” as it relates to marriage? According to the dictionary, absolutely nothing — and I’ll go with that resource over some bitter TikToker any day of the week.
Thankfully, not all of social media is lost when it comes to knowing the meaning and origin of words. Take one of my favorite platforms, Beleaf in Fatherhood, for instance. Although I have watched this Black family-friendly platform for a few years now, Glen’s post last month that was entitled, “Why I Left YouTube and Moved To A Farm,” reminded me that one of the things I enjoy so much about the channel is how “word intentional” everyone on there tends (or at least tries) to be.
This definitely includes when Glen also recently posted a video entitled, “She Has to Make Home Cooked Meals in the Hotel Room” — one that pretty much praised his wife for close to 12 minutes straight. In it, he said something that let me know that he knew exactly what he was saying — and why.
And y’all, if you’re someone who happens to be married, I think the same word could really breathe new life (and perspective) into your marriage as well. That is, if you allow it to.
Married Couples Aren’t Always Gonna Agree…And That Is Okay. Beneficial, Even.
GiphyAt the end of this article, I will post the second video that I just referred to, mostly because I think it’s a beautiful thing to watch for yourself. However, the main thing that Glen said that inspired this post is, as he was paying attention to all of the steps that his wife was taking to make not-just-any-ole’ pancakes for the family vs. what his method would probably be, he said, “Although we don’t agree, we are aligned.”
Listen. LISTEN. As someone who’s been working with married couples for two decades at this point, that got me right in the gut. Lawd, how I wish that more people would get that a healthy marriage doesn’t mean that you always have to AGREE (have the same views or emotions about things)…the goal should be to make sure that you always remain ALIGNED, though.
And why shouldn’t agreement be the main priority? To me, I look at agreement in a marriage a lot like I look at perfectionism for individuals — it’s simply unrealistic. Just because you selected someone to “do life with” or, as Scripture calls it (Genesis 2:24-25), “become one” with, that doesn’t mean that you and your spouse are identical — and that alone means that the two of you will not agree all of the time.
In fact, there is plenty of science out here that says that disagreements and conflict can be good for your personal and relational development because they can do the following things:
- Conflict can help you see things from another perspective
- Conflict can teach you how to become a better listener
- Conflict can show you where you need to brush up on your communication skills
- Conflict can help you to master controlling your emotions (and your tongue)
- Conflict can show you how to set and respect boundaries
- Conflict can reveal where you need to show humility (like when to apologize, for example)
- Conflict can help you to become a better problem solver
- Conflict can teach you the art of negotiation and compromise
- Conflict can show you how to see the bigger picture
- Conflict can reveal where you need to mature and evolve as a person
Yeah, anyone who thinks that a relationship should be conflict-free is not only someone who is living in a dream world; they also tend to be a great example of where I am coming from when I say, “Many people are not looking for a PARTNER; they are looking for an AUDIENCE.” Meaning, that they don’t want someone who is going to help them, sometimes through conflicts and disagreements, to become a better individual; they simply want a “yes” person who is going to go along with what they say all of the time. SMDH.
Okay, but what about another Scripture that asks, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3 — NKJV)
Good question, and to that, I will say, if you’re in a serious relationship and you’re considering getting married soon, you mostly definitely need to be in agreement when it comes to some core things like your value systems; how you see family; if you have similar goals and insights when it comes to finances; if you esteem marriage in the same way; boundaries that need to be set with each other and other people (including and sometimes especially family); how a household should be ran; if you see the future in a similar way and honestly, if you’re on similar pages about religion/faith (or at least can you live in harmony if your belief systems are different — check out “6 Things To Consider Before Getting Into An Interfaith Relationship”).
By ignoring how important it is to have similar views on matters as big as these, you can end up being in unnecessary conflict — and yes, as much as a home can start off in peace and with a sense of harmony, the better. After all, “until death parts us” is a really (REALLY) long time.
Beyond that, though, again, it’s okay to not always agree. The goal, instead, should be alignment.
Let’s explore the difference for a bit.
You Can Disagree in a Productive Way…When Your Ultimate Goal Is to Be ALIGNED
GiphyI wouldn’t be surprised at all if the only time when you actually hear about alignment is when folks are talking about the universe or planets (which basically means that they appear to bein a straight line). However, when it comes to what we are discussing today, when two people are aligned, alignment means “to bring into cooperation or agreement with a particular group, party, cause, etc.” In other words, being aligned doesn’t “just happen” — mutual effort is required.
That’s actually why I like the word so much because, literally, cooperate means “to work or act together or jointly for a common purpose or benefit.”
Yep, when married folks want a peaceful dynamic, they strive to cooperate with one another for the sake of a common purpose or benefit…even if there are some disagreements along the way. And, in order to do that, they have to remember how important it is to be aligned with one another — and then be willing to put in the necessary effort.
And how does that transpire? Well, here are some synonyms for align that particularly stand out to me:
1. Ally:
Allies “unite formally,” and boy, are there times when I wonder if my clients are allies or enemies. SMDH. When two individuals have both decided that, no matter what, they are going to stand as a united front, they really can get through just about anything. Period.
2. Troubleshoot:
How cool is it that “troubleshoot” is a synonym for align? I adore that because troubleshooting is all about discovering ways to eliminate problems or malfunctions — yes, even in a relationship. And here’s the thing about troubleshooting: oftentimes, you have to be willing to try several different approaches and methods, all the while BEING PATIENT until you find what works for the both of you or for the problem overall…even if that means following your spouse when you would prefer to do your own thing (follow is another synonym, by the way).
3. Adjust:
People who can make adjustments are people who are flexible; they are not so rigid in their way of thinking that they aren’t willing to shift in order to reach a common goal. So many people can’t make their marriage work or last due to this one necessary skill alone.
4. Accommodate:
One of my favorite definitions of accommodate is “to make suitable.” When you watch the video of Yvette making the pancakes for her family, because they are in a hotel in Mexico, she has to make some accommodations, i.e., make some adjustments, in order to get the job done. Would it be easier at home? Yes, yet the objective is to do her best with what she has. Mature individuals get that this should be the ultimate objective of marriage too. Be willing to make accommodations. Again, mutually so.
5. Sympathize:
“Sharing in the feelings” of your partner is what sympathizing is all about. Hmph. You’d be amazed by how much peace can come to a stressful situation if both people are simply willing to understand how the other individual feels about it — and then validate that emotion.
6. Mend:
“Mend” is such a bomb word for marriage. That’s because mending is about making things whole, repairing what’s been damaged, removing defects, making progress, and setting things right. I know far too many people who married conflict-makers instead of menders. Singles, if you are tiptoeing in on this, if you are not with someone who displays very clear “mending” characteristics — you need to totally reconsider the relationship. TRUST ME.
7. Improve:
I adore this word as well because Glen said that although he and Yvette may not always have the same views or emotions on things (agree) because they are aligned, they seek out how to improve matters and each other — and improve means “to bring into a more desirable or excellent condition.” You know what this means? Sometimes, a disagreement, when done well, can actually make things better than before.
When mutual respect, patience, and a desire to make things even “more excellent” is what the husband and wife want, that is exactly what can happen.
____
And all of this is why I say that if married couples are willing to apply the word “align” to their relationship, there can be so much more understanding, growth, and even love that can take place — because when you get that you don’t have to be the same, you just have to ultimately desire similar things for the relationship…you can be so much more effective in your approach.
So, if you’re ready for a healthier dynamic: GET INTO ALIGNMENT.
A game-changer, for the better, indeed.
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