In 1999 when Sisqó dropped his hit single "Thong Song" just a day shy of the new millenium, it had people giving the platinum-haired R&B crooner the side eye. The video featured bikini models dancing in colorful swimsuits of various bottom styles, while the former Dru Hill group member belted out his appreciation for women's bodies, particularly when wearing a thong. During a time when full-bottomed undies were all the rage, this opened up a discussion as to whether it was socially acceptable to rock a barely there panty in public.
Fast forward a decade and a half later, and the thin fabric better known as "butt floss" has become a staple part of a woman's wardrobe. Walk into your nearest Victoria's Secret and you'll find over-sized photos of models in their barely there lacy underwear. It certainly gives off a certain sex appeal, but the question often arises as to whether the often over-priced pieces of fabric are used more for pleasure or if they actually have a greater purpose. During casual conversations with friends, I was surprised to find out that a lot of us could do without ever wearing a thong again!
Do women really love thongs?
From woman to woman, the feelings about the sexy undies are split right down the middle, no pun intended. But what about this choice of underwear makes a woman feel sexy and wanted? What is it about these unmentionables that make us stare in our mirrors and say, “hot dayum!" no matter what side of comfort we stand on?
We spoke to a few women about their experience with the magical panties and they dished on why they choose to either wear thongs or why they vowed to never wear them again, as well as a comfortable alternative to wearing the intimate string.
Thong Love:
“I started wearing [thongs] to make my husband happy. I thought they were terribly uncomfortable, initially. Shortly thereafter, I realized that I was never picking at my underwear. I never had underwear lines and my butt just generally looked better. And even through pregnancy, I never went back to regular panties!" ~ MammaBear Brown
“Love them [thongs]! They are basically all I wear. I hate panty lines and thongs just make my butt look a lot better!" ~ Sharontina Brightman
“I love them because I hate seeing my underwear outline underneath my skirts or dresses. They are comfortable and so sexy for me." ~ Trudean Wright-Haye
“Wearing a thong to me is comfortable when wearing the right size. I like the fact that you can wear clothes and not see a panty line; I like not having to worry about regular underwear riding my butt." ~Amber Lanaee
Stuck in the Middle:
“A thong is a fashion thing, not a sexy thing. Sexy is a way of being. Sexy is how you wear it not what your wearing. A woman can be sexy if she wears boxers, boy shorts, briefs, or nothing at all. But fashion is how you put it on. At times they may be uncomfortable, but thongs give you an invisible look under clingy garments making your fashion statement more flawless." ~ Shay Monroe
I just know I was terrified when I first had to wear one back in high school as part of the band dance team. I remember being like what is this and why is it going in my private area? But now its not that big of a deal. I don't wear em on a regular basis but when I do wear them I can't tell too much of a difference. -Ashleigh Hardin-Jones
You need a thong for your drawer, because you're going to have that one dress that is so sexy, and you can't wear boyshorts or granny panties with it, but it's not my every day preference to wear a thong, or shop for one. For the record (I am going to put it out there, I am 180 lbs with a size 40 hip), so skinny spaghetti panties, won't work for me. The cheeks can hang out, but nothing else can lol! - Nadine Jerome
I think wearing thongs on a regular basis is a feisty thing. Also a woman's best underwear option when it comes to provocative attire (tight pants, see-through clothing). The only way the thong makes me feel sexy, is if I'm showing it off to my significant other to spice things up.. Lol. I personally do not wear thongs regularly, they're a little uncomfortable for my behind. PINK booty shorts are my go to panties. ~ Sasha Marina
Thong Be Gone:
“I hate them! They are uncomfortable to me. It feels like I have a permanent wedgie." ~ Cece Janell
“I despise thongs. I have sensitive skin and thongs do not help at all. Although I do love the invisible lines when wearing anything form-fitting, I can do the same with boy-shorts." ~ Ciarra Lambert
“When I was younger, I loved them! [Now] my backside is too big for them, they get lost. Due to my lack of exercise, I wear a skin smoothing boy short to conceal panty lines and butt dimples lol." ~Rose Velez-Miggins
“I hate all underwear actually, but the thong, for me, really has no purpose. I actually go commando. I think they are very pretty, but if you wear them for no panty lines then why not go without them period. It's like walking around with a permanent wedgie all day." ~ Devon Brown
"I hate thongs! I absolutely hate them. I'm instantly reminded of what a wedgie feels like, that discomfort. I wear thongs for my man. He loves the way my ass cheeks tantalize him while I'm wearing them. If it wasn't for the look on his face or the way he bites his lip, I would never wear them." -Sheriden Garrett
Are you a thong lover or a can you do without them? Let us know below!
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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