For Thomas Q. Jones, A Woman's Honesty Is Everything

You've managed to secure spots in some of the hottest shows and movies seemingly right out the gate: ‘Luke Cage’, ‘Straight Outta Compton’, ‘Being Mary Jane’, and now ‘Tales’ on BET. What has that experience been like for you?

I was excited when I read the script and when they actually brought me in for the role. I went in, looked at it, and really connected to the character and the material. I didn't know about Elijah [Kelly] or Isaiah [Washington] or anyone else, but the next morning after I was cast--Irv [Gotti] called me and was like, "Hey we got Elijah Kelley and Isaiah Washington," and I was like, wow. I've been a fan of Isaiah's for years and Elijah is a great up and coming actor, so it was just great to work with those two.

I think Irv and his production team, the whole crew, post-production, sound--everybody just killed it. It wasn't like I was watching TV. It felt like I was watching a movie. Everyone was very connected to the characters and in tune and we were really like family on set. Irv did a great job directing it. He knew exactly what he wanted to do with the story and the writers knew exactly what they wanted to do. They really pulled those characters out of us.

What's been the biggest difference you've found in Thomas the Actor versus Thomas the Professional NFL Star?

Growth. In football, you grow physically, obviously you get bigger and better. But you don't really get a chance to grow as a person. It's a very one-dimensional world, the NFL is. Ultimately, whether it's a home or an away game--you're still playing football. It's still x's and o's. You're still in that world of competition and the only thing that changes is the intensity--based off of whether it's a regular season game or the Super Bowl. Acting is very, very different. You're playing different characters, working with different actors, directors, producers, environments. It's just so much more there. You're working with people who have different backgrounds and life experiences; you have to interpret things differently. And in turn, you grow as a person.

With everything you have going for you, I assume your schedule is jam-packed nowadays. Do you have time to date?

You know what, I'm definitely interested in finding someone I'm compatible with. My Mom wants more grandkids; and it's funny because everybody in my family thought I'd be the one married with kids by now. But it just didn't work out. And it's tough now because of my scheduling and just being able to trust people sometimes. You don't know exactly what people's intentions are, so you have to take the time to figure it out. You can't make hasty decisions. It's a little tricky, but I'm open to it. I'm not actively looking but I am aware. Hopefully soon I can find me a nice, strong Black woman to marry and have kids with, but it's just got to be the right situation.

When you do find that potentially right situation, what qualities does she need to possess in order to make you commit?

Security. Not just financially but within herself. That's sexy to me. She needs to be someone that can teach me things, you know someone I can learn from. Obviously you want to be physically attracted, but there are a lot of things that can be sexy on someone. I don't really have one thing. It could be how she looks at me or how she takes control of a situation, her attitude, the way she carries herself.

I don't think I have a preference, but Black Women are everything to me. They are my type, but they don't have to look a certain way. Short hair, braids, locs, short, tall, caramel, chocolate. All shapes, sizes, colors, complexions, energies. It doesn't matter. I blame y'all for being so dope. Love y'all, I really do.

We definitely love you too.

I'm glad to hear that, I appreciate that.

So when you’re committed, how do you make your woman feel special and important?

I like to do flowers, get her address to wherever she is and send them. I also send them to my Mother and my sisters. I have five sisters, two older and two younger. Of course special dinners, movies, cards. The main thing for me is just to be honest. You have to truly make sure you tell that person how much you love them and care about them. Because the reality is life is short; we take it for granted. I really think it's dope when your significant other is also your friend and not just a placeholder.

"The main thing for me is just to be honest… I really think it's dope when your significant other is also your friend and not just a placeholder."

Okay, now let’s flip it. How would you like a woman to cater to you to make you feel loved and cherished?

She has to tell me the truth at all times, even if I don't want to hear it. I don't want you to tell me what I want to hear, tell me what I need to hear. Because it's ultimately going to make me better in some way. Which is what we're supposed to do. You know, at this point in my life, I'm all about substance. What are we doing for each other? Are we really growing? Are we really becoming better people? What is our end goal? Can you make me laugh? Can we joke around?

So how important is physical attraction and sexual compatibility to you when you're in a relationship?

I think those are two different things. I would consider myself a very sexual person, I think we all are. But some people are more in-tuned. I can see the sexy things in women, but it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with her looks. I'm not big on a woman having to have certain features or anything like that--but if you give me that vibe that makes me feel it: then that's that. If I see it, you got it. Humility also turns me on, I don't like vain women. There are millions of women who have "the look"--what separates you from them?

"I'm not big on a woman having to have certain features or anything like that--but if you give me that vibe that makes me feel it: then that's that. If I see it, you got it."

That makes sense. What about deal-breakers? Where do you draw the line?

I'm very big on hygiene. I definitely like a well-groomed woman. Nails done, hair done. I'm definitely attracted to that. Because I'm not going to be walking around looking any kind of way. I guess those could be my deal-breakers because you don't really have to have money to be clean, know what I'm saying? That's just having some integrity for me.

What do you know now about love that you didn't know before?

Love isn't black and white. And I'm a black and white person, so that's tough. You have to be able to find the silver in it. And that's where I am now; I'm trying to find it. There's going to be moments where it is black and white, but if you can find that middle--then the relationship can work. Because love is very complex, it's not as simple as finding someone, getting married, [and] having kids.

Amen to that. Last thing before you go: what would you say are some of the biggest lessons you've learned thus far throughout your journey?

Hard work pays off--which I already knew. But especially in this industry because there's so much competition. There's a lot of slots, but there are only so many slots based off who's who and where you're trying to go in your career. I'm a very dedicated and ambitious person. I'm kind of a busy-body so being in LA and in this industry is great because I'm a hustler by nature. I like working with people and connecting the dots.

Also, you have to continue to be nice and humble because you never know who's going to become who. So many people have attitudes or they're disrespectful or they're ingenuine. But you just never know who's going to end up being your boss. And you have to strive to get better continuously and be fearless as an actor. A lot of people don't want to get out of their comfort zone--but that's just not me at all.