Getting into the business of freelancing has become sexier than ever because it comes with the idea that you get to be your own boss. Social media paints the picture that once you become a freelancer, there's no more clocking in and out of the office, being micromanaged by some control-freak, or rushing to get out of the office to make happy hour with your girls. On top of all of this, you get to work literally from wherever you want in the world (oh hey Bali, oh hey Jamaica), and look cute on Insta while doing it.
Being a freelancer, you are the master of your own fate, the ultimate girlboss - OR at least that's what you think.
While being a freelancer does come with many benefits (yes, often you can work from wherever and be in control of your own schedule), the rewards comes with many risks and hard work.
Before you decide to become a freelancer, here are four women who share the top things that they wish someone would've told them about freelancing, and the things you should know before you become one.
Dalila Thomas
Freelance PR Agent, Journalist, and Founder of Starving on a Budget
On being a freelance writer:
Negotiate.
"This is something that many can expect goes without saying, however there are plenty of writers - honestly professionals of all sorts - that still don't negotiate pay. That's a no-no. If you've gotten to a point with a potential employer that you're in a room/on the phone/Skyping/etc. discussing pay, it means they want what you have to offer. If they see the value in you, you should be able to come to an agreement regarding your compensation. If not, it wasn't meant to be."
Plan.
"If you're freelancing full-time, it's very likely you'll be working on multiple pieces/projects at one time. While it may be tempting to take on a much as possible, be mindful - and realistic - about how much you can handle. When you compromise yourself, you compromise that quality of your work. Another important thing is planning out your pay. Knowing when you will get paid is crucial to your livelihood. Some publications allow you to submit an invoice immediately, others may pay you months later after the piece is published."
Know the rules.
"If you're freelancing with multiple publications and writing about similar subjects, make sure you're following rules laid out in any agreement/contract you sign. Many publications won't allow you to write about the same subject/subject matter for other publications until a certain amount of time has passed."
Follow her on Instagram.
Trina J.
Freelance Fitness Trainer
On being a freelance fitness trainer:
Don't be scared to talk about what you do.
"Work your network, ask for referrals from friends and even from your social media network."
Don't just post progress pics.
"Be relevant, provide value fitness content and tips on and off line to gain credibility and expand your reach."
Think outside of Instagram.
"Use LinkedIn. A lot of professionals in my industry ignore this platform. LinkedIn is where the professionals live that see the value in working with a trainer. Be relevant in this space, engage with people and work your connections."
Follow her on Instagram.
Quiana Darden
Freelance Content Marketing Writer
On being in the content business:
Never stop working on you.
"It takes a lot more than being an excellent writer to be a successful freelance writer. Between organizing projects, meeting deadlines, communicating with clients, and reaching out to potential clients to find new business, you have to ensure that your other skills are refined as well.
"You should always be a student. Maybe it's because I used to be a teacher, but I love learning how to improve both my writing and my business as a whole. Whether you invest in reading books, listening to podcasts, taking courses, attending conferences, or hiring a coach, you should always be learning about how to improve your writing skills and your business skills. There are tons of fantastic resources out there for you to take advantage of, no matter your budget."
Always keep the money on your mind.
"Run your business like a business. It's easy to find and accept writing jobs, but are they helping you reach your revenue goals? If you're taking on very low-level assignments that pay you next to nothing, yet you're trying to scale your business, you will struggle. Know your annual, quarterly, and monthly revenue goals. Know your required hourly rate and ensure that the projects you take on are pushing you towards reaching your overall business goals. That's the only way you will grow and sustain your business."
Follow her on Instagram.
Ashley Janelle
Freelance User Experience Design Coach
On getting clients as a freelancer in tech:
Be a boss in every area of your business.
"Do great work, be on time, and stay professional at all times. Many of the clients I get are from referrals, so it's really important to always put your best foot forward. Also, make sure you have a system in place for getting clients. When you have a client, you should always be looking for your next client so never get complacent."
Follow her on Instagram.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
RELATED
The reason why I think that this is relevant to today’s topic is, as I was doing some research for it, I found myself rolling my eyes quite a bit as I read things like “men need to orgasm in order to release sperm; women don’t need an orgasm to conceive” and “Why do women orgasm? It’s still a mystery.” Umm, is it? Because if you factor in the oneness component that I just mentioned (which more people should take to heart if you ask me) and then add to that the fact that the ONLY purpose of a clitoris is sexual stimulation and satisfaction for a woman — female climaxing and the need for it to happen as much as possible should baffle absolutely no one.
Sex serves a layer of benefits and yes, for both men and women, pleasure should be one of them. And since that is the case, a woman being able to orgasm, as much as she can, should be promoted…in content on a consistent basis.
And that is why I thought some of you might find it interesting that there are certain things about men, specifically, that science says can increase the chances of you climaxing — not only more but more intensely too.
Let’s dive in.
How Masculine a Man Is
GiphyI’m gonna be honest: All of the women out here who give pushback on submission and yet want a man to physically look up to (you know, someone who is 6’ or over which is only 15 percent of the male US population, by the way) fascinate me. So, you want a man who towers over you yet you think it is antiquated for a man to lead you? Do tell. Anyway, that is the first thing I thought about when I read that a man’s level of masculinity plays a significant role in how often a woman is able to orgasm and how quickly she is able to do it.
It would appear that some of the backstory on this is, on the physical tip, men with strong jawlines and broad shoulders represent being in good health as well as being able to protect their family while research also reveals that men with beards make many women believe that they would be good fathers. And yes, as much as social media may say — or scream — otherwise, women tend to prefer dominant (exerting authority or influence) men more as well. All of this together, in the bedroom, results in more and faster orgasms for women. Fascinating.
A Man’s Personality
GiphyA sense of humor in a man can really take him a long way in life — including when it comes to giving women orgasms. That’s why articles like “Funny Men Give The Best Orgasms, According To Research” exist. Although it’s probably a given that a lot of us are drawn to this character trait because it makes us feel good, research also says that humor taps into our creativity, makes it easier for us to adapt to things, and can help us to be better problem-solvers too.
Sexually, I would think that being funny helps because humor and orgasms both provide dopamine hits which is the feel-good hormone that runs throughout our bodies. While we’re on this topic, other personality traits that will make you cum more when it comes to men include being creative, warm, and faithful — gee, imagine that. #sarcasm
Also, a Man’s Self-Esteem
GiphyI’m pretty sure it doesn’t surprise you in the least that the more intense your orgasms are with a guy, the more attractive you’ll find him to be and the more willing you’ll be to have sex with him multiple times a week. Yeah, y’all be careful with this one because something else that science says is whenever a really good orgasm comes your way, as a woman, your brain literally switches all the way off for a moment (which could explain a lot when it comes to who some people choose to deal with out here…just sayin’). Anyway, apparently it would seem that a truly confident man is who’s able to pull all of this off.
That makes sense because confidence is all about having a high sense of self-worth; embracing challenges; not having a lot of self-doubt; listening well to others; standing firm on one’s own beliefs; putting plans into action, and taking control of one’s life. Plus, since a lot of women will admit that they prefer a man to be a provider and protector, which in turn causes them to feel safe, and feeling safe also makes it easier to let go and enjoy sex fully — yes, all of this tracks.
Foreskin
GiphyIf no one else will say it, I WILL: the double standard on foreskin vs. the extra skin that a lot of women have when it comes to their vulva is absolutely ridiculous. In fact, if you know some things about your clitoris, it’s constructed a lot like a mini-penis in the sense of it experiences an erection of sorts when it’s aroused and the clitoral hood is the clitoris’s “foreskin.” So, to be out here giving the “ick” to men for how they were born when some of us have large or hanging lips — yeah, let’s chill on that.
Besides, according to science, “uncut men” not only have a greater level of sensation during sex, but that extra bit of skin (which isn’t as much as a lot of y’all make it out to be…relax) actually gives women more consistent orgasms too. Don’t believe me? Read this here and this here.
If He Ejaculates
GiphyI dunno. If you’re not a selfish partner, this one seems like common sense because, if a man “completes the act”, that means he was able to “get his” and that seems like something any good lover would want for their partner (the only thing better? Experiencing it with him at the same time!). However, what I did find interesting is there’s a greater chance that a woman will orgasm herself if she knows that her partner came.
In fact, one study said that a little over 50 percent of women thought that it was very important that their partner ejaculated during sex while a little over 22 percent said that they experienced more intense orgasms if he came during intercourse.
Some studies say that the sensation of the sperm inside of the vagina may play a role in this; however, since that means that you must engage in unprotected sex (check out “Thinking About Going Condom-Free? Read This Before You Do.”) in order to vouch for this one…I’ll just say to use forethought, wisdom and definitely get tested before attempting it.
BONUS: How Your Friends See Him
GiphyThe more you learn, boy. Have any of you heard of the sexy son hypothesis before? The gist is this: If you create children with someone who other women find attractive, the belief is that you will end up having sons who have that same quality. And yes, being with someone who you think is appealing to other women — seems to increase the chances of you having an orgasm too (chile).
___
Hmph. It’s intel like this that explains why so many think pieces say that the brain is the most powerful sex organ that we have. Anyway, if you’re someone who wants to have more orgasms or more intense orgasms, perhaps take some of this data to heart. For all you know, it might be the blueprint that you’ve been looking for all along.
Thoughts? Comments. Confirmations? LOL.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy