Ah. I am so excited about this month! Pretty much because the one that follows it is my favorite one of the year—October. Although I've got some personal reason for why I like it so much (two of my favorite men, who are no longer with me, their birthdays are in October; my dad and my late fiancé), I think that it is the quintessential representation of fall—and the fall season is all kinds of dope. The weather is cooler. The leaves are changing into pretty and vibrant colors. I get to do more layering of my clothes. Yeah, there's not one single issue I have with fall. Not one.
Well, maybe just one. I'm not sure where y'all live, but I live in Nashville and it's the home of totally unpredictable weather; especially when spring and autumn roll around. Back when I wasn't as proactive about caring for my health as I should've been, if I caught a cold or my hair or lips got extra dry, I'd figure out what to do after the fact. These days, I'm a little more on top of things. These days, before the fall season officially hits, I know just what I need to do to get my health "fall ready". Here is what you can do to prepare beforehand as well.
1. Stop by Your Local Farmers Market
Broccoli. Cabbage. Carrots. Pears. Grapes. Eggplant. Kale. Zucchini. Pumpkin. Pomegranates. These are just some of the foods that are at their peak of freshness during the fall season. Since they're all really good for you, why not support your immune system, along with your community, by picking them up at your local farmers market? Also, since herbs like rosemary and thyme are also in season during autumn, there's no time like the present to amp up your vegan cooking skills too.
2. Up Your Vitamin D Intake
The sun does shine in colder temperatures, but between all of the rain and daylight savings time, you might not get as much as you're used to; this means that you might not get as much Vitamin D as you need either. That's why it's a good idea to be intentional about getting more Vitamin D into your system. You can take a D supplement, if you'd like. Or, if you'd prefer to eat more foods that are high in Vitamin D, some of those include eggs, salmon, mushrooms, orange juice and cheese.
3. Apply Some Frankincense and Myrrh to Your Skin
The fall season is weird in the sense that more inclement weather might result in more moisture in the air. But, at the same time, harsh and cold winds can dry your skin totally out. That's why another thing that I recommend is creating a blend of frankincense and myrrh oil.
Frankincense is an earthy-smelling essential oil that contains properties that not only fight acne but can prevent fine lines and wrinkles (skin-wise, a good read is Zoe Report's "Frankincense Oil Is Like 'Liquid Gold' For Your Face"). As a bonus, frankincense is able to relieve anxiety, reduce PMS symptoms, balance hormones, reduce stress and, if you're trying to make a baby this autumn, increase fertility too. Myrrh is a warm and spicy smelling oil that contains astringent properties that are great for treating eczema and itchy skin. It's perfect for fall because Myrrh is also able to moisturize your skin, relieve any cracking and fade blemishes too. Other benefits of myrrh oil is it boosts brain power, and it reduces bodily inflammation and cold-related symptoms like coughing and phlegm.
Because both oils are pretty potent, it's a good idea to mix them with a carrier oil before applying. Almond, grapeseed and jojoba are really great options.
4. Eat Healthy Comfort Foods
I always enjoy comfort foods, but I think fall may be the time when I crave them most. One article says that the reason why so many of us dig them is because they take us back to certain foods that we enjoyed as children and/or they're dishes that were made by someone we truly love(d).
If you've been trying to talk yourself out of having them this year because they aren't exactly the healthiest foods on the planet, there's some good news. Enjoying comfort food, guilt-free, is mostly about preparation more than anything else. "31 Healthy Comfort Foods for People Who Love to Eat" offers up some pretty healthy recipes. Or, if you're looking for some Black vegan inspiration, check out "15 Vegan Soul Food Dishes That'll Make You Rethink Meat".
5. Cook with “Warming” Spices
Speaking of eating, did you know that there are spices that can actually warm your body up? Once you start noticing frost on your car windows, that's a sign that there's more of a "bite" in the air. Something that can keep you from freezing is cooking meals with spices and herbs like black pepper (contains antioxidants and increases nutrient absorption); cinnamon (lowers blood sugar and has powerful medicinal properties); cayenne pepper (reduces blood pressure and improves psoriasis); ginger (boosts immunity and contains anti-inflammatory properties); and garlic (improves cholesterol levels and fights the common cold).
6. Drink Chamomile or Dandelion Tea
If sweet iced tea tends to be your summer drink jam, slightly switch things up by making your tea warm and going with an herbal kind like chamomile or dandelion. Chamomile is great because it reduces stress, lowers blood sugar, relieves cold symptoms, treats eczema and even soothes menstrual discomfort. Dandelion's a winner because it detoxes the liver, reduces bloating, helps to prevent urinary tract infections, fights inflammation and is loaded with antioxidants to boost your immune system.
Oh, and if you're wondering if it matters whether you go the loose leaf or traditional tea bag route, I recently read an article that's gonna have me taking the loose leaf route more often from here on out. If for no other reason than all of the dust that collects on the bags alone (yuck!).
7. Exercise Outdoors
The fresh air. The beautiful scenery. The wind resistance (because that can help you to burn more calories). Its ability to increase your mental health and boost your self-esteem. These are just some of the reasons why it's a good idea to exercise outdoors. Being that the fall season brings forth milder temperatures, you don't have to worry about burning up (summer) or freezing to death (winter).
So, why not use the fall season to take a hike, go canoeing or do something totally fall theme-related like playing in the leaves with your kids, walking through a fall harvest maze or going apple picking with some friends? Fall can be a fun time to do all sorts of things that will keep your body in shape.
8. Deep Condition and Oil Your Hair’s Ends
When it's cold outside, that can do a real number on your hair. Whether you decide to wear it out, put it up in a protective style, wrap it up in a scarf or put on a hat, make sure your hair is well-moisturized by deep conditioning your tresses no less than twice a month (something that I have become a huge fan of is chebe powder).
Speaking of hair care, something else that you should do (especially if you're gonna be rocking wool hats 'n such) is to oil your ends. Sweet almond oil seals and protects, lavender oil thickens and (extra virgin) olive oil provides shine and sheen while protecting your ends from heat damage in the process.
9. DIY a Lip Scrub
If your lips are always chapped during cooler weather and you've always wondered why, it's basically due to two things. First, you're probably dehydrated, so drinking more water is the first way to remedy the issue. Second, since your lips don't have any oil glands in them, when there is harsh weather (heat, wind, cold), that can cause them to dry out.
To get rid of the dead skin that may be on your lips, make your own lip scrub (you can get some easy recipes here). Then, after they are soft and smooth, protect them by applying some shea butter or making your own lip balm (you can learn how to do that here and here).
10. Get Some Flannel Bedding
Something that does kinda suck about the drop in temperature during the fall and winter is the rise in electric bills. Something that you can do to keep some extra money in your pocket is to put some flannel sheets on your bed. They're soft and cozy, they're able to keep your warm and they're also the kind of fabric that allows your skin to breathe. Since our skin is our largest organ, keeping it healthy is always a good thing.
Flannel sheets actually feel so good that it can be tempting to hit your snooze button five times and remain in bed. Yeah, try and avoid that, though. I recently read that sleeping 10 hours or longer can double your chance of having a heart attack. Geeze.
Oh, if you're wondering how the heck to care for flannel sheets, wash them in warm or cool water, then dry them like you would any other bedding. Just make sure to skip the whole fabric softener thing. For some reason, it makes the sheets stiff and can cause the material to "bead up" quicker. Happy (almost) fall, y'all!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert