High school is one of the best moments of your life. You're young, carefree, and the world is literally at your fingertips.
While some of us use this as a time for exploration on all things professional to romantic, others luck up early on and discover just what they want out of life pretty much before the "real world" hits. As for these highschool sweethearts, Dani and TJ Byerson, it didn't take long after being introduced to each other, for them to know they were meant to be together.
These two met at a random afternoon park outing with friends. While they were both there just as tag-alongs for the other people they were with, in reality, this initial meeting would be the beginning of the first and last romantic relationship they would ever know.
The second TJ laid eyes on his now wife, Dani, he knew he had to make a move. And he did just that! The two began their relationship that summer and have now been together for 14 years. From teenage love, to college, to now being parents to a beautiful baby girl, the Byersons show that true love knows no age limit, and finding your soulmate in high school is indeed possible.
While some may believe puppy love is just something you experience while you're young and not actually real, the Byersons prove otherwise, and show how their young love has grown throughout the years.
But I know you're wondering, after all these years how does one still keep the love alive right? After all, they are both each other's one and only romantic partner.. EVER! How did they do it? "Communication! We talk to each other about what it is we want both romantically and sexually. We explore all of our wants and needs, always," Dani shared.
These two have taken the power of their communication and love story to create their own podcast entitled The Lovers Quarrel Show where they get real about marriage, parenting, and everyday life. While they know their relationship is far from perfect, communication continues to keep their love thriving and they just want to help other couples get better at communicating and problem solving as well. It's what has led these high school sweethearts to build a life together throughout these 14 years, and their love journey is just getting started.
This is their journey.
The One
Dani: I knew he was the one by how dedicated and committed he was to seeing us go the distance. You don't meet young men who are convinced of who they want to spend their life with, with such conviction. He loved me and respected me and wanted to be with me.
"You don't meet young men who are convinced of who they want to spend their life with, with such conviction."
TJ: Everybody loving her, my friends, family, and myself. Dani is an amazing spirit. She is a great conversationalist, and she is intelligent enough to speak in any setting. But the defining moment was when I had the ring purchased and we had a big argument a few days before I was set to propose. That argument could've changed my mind to proposing but it didn't. That's when I knew that this was forever.
Lessons In Love
Dani: Marriage is not a job, but it is WORK. But in loving one another, I am always willing to dust myself off and get back to working at it. Because I love him, and he loves me.
TJ: Make sure you are friends first. Dani and I were friends. So our relationship was built on our friendship. Make sure you can be friends with the person you love and plan to marry.
Deepest Fears
Dani: My biggest fear walking into marriage was how would things change? We had been together so long but were also so young, and I wondered how things would be different (in both the good and bad sense). The fear of the unknown did linger a little. However, I let that fear go by understanding that TJ and I had faced so many unknowns before this and came out stronger and for the better as a couple. So I knew marriage would be no different.
TJ: I had no fears. She was the one, I was ready. I had the perfect woman and I wasn't letting her go. My only fear would've been to lose her.
"I had the perfect woman and I wasn't letting her go."
Building Together
Dani: Some of our early challenges were adjusting to living together, alone. All the years prior, we lived together we had roommates as well, so no "buffer" of sorts when he and I were on the outs. I also realized how "not handy" TJ was around the house. I'd like to think I'm more of a "Mrs. Fix It" than him. (laughs)
TJ: We lived together before we were married, but me being junky is probably her biggest pet peeve along with my shopping habit.
Learning Each Other's Love Language
Dani: I think it was enlightening to have evidence of the differences between TJ and I as far as what love language we speak. It put into words that we feel loved in very different ways, which is truly validating. But, it took time to understand each other's love language and how to convey that type of love to each other. So often, we express love in the way that we wish to receive it, and then end up disappointed at the lukewarm reception we get as a result. But, like with many things, TJ and I get better with time and understanding and conveying love in a language that each other would truly appreciate.
"So often, we express love in the way that we wish to receive it, and then end up disappointed at the lukewarm reception we get as a result."
TJ: It's work, just like marriage. It's not a job but it is work. So we learned and relearned and communicated through the process.
Common Goals
Dani: We want to be happy and provide for our family in the best possible ways we can. Our purpose is to enjoy life while also being in service to others as well. Our individual goals serve that common goal in that they include obtaining a quality education, remaining continuously hard-working, and community service oriented.
TJ: Being the best versions of ourselves, providing a great future for our daughter and future children. We are working hard in our profession, educational, and everything else to better ourselves.
The Power Of Prayer
Dani: [In relationships] when things are good, pray. When things get tough, pray even more.
TJ: [In relationships] when things get hard you pray, the harder it is you pray harder. You have to be willing to work, it's not something you can give up on.
For more on their love story be sure to follow them at @Daniwrote and @Byerson4 or on their joint account @loversquarrelshow. Also be sure to tune into The Lovers Quarrel Show, for all things love, marriage and everyday life.
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
