Back around the turn of the century, I used to date a Muslim (if you can call it that; it was actually more like I used to have sex with a bestie). I could write an entire book on the lessons that I learned from that experience, both good and horrifying. On the silver lining tip, something that I appreciate is that he introduced me to a collection of sayings from Muhammed known as hadith. As far as other spiritual content goes, I make it no secret that some of my absolute favorite proverbs are Buddhist ones; in fact, one of my all-time favorite parables is a popular one in the Buddhist faith (you can check it out here). Yet out of all of the spiritual books and readings that I have come across, I firmly and unapologetically prefer the Bible over them all.
There is something about that book, in particular, that is both timeless and multi-dimensional. I say that because, I don't know about you, but I can read one verse on Monday, come back to that very same one on Wednesday, and it will speak to me totally differently. Plus, books like Ecclesiastes and Proverbs are chalked with so much common sense that if most of us heeded those two alone, there's no telling how much the quality of our lives would improve. Yeah, the Bible is dope. Extremely so.
At the same time, I must say that I didn't really see the Good Book as a great single woman's manual until I started learning Hebrew (Christ was a Jew so, why not?) and really studying the Word for myself (2 Timothy 2:15—AMPC). Once that happened, can't nobody tell me that the holy Scriptures aren't true lifesavers!
If you're a single woman and bible reader, but you've been having a difficult time finding how to merge the two in a truly powerful and applicable way, I'll share with you some of the verses that have made me feel like God truly gets me—even, and some ways especially, as a single woman.
1. "So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man."---Genesis 2:21-22 (NLT)
Some people are gonna want to give pushback on this and that's fine. But personally, I've never been big on it being a requirement that men pursue women. It also makes me cringe whenever I hear that it should be expected because "men are hunters" (I'm not a deer in the woods; I am a daughter of the Most High). Am I saying that men shouldn't be chivalrous? Of course, they should be. But the whole chase a woman down thing? I mean, if I am a gift from God, why does a man have to kill himself to have me? Gifts are less taxing than that. Besides the whole "He who findeth a wife" back-up take (Proverbs 18:22)? Look up the definitions of find one day. They are pretty enlightening.
Anyway, when I decided to ask God to show me how he desires relationships to go, I "took a stroll" through the Garden of Eden. Genesis 2:22 is a total game-changer. Adam did not pursue his wife. In fact, he didn't even decide when it was time to be with her. GOD DID. While God was creating who was a perfect complement for Adam, ole' boy was asleep the entire time. Then, when God was done, he brought the Woman to Adam. Some translations use the word "presented".
This is dope on a few levels. One, because for the Woman (Eve's name in the Garden) to be brought, it gives me the impression that she had to have had her own time to God before being in Adam's life. Two, since God did all of the work, Adam couldn't insert his ego into the situation. He didn't "acquire" his wife; she was a gift given to him. She was all God's doing. Besides, Adam was a gardener, not a hunter. Gardeners cultivate, just as all good husbands should. See why I think Genesis 2:22 is so on point?
2. "For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well."---Psalm 139:13-14 (NKJV)
This verse right here shows that God doesn't become a part of our lives the day we are born. From this, it looks like he's totally invested and involved from the moment of conception (an article all on its own). Yet the reason why these verses make the list is because it's a reminder that one of the best ways to honor God is through praise. And while we're in the process of thanking him for thinks like food, water, shelter, family and friends, we should also thank him for all of the effort and energy that he placed into making each and every one of us.
James 5:16 says that we are to confess and be healed, right? Something that I used to struggle with is what I call "pretty girl syndrome". No, I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about all of the women that I used to be surrounded by who I thought were stunning; stunning to the point where I envied them. One day, my mother (who is on that list) said, "So, when people say you look like me, what do you think they mean?" Check. Then when I really let these verses sink it, it became a checkmate.
Some of us could stand to repent, right here and right now, for thinking that God spent more time designing the women around us than us. Can you imagine how insulting that is to our Heavenly Father to think or feel that way? More than that, how much it hurts his feelings?
God is excellent in all He does. You are no exception. Since His works are marvelous and you are one of them, don't you think it's time that you gave Him some heartfelt praise for all He put into you? All that He put in that no one else has quite like you? Amen? Amen.
3. "Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready."---Song of Solomon 2:7 (Message)
Now this is a good one. Hands down, Song of Solomon is one of my favorite books of the Bible because it reminds us that God is all about sex and intimacy. According to Scripture, His standards are high (you can read between the lines there), but He is all for love and passion. At the same time, He is also a great source of common sense (Proverbs 2:6-8—Message); that's why this one resonates with me so.
If you're not familiar with the Shulamite woman who is featured in this book of the Bible, she's a dark sistah (yep) who has enough wisdom and insight to basically tell her friends, "It's best to love someone when the time is right. When things line up in such a way where you are ready and he is ready."
Can you imagine all of the drama that would be spared if we all thought this way? If, instead of one of our friends getting a DM from some ex and us telling her that it's a sign that he's the one, that we encourage her to wait before responding and to pray and process if it truly is a good idea to reach back out or not?
Again, Song of Solomon is filled with passion. All good. But this verse right here complements something that Benjamin Franklin once said—"If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins." Yup.
4. "My darling, everything about you is beautiful, and there is nothing at all wrong with you."---Song of Solomon 4:7 (NCV)
Only an ego-maniac or totally self-delusional individual believes that the person who is meant to be their significant other should never challenge them (that reminds me, when you get a chance, check out the awesome points found in the videos "7 Signs This Man Might Be for You" and "7 Signs This Might Be from the Devil"). If you want to grow, you're gonna need to hear about yourself sometimes, whether you want to, like it or not.
At the same time, this verse right here is a reminder that your man will be your biggest fan. He will not be out here dropping hints about how much prettier you would be if you lost weight, had a bigger butt or changed your hair. He's gonna be like what a husband once said to me about his wife—"I love that when God made her, he had me in mind."
We are all human. This means that we ALL have something to work on and improve upon. But when this man said that there was nothing wrong with this woman he loved, while a good relationship improves us, what he was essentially saying is there was nothing that he wanted to change.
Women deserve to hear this. Men do too. So ladies, if you're currently seeing someone and you're already plottin' and plannin' ways to change him after marriage, I'll just say that if both of you can't say this verse to one another, perhaps you're not meant for one another. At least, not right now.
5. "God will create a new thing in this land: A transformed woman will embrace the transforming God!”---Jeremiah 31:22 (Message)
Back when I was going through a bit of a life transition that was wearing me all the way out, God led me to this Scripture right here. Whew. Not only was going through so much because he was doing something new (sometimes, in order to get the right "house", the foundation has to be demolished too), but the transition was all about transformation.
To be transformed is "to undergo a change in form, appearance, or character". This is why I wrote the article "5 Signs That You Really Know A Person". If we're all taking this thing called time seriously, many of us are not the same person we were six months ago, let alone five years ago (so know, everyone should not be able to say that they "know" you). And if we are as "spiritual" as we claim, we definitely should be doing some transforming; we definitely should want God to transform us.
The other thing that I like about this particular verse is it says that while the woman (which is Israel in this case) got to a place of transformation, God was still transforming! It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by evangelist Oswald Chambers—"Never try to make your experience a principle for others, but allow God to be as creative and original with others as He is with you." Why? Because since God changes his form or appearance (not really his character; Malachi 3:6 [NKJV] says, "For I am the Lord, I do not change"), we should let God come to us (and others) how He chooses. We shouldn't "box Him in" as it relates to how or when He decides to transform us and our lives.
6. "And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him."---Matthew 6:7-9 (NKJV)
Yeah buddy. A lot of church leaders could stand to read—and reread—those first two sentences, but I digress. The reason why this is so important is because of the last line. Although a lot of life consists of learning the difference between what we want and what we need (especially what we want in correlation to what God says that we need), if we really do believe that our Heavenly Father has our best interest at heart, we've got to trust that He doesn't need us reminding—or worse, instructing—Him about how our lives should go. Although it's truly an epidemic, how many people feel like they can pick or choose what part of the Bible is applicable and right, if you claim to be a follower of the Scriptures, this is not one that can or should be omitted.
Prayer is fine. Biblically-encouraged too. But whatever it is that you are going through right now, no matter how big the need may be, know that you are totally on God's radar. He saw the "requirement" or "urgent want" well before you did.
And, as my favorite quote from Pastor John Piper states, "God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them." Trust and believe that your needs are somewhere on that list ("Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."—Luke 12:6-7—NKJV)
7. "There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, 'The two become one.' Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never 'become one.'"----I Corinthians 6:16-17 (Message)
I have shared before that I'm a firm believer that we all should be able to explain our purpose in three words or phrases. Mine are centered around sex, marriage and the Sabbath—all of which are biblical covenant principles. Believe you me, it's an odd combo and sometimes I catch heat for it. I mean, how can I profess to be a bible follower and talk about sex as much as I do (gasp!)?
You can read articles of mine like "We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex'" and "10 Wonderful Reasons Why Consistent Sex In Marriage Is So Important" to know that I don't take sex lightly; I find it to be extremely sacred (after all, I'm a marriage life coach not a sex therapist). At the same time, I know that different people come into different insights about sex in their own way and time. I also know that the Church, overall, has done a horrific job addressing sex and sexuality. It's like something I read that a man by the name of Don Schrader once said—"To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals." Indeed. Indeed.
So yes, sex should be discussed. Not just discussed but celebrated. It's nothing to be hush-hush or ashamed about. At the same time, if you take Scripture seriously, verses like this one shouldn't be overlooked. Sex is about a heck of a lot more than gettin' your rocks off and there are spiritual ramifications that go deep, deep, DEEP. Always keep that in mind with the choices that you make—even as a single woman.
8. "Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!"---Jude 1:2 (Message)
I don't know about you, but I think that sometimes people underestimate what we go through as single women. We're responsible for so much on our own that it can be overwhelming, right? That's why one of my favorite "anchor Scriptures" is this one.
Once upon a time, after a heartbreak that I experienced, someone sent me this. I had never seen it before and it totally blew my mind because I felt like it was customized and heaven sent just for me. Sometimes, all we need to hear in our spirit is, "Relax, my child. It's all going to work out for your good." Plus, the "love is on the way" part speaks to me on two different levels. One, I haven't been brought to my husband-king yet, but another Message Version verse that I totally dig is, "You don't get to know the time. Timing is the Father's business" (Acts 1:7).
This verse reminds me that I can't force the Universe; that I need to let things flow. And two, God is love; the Word tells us that in I John 4:7-16 tells us that. So, in the meantime, while I am awaiting my future beloved, Love is on the way to bring me so many other manifestations of his Love. And really…does it get better than that?
Like I said earlier, Scriptures present themselves differently to us all. But I do hope and, also believe, that if you spend a little time meditating on these eight, they can speak volumes and work miracles in your life, just as they did for me. Be blessed, sis.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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7 Things I Learned After Becoming a Super Saved, Sanctified, Holy Ghost-Filled Christian
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RELATED
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Plus, if you've found yourself hitting major walls in the job search misadventures, sometimes it's best to take a pause and consider embracing a more radical approach that's less about action and more about inaction. Here's where the anti-work movement comes in. But what does this look like for Black women who literally need that coin to pay bills, take care of their children, splurge on that international trip, or reinvest in a side hustle? Let's get into it.
What Is the Anti-Work Movement?
Back in 2021, Black women led during the Great Resignation, and the Anti-Work Movement also gained steam, with more than 800,000 Reddit users "contemplating unemployment for all, not just the rich," according to Forbes. By 2023, the BBC reports, subscribers contributing to (or at least silently interested in) the conversation increased to 1.7 million.
The whole premise of the Anti-Work Movement centers on redefining what a healthy work environment really looks like. It's about taking companies to task about how well professionals are compensated for their gifts, time, and talents (or not), and to advocate for ways to make money that don't involve giving your blood, sweat, tears, and survival to a company for pennies on the dollar.
With the anti-work movement, there's also a sense of community where people can actually find others who relate to their struggles, who are offering solutions for a better way of working and living, and are calling out companies and managers who accommodate toxic work cultures and systems.
How The Anti-Work Movement Impacts Black Women
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With the anti-work movement, there's a sense of fighting for quality versus quantity, prioritizing self-care and balance, and fighting against exploitation, imbalance, and greed. For Black women, this can be essential, vital, and life-saving.
"I am only able to have a life-giving rest practice because I have boundaries that center my divinity. I don’t attach my worth to my accomplishments, to-do list or career," writes Tricia Hershey, founder of the Nap Ministry, an activism and community organization that promotes the liberating benefits of rest, recently wrote on her website. "I truly never have and I’m so grateful for this feat. Even when I was unemployed, I knew deep down I was enough and my life was worth so much. It’s as if capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy had not hooked its beast-like tentacles into my being. I had escaped."
And while the Nap Ministry centers on rest advocacy and not on avoiding work altogether, it presents the perfect example of how a shift in strategy and thought process—especially when it comes to the stress and anxiety associated with a high-powered, high-paying job or a very frustrating job search—can totally change your life for the better.
Hershey's insights on unemployment (and the success evidence of her platform to the tune of more than 555,000 Instagram followers, in-demand speaking opportunities, and recent book release) prove that you, too, can survive releasing the stress and reevaluating your why in order to find peace and get your sanity back.
In her research, “You Won’t Break My Soul: Black Women’s Contemporary Anti-Work Philosophies and Post-Work Experiences,” Dr. Sharla Berry, a Southern California scholar and lecturer, explores how Black women are considering and testing out contemporary anti-work philosophies and making shifts that challenge “collective action and policy” and moves toward “individual responses to the problems of work.”
When asked last year about her interest in exploring the topic of anti-work, she indicated that the curiosity was sparked by something she could relate to. “I was doing some research, I guess, to support how I was already feeling and how so many Black people were feeling which is this idea that work is not working for us,” Berry said during a July 2024 interview with Blacktivism In The Academy podcast.
“I think what’s important about anti-work is that it doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t work,” she continued. “We still live in a capitalistic society, so not working, for many, may not be accessible or practical, though increasingly Black people are to make it, so, and we can talk about that. I think the larger idea is a stance, it’s a way of thinking critically about work, it’s a way of resisting the supremacy of work in your life, it’s an approach to organizing and collaborating around resisting work, and it's a way of thinking about how you lead and the role you take on as a boss, a manager, in your own head and in others’.”
The Unique Ways Black Women Can Embrace Anti-Work Philosophy
For Black women, the foundational concepts of the Anti-Work Movement (and the subsequent self-discovery and self-exploration that can be inspired by it) present its own set of empowering enlightenment, and a rethinking of the return on investment of your grind. (And of course, there are double-edge-sword-like challenges, since we still face workplace discrimination, unequal pay, disproportionate numbers related to serving as head of household (or breadwinner), and oh, there's that disparity of white and socioeconomic privilege related to having limits on our choices when it comes to when, where and how we earn our money.)
There are ways we can empower ourselves by simply considering the different ways of thinking about how we approach work, job seeking, and placing value on how we spend our time. Here's how:
1. Rethink your ultimate overall "why" and how work feeds that "why."
This is especially important during a job search where you're not getting callbacks or you're being offered low-quality experiences for low or inadequate pay. I've experienced this, especially as a self-employed freelancer, and I've walked away from opportunities simply because I'd outgrown them and wanted more, even when I didn't have a Plan B. I just wouldn't settle for other offers to do the same work for the same pay.
I've always enjoyed pouring into others and I find joy in being able to sleep peacefully at night knowing I've made a real, tangible, measurable difference. I like being known for leadership and being visible (and openly rewarded both verbally and financially) for my impact on a company or a team.
I began to think about my bottom line, which wasn't being able to afford designer clothes or a five-bedroom house, but doing work that makes my soul smile while, at the same time, being able to afford to pay affordable basic bills, buy a few dozen new books and art every month, and enjoy the priceless elements of life like friendship, fellowship, and enriching travel experiences.
Consider taking a detour from that hyper-focus on your current industry and work a retail, remote, or gig job. Put some pressure on that side hustle and get it going. Those actions might be the better move than sending that 100th resume for that corporate marketing job.
Sometimes embracing an anti-work approach means downsizing, selling everything and moving to another city or country, finding other ways to finance lodging (ie becoming a resident assistant, live-in nurse, or joining the Peace Corps), or finally monetizing that YouTube channel that's been collecting digital dust. It might be tapping into your artistic side, applying for grants, or unapologetically going hard polyworking until you reach your sabbatical fund goal.
2. Slowly give less power to being booked and busy, and more power to self-reflection and service.
Service opportunities can put you in rooms that might have been closed to you as a random, faceless job seeker. Many CEOs, hiring managers, and executives give of their time and money to various causes, so any time you can set $50-$200 to buy a ticket to a gala or fundraiser, or you can volunteer (for free) for major causes for civic organizations, educational institutions or churches, do it.
Find people you can network with, carpool to save costs and ask for help. The anti-work movement also includes a huge component dependent on community-building and human engagement (as activism always does), so get out of that LinkedIn inbox and out in those volunteer streets.
At one time, when I was in between clients and the bills were piling up, I decided to stop with the follow-up emails and find out how I could use my talents pro bono through Taproot Foundation. I ended up connecting with a savvy nonprofit founder serving youth in Jamaica and helped the organization redevelop elements of its branding and messaging. It was a big boost to my confidence after weeks of nos and no responses and reminded me that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I was also, shortly after the project ended, able to add to my portfolio for a job I landed.
3. Release the pressure of worrying about what others might think and really lean deeply into your calling through alternative exploration.
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When you're forced to be creative and innovative, it's a great opportunity to see what you're truly made of and free yourself from the leash that is public (or family) approval. Many of us grow up being told that when you're not working you're "lazy," "unaccomplished," or "not winning," and there's this unnecessary shame attached to it for those of us who are accomplished, smart ambitious professionals simply going through the motions of real life.
Whenever I'd find myself unemployed--whether I quit or was let go---I'd hear my Granny's judgmental (but lovingly concerned) voice in my head saying, "How you lose a good job like that?" Sometimes that "good job" is a detriment to our physical and mental health or it can be the one thing that's hindering us from doing what we're truly on Earth to do simply because we're scared of the scorn and shame of quitting. And we have every right to outgrow a role or industry.
Taking some time off of that job search, finding ways to maximize your savings, investments, and other financial support resources, and radically rethinking your approach to making money can definitely help to strengthen your sense of self, your skills, and your ability to overcome anything life throws your way.
Listen, I've worked call center jobs, did DoorDash (where dogs all but attacked me for a huge trough of chicken on a back country road), and even lived off of a severance check for a while with no effort to look for a job at times when I decided to fully release and allow God to do His thing.
Each experience taught me something deeply profound about self-reliance and independence. They reinforced that I am a slave to no job, rejection email, client contract, outstanding bill, or title. I can do all things, as God intended, and I can live fully and abundantly regardless of an economy or unemployment rate.
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