

Gee, I think we've all had moments when we've gotten out of bed, went into the bathroom to style our hair and, it seems like no matter what we do, nothing comes out as we planned. Ugh. Usually what we call that is a "bad hair day," right? Oh, but is it really? If you've been finding yourself wearing more head wraps and hats these days and you've chalked it up to having more bad hair days than usual, I just want to provide you with a few things to consider — ones that, if you take them into serious consideration, you could end up having a whole lotta less bad hair days in your future.
First of All, There Is Absolutely No Such Thing As “Bad Hair”

You know what's a trip about bad hair days? Have you ever noticed that when it seems like you have one that a whole lot of other stuff isn't going all that right either? What I mean by that is, it's not usually that our hair decides that all of a sudden, it's not going to cooperate. Sometimes, we woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Other times, we're rushing too much to give our tresses the time that it needs and deserves. Many times, we didn't "prep it well" the night before.
Whatever the case may be, the main thing to keep in mind is, no matter how much your hair may seem to be throwing a bit of a temper tantrum right along with you at any given time, there really is no such thing as "bad hair". Therefore, if your hair seems to be showing out a bit, it's usually not because of your actual hair (so don't do anything drastic just yet) but some other circumstances that could be causing it to not get in line with what you want it to do. I call these "hair inconveniences". Inconveniences like what?
6 Hair Inconveniences That Can Lead to Bad Hair Days
Too Much Humidity

OK. Since most of us have some sort of curly texture to our hair, that's a part of the reason why it stays drier than non-Black women's locks do. The "science" of it all is the natural sebum that comes from our scalp has difficulty moisturizing our strands from root to tip, due to the twists and turns that it experiences while trying to get down our hair shaft. As a direct result, we have to take a few extra steps in order to keep our hair hydrated such as deep conditioning, sealing our ends, sometimes using a humectant on our hair and/or sleeping with a humidifier.
However, as with most things in life, there is such a thing as "too much of a good thing". In this case, when our hair is affected with too much humidity, that won't only result in shrinkage but frizzing too. So, if your hair is frizzy as all get out and you sleep with a humidifier every night, you might want to turn your setting down. If you're going to use heat to style your hair, make sure you apply a thermal heat protectant (it will protect your hair from outdoor humidity). And when you're styling your hair, in general, applying some whipped shea butter certainly can't hurt. It will help to add a little "weight" to your hair, so that it can combat frizz while also making sure that your hair maintains the moisture that it needs.
Maryam Hampton is a popular YouTuber who has a video that can walk you through how to make whipped shea butter from the comfort and convenience of your own home. You can check it out here.
Too Little or Too Much Protein
I don't know about you but a huge mistake that I tend to make is not giving myself a regular protein treatment. This is necessary because well, your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin). According to most professional stylists, a protein treatment is something that needs to happen every 4-6 weeks.
So, how do you know if your hair needs a protein treatment? It doesn't have a lot of elasticity. It's limp and can't hold a style. It's breaking a lot. You've recently color-treated your hair. It feels "gummy" to the touch. If any of these things are the case, no wonder you're having a so-called bad hair day. And what if you're someone who actually does give yourself protein treatments but you're not sure if you're overdoing it? If your hair feels super stiff, is hard or brittle, lacks sheen, snaps off at the ends rather easily and/or you've got more tangles or split ends than usual — lay off on the protein treatments for a couple of months and focus on deep conditioning your hair instead.
For the record, a conditioner that has jojoba in it is awesome because that is something that is really effective when it comes to treating protein-sensitive hair. Give it a shot if your hair seems to be over-processed from protein.
It’s Time for a Cut (or Trim)
If you've got a lot of fairy knots. If your hair can't seem to hold any definition or style. If your ends are "see through" and straggly. If your locks seem "stuck" when it comes to growth. If it's been a couple of months since you've put some shears to your head. These are all strong indications that you need to either get a cut, a trim or at least that you need to dust your own ends (you can watch a video on how to do that here). If you ignore these signs, not only do you increase your chances of having even more bad hair days, you also run the risk of damaging your hair even more because, the less your hair does what you want it to do, the more prone you will be to constantly manipulating it with styling tools or even your hands. That's why you really should make a practice of trimming/dusting every eight weeks or so and getting a professional cut once a season (no less than twice a year).
You Need to Switch Up Your Hair Products
I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who has at least one space that is designated for all kinds of hair products — and at least 65 percent of them, you don't even use.
While finding the right ones that complement your hair are about as taxing as finding the right partner, it's important to keep in mind that 1) just because a particular product might work for your favorite YouTube naturalista or even one of your girlfriends, that doesn't mean that it's going to work for you and 2) there are clear signs when a product isn't really your hair's homie — if it leaves behind a ton of build-up or residue; it irritates your scalp; it zaps out moisture; it reduces volume; it severely alters your hair texture; it makes your hair less manageable; it causes the color of your hair to fade at an accelerated pace and/or it doesn't complement the season that you're in.
For instance, when it's cold outside, you're probably going to use your central heat more. That, on top of the fact that cold air can actually raise your hair's cuticles and dry them out, you need to make sure that you not only deep condition your hair, each and every wash day, but that you add an oil like grapeseed (it adds moisture and shine); avocado (it adds moisture and repairs damaged hair); olive (it softens and boosts your hair's antioxidant levels); argan (it protects your hair and scalp from environmental damage) and/or pumpkin seed oil (it nourishes your hair follicles and increases volume) to your conditioner (even if you use a leave-in conditioner), so that your hair is provided with extra moisture and your scalp is provided with extra protection. During the warmer months, your hair needs products that will protect it from UV damage, creams and gels that will encourage less heat styling and deep conditioning masks to combat things like sweat, salt water and chlorine.
Bottom line, failing to alter your products with the seasons or not observing how your hair is reacting to a particular product can also lead to bad hair days, if you're not careful.
You Need to Switch Up Your Mood
Maybe it's just me but it seems like if I'm already in a bad mood, it's about a definite that I'm going to be hypercritical when it comes to my looks or mad impatient while I'm in the process of figuring out what the heck to do with my hair. That's why, if you know that you know that you know that you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, avoid a mirror for a while. Instead, do some meditating; listen to some of your favorite (non-triggering) music; eat a favorite food that will put you in a good mood (check out "In A Bad Mood? These Foods Will Lift Your Spirits!" and "Eating Well: 10 Foods That Can Improve Your Mental Health"); throw on a hat and take a quick walk outdoors; engage in some morning or shower sex; audibly declare some things that you love about yourself or pull out your gratitude journal and jot down some things that you are truly thankful for. Once you do something that can offer up some "silver linings", it'll be easier to look at your hair with the love and patience that it truly deserves.
You Need to Give Your Hair a Break
Think about it for a second. How would you feel if you were constantly being tugged or pulled on? My point is, sometimes, what we perceive to be a bad hair day is simply the universe's way of saying, "Give your hair a break, why don't you?" That same-placed ponytail is adding too much pressure to the same spot on your head. That flat iron is starting to damage your hair's natural texture. The way you've been parting your hair is training it to not be very flexible anymore. Sometimes, all we need to do with a so-called bad hair day is just…leave our hair alone. Put on that turban, hat, wig or weave and just give it a chance to be totally left alone. Or we can really go all out and just let it do…whatever it wants to do.
Was this little write-up supposed to convince you that your hair is always going to cooperate with you? Nope. That's not how life works. Hopefully, though, it helped to shed some light on the fact that oh, about 7 times outta 10, you've got more control over bad hair days than you've probably been giving yourself credit for. Now that you know that, seize the bad hair days, sis! Straight up.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Life In Full Bloom: 10 Ways To Absolutely Make The Most Out Of This Spring Season
Chile, the fact that we are already less than two months away from the middle of this year lets me know that time is on steroids. As unbelievable as it may seem, here we are, right on the very brink of spring — it’s a new season and with that should come a few new approaches to this thing called life.
Although it’s pretty customary for me to present some spring-themed content (more to come on that, by the way), this time, I wanted to offer up a semi-brief 10-point plan for making the most ofMarch 20-June 20, 2025. Because since time is moving so swiftly, now more than ever, it’s important to make the absolute most of each and every day.
And so, as far as this spring is concerned, here are some ways to do exactly that, sis.
1. Take Advantage of the “Extra” Hour
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If you’ve ever wondered about the backstory of daylight savings, in 1918, the Standard Time Act was introduced in order for us to have an extra hour of sunlight. And while the feelings about daylight savings time are a bit of a mixed bag (for instance, some studies say that it reduces productivity and disrupts sleeping patterns), if you’re someone who feels more energized when the sun is out, you prefer to drive when it’s brighter outside and/or you need the sun for the sake of your mental health (because it sunlight does help to decrease depression-related symptoms) — use “springing forward” as an opportunity to take advantage of all of this.
Because, when you have a full to-do list on a daily basis, you never know what that extra hour can help you to accomplish. Real talk.
2. Get More Vitamin D into Your System
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Speaking of more sunlight, as the days get longer, why not take walks after dinner or enjoy a cocktail or mocktail in your backyard? Both of these options are very easy ways to get more vitamin D into your system — and that’s especially important for us as Black women because our extra melanin makes it harder for our skin to absorb the vitamin D that comes from the sun.
That said, since vitamin D helps to boost immunity, fight off heart disease, regulate our moods, aid in weight loss, and strengthen bones and muscles and the the sun is getting brighter and the weather is getting warmer as we speak, why not absorb all of the benefits of that vitamin D (from the sun) has to offer — just as soon as you possibly can?
3. Become More Creative
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Did you know that, as it gets warmer outside, your dopamine levels start to increase? This is cool to know because dopamine is a neurotransmitter that plays a direct role when it comes to your moods, how you experience pleasure, your attention span, your memories, and your ability to learn. And that’s why there is quite a bit of data that says spring can help you to become a more creative individual.
So, if you’ve been thinking about taking an art class, launching a website or even just writing a poem or song, this would be the time of year to do it. Why wait?
4. Be Open to a (More) Romantic Relationship
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Here’s something that might trip you out. If you’re starting to think more about dating, commitment, and/or sex right through here, the spring season may have something to do with that. Yep, according to science, during the wintertime, your serotonin levels are lower than they are during the warmer months. And since serotonin (a natural body chemical) plays a role in things like your mood and even your libido, if someone (you trust) wants to set you up on a blind date — why not go? You never know what the spring season may bring you. #wink
5. Realize That Humidity Does Have Beauty Benefits
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As it gets warmer, it’s pretty common for humidity to go up a notch too. And since humidity levels are simply based on the amount of water vapors that are in the air at any given time, your skin can certainly reap some of the rewards of there being more moisture in the air. Humidity can give your skin more hydration. Humidity can help new skin cells to turnover at an accelerated rate. Humidity can even slow down the signs of aging. And all of this is just one more reason to spend more time outdoors (with some sunscreen on your face and body, of course).
6. Spring Cleaning Can Get Things (Back) in Order
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Although many people think about hitting those baseboards whenever spring cleaning comes to mind, I’ve written articles for the platform like “Yes Couples, You Can 'Spring Clean' Your Sex Life” and “Let's Finally 'Spring Clean' ALL Of Our Exes Out Of Our Lives, Shall We?” as a reminder that, at the end of the day, spring cleaning should really be about (re)organizing your home and your life, in general.
This includes cleaning up your house; putting away winter clothes; clearing out emails and texts that you no longer need; reevaluating your relationships; setting some new goals when it comes to your purpose, passion, and career, and cultivating a schedule that will help you to make the most of your time.
7. Enjoy Your Local Farmers Market
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Apples, apricots, avocados, cabbage, collard greens, kale, garlic, pineapples, strawberries and turnips. Wanna know something that all of these foods have in common? They’re all in season in the springtime. Know what else? There’s a really good chance that you’ll be able to find them at your local farmers market.
I adore the farmers market for a few reasons. For one thing, the produce tends to be fresher than it is at the grocery store. Another thing? Oftentimes everything is cheaper. Not to mention the fact that by shopping at a farmers market, you are literally supporting the local farmers in your area. Plus, it can be an awesome date experience. Enjoy a couple of hours perusing the market and, if things go really well there, cook some of the things that you purchased and have a picnic later on. Perfection.
8. Spend (More) Time with Your Homies
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Quality time is something that we all need when it comes to nurturing our friendships. So, also use the spring season to hang out with your peeps more. Have a rooftop dinner. Go to the zoo. See a play or movie together in the park. Enjoy wine tasting, miniature golf, or go hiking. TIME once published an article entitled, “Why Spending Time with Friends Is One of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Health.” Check it out when you get a chance. Then send your friends an invite to welcome the new season in.
9. Embrace the Extra Safety
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Guess what else is pretty cool about spring — it’s reportedly the time of year when the least crime occurs. Interestingly enough, although the summertime is when quite a bit of crime goes down, the spring season is when (for instance), your car is least likely to be broken into. Just one more reason to feel pretty good about being outdoors right now.
10. Start Over. That’s What Spring Means.
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I’m pretty big on symbolism and the spring season certainly has some. Spring represents things like rebirth, renewal, starting over and even finding new love. So, if you’ve been feeling like you’re in a bit of a rut as of late and you’re ready for a change, the spring season comes with the type of energy that can encourage and inspire you.
A poet by the name of Christian Rossetti once said, “Spring is when life’s alive in everything.” Plant some seeds of newness in your life — watch how spring blooms for you once you do. Happy Spring, y’all!
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