Between mid-March and early June, we kept our eyes and ears glued to the news waiting on the bat signal permitting us to go outside and play again. We even listened to our governors' guidelines for three different reopening phases trying to figure out how soon we can schedule a happy hour with our girls or a wax, nail, and hair appointment at our favorite spas and salons.
But naturally, we also second-guessed these initial dates that our governors set because the 'Rona hadn't disappeared, it was way too soon especially when the numbers were still rising and our common sense warned us it's probably best to stay in our cribs.
None of that has changed yet. And when I really think about it, 'the Rona has every intent to take over our hot girl summer and with an anticipated second wave in the fall, are we destined to stay inside until this time 2021?
To be honest, I can't quarantinethat long. I have moves to make and my introversion won't allow me to remain sane in a group setting for such an extended period. In no way am I dismissing anyone's circumstances or the seriousness of this virus, though. To date, we've lost over 132K of our fellow neighbors right here in the U.S and this virus disproportionately affects us. We're three times as likely to become infected and twice as likely to succumb to the virus. So, this isn't something I take lightly.
Nevertheless people are slowly returning to their homes if they've been quarantined with others as well as venturing out to regain some semblance of a "normal" life. Besides, I've seen the fresh box braids and manicures on my newsfeed and I'm like, sis, you didn't do that yourself.
I've also seen a video clip of our people, masks off like the Future song, frolicking in a freakin' pool inside of an Atlanta nightclub. This was before Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms announced that she has tested positive for coronavirus.
Yet, instead of stressing, "Stay home!" to the party-goers with a period and the added "T" when people are steadily going out anyway, I'm taking a different approach to highlight the gravity of COVID-19.
Let's take a look at various non-essential spaces, examine how sanitary or risky they are right now and explore alternative options and precautions to maintain our health.
Disclaimer: This article is not a directive to be reckless and engage in high-risk behavior during a pandemic. Instead, it is a comprehensive breakdown of how to navigate spaces outside of your home and minimize your chances of exposure while doing so. None of these methods are 100% effective at avoiding coronavirus. Return to your new "normal" at your discretion.
Hair and Nail Salons
Unfortunately, the risk for a COVID-19 infection remains high at salons and barbershops regardless of any safety precautions because clients and employees can't realistically maintain a distance of 6 feet between one another. And if you're the one providing the service, you face an even greater risk because of the number of clients entering the shop daily. What's even more disturbing is that one person who enters the shop with COVID-19 symptoms can easily expose at least 100 clientele depending on how busy the establishment is, which is what happened at a St. Louis salon.
Safety tip: If you do go to the salon, stick with services that don't require you to remove your mask. In other words, that lip wax would have to wait. And only request one or two "emergency" services, not the full works, so you can shorten your time at the establishment. Check to be sure stylists are disinfecting chairs including headrests between clients and wearing single-use gloves.
Also, while it may be normal for you to chat with your stylist, it's suggested you refrain from your usual conversations. And don't grab a magazine to pass the time. In fact, they should already be removed from the waiting area and work stations.
You may also want to check to see if your fave shop offers extended hours to minimize the number of clients who are in the space at one time or a private room to accommodate clients who seek extra precautions.
And if you go to the nail shop, don't expect to test any colors. Better yet, take your own polish or get you some Kiss Luxe press-ons from Target or CVS.
Restaurants and Bars
Full disclosure: My cousin and I ate in a restaurant during lunchtime in mid-June. There was a maximum number of patrons who could dine at once and no one was seated behind us or next to us. Additionally, all condiments like ketchup bottles and salt and pepper shakers were removed from the tables and our menu was disposable. And if I remember correctly, so was our silverware.
While the sign on the door mandated that all patrons wear masks, not everyone who entered the establishment had one on. Granted, you can't eat and drink with your mask on but this is why restaurants and bars (and clubs, too!) will continue to be high-risk.
Safety tip: Outdoor or patio seating is a tad bit safer than inside dining, provided the seating isn't along a sidewalk where potentially unmasked people are constantly walking by. If your state allows you to dine-in, choose large, well-ventilated restaurants that can abide by the 6-feet social distancing rules as well as operate with fewer staff (with masks!) and patrons. And if you enter a restaurant and there's a full-on buffet, exit immediately.
It's also safer to dine out with those you've quarantined with rather than meet up with friends you haven't seen in the past four months. And, of course, there's definitely the carryout option or no-contact delivery where the driver leaves your food (protected) at your front door.
Gyms And Spas
Shutterstock
Gyms are danger zones. They can be tricky because the equipment is practically side-by-side and then there's moisture from sweat. Furthermore, how plausible is it that the gym staff can sanitize every bit of equipment between each use? Spas are also iffy with skin-to-skin contact. And while I'm yearning to get back in the yoga studio, I realize it's too tight and that community equipment like the yoga blocks are also hard to clean.
Safety tip: One word: towels. Plural. And wipes. Next, check to be sure that the gym has restricted access to every other machine and possibly placed barriers around equipment. Some gyms may even require members to reserve a block of time to use the gym and staff will clean in between blocks.
Also ask about the facility's updated policies regarding the usage of locker rooms. And although it's not the same as being on-site, there's also an option to workout virtually. Or outside.
If you book an appointment for a massage, ask the spa about their laundry policy for linens, towels, and other washable items. Also, ensure that your massage therapist follows hand-washing and hygiene protocols like definitely wearing a mask and maybe some clean gloves.
Airports, Airplanes, Hotels, and Airbnbs
Airports and airplanes are high-traffic areas. No pun intended. But apparently they're not as high-risk as gyms, salons, restaurants, and churches. Although now I can't get the thought out of my head that, as one of my friends recently pointed out, everyone stands up and crowds one another once the plane lands.
Safety tip: Before you book your flight, check travel advisories with both your airline and your destination. The last thing you want to do is arrive in another state and find out you need to self-quarantine for 14 days. Also, ensure that the middle seats on your airline are empty and find out for how long. (For example: Southwest isn't opening the middle seat until after September 30th.)
You're currently allowed to carry on 12 ounces of hand sanitizer so take advantage of it. Bring your wipes and wipe down the seats, trays, and armrests, although the airlines are supposed to disinfect between every landing and takeoff. And don't look for magazines, pillows, and blankets.
When you check-in to your hotel, find some cleaning supplies and disinfect high-touch surfaces such as doorknobs, light switches, remotes, and faucet handles. And if you opt for an Airbnb, reserve the entire property or ask how many people will be in and out of the residence during your stay.
Churches
While places of worship are traditionally safe spaces, they are considered among the unsafest when it comes to COVID transmission. Right now, I'm fine with Bedside Baptist. In fact, I just "attended" church online with viewers of the 2020 Virtual Essence Fest. I still got the word and some praise and worship with Tamela Mann. Hallalu! (In my Tamar Braxton voice.)
Safety tip: Some churches are hosting parking lot services where everything takes place outside and parishioners can remain in their cars. But if you're attending service inside of a church, check to see if there's a limit on the size of the congregation. Maybe the church will add services and clean in between. But still avoid touching hymnals and the collection plate. Use apps on your phone to read scriptures and tithe or use a stationary collection box.
As the weeks progress, guidelines may change and perhaps our governors will simply shut down establishments all over again. While that might be the downfall of many small businesses, it'll be a windfall for us who are doing way too much, way too fast.
However, if and when we do go outside, I just need us to remain well-informed and exercise extreme caution. Always wear your masks, scrub your hands and maintain those six feet like our lives literally depend on it because, well, they really do.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock.
RELATED
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
