

When you reflect on your wins from this year and what you’d like to get out of the rest of 2023, what comes to mind?
Are there fitness goals you want to put into action? Is there a follower count you’d like to hit on social media? Maybe you hope to land your next dream job. Whatever the case may be, the end of the year has a way of illuminating our personal goals — and when prioritized correctly, they’re more than possible to obtain.
Depending on what kind of year you’ve had, you may opt for a soft landing to cap off the end of the year, while others may use the last remaining days to pack in final goals and lay the foundation for the year ahead.
And if you’ve been anywhere near TikTok these days, you may have noticed that many users are getting a head start on their 2024 plans to “become unrecognizable'' and are using a new strategy to do so.
Enter the Q4 Glow Up Plan.
Your Q4 2024 Glow Up Plan
@jodiektay Your 2024 glow up starts now! All the things you need to do to have your best year yet #jodiesgems #networking #glowup #glowuptips #personalbrand #greenscreen
You might be thinking that a Q4 Glow Up Plan is just another variation for a vision board or simple goal setting, but it’s a lot more than that. It’s a game plan. This strategic roadmap helps individuals optimize the few days left in the year so that life doesn’t just happen to you, but instead, gives you direction on where your time and energy goes.
The concept was recently popularized by TikTok creator and a corporate senior director, Jodie Taylor. She explains that the plan allows you to give your life a SWOT analysis (a marketing term meaning strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats) to identify areas of growth.
Taylor “has a plan for everything,” which sparked the inspiration behind the Glow-Up Plan.
During the pandemic, she utilized her free time to consult with a life coach, therapist, and physical trainer; a decision that ultimately changed the trajectory of her life. “I began to see the net benefit of what it looks like when you have support and you're intentional over the course of three months or six months and co-create your life,” she tells xoNecole.
Many of us become motivated to regain control over our lives after spending weeks or even months on auto-pilot, only to wake up and not know where the days went. Approaching the end of the year from a place of strategy not only provides us with a routine to follow but also gives us tangible steps to follow in order to awaken the change we desire.
"I began to see the net benefit of what it looks like when you have support and you're intentional over the course of three months or six months and co-create your life."
@jodiektay Part 2 of your 2024 Glow Up Plan #jodiesgems #networking #glowup #glowuptips #personalbrand #greenscreen
But before we can take action, we must first reflect.
“Optimize and reflect back on how you felt in the past year,” she says. “What did you enjoy the most and what experiences do you want more of — whether that's financial freedom, increased relationship, or social network? How can you do your best to ensure that you are creating the roadmap and intentionality to have next year look even better.”
Striving to achieve numerous goals in a limited time can be an overwhelming experience. Thankfully, there are tools in place that can help us move in the right direction. For starters, Taylor recommends using a wellness wheel as a “diagnostics test” to rate the top areas of your life from 1-10.
“See what you're really happy and excited about and what areas of your life that you wish looked differently,” she says. “Then you can create your wellness or glow-up plan from there.”
Taylor likes to break down her glow-up plan into four main quadrants: physical appearance, social, career/finances, and intellectual/spiritual. For professional and personal development in particular, she’s found success in building new connections by attending conferences and galas, joining local junior boards, and investing in a life coach in order to grow her network and build confidence.
“Having ownership of your life is such a freeing feeling,” she says. “I think there's times when you feel like a passive bystander in your own life. But life is so rewarding when you have a clear vision of what you want your life to look like; but more importantly, feel like.”
Ultimately, glowing up by the end of the year is more than just doing an internet trend to change your outward appearance — it’s about leveling up your mindset and self-concept to believe that you’re both worthy and deserving of your dream life.
If you see what you’re capable of in just 30 or 60 days, imagine what you’ll achieve when the next 365 come back around.
“I think sometimes the action comes before the thought,” she says. “Meaning that when you practice these things, you slowly begin to change how you think about yourself. If you fundamentally want to change your life and change how you view yourself, committing to small actions and identifying changes over time will gradually transform you into that person.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak