

As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is The Keshinros' story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
So, my husband and I met on Tinder.
Internationally.
We were both working in Peru but in different cities. Me, as a chiropractor, fresh off of a three-month stay in Ghana, seeking a new start by relocating to the country. I never saw black people (well, maybe one every four to five months) in Peru so I think this drove me to join Tinder—totally hopeful that I would somehow, someway find other black people. My husband, Ola, is a professional basketball player, landing in my town for a basketball tournament. After connecting on the app, we missed an opportunity to actually meet in person. But as luck would have it, his team was invited to a second tournament in my town two weeks later. After he arrived for the second time, we had our first date where we talked for hours and hours at a coffee shop. This date was different, nothing like I had been used to in the past. Shortly after, he left for Spain—9000 miles away.
But even far apart, neither of us could shake each other. So, we decided to see what was between us.
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I was born Dominica (Caribbean), but also raised in Miami. Ola is born American but raised in Nigeria. As we began dating, we quickly learned that although we are from different sides of the world, our cultures are so similar (of course because everything began in Africa).
My village in Dominica had no more than 200 people that lived there, so for as long as I can remember, I was a big fish in small pond. I always dreamt big, throwing myself into my education, something I considered as my way to a better life. My family eventually migrated to Miami, which was definitely a culture shock to say the least. I ultimately adjusted, and have lived in the states since.
As for Ola, he is super family-oriented. Like me, he was also partly raised by his grandmother who instilled in him values of honesty and integrity. His first love was soccer but after a growth spurt at age 16, he gave it up and transitioned to basketball. He moved back to the U.S. for college at 18. He's the better cook and a true team player. I'm the small town girl, that's very outgoing and active in my community. Our qualities caused us to naturally gravitate toward each other's energies, which is why our love blossomed.
Back to our dating story, after meeting overseas, our friendship organically evolved over time and we decided to enter an exclusive, long-distance relationship—which lasted for five years (our entire relationship).
And yes, ladies, it was tough at times.
There were times where I traveled to Spain (or wherever he was located at the time), and he would be traded to a new team during the trip. We've spent countless holidays unsure of what was next. We would go months and months of no physical touch. It was very hard. But it was also rewarding.
Wait, did, sis say "rewarding?" Yes, girl. Because it was.
It may sound crazy, but for us, long-distance was great. The first year was tough, sure, but within that time, we built so much trust, which is important. Of course, communication was key, but the long distance? The long distance allowed us space and time to grow individually—thus creating a strong foundation.
And for me, the more I learned to love myself, the better partner I became.
We got engaged May 2019 in Santorini, Greece, with plans for a Summer 2020 wedding. Ola was on his last go-round with overseas basketball, and I was settled in New York. But then...COVID. Because of the pandemic, he was summoned to come home five months earlier than expected, which as we all know, no one was mentally prepared to be locked up in the house for months at a time—especially New York, who was completely shutdown. But it was all a blessing in disguise because our quarantine has been amazing; it's been super fun. We've cooked, we've binge-watched shows, learned about investments. We even joined TikTok haha.
And now, oddly, thanks to the Rona, this is the longest time we have ever spent together in our entire relationship.
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You know, as a mental health advocate, I've learned the importance of knowing and appreciating where you are in life—and even appreciating the unknown. My husband used to always randomly say to me, "I appreciate you," which is what made him stand out to me. But in order to have my magical love story, in order to get to that other side, I had to be open to an unknown situation.
Ladies, you should absolutely be open to a long-distance relationship if distance is not a deal-breaker for you. And even if it is, you should still at least consider. It's not as scary as it may seem. Long-distance relationships can be the most fulfilling type of relationship there is.
And my advice to anyone that is considering one is this:
Only share this journey with the right person. Ladies, this life is not for everyone. And honestly, I'm not sure a long-distance relationship would be for me, had it been with anyone other than Ola. My husband and I are on the same page, we are truly best friends. We both know how important our relationship is to the other, and we admire, and most of all, respect that.
Communicate. Communication is the strongest form of love you can show to your partner. It's not possible to do this successfully, or in good health, without it.
Build up the woman you are. Love yourself before any person on this earth. It will reflect in your sustainable and key relationships.
Trust. Ladies, you know how we are, but refrain from any of that. If they've never given you a reason not to, trust your partner completely.
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Today, Ola and I are happily married, taking on this pandemic and doing life, together. We recently wed, in what we consider our mini wedding (we decided to postpone our destination wedding in Mexico, mainly because we have family members who live in other countries, including both of our moms). In the meantime, we wanted something simple, minimal yet beautiful, special, and memorable. We (really, I) picked Central Park because it represented me perfectly. I love the outdoors, nature, and water. We hired an officiant and a photographer for an hour. There was very little planning. Only our immediate family that lives in NY attended (my sister and niece, his sister and dad). There was no reception--we found a nice Italian restaurant near Central Park and we had lunch.
And we were dressed simply as well, him ASOS and me, FashionNova (did not wear white because I already have a white dress from the original wedding day).
It was perfect.
Our love story may be different from what most expect, but its ours. Ultimately, with the pandemic, and with currently living within the same city, we don't know what the future holds. But we do know that having four thousand miles between us, is a test we, without a doubt, can handle.
The Keshinros' big wedding may have been canceled but their marriage is not. They recently wed, and they're inviting you to join them on their journey by subscribing to their YouTube page. You can also follow their black love on Instagram at @ola.nes.
Feature image courtesy of BSM Photography.
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak