My fellow introverts, I know your struggle!
An office environment can be challenging for those of us who work better in solitude. I try to avoid sparking up a conversation at the coffee maker at all costs. Then it seems like when I do strike up a casual conversation, it's totally awkward (networking for awkward girls coming soon lol). Let's just say I'm known to blurt out a Joan Clayton quote or a Hangover II reference from time to time.
However, being new in my office has challenged me to learn how to be smart about networking and get comfortable with casually communicating with other great people in the office. Not only have I learned to speak to others, I've learned to communicate my strengths, my goals and even my value with those I work closely with. Now, I'd like to share my strategies with you.
So introverts, here's your guide to easy, effective, and non-awkward networking in the office.
Be Strategic With Your Approach.
It can be overwhelming to think about all the people in your office you should be meeting. However, getting strategic about who you meet can scale down the amount of people you actually NEED to meet and help you communicate effectively. Find out who's who. Network with people who could be of help to you. I work in accessories so I make sure to introduce myself to the fashion and beauty interns because they work closely with the same brands that I do. Who's to say they won't be employed at one of those places after their internship? Also make sure you communicate to them what you do, your interests and maybe even a little previous experience. They know what you do, you know what they do. If ever they need someone with your skills, they know where to find you. See, you don't have to try and meet everyone, just the one's who can help you get closer to your end goal.
Set a Daily Networking Goal.
Each day I set a small office-networking goal for myself. This goal usually coincides with whatever my long term goals are. I ultimately would like to get into more editorial work. So, my daily goal maybe something like: introduce yourself to two people on the editorial staff by end of day. Simple, doable and will get me noticed by people who could get me to where I'd like to be. Purposefully interact with people in the office. See, networking isn't so scary after all!
Don't Be Afraid To Ask Questions!
This may sound way too simple but it's super effective. Introverts don't always feel comfortable leading the conversation. A great way to start a conversation is to ask a question. This shows the person you are speaking with that you are interested in wanting to know about them and also leaves you without having to do too much talking. However, make sure you are asking the RIGHT questions. I go into office interactions to initially identify if a person and I can be mutually beneficial to one another. The way to do this is to ask questions. “How long have you been here?" “What did you do previously?" You can even ask what kind of things they like doing outside of work. Before too long, you'll arrive at something you two have in common and BOOM you've networked effectively. Look at you, getting out of your shell and thangs!
Lastly, don't underestimate the power of a hello in passing, a smile in the elevator and a simple, “How's your day going?" People take notice of kindness and sometimes these small gestures can spark up conversations that lead to opportunities.
Featured image by Getty Images
- An Introvert's Guide to Networking ›
- Networking for Introverts ›
- Networking for Introverts - 7 Simple Steps | HuffPost ›
- Shhh, quiet: an introvert's guide to networking | Guardian Careers ... ›
- An Introvert's Guide to Networking - The New York Times ›
- How Introverts Can Network Powerfully: 5 Key Ways To Rock At ... ›
- 9 networking tips for introverts | CIO ›
- Introverts: Creating A Network That Works For You ›
- Networking Tips for Introverts | Money ›
- How do I network if I am an introvert? ›
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak