Every few months or so, I'll intentionally peruse through cyberspace to see what's up in the sex trends department. I must say that there has never been one time when at least three things haven't made me respond with either a "For real?" or a "Gee, what is that?" This particular time, what got me was the high praise that the 70 sex position has been getting, the brain orgasms that we can apparently have and oh, yeah, vegan condoms (vegan condoms?!).
Some of my friends are so used to me hitting them up with this kind of random information, that most of them no longer share my inquisitive excitement. Instead, they are usually like, "Really girl? Let me call you back." (Le sigh) So, I decided that this go around, I would share my findings with y'all.
After checking out the 10 current sex trends that piqued my particular interest, feel free to post comments on your thoughts (especially if you've tried any of them), along with some of the other trends that you've been diggin' lately. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who is intrigued by this kind of stuff. Prove me right so that I can tell my peeps that they are the exception, not the rule.
1. 70 Sex Position
Back when I was in high school, I was on what was known as the Acros team. Basically, it was a combination of cheerleading and gymnastics. I joined, hoping that it would help me overcome my fear of heights. It didn't. What it did do was make me mad limber. I thought about that when I turned and twisted my head to figure out if my 45-year-old self could get into the new sex position that half of America is apparently super hyped about right now.
In a nutshell, it's the 2.0 version of the 69 position. The twist to the 70 position is, rather than two people lying down, this time, they are vertical. The man starts out on his knees so that his partner can turn her back to him, kick her legs up and then put her legs over his shoulders. Then he slowly stands up and the woman puts her hands on the floor to help him to support her body weight (basically like she's facing him while doing a handstand).
OK, it seems like some real strong backs and maybe a wall for extra support needs to come into play here, but if you and yours want to be trendy tonight, you'll be doing what all of the limber kids are if you attempt the 70 sex position. Good luck.
2. Vegan Condoms
Although I'm personally not a vegan, I do have mad support for the folks who are. It is admirable how committed they are to the cause. If that's you, you can be vegan-vegan-for-real if you decide to ditch the condoms that you currently have and invest in some vegan condoms instead. If you never considered prophylactics to be a non-vegan ally, many of them aren't due to the casein (a protein that's made from dairy) that's in them. Aside from the fact that vegan condoms contain no animal products, another bonus is they aren't apart of the whole animal testing process.
If reading all of this has piqued your interest, some vegan fan favorites are Glyde's Organic-Flavored condoms, Sustain Natural's Ultra-Thin condoms and Trojan Supra BareSkin Non-Latex Polyurethane condoms. These are just a few that guarantee to be good to you and for the environment.
3. Shower Sex
Another sex trend that's getting lots of buzz are people who want to have sex in bodies of water. If by "body of water", they mean ocean, something that it and pools tend to carry is the kind of bacteria that can disrupt your pH balance and cause a vaginal infection (just something to think about). And, as far as jacuzzis go, it's only as safe as the person who cleaned it before you got into it.
That pretty much leaves us with shower sex. It's fun, it's safer and it's a multi-tasking kind of location because you can get clean, have sex and then get clean again—all in the same spot. Plus, the heat from the water will relax your muscles and joints so that you can be more "bendy", and the water makes the need for (extra) lubricant totally unnecessary. A win/win on every hand.
4. Nude Lingerie
Something else that has its own trends is lingerie. Right now, as far as patterns, florals are big. As far as material, lace stays classic. In the panty department, cheeky briefs are what you should look for. Bra-wise, soft cups are the way to go.
Also, something that I saw quite a bit of was nude lingerie. If you have no idea where to start looking for some, spring of last year, we actually did a feature on Nubian Skin; it carries are nice collection. Enjoy.
5. The Snail Sex Position
I'm not sure how new or inventive this is. I'm also not sure who came up with the name or why. But a sex position that men and women are saying is making them very happy right now is the snail position. It's when the woman gets on her back and pulls her knees back to her chest as her partner kneels down in front of her and penetrates. Then she puts her ankles on his shoulders and—voila! Instant G-spot attention.
For some reason, I feel like this position used to go by a different name (feel free to confirm that in the comment section). Either way, if you want to do what's popular, having snail sex will have in you in the "in" crowd.
6. Airbnbs
Personally, I am a huge bed and breakfast fan. So much in fact, that I'll sometimes come out of nowhere and bless a married couple with a free night (or weekend, if I can find a good deal) at one. But for my friends who are a little on the "sexually loud" side, I'm learning that renting out an Airbnb is probably best. It's like having an entire house—that is not your own—to yourself so that you can scream, roll around and do whatever else without worrying that someone can hear you through the walls.
By the way, if you want to check out some of the country's best Airbnbs, click here. For some of the most unique, click here. Or, if you want to support a site that specifically caters to the African diaspora, click here.
7. Waterproof Vibrators
Something else that I found to be a huge trend are vibrators. But not just any ole' kind. I guess so that they can enjoy all of that shower sex that they're currently having (whether it's with someone or alone), customers want one that is waterproof. Some popular ones include the We-Vibe Tango Lipstick Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator, the VeDO Yumi Finger Vibe and the Womanizer Liberty Clitoral Stimulator.
Food for thought. I know these type of "accessories" will tempt you to run up your water bill, but just keep in mind that a lot of dermatologists say that washing up in lukewarm water for no more than five or 10 minutes is best. Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I'm just passing the info along.
8. Brain Orgasms
Is it just me or does it seem like every time we turn around, there is a new kind of orgasm? Just a couple of months ago, our managing editor shouted out 12. However, one that wasn't on the list, that is starting to gain more momentum, is what is known as the brain orgasm.
Technically, it's tied into the ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) relaxation phenomenon. If you're not familiar with what that is, an example that comes to mind is the fact that YouTube has an entire demographic of viewers who find people scratching up their dandruff to be calming. No joke! There's a sistah who has a channel that's called Scratching My Scalp Off that consists of 35,000 subscribers; some of her videos have gotten a couple of million views.
Anyway, whether it's listening to someone whisper, tap their nails or turn pages of a book (or scratching dead skin and fungus), it is becoming more and more common for individuals to admit that sound arouses them; sometimes to the point of climaxing. Oh, and before you shrug all of this off as some crazy wypipo stuff, check out "How ASMR Became a Full-On Rap Sensation" and "8 of the Best ASMR Moments in Hip-Hop". "Wait (The Whisper Song)", anyone?
9. Sliquid Silk Hybrid Lube for Women. Slippery Stuff Lubricant for Men.
It doesn't matter what publication or website that I checked out, when it comes to all things sex, "the more lube, the better" is mentioned somewhere in the copy. Honestly, you can pull out some Aloe Vera gel, Vitamin E or coconut oil (although you should avoid oil if you're using a condom; it can break down its effectiveness) and call it a day. But if you'd prefer to purchase some, I did some digging and found two faves—one for women and one for men.
As far as our needs go, a lot of ladies rave about Sliquid Silk Hybrid Lube. It's a purified water and silicone blend, vegan-friendly, works with all condoms, complements your natural lubricant and sits at a pH balance of somewhere between 4.0-4.4 (that's a good thing). Meanwhile, a lot of fellas are feelin' Slippery Stuff Lubricant. For starters, it was developed by the medical community so that men could get, umm, tested easier. It's water-based, non-staining and long-lasting. It's also the type of lube that professes to increase sensations whenever you use it. So yeah, if you've been in the market for lubricant, these two will hold you down pretty well.
10. Bondage for Women. Sex Tapes for Men.
Just one more trend and then I'll let you go so that you can test some of these out. Something else that I read is when it comes to sex bucket lists that both men and women have, what a lot of ladies want to check off of theirs is bondage scenarios (nothing too over the top; just stuff like restraints, blindfolds or handcuffs) and—surprise, surprise—men want to record their romps. If you do decide to oblige your partner and you two decide to record your naughtiness with your phone, make sure that you download an app to hide the evidence. After all, it's one thing to follow a sex trend. It's another thing to have your sex end up trending. Be safe. Have fun. Yes, in that order—y'all.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
We've Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity
Who Knew Oral Sex Has An Official Time Limit?
10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm
These 69 Positions Are Guaranteed To Get You Off
Feature image by Shutterstock
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak