

Have you ever wondered why it seems as if you can never catch a break financially? Or do you find yourself complaining that you're "broke" more times than you would like to admit? I want to let you in on a little secret: your money mindset plays a major role in the overall success of your finances.
Those myths that you keep telling yourself, and believe to be true may be what's holding you back, boo. Most of the time you're thinking these things on a subconscious level and may not even realize the damage that's being done. But once you gain clarity and call out your limiting beliefs for what they are, you'll finally be able to break free and reach new levels financially.
Let's dig into a few myths that have a direct impact on your money and are keeping you BROKE.
1. “Money is the root of all evil.”
Nah, this right here is a straight-up LIE! The truth is this: the LOVE OF MONEY is the root of all evil. When you think that money is the root of all evil, you're limiting yourself from keeping money, as well as receiving more of it. Without even knowing it, you might be scared of going after opportunities that will get you to the money.
Think about it. How can money be evil? Money is simply a resource that we control. Instead of believing and saying that money is the root of all evil, replace it with this supporting belief instead:
"Money is a resource and a means to do good and live well."
2. "I'm broke."
Broke is a mindset, boo. Your financial situation is shaped by how you think about money, which influences how you manage your money. Guess what? If you keep crying that you're broke, you're going to remain that way. All you are doing is reinforcing that limiting belief into the universe and your actions aren't gonna line up with what you need to do in order to get ahead.
It's imperative that you get a grip on this way of thinking and behaving, or else you'll never be able to break the cycle. I challenge you to think more in terms of abundance and believing that you can be wealthy. Are you up for the challenge?
3. "I can afford it."
You say that you can afford that pair of shoes and then turn around and realize that you don't even have enough money for gas the morning after. You can't just look at your checking account balance in the moment and think that everything is all good. Trust me, I've been there. This is where having a clear-cut, written budget comes in handy.
A budget is really just a spending/savings plan. It's a strategic system that lets you know how much money is coming in and going out every month. In reality, a budget can:
- Help you understand your financial situation and whether you can really afford something or not.
- Help you save for the things you want and do more of what you enjoy.
- Help you avoid getting caught short by bills you can't pay.
- Help you escape the paycheck-to-paycheck life.
4. "I deserve to treat myself."
How many "treats" do you need, sis? If you really sit down and keep it 100 with yourself, do you really deserve those so-called treats? Are you taking care of your responsibilities like you should be? Instead of buying things that you don't need (with money you don't have) and labeling them as a "treat," you should be treating yourself by investing in your future and saving some coins.
If you spend all of the money that you earn instead of saving and investing it, you will never create the financial abundance that you do desire to have.
Here's a tip: Try putting both your short-term and long-term savings on auto-pilot so you don't even notice the money that you could be missing. When you don't have to look at it, you aren't tempted by any "excess" that you might have.
5. "I need to make more money and then I'll be better with my finances."
If you can't manage the little that you have now, what makes you think that you're gonna be able to manage more money? The more money you make, the more you're gonna spend if you don't get those habits in check early on. You're going to go right back to complaining about your finances and crying that you're still broke and in need of even more money. You'll never be satisfied. There will never be enough money. Remember, there are former millionaires who are struggling out here in these streets because they wanted to live a "fake fancy" lifestyle and ball out of control.
Start by being content with the income that you currently have and handling it with better care. Learn the ins and outs of sound financial management now, so that when you're finally blessed with more, you'll be able to manage it with ease.
I challenge you to start thinking better, which will ultimately lead to you doing better. It's time to prioritize your finances in a way that you haven't done before if you want to level up this year. It's time to activate your discipline. It's time to finally do something different.
Make the commitment to yourself and decide that absolutely nothing's gonna stand in your way of breaking that broke mentality.
What’s better than being in love? Building an empire while doing it. Watch Making Cents to see how real couples turn their money dreams into money moves.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on January 5, 2018
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Kristin Sutton (aka the Money Therapist) is a personal finance and lifestyle blogger/coach over at DebtFreeBlackGirl.com that empowers young women to take control of their finances by changing the way they think about money. As a licensed therapist, her daily mission is to uncover and eliminate the mental roadblocks that hinder people from living the life of their dreams. You can find her on all things social: @DebtFreeBlkGrl
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak