A Movie Buff's Guide To The Ultimate Thanksgiving Movie Marathon
Thanksgiving is the ideal occasion to unwind, indulge, and enjoy movies with loved ones. Therefore, for your inevitable movie marathon, we have curated a selection of comedies, dramas, and thrillers to keep you and your family entertained. With so many fantastic Thanksgiving films to pick from, the ones on this list are guaranteed to bring you joy and tears through empathy and compassion. These films will serve as a mirror to your daily life and lighten the mood of the holidays, whether they bring back memories of your own family, your in-laws, or your friends.
Thanksgiving Movies To Watch That Focus on Family & Chosen Family Dynamics
The top 15 movies that you should watch this holiday season are listed in no particular order. Though they don't all revolve around Thanksgiving as a theme, they do involve family and chosen family. Some of them will make you think of the dysfunctional family you may be trying to avoid (The Temptations and Soul Food), the political arguments that everyone can't help but talk about (The Oath and Remember the Titans), or the chaos that has been created in your chosen family (Dreamgirlsand Friendsgiving). Whichever movie you choose, you'll be able to appreciate the various families that are reflected throughout the list.
Soul Food (1997)
What a crazy, dysfunctional family the Josephs are. From the opening scene to the rolling credits of the movie Soul Food, this family screams "red flag" brightly and boldly during the holidays. Yet, we can't help but watch their madness. Every Sunday, the family gathers for dinner adorned with soul food and inevitable family antics. However, the Joseph family experiences turmoil when "Big Mama" Joseph (Irma P. Hall), the family's matriarch, goes into a coma following a diabetic episode and limb amputation procedure.
From there, Ahmad (Brandon Hammond) observes his mother, Maxine (Vivica A. Fox), aunts Teri (Vanessa Williams) and Bird (Nia Long), and other family members as they attempt to keep up with the long-standing custom of Sunday dinners while falling back on old grudges, family rivalries, and a possible life without "Big Mama."
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967)
I'll give you one guess, but it's not Morgan Freeman, I promise. In a way, the 1967 romantic comedy Guess Who's Coming to Dinner was both ahead of its time and right on time. The renowned Sidney Poitier and Katharine Houghton portray an interracial couple who want to be married far too soon in this once-controversial romantic comedy classic. Joey Drayton brings her fiancé, the exceptionally talented Dr. John Prentice, back to her parents' house following a Hawaiian vacation. However, the sole issue is that Joey is white, and John is Black.
Their parents are taken aback to learn that their children plan to marry someone of a different race when they get to dinner. Consequently, the families discuss the challenges surrounding their son and daughter's nuptials and how they can possibly disband it.
The Wiz (1978)
Diana Ross. Michael Jackson. Mabel King. Richard Pryor. Nipsey Russell. Lena Horne. Ted Ross. All in one musical. That’s it. That’s the selling point. Those names alone should be a good enough reason for you to ease on down that yellow brick road. You’re welcome.
The Oath (2018)
The Oath captures just how frustrating it is to realize that you and your family have become so distant since your previous visit, just as you are going home for the holidays. And your family just won't stop talking about politics, even if there's an unwritten taboo about it. Your elderly uncle is bringing up something offensive with pride. The things your grandma is saying are inappropriate or no longer relevant in your culture. Your mom and dad are always discussing the wrong side of politics. Furthermore, your aunt won't stop talking about the candidates she supported and how America is rapidly going to hell in a handbasket. It's a mess. A hot mess, and it doesn't appear to be getting easier anytime soon.
This film depicts what happens when a family is so devoted to the past that they allow it to ruin the present. Chris and Kai (Tiffany Haddish) promise in the oath not to swear allegiance to the U.S. in exchange for tax breaks. Black Friday is the deadline, and it's a politically fraught Chris who pours over the news of The Oath while concentrating on getting through the holiday with his family. Nevertheless, when the police arrive the day after Thanksgiving, the family finds that they have to make a decision on how to keep their family safe and avoid going to jail.
Black Nativity (2013)
Although this is a Christmas movie, as you and I both know, very few people have watched it, and it hasn't even been a part of our holiday traditions. This movie is the awkward in-between, much like Thanksgiving, unlike Home Alone or This Christmas. But it doesn't mean it's not entertaining to watch. Black Nativity, which stars Jennifer Hudson, Angela Bassett, and Forest Whitaker among its star-studded ensemble, centers on Langston, a teenage boy from Baltimore raised by a single mother, as he visits New York City to celebrate Christmas with his estranged cousins, the Rev. Cornell Cobbs and his wife Aretha.
Langston quickly discovers, although, that Cobbs has severe guidelines, and he refuses to abide by them. Rather, he embarks on a voyage of return to his mother, discovering the significance of religion, healing, and family in the process.
The Temptations (1998)
Say it with me: "Ain't nobody coming to see you, Otis." And in a way, he is right, we’re all here for The Temptations. Even though it's dreadful, the tale of the original The Temptations is worth knowing, especially if you're with family. Why? Well, because The Temptations were a family unto itself and, prior to their notoriety, a fraternity that encouraged one another to pursue their own goals. They were the band that was Motown's greatest success story; they went on to become platinum-selling vocalists and had the whole world in the palm of their hands. However, a cocktail of conceit, cocaine addiction, and strained relationships ultimately brought them to an end.
With this four-hour miniseries, it’s easy for families to understand what happens when they stop considering one another and begin living selfishly for themselves.
Four Brothers (2005)
To put it plainly, this film shouldn't work. The casting director chose two musicians (Tyrese Gibson and André 3000), an actor who was not well known (Garrett Hedlund), and Marky Mark, who was a combination of the two but on the well-known side of things. With a cast like that, Four Brothers just shouldn't work, but strangely enough, it does. This film is all you could ask for in a Thanksgiving movie since it depicts the lengths individuals can go to in order to show an unconditional act of love. These foster brothers come home to seek justice—pardon, retribution—for their mother's murder after learning of her death. Local police are pursuing them throughout this time as they are aware that they are going home for more than just a funeral.
Is this the best film you have ever watched? Not at all? However, it's amusing, and you will be pleased to watch people relate to each other so well, even if they have to commit several crimes to do so.
Black Friday (2021)
Black Friday is, in my opinion, the Seinfeldof films. The film is enjoyable even though it doesn't really have a purpose—everything simply happens as they go about their ordinary lives. In the film Black Friday, the action takes place on Thanksgiving night, when irate workers at toy stores reluctantly show up for work in order to open the store at midnight on the largest shopping day of the year. The narrative abruptly changes course as a meteor carrying an extraterrestrial parasite hits Earth.
This gang of outcasts, led by longstanding employee Ken and store manager Jonathan, eventually find themselves in conflict with throngs of Black Friday consumers who have been transformed into hideous beasts determined to go on a deadly spree.
Knives Out (2019)
It is easy to gripe about family members around the holidays and even threaten to murder them if they have irritated you too much. However, it is rarely carried out or genuinely intended. In Knives Out, this is a different story. In this film, the very problematic Thrombey family comes under suspicion when it is discovered that crime author and family member Harlan Thrombey's death was caused by unexplained circumstances. To find the truth, renowned detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) must sort through a maze of falsehoods and red herrings in this dark comedy starring an ensemble cast that includes Ana de Armas, LaKeith Stanfield, Don Johnson, Jaime Lee Curtis, Chris Evans and more.
Finding the ideal harmony between dark comedy, drama, and humor, this movie is an excellent choice for a family viewing experience.
Friendsgiving (2020)
Friendsgiving: I'm not sure who came up with the phrase, but my entire soul yearns to give Leslie Knope, the legendary character from Parks and Rec, all the credit. Leslie emphasizes the value and beauty of friendships in her Friendsgivings, demonstrating how the holiday is an excellent alternative to the custom of spending the day with close and extended family, which is sometimes draining and toxic. However, in spite of its lovely idea, this Friendsgiving is not that.
Friendsgiving, also called Dinner With Friends, demonstrates how sometimes the family we choose may be just as offensive as the family we were born into. Molly and Abbey (Malin Åkerman and Kat Dennings), together with their group of close friends, throw a dysfunctional and chaotic Thanksgiving meal in this comedy from 2020. Demonstrating how even the family we choose may occasionally be questionable and blatantly obnoxious.
Chicken Run (2000)
Unexpectedly, this film still holds up. I recall thinking this movie was the oddest thing I had ever seen or experienced when I watched it for the first time as a child. The jokes were beyond me. I was unaware that it made a communist allusion and missed all the innuendos. Thus, the sheer brilliance of this film delighted me greatly when I saw it as an adult. The narrative of Chicken Run centers on a group of hens destined for a life of egg-laying on a Yorkshire farm. The hens believe a flashy American rooster is capable of showing them how to fly to freedom.
August Osage County (2013)
What a disaster this family is.
There is a cruel mom who is hooked on prescription drugs. A daughter who is addicted to being anywhere else. The lovebird cousins. A father who has suddenly vanished and a strained couple who no longer understand one another. This movie is exactly how I see a horrible Thanksgiving going. A toxic, codependent, manipulative family forced to survive time together without murdering one another. In the beginning, you sympathize with the characters, but around halfway through, you start to think that maybe they deserve each other. It's a comedy about tragedy and how terrible it can get. That being said, this is advantageous for those who become irritated with their own families quickly during holidays. After all, you will have a greater appreciation for your family after witnessing the devastation that this one brings to one another.
Remember the Titans (2000)
Na na na na na na na na hey, hey, hey, goodbye...
I can't exactly say what it is about Remember the Titans that makes it so special. It could be the brotherhood Gerry and Julius have for one another. It could be the fierceness and compassion Denzel Washington brings to Coach Boone. It could be the hilarity brought by singing "Sunshine" in a high-pitched voice. It could be the genuine smiles created from hearing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" being sung by big football players. It could even be that it is based on a true story.
Whatever the case may be, this film is unique and ideal for the Thanksgiving holiday because it exemplifies the beauty that arises from putting aside differences and embracing your chosen family. This film explores the importance of human connection. A breath of fresh air, this masterpiece shows individuals truly choosing to love one another unconditionally, in spite of their differences and upbringings.
Left side. Strong side.
Dreamgirls (2006)
I was forced to listen to the school choir sing several arrangements of "Family" from this musical during my whole time in high school. They played it at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and any other occasion when they needed to jog our memories that we were a family and not just a group of people compelled to know one another by virtue of our shared school zone and residential communities. And although that was a nice message to deliver, I think they completely misunderstood it. It was comical how the group first used this song to manipulate listeners by singing about being a family before betraying their, let's face it, somewhat conceited and demanding friend.
This musical is ideal for the occasion since it depicts the dysfunction that our chosen families may also create in us, particularly if we are unable to learn how to properly connect with one another. This family is turbulent and frequently causes harm to one another for sport, but in the end, they demonstrate how, with time and when we put our egos aside and realize that we are family, we can find our way back to one another and support one another no matter what. Plus, who wouldn't want to hear Jennifer Hudson and Beyoncé give performances of a lifetime?
Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)
Fantastic Mr. Fox is a superbly written and beautifully animated movie that addresses the issue of greed. Following twelve years of idyllic bliss, Mr. Fox betrays his wife by raiding the fields owned by Boggis, Bunce, and Bean, their human neighbors. His marriage, his family's life, and the lives of his animal companions are all at risk when he gives in to his primal cravings. Mr. Fox must use his innate cunning abilities to overcome the farmers attempting to drive him and his group deep below.
This movie is ideal for the occasion since it emphasizes the importance of contentment and gratitude for what you already have rather than always yearning for more. This film ultimately demonstrates that you will never be content if your wants exceed what you now have.
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Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
A Cosmic Guide To Love In 2025: What The Stars Have In Store For Your Heart
The most important lesson we are learning about love in 2025 is change. Many major Astrological transits are happening this year, and these will last for years to come. As we walk through this new year, we are being asked to let go of the things we can’t control, and give more grace to the things we can. This is a year of a new perspective on love, finding gratitude in the little things, and watching as the universe supports us and the dreams we build for ourselves here.
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
What Does Your Zodiac Sign Say About Your 2025 Love Life?
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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New year, new dating style. Courtesy of a former sugar baby.
Being a sugar baby had its (obvious) perks, but the most significant ones didn’t center around the material benefits. To date, I have a bigger appreciation for the lessons I’ve learned and applied them to my dating life.
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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