Although many of us lose our virginity in our late teenage years and 20s, according to science, smashing doesn't even begin to scratch the surface for women until their 30's and 40's. Just ask Tamera Mowry-Housley, who lost her virginity only a year shy of her 30th birthday and says that a decade later, her bedroom is still popping like the 4th of July.
In the past, Tamera said that due to her heavily religious background, she refrained from sex until she was 29 and afterwards, felt so guilty that she made a pledge to be celibate until marriage.
The Real host, who married her husband, Adam Housley in 2011, says that although she chose to keep her cookies in the jar and away from potential suitors for almost three decades, it didn't keep her from learning the recipe to true self-pleasure. She told the hosts:
"So as you know, I've waited a really long time to have sex. But the thing is, is I knew what I liked and what I wanted because I can remember reading a magazine, actually it was 'ESSENCE', and it was about you know, sex education, pleasing yourself, and knowing what pleases you and what you like."
Along with leveling up her sex knowledge, Tamera says that she also took the time to get her understanding about orgasms all the way together:
"You learn about the g-spot, obviously. Learn how to find it. Mhm. Then you learn that you can have an orgasm two ways. One outside and then penetration."
Tamera knew that before she could ask a man to give her what she wanted, she had to know exactly what that was, thus setting her on her own unique journey of sexual exploration.
"So even though I wasn't having sex I knew what I liked so I was in touch with myself. So, you know, once I got married with Adam and all of that, I knew what I wanted."
The 41-year-old wife and mother-of-two says that having this knowledge enabled her to take her sex life as a married woman to the next level. Although when Tamera and her husband first married, she said that lingerie and sexy time could sometimes be intimidating, nine years later, she's able to let all of her kinks hang out, and to date, Tamera and her husband have at least one sex tape on the books.
Living by what I call the "The Golden Rule," Tamera says because she is intentional about what she wants, her husband is always intentional about giving it to her:
"You know, when Adam and I got together I was like, 'No, no, no babe, oh right here, right here' and he liked that. That honesty, you guys, we've been married for almost nine years. He always pleases me first. I'm always first."
Watch the full clip below!
Tamera Reflects On How Learning About Her Sexual Self Helped Her Love Life Later With Her Husbandyoutu.be
Featured image Instagram/@tameramowrytwo.
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak