

I remember getting perms as a child, and it was traumatizing. I don't at all blame my mother, whose mother had taught her that your edges must be slick and your hair must be bone straight to be presentable to mainstream America. It was a team effort as my mother, sister, and grandmother held my head under the sink, as my overdramatic ass screamed and kicked like my life was on the line, until they had completely rinsed the dangerous creamy crack from my scalp.
Fast forward to high school, where I attended a catholic school and was one of the maybe 15 black students that were enrolled at the institution. My catholicism teacher, a surly old Irish man from Augusta, GA named Mr. Kremin, told me once after I had gotten my hair done in Kinky Twists that he liked my hair better straight because it looked more "acceptable."
Now, as an adult woman who's voyaged plenty of corporate interviews to no avail, I realize a trend.
I think back to every time that I straightened my hair, changed my nail color, or altered my style of linguistics or dress in attempt to better fit in with corporate America. I would spend hours in the mirror trying on multitudes of professional clothes wondering, will this be good enough? Black women go to extraordinary lengths to suppress their blackness in the presence of their non-ethnic counterparts because those characteristics are deemed "unprofessional" in the workplace; but Political Analyst and commentator Symone Sanders has something to say about it.
Sanders recently set the record straight about the reality of respectability politics for black women after a fan said that her that her nails were not appropriate for cable news.
The commenter wrote:
"Hi Symone. You are so smart and beautiful. I like your comments on CNN. But may I give some advice? Okay, what do you think about your long nails? It's not appropriate when you are on CNN TV and discussing about politics. This is my opinion. Please don't take it bad. I'm one of your followers. Thank you."
Though the commenter seemed to have good intentions, you got it all wrong playa. Women of color are often heavily scrutinized in the workplace setting because not only are we women, but we're black and constantly told to fix our natural selves to be socially acceptable. In response, Symone tweeted:
"When someone tells me my nails, the dress or blouse I wore or my hair is 'unprofessional,' I find what they're really saying is it is out of the norm for what they're used to seeing on cable news,"
"*spoiler alert* there aren't a lot of black women on cable news."
Symone reminded her audience that not long ago, critics said that she wouldn't be a good fit for TV.
"B4 my 1st contract, I had an agent tell me I wasn't "palatable enough for cable tv" & another said I needed voice lessons because I didn't "sound professional enough." Translation: I didn't look or sound like any of the women they were used to seeing on tv."
Current mainstream media is inclusive af and the public better recognize. Since black women have paved their way into Corporate America, the idea of "professional" is no longer limited to a single standard. The thread continued:
"So I'm fully aware that when I show up curvy, with a low cut, a bold lip, an oversized bow, amazing nails & a chilling analysis...people don't know how to take it. B/c I am not "supposed" to be able to give you solid political commentary with a bedazzled nail right?"
"Nah. I'm completely comfortable with my authentic self. I have no problem showing up authentically as Symone and delivering. The problem is most of y'all aren't comfortable. Some of y'all keep showing up as K. Ashley when your name is really Keisha."
She made the point that sometimes we hide our true selves in the workplace because somewhere along the line, someone told us that being true selves wasn't good enough. She continued to say that usually when people tell her that something isn't professional, it really means that they uncomfortable with her because they're uncomfortable with themselves.
"I stopped looking for validation long ago from folks who didn't think I belonged in the first place. Don't let the non-melanated proverbial majority (proverbial b/c people of color are the actual global majority) tell you what's "acceptable." You will be left out every time."
Preach.
Respectability politics were originally a tool used by Black Elitist to "uplift" the community by correcting undesirable traits of poor black people and have become a means of internalized racism that is rampant in our society and detrimental to the realities of black women.
I can remember preparing for almost every interview, knowing that I was overqualified, but wondering if my edges were slick enough, making sure my outfit didn't make me look too curvy.
Completely masking who I was to fit the mold of who I felt society needed me to be.
I felt I had to reach a level of conformity to be successful, but Symone Sanders proves that the standard now includes black women just being black women.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Swipe Right For Sisterhood: Reginae Carter Talks Teaming Up With BLK To Make Friendships Front & Center
You know the vibes: dating apps aren’t just for finding romance anymore—at least not for Gen Z! As young people continue to redefine connection, BLK, the leading dating app for Black singles, is shaking things up with the launch of Social Mode. The new feature allows users to toggle between dating and platonic connections. Yep, you read that right—friendship is now just as easy to find as love.
To kick off this game-changing launch, BLK teamed up with TV personality and socialite Reginae Carter for the ultimate Girls’ Night In, proving that sisterhood is just as important as romance. The exclusive event was a celebration of the new feature and the power of Black women coming together to uplift one another.
“Your circle is everything,” Reginae shares with a smile, and she’s not wrong. She’s all about creating spaces where we can come together, let our hair down, and vibe with like-minded women. “We deserve spaces to meet, uplift, and vibe with each other. BLK is making that happen,” she adds.
A New Era for Friendships—Social Mode Is Here!
Gen Z is all about building meaningful connections, whether it’s with a date or a new brunch buddy. That’s why Social Mode is such a big deal. Research shows that 65% of Gen Z values friendships just as much as romantic relationships. With BLK’s new feature, users can easily toggle between “Dating” and “Social,” opening up a world of platonic connections—no swiping right required.
Bahja Rodriguez, Reginae Carter, Breaunna Womack, Lourdes Rodriguez and Zonnique Pullins attend OMG Girlz "Make A Scene" Single Release & Video Viewing Party at Trap City Cafe on March 27, 2025 in Atlanta, Georgia
Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage
Reginae Carter Hosts the Ultimate Girls’ Night In—Powered by BLK Social Mode
What better way to show Social Mode in action than with an exclusive Girls’ Night In, hosted by Reginae? The event brought together top influencers, tastemakers, and press for a night of luxury, self-care, and real talk about love, sex, and relationships. From tarot readings to perfume-making and signature cocktails, the evening embodied the “soft life” vibe that many Black women are embracing in 2025—peaceful, intentional, and full of joy.
Guests mingled, laughed, and bonded over the importance of finding a tribe that supports you. It wasn’t just about fun (although there was plenty of that!)—it was about creating a circle of inspiring, strong women. “We need to stick together. We need to be each other’s village,” Reginae says, emphasizing the power of community over competition.
Sisterhood: The Real MVP
For Reginae, it’s all about friendship—and not just the surface-level kind. “We need friends who keep it real with us. The ones who can tell us when we’re right, when we’re wrong, and when we need to calm down,” she says. As someone who navigates the spotlight, she’s got the best of both worlds: friends who understand the grind and those who can give her an honest, grounded perspective.
Her advice for building strong, intentional friendships? “Be confident in yourself and know your worth,” she explains. “Also, hurt people hurt people, so make sure you’re coming from a good place when you’re building relationships. It’s not always about being nice—sometimes it’s about being real.”
Reginae couldn’t have summed it up better: “When you have the right circle, the right tribe, everything just feels easier. And that’s exactly what BLK is giving us—space to connect, laugh, and grow with each other.”
To learn more about BLK’s Social Mode, download or update the BLK app in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Who knows? You might just find your new bestie or your next brunch crew.
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage