

Y'all, if there is any phrase that could serve as the official one for 2020, it would have to be, "Whew. I need a drink!". So, while it's still basically burning up outside, I figured it would be (no pun intended) cool to share with you some alcoholic recipes that center around two themes—summertime and your sex drive. All of these either feature a fruit that is in season during the summer season or they're the type of drink that seems best served during the warmer times of the year. Plus, all of them have ingredients (including alcohol which automatically lowers our inhibitions) that can make you want to enjoy a sunset and then—an even longer night.
So, if you'd like to kick back and enjoy a drink that tastes good and will make your sex life even better, make sure to bookmark this article. That way, next time you go to the grocery and liquor store, you'll know just what to get to boost your libido way up!
1. Kiwi Blackberry Summer Sangria
(Recipe by Yummy Mummy Kitchen)
- A bottle of white wine
- 12 ounce can or container of berry juice
- 3 very ripe kiwis, peeled and sliced
- 1/2 cup of blackberries
- 1/3 cup of loosely packed fresh mint
Put all of the ingredients into a large pitcher. Stir until well mixed with a wooden spoon. Then refrigerate until you're ready to drink it.
I personally don't know anyone who doesn't thoroughly enjoy a tall glass of Sangria. Well, if you want to try one that will help to totally get you in the mood, this one will do it. First up, kiwi (for the record, some are in peak season from March thru June while others are from June thru August), is packed with Vitamin C. Not only does Vitamin C play a significant role in keeping your immune system nice and strong, it also helps to keep hormones like androgen, estrogen and progesterone balanced. Plus, Vitamin C has a pretty good reputation for boosting sex drives and increasing fertility as well.
Then, when you add blackberries (which are their ripest between June and August) into the mix, the Vitamin E (along with Vitamin C) that are in them can increase blood circulation throughout your body (including when it comes to your genitals), intensify your orgasms and can even make you hornier if your libido has been lower lately.
Oh, and of course, the white wine helps. That's because wine contains ethanol which is a type of alcohol that stimulates the part of your brain that regulates your hormone levels and elevates your sex drive.
(As a heads up, I changed the mint from ½ cup to 1/3 cup because too much menthol can actually decrease testosterone levels in some people. If you want to just use it as a garnish, that's cool too.)
2. Chilled Mexican Chocolate Cocktail
(Recipe by Rick Bayless)
- 2 ounces of chilled Mexican hot chocolate
- 1 ½ ounces of añejo tequila
- ½ ounce of ancho chile liqueur
- Shaved Mexican chocolate (for garnish)
Put all of the ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Shake for 15-20 seconds. Double strain into a martini glass and then add chocolate for garnish.
OK, so I'm kinda already thinking that you've heard somewhere that chocolate is an aphrodisiac. The main two reasons why are because 1) chocolate contains tryptophan which helps to build serotonin; that helps to increase sexual arousal in both men and women, and 2) chocolate has the organic compound phenylethylamine in it; it helps people to feel more attached to one another. As far as tequila (which is made by steaming the agave plant) goes, well—if you've ever had a couple of shots of it before, you know how it can quickly get you to turn up! Many Mexicans consider it to be the strongest of all aphrodisiacs (chile). Chilling this drink makes it the perfect summer deck cocktail.
3. Champagne Ginger Cocktail
(Recipe by The Seasoned Mom)
- 2 teaspoons of grated fresh ginger
- 1/2 cup of granulated white sugar
- 1/4 cup of water
- A pinch ground cinnamon (optional)
- A pinch ground nutmeg (optional)
- 1 bottle of summer champagne
Place a fine mesh sieve over a large bowl. In a small saucepan, combine ginger, sugar (along with the cinnamon and nutmeg, if you wish) and bring everything to a boil while stirring the mixture for two minutes. Pour the syrup through the sieve. Refrigerate the syrup in a glass bottle. When you're ready to serve the drinks, put a tablespoon of the syrup into a champagne flute and fill the glass with champagne. Serve immediately.
If you didn't know that ginger serves as its own aphrodisiac, now is as a good a time as any to bring that fact up. It's the kind of plant that is great for men as it relates to their strengthening their libido and improving their sperm quality. One study even revealed that ginger is a natural way to help treat erectile dysfunction. And, if you add it to a nice rosé—which is more "summery" than say, a red wine—it can feel light and festive. Oh, and while adding cinnamon and nutmeg is totally up to you, cinnamon is a sexy scent that is able to warm up your body in a way that simulates feeling aroused while nutmeg is a stimulant that has been associated with natural ways to treat infertility.
4. Grapefruit and Cucumber-Infused Cocktail
(Recipe by Modest Marce)
For the cucumber-infused vodka:
- 1 cup of vodka
- ½ cucumber, sliced
For the cocktail:
- 1 ½ ounce of cucumber infused vodka
- 1 teaspoon of white sugar
- 2 ounces of freshly squeezed grapefruit juice
- 1 to 2 ounces of sparkling water
- ½ cucumber, sliced for garnish
In order to infuse the cucumbers with the vodka, place both ingredients into a glass jar and let everything sit overnight. The next day, strain out the cucumber slices. Put the vodka, along with all of the other ingredients, into a cocktail shaker. Shake for 30-40 seconds. Then pour the drink into a glass that is filled with ice and serve immediately.
For the most part, the top of the year through August is the best time to slice open a couple of grapefruits. On the libido-boosting tip, it's a fruit that is loaded with Vitamin C, folic acid and antioxidants. The combination of those nutrients is able to increase your sex drive. Plus, if you're a woman who has been experiencing a low level of estrogen, this is a fruit that can actually alter the enzyme aromatase, so that the testosterone in your system can be turned into estrogen. The cucumbers in this drink contain Vitamin B3 to keep you and your partner's hormones well-balanced. If you wanna kick things up a couple of more notches, try some Lust Vodka. You can read why I say so here.
5. Spicy Ancho Chile Daiquiri
(Recipe by Vine Pair)
- 1 ounce of rum
- 1 ounce of Ancho Reyes Verde
- 1 ounce of lime juice
- ½ ounce of simple syrup
- 1 cup of ice
Combine all of the ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Shake them for 30 seconds and strain them in a serving glass. Add a fresh chile (if you'd like) for garnish.
Limes are at their best if you cop them between May and October. Since they're considered to be a citrus fruit, they can help your sex life out because they've got vitamins B and C, along with potassium and folic acid. Vitamins B and C are great for maintaining overall sexual health, folic acid keeps women's reproductive health intact and potassium can help to keep your blood pressure low so that blood circulation flows freely and your partner's erections remain strong and long.
6. Gin Cocktail with Honey and Lemon Cordial
(Recipe by Simply-Delicious-Food)
- ¾ cup fynbos honey
- 2 cups water
- ¾ cup muscovado dark brown sugar
- Juice and zest of 4 lemons
Put all of the ingredients into a saucepan and bring them to a boil. Turn down the burner and allow the mixture to simmer for 15 minutes until it turns an amber color. Remove the mixture from the heat and allow it to completely cool down. Then strain the lemon zest. Pour the liquid into glass bottles and refrigerate until the drink is cold. (This should last for a couple of months if you keep the bottles in the refrigerator.)
Lemons are also a citrus fruit. But aside from the other libido-boosting benefits that I've already mentioned, there are a few more reasons to want to get more lemons into your system when it comes to improving your sexual health and, ultimately your sex life. Lemons are able to assist in detoxifying your system; the less toxins you've got, the easier it will be for your blood to flow through your system. Lemons also contain anti-inflammatory properties that can support your man's erections to last longer. Lemons can kick your metabolism into overdrive and, thanks to the citrate that's in them, lemons can help to reduce any bodily pain or discomfort you might be feeling too. Plus, if you add a little bit of honey into the mix, honey can make the drink and its after-effects that much sweeter due to the B vitamins in it that will assist in the production of your partner's testosterone as the boron that's also in it will elevate your estrogen levels, just a tad.
7. The Summer Fling
(Recipe by I'd Rather Be a Chef)
- 1 bottle of rosé
- 10 strawberries, sliced
- 1/2 lemon, sliced
- 2 1/2 cups of lemonade
- 1 bottle champagne or cava
Put the sliced strawberries and lemons into a glass pitcher. Then add the champagne and lemon, cover the pitcher, and put the mixture into the freezer so that it can marinate for at least 4-5 hours. Next, fill your champagne flutes up halfway, topping your glasses off with champagne or cava.
Honestly, May and June are the time of the year when you're almost guaranteed to get a deliciously sweet batch of strawberries, pretty much any time you go to the store. But if you purchase some now until summer ends, you should still be alright. Good thing too because strawberries top the list of being a super sexy fruit. Besides them being sexy to watch someone eat, strawberries are another fruit that are high in Vitamin C. Not only that, but strawberries are full of zinc; zinc can help to increase your vaginal lubrication while keeping your partner's sperm nice and healthy. The aphrodisiacs in these types of berries can increase blood circulation too, including the blood that goes down to you and yours' genitalia and—well, we already discussed that that can do. #wink
8. Saratoga Cocktail
(Recipe by Cold-Glass)
- 1 ounce of brandy
- 1 ounce of rye whiskey
- 1 ounce of sweet vermouth
- 2 dashes of Angostura bitters
- A couple of orange slices
Combine all of the ingredients into a glass bottle. Then pour into a chilled cocktail glass that's filled with ice cubes and garnish it with a slice of orange.
This drink gets its own shout-out because bitters are also a wonderful detoxifier. As a bonus, bitters have also been attributed to helping to alleviate back pain and stomachaches. This is great to know if your head wants to get some, but your body isn't totally into the idea—just yet. A couple of glasses of this and you could be good to go in under an hour or less. So, drink up while the summer is still super hot (and can get even hotter), sis!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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