Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
This summer holds immense potential and supportive energy towards your dreams. There are a lot of gifts many will be receiving during this time, and financially, a new beginning is coming to fruition. We begin the season the same way we do every year, and that is with the Sun entering Cancer. Cancer Season is always a more emotional time, but it’s also a time of deep insight, focus, and passion. We are gaining clarity of the heart, and with two Full Moons in Capricorn happening at the beginning of summer, we are also gaining clarity within money matters as well right now. Summer 2024 is a season of new beginnings, opportunities, patience, and blessings.
Saturn and Neptune will both be retrograde in Pisces this summer, Saturn going direct in November and Neptune going direct in December; and we are moving through a transformative time in mind, body, and soul. Saturn retrograde in Pisces allows us to reexamine our perspective, our spirituality, and the emotional connections we have been building. Neptune retrograde in Pisces reminds us to take the blindfold off and to fully live in the present moment rather than in the fantasies that can cloud our vision. With all the water sign energy presenting itself at the start of summer, it’s about taking your time with what your heart is telling you and allowing things to settle in before taking action.
Leo Season officially begins on July 22, and this Leo Season is about encouraging yourself and others and allowing yourself to live up to who you want to be. Having a little extra confidence is needed this Leo Season as Mercury will be retrograde in Virgo from Aug. 5 until Aug. 14 and then retrograde in Leo from Aug. 14 until Aug. 28. This Mercury retrograde is a time of giving yourself more grace and not allowing self-doubt to cloud your vision or make things worse than they need to be. The Super Blue Moon in Aquarius, happening on Aug. 19, will be the perfect opportunity to let go of what you deem unworthy or too weird for the world and to fully step into your authentic self.
Virgo Season comes to fruition on Aug. 22, closing out the summer, and this Virgo Season is one of transformation and manifestation. The summer begins a little slow and it’s all about the baby steps that come with progress, but by the time Virgo Season comes around, everything is going to be happening a lot quicker. The New Moon in Virgo on Sep. 2 is a New Moon of harvest, and the things you have been building and working on this summer will be coming forth in a big way. A Supermoon Lunar Eclipse is happening in Pisces on Sep. 17, which is bringing positive changes within love and creating space for the new life that you are bringing to fruition. Patience is needed this summer, but there is also so much room for growth that progress is inevitable along the way. It’s all about a fresh start right now.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see how summer 2024 will be for you.
ARIES
This summer is about nurturing your world, Aries. Your patience is needed during this time as you allow your manifestations to come to fruition and let go of what you can’t control. You are in a good space to receive, and there is a lot of love, receptivity, and peace in your life over the next few months. With Saturn going retrograde in your 12th house of closure as the summer begins, you are walking into it in a space of healing and are going to be experiencing culminations that help you move on and create a new beginning for yourself.
On July 27, Chiron goes retrograde in Aries until Dec. 29, further enhancing the restorative energy that is apparent in your life this summer. You are learning from where you have been and setting yourself up for future success by doing the work, going within, and giving yourself some more self-love. On Aug. 14, Mercury goes retrograde in your house of romance until Aug. 28, and your idea of love is shifting. Through the emotional cleanse you have been through this summer, what you want and what you need looks a little different now. Mars enters Gemini and moves into your 4th house of home, foundations, and stability on Sep. 4, and you are leaving this season ready to rebuild and grow after a time of release.
TAURUS
You are entering an insightful season, Taurus. This summer is all about abundance, growth, allowing more love in, and trusting your intuition. With Venus in your 4th house of foundations from Jul. 11 until Aug. 4, you are finding a lot of happiness and love in the home and when it comes to the stability and security you are building in your life right now. Mars, the planet of passion, action, and energy, is also in your 2nd house of income for most of this summer, and you have more potential to make a lot of money or increase your earnings in some way. It’s all about the way you see and value yourself and asking for what you want.
The Super Blue Moon on Aug. 19 is when you are going to find more clarity within career matters and when some important achievements or projects are coming full circle. You are working on letting go of self-sabotage or judgments and owning the person you are and the intentions you have manifested for yourself. Uranus goes retrograde in your sign from Sep. 1 until Jan. 30, 2025, and life can feel more exciting, but also a little more chaotic during this time. The more you can balance going with the flow with putting the work in this summer, the better you can use the opportunities that are presenting themselves to your best advantage.
GEMINI
This is a fun, passionate, and exciting summer for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy at your disposal over the next few months with Mars in your sign from Jul. 20 until Sept. 4. With Mars being in your 1st house of Self, you are going through some major transformations and could be changing your image, style, or personal goals. This summer is when you are going after the things you want and not letting insecurities or self-doubt get in the way of the personal growth you are seeking right now.
On July 26, Chiron goes retrograde in your 11th house of friendship and community, and there is a sense of feeling like you have to do more things alone. It could be difficult to feel that healing and supportive energy within some social connections, and you are moving through this so you can see how powerful you are whether there are people by your side or not. Mercury goes retrograde this summer and will be retro in your house of communication from Aug. 14 until Aug. 28, and it’s best to not be impulsive with the things you want to get across right now. Before the summer ends, there is a Supermoon Lunar Eclipse on Sep. 17, and the things you have been working on in your life and within your career over the past six months are coming full circle for you now.
CANCER
Summer begins on the first day of Cancer Season, and you are shining, living in your truth, and feeling more excited about the future. This summer is about patience with communication, opening your mind to a new perspective, and getting inspired. You have your vision set on the things you want and the words you need to speak, but you are also being guided to take your time with everything right now. Saturn goes retrograde in your 9th house of travel, adventure, and spirituality from Jun. 29 until Nov. 15, and extra precaution should be taken while traveling or exploring, as plans may change a little more unexpectedly during this time.
There is a lot of hope in your life right now, and you are finding your balance between having faith and taking action. The first New Moon of the summer is in Cancer on July 5, enhancing the energy of new beginnings, progress, and self-confidence you are feeling and opening up to now.
As you move through this new season, take a look at your intentions, write down what you wish to see through, and manifest from a space of inner clarity and patience. Venus enters your 3rd house of communication from Aug. 4 until Aug. 29, and you feel more support when it comes to your message and unique perspective. On Sep. 4, Mars enters Cancer until Nov. 3, and this is when you will see more immediate progress and success with your personal goals and the things you are going after.
LEO
This summer is about growing new foundations, building a new sense of family, and feeling more support and stability in your life, Leo. You are focused on the things that make you feel secure and fulfilled in your life, and on July 2, when Mercury enters Leo, you are better able to communicate that. Summertime is always a more abundant and special time for Leos, as this is your season. Venus enters Leo from July 11 until Aug. 4, and you are not only feeling more love for yourself but you are also receiving this same energy back from others as well. Leo Season officially begins on July 22, and the Sun is shining on you as you shine on the world and your intentions.
The Mercury retrograde of the summer will briefly enter your sign from Aug. 14 until Aug. 28 and will then be direct in Leo until Sept. 9. So, for a few weeks, some extra patience will be needed when it comes to your personal goals and communication with others, and you are learning how to express yourself and take up space while building a bridge for others to do so as well. There is a Supermoon Lunar eclipse on Sep. 17, and the transformations you have been through this summer are coming full circle for you now. This Lunar Eclipse is helping you grasp all you have been through while letting go of all that is no longer serving you or what you are building in your life right now.
VIRGO
Dreams are coming true for you this summer, Virgo. This is a time of manifestation, showing up, and making connections. Some pleasant surprises are in store for you over the next few months, and you are fully immersing yourself in the good energy that is flowing through your world right now. On July 11, Venus enters your 12th house before it enters your sign on Aug. 4, and you are going to be emotionally healing and finding closure as you begin this summer. Mercury enters Virgo on July 25, and goes retrograde in Virgo from Aug. 5 until Aug. 14. You are finding your balance between owning what is inspiring you right now and leaving room for new information and insight to enter as well. It’s about being okay with not always being understood but making sure you get the vision you are bringing forth.
Virgo Season begins on Aug. 22, and you enter a time of self-love and romantic love during this time. With Venus and the Sun both in your sign now, you are feeling the nourishment, harmony, and new beginnings in your life, and the things you have been hoping for are coming true for you. On Sep. 2, there is a New Moon in Virgo, and this is the perfect time to manifest and focus on your dreams and abundance. Know that you deserve to have it all, Virgo. Mercury moves back into Virgo from Sep. 9 until Sept. 26, signifying the importance of communication, networking, and perspective for you this summer.
LIBRA
This summer for you, Libra, is about choosing your peace and walking away from your past. You are in a space of emotional contemplation and healing, and you are learning a lot from the people around you and the things you have been through. The Full Moon at the start of the summer on Jun. 21, is going to be a good time for you to nourish your world, relax, and get back to the basics. You are working on letting go of the heavy stuff that has been restricting you from feeling more freedom and empowerment in your life. Once Venus enters your 11th house of hopes and dreams from Jul. 11 until Aug. 4, you are going to be feeling more supported and inspired by what is transpiring for you now.
On Sep. 1, Pluto retrograde moves into the same area of your chart as the Full Moon was at the beginning of the Summer, and you are finding your power in the details. While Pluto is in retrograde in your 4th house until Oct. 11, deep emotional experiences from your past or that have been pushed to the side, are going to arise for you to fully heal and let go of. Venus, your ruling planet, enters your 2nd house of income on Jul. 22 before summer ends, and you are leaving this season with abundance on your mind and with a new perspective on how valuable and worthy you are of love and prosperity.
SCORPIO
This summer is a time of love, balance, and partnership, Scorpio. You are coming together with others and feeling a good emotional reciprocity in your life that is changing a lot for you moving forward. The New Moon on July 5 is a good time to start manifesting your dreams for the summer, especially when it comes to travel and what adventures you want to get into over the next few months. It’s all about having a positive and open perspective right now, and with Venus entering your 10th house of career on July 11 until Aug. 4, you are ready to show up for your blessings and are more open to allowing others to support you and cheer you on along the way.
Mars, your ruling planet, will be in your 8th house of transformation, intimacy, and shared finances for most of the summer, and you are not only feeling the emotional intensity, passion, and sensuality in your love life right now, but you are also feeling more financially supported within your partnerships as well.
On Sep. 17, there is a Supermoon Lunar Eclipse in a fellow water sign, and you are flowing well with the energy of this Eclipse as love comes full circle for you and blesses your relationships in the process. Venus enters your sign on the last day of summer, where it will be until Oct. 17, and you are taking the emotional growth and blessings you have been through in love these past few months into the fall season.
SAGITTARIUS
You are connecting, rebuilding, and collaborating this summer, Sagittarius. This time for you is all about putting the work in, owning and developing your skills, and creating something beautiful in your world. You begin the summer with Saturn going retrograde in your 4th house of home, family, and foundations on Jun. 29 until Nov. 15, and you are going to be focusing on rebuilding some structures in your life, healing your relationship with family or the past, and giving yourself time to find your way. Once Mars enters your 7th house of love on July 20, you are going to feel more of the emotional support and clarity you are looking for right now and will have more energy to connect with others as well.
On Aug. 19, a Super Blue Moon is happening in your 3rd house of communication, and some important messages are getting across to you right now. The conversations you are having this summer are giving you the closure you didn’t know you needed. Pallas enters your sign on Sep. 8 where it will be until Nov. 30, and Pallas will be opening your mind to new insights. You are coming up with some transformative and powerful ideas right now and it’s a good time to express them and connect with those you get your vision from. The Lunar Eclipse happening on Sep. 17 will be giving you closure in the home, and you are ready to let go of unstable foundations that don’t align with what you are trying to be or manifest right now.
CAPRICORN
This summer is about taking action without being too impulsive, Capricorn. You have a lot of great ideas and the passion to see them through, but you are being guided to consider all options before fully committing to something. The first Full Moon of the summer is in your sign on Jun. 21, signifying the closures and culminations you are moving through now. The way you see your goals, yourself, and your vision are changing right now, and that’s okay. Saturn, your ruling planet, goes retrograde at the start of summer until Nov. 15 as well, and this Saturn retrograde for you is going to be helping you in communication matters and when it comes to getting the answers you have been looking for.
The second Full Moon of summer is also occurring in Capricorn and will be on July 21, giving you another opportunity at closure and a new beginning. You are working on letting go of how you thought things would be and seeing the gifts and purpose of where they are now. Pluto retrograde will be entering your sign from Sep. 1 until Oct. 11, and then will be direct in Capricorn until Nov. 19. Pluto will be reminding you that true power is in your patience rather than your pressure, and to not force the things that are unfolding on their own time. The Lunar Eclipse, happening on Sep. 17, will be an opportunity to close a chapter of your life of miscommunication or misrepresentation and give you clarity on your true purpose and inspirations.
AQUARIUS
This summer, you are owning your power in life and stepping up to the plate, Aquarius. You are feeling the success, achievement, and development in your life over the next few months, and you are in a really good position in life. With Saturn being retrograde in your 2nd house of income this summer, extra precaution should be taken when it comes to your finances, contracts, and what you are building financially for yourself, but with the right patience, you will still succeed. On Aug. 19, there is a Super Blue Moon in your sign, and you are experiencing the gifts that come from personal transformation. You are showing up and showing out, and something is compelling and magnetic about your energy this summer.
Uranus, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde on Sep. 2 until early 2025, and a lot of changes are going to be happening in the home for you during this time. You could be moving, changing the dynamics with family, or overall feeling a little more excitement and, at times, chaos in this area of your life. Before summer ends, a Supermoon Lunar Eclipse is happening in your 2nd house of income, and you are making powerful strides and can take in the financial blessings that are coming full circle for you. Lunar Eclipses aren’t the time to manifest, but they are a time when you can gain the guidance needed to make some important decisions in your life.
PISCES
You are opening your heart, healing, and living in love this summer, Pisces. This is an emotionally fulfilling and heartfelt summer for you, but you are also learning the lessons and doing the inner work. Saturn will be retrograde in your sign for the entirety of the summer and you are rebuilding not only your foundations but the vision you have of yourself as well. You are seeing where some past insecurities are getting in the way of your progress, and you are taking more time to give yourself the love, support, and nourishment you need right now. Neptune will also be retrograde in your sign this summer, and it’s about confronting the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel at times.
With Mercury going retrograde in your 7th house of love for a few weeks at the beginning of August, remember that if the past comes up for you or tries to re-enter your life, sometimes it’s better to leave the door closed rather than bring up old emotions you have already healed from. On Aug. 19, the Super Blue Moon will be in your 12th house of closure, and this is a good time to let go of all the past emotional experiences that keep coming up for you. With the Super Lunar Eclipse happening this summer, occurring in your sign on Sep. 17, you are being positively received and supported. There are more opportunities for emotional connection as the summer ends, and you feel like you can finally take a breath of fresh air.
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Yeah, I’m not a fan of that because, once you’ve already “locked in” on that level, going to see a marriage counselor or life coach is pretty much only seen as a mere formality. In other words, you’re not really looking to dive deep to see if there are some potential red, orange, or even yellow flags — you’re just going to a couple of sessions because it sounds like the right thing to do.
And because of that mindset, far too many people go into marriage totally blindsided and/or thinking that they can deal with things later and/or believing that love (which usually is some emotional version, not the biblical one — I Corinthians 13) will conquer all — and because of that, divorce court ends up becoming their reality. If not semi-immediately…eventually.
That’s why I write articles like this. Wisdom says that if you want to get into something as serious as marriage and you’re going to look someone in their eyes and vow to be with them for the rest of your lives, you both should know as much as possible about what you’re getting yourselves into…beforehand.
The following eight questions can help to lead the way when it comes to this…
1. Childhood Issues
GiphyA few nights ago, I found myself getting caught up in a movie on HBO Max calledOn Chesil Beach. It drags, so I’m not (necessarily) recommending it. However, it does help to drive home this first point that I’m trying to make because it’s all about the purely excruciating wedding “night” of a couple who waited to (attempt to) consummate their marriage. Although for a lot of it, the wife was pretty annoying, you do get glimpses of her childhood that help to shed light on all of her excuses and hesitancy (and there was A LOT of both).
If you do happen to want to watch the film, I won’t give all of what happens away. What I will say is that one of the main reasons why going to premarital counseling is so important is you and your bae should talk about childhood issues.
Listen, as one of my favorite quotes says, “Adulthood is surviving childhood.” Meaning, a lot of times, marriages struggle because it’s not two healed adults who are in the relationship; it’s more like two wounded (on some level, at least) kids who are trying to make a valiant attempt at an adult dynamic.
I know many people who grew up in hella dysfunctional homes who simply said, “I will never be like my parents when I grow up,” only to turn around and be just like them. How did that happen? It’s because of something that I tell a lot of my clients: we tend to do what’s familiar, not what’s right. The main way to prevent that from happening is by being open and honest about where we come from, how it all affected/infected/impacted us, and then getting help, if needed, before jumping the broom.
2. Greatest Heartbreak
GiphyAlthough I’m not sure that there is solid data on what I’m about to say, I stand ten toes down on the fact that I don’t think that men look to “fall in love” multiple times. If anything, they have a first love, their wife, and possibly someone in between. Why? Because contrary to what social media likes to cram down our throats about men, many men when they fall, they fall very hard and are all in. Case in point, I can’t tell you how many guys have told me how much of an influence their first love has had on them — even to this day. And when something monumental happens, it can totally change you (check out “Your Soulmate Might Be The One Who Broke You”).
That’s why I also think it’s a good idea for you and your man to discuss what your greatest heartbreak was like — past (how it affected you) and present (how you feel about the experience now). It can shed great light into how you see relationships and love and why you make some of the decisions that you now do. It can also help you both to express if there are still some unresolved issues that are dormant there because I can’t tell you how many clients I’ve had who, when things got rocky in their marriage, the very first place they went to was Facebook or Instagram to see what their “long lost love” has been up to.
A writer by the name of Jodi Picoult once said, “Once you had put the pieces back together, even though you may look intact, you were never quite the same as you'd been before the fall.” Both of you discussing how this saying relates to this particular topic can, as I put it, “cover up mouseholes.” What I mean by that is, by getting it all out in the open, your partner will be able to know your wounds and weaknesses in that area and offer up some support and even protection — in ways you, he, or both may not have known was needed…until the topic was actually brought up.
3. Financial Habits
GiphyYou know, I find it very interesting how the Good Book says that the LOVE of money is the root of all evil (I Timothy 6:10), and yet, pretty much any time I tiptoe out to see what social media is yapping — sorry, I mean talking — about, “broke” comes up incessantly. Listen, should you want to be with someone who is financially savvy and stable? 1000 percent. Should you also be the kind of person who you want to be with? 10,000 percent.
That said, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a premarital session and asked both people what their credit score was, only for them to look at me like I asked them to strip naked or something. LOL. Well, I guess, in a way, it’s the same thing because nothing reveals someone’s financial stuff like their credit score and what they’ve got in their savings account. Yet if you’re thinking that your soon-to-be spouse isn’t going to find all of that out anyway, you’re caught up in some sort of delusion that I’m not sure any therapist can get you out of.
Personally, I think that engaged couples should hire a financial advisor and get a financial mentor (preferably a married couple) to comb through both of their finances so that they can see each other’s current state, areas of strengths and weaknesses, and so they can come up with a financial plan for their first, third and fifth year of marriage.
You know, although actually the top reason for divorce these days has a lot to do witha lack of support (emotionally and otherwise),financial stuff is still up there. A part of the reason for that is that there’s no way around the fact that marriage is a business contract (among other things). If you’re signing up to do business with someone, you need to know what their finances look like. That’s common sense 101.
4. Character Weaknesses
GiphyAnyone who knows me knows that if someone tells me that they believe that they’ve met “the one,” while they are acting like that person is an angel on earth, the marriage life coach (and “Shellie”) in me is like, “Uh-huh. What are their character flaws, though?” It’s not to break their spirit or be a Debbie Downer or anything; it’s just that I have watched too many marriages crash and burn because they didn’t ask themselves questions like that before saying, “I do.”
For instance, one of my friends (who, yes, happens to be divorced now) told me that he had met who he believed was his soulmate; when I asked him about her potential character weaknesses, one of the things that he casually said was, “I mean, she has a bit of a jealousy streak but…” Umm, sir — you are handsome and an entertainer and you’re going to marry a jealous woman? Hacked emails and tons of drama later, he admits that he wished that he hadn’t underestimated that side of her personality.
Listen, no one is perfect — not by far. In fact, if you’re mature in your thinking, a part of what marriage is designed to do is give you the kind of accountability partner that will offer a safe space for you to address, refine, and improve some things about yourself.
However, in order for you and your partner to be able to do that, you need to know what those things are — and that needs to be discussed well before your wedding day, preferably in the presence of a reputable marriage therapist, counselor, or life coach who can help you to figure out what to do with the intel that the both of you are sharing.
5. Poor Boundaries
GiphyWhen you sign up to become someone’s spouse, your wedding day, in part, is about declaring to everyone that you want to make them the top priority in your life under God himself. And in order to keep anything from affecting that, you need to have some solid boundaries. Boundaries, at the end of the day, are nothing more than limits — and yes, you need to have limits as far as how much your family can know about your relationship, what your friends can and cannot speak on, and what kind of decisions y’all will make that, quite frankly, is no one else’s business…including the internet’s (because A LOT of people out here like to be passive aggressive about their relationship online).
Does it take a village to “raise a marriage?” In some ways, yes. However, when it comes to the vow-taking process, that is between a husband and his wife, and if they are religious, God. No one else made those promises and that means no one else should be as involved or invested as those two (or three) parties are.
Poor boundaries are the cause of so much drama in marriages and honestly, relationships, in general. You do not want to take the approach of, “We’ll figure out what limits we should have as problems present themselves.” Uh-uh. Talk about what your limits should look like ASAP, and make sure that you mutually agree on them too. This point alone can save your marriage more than just about anything else on here.
(P.S. A great book for you to check out isBoundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships. It’s by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.)
6. Perspectives on Daily Lifestyle
GiphySomething else that I’ve observed while working with married folks (and talking to older couples in Cracker Barrel; believe it or not, the marriage advice in there is top-notch!) is marriages tend to end, not so much because of one “big” thing that happened — it’s more like it’s due to the culmination of a lot of little ones.
Take how a person lives, for instance. I’ve dealt with couples where the wife was appalled by her husband not wiping the toilet seat, and the same husband was disgusted by her dishes being left in the sink overnight. A couple of weeks of this, and it’s whatever. Oh, but let it be some years? You’d be surprised.
It can actually be quite sobering to take a moment to ponder and process that, at least when you sign up for a traditional marriage, you’re signing up to share a home, bed, and life — for the rest of your life. If there are certain things that are super “icks” for you, if there are certain chores that you absolutely hate, if there are little pet peeves like sleeping with the television on or your partner being a morning person when you aren’t — you had better bring all of this stuff up now.
Many people have assumed that love will supersede peace when it comes to daily living. Chile, the reality is that you can love a lot of people who you just can’t live with. Please don’t find that out after taking vows and filling out paperwork. Discuss as much as possible about the day-to-day of how you both move, just as soon as you possibly can.
7. Patterns in Past Relationships
GiphyIn interviews, some folks will ask me what I think about the whole “Does knowing someone’s body count really matter?” debate (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”). As it relates to this particular article, two things: one, check out TIME’s article, “How Previous Sexual Partners Affect Offspring,” when you get a chance. Secondly, let’s do it like this: if you were to find out that your boyfriend used to beat up on his girlfriends, but he hasn’t done it in a couple of years, would “That’s in the past” suffice as his rationale? BE HONEST.
No matter how nonchalant our culture chooses to be about sex, how we decide to move in that space is about more than recreation and experiencing orgasms. So yes, knowing about your past in this realm can shed light on your mindset, your perspective, and even some of your patterns — not just your sexual past, but your past, in general.
Anyone who wants to give pushback on that, I’ll just say this: it is human nature to brag about things that we’re proud of. When it comes to your sexual past, if you’re hiding or deflecting concerning it, why is that? And what would make you think that, eventually, the things that you are suppressing won’t somehow come out anyway? Real talk, a great sign that you’re over something or someone is when you can bring it or them up — not when you’re doing everything in your power to avoid it/them.
And when it comes to past relational patterns overall — have you always been the one to do most of the work? Do you tend to flee when things get too challenging? Do you ever stop to think about what you did wrong? Do you tend to handle things with ultimatums? Do you treat relationships as projects? Do you avoid things with sex? Do you not communicate your innermost feelings well?
A pattern is something that you do over and over, oftentimes very naturally. When it comes to the men of your past, what qualifies as a pattern for you? Getting married doesn’t miraculously make those patterns go away. Discussing them can help you to get to the root of those issues and if you need to break some of them on the front end.
8. Media Programming
GiphyA quote that I find myself saying often is by The Doors singer, Jim Morrison: “Whoever controls the media, controls the mind.” There is no way around the fact that media influences and impacts society on some pretty monumental levels (you can read more about thathere,here, andhere) — and so to think that what you take in when it comes to television programs that you view, movies that you watch, books that you read and social media accounts that you follow aren’t affecting you? That is some serious denial that you are in.
Case in point. I have a friend who also works in mental health. Whenever his wife is watching some trash reality television (and boy, is there A TON of it), he says that she is way more touchy to the point of almost being combative than when she isn’t. One time, he instituted a two-week fast from reality television. He said that the first week was rough for her, which caused her to realize that she was way more attached to the shows than she thought. The second week, she was calmer and far more peaceful (her words, not his). Did she totally give reality television up? I mean, we’re all a work in progress, right? LOL. She does watch it less, though, and their marriage is running smoother because of it.
As we close all of this out, definitely an underestimated influence in marriage is the media. Find out what your partner likes and why. See where the two of you are in sync, where you’re not, and what you think the compromises should be. Otherwise, you could end up with someone who is making judgment calls about your relationship based on what some random on TikTok said — you’d be amazed how many people do that. And it’s a damn shame that they do.
___
There’s a reason why this article has the title that it does. Getting real — and I mean, really real — about relationships isn’t always the most comfortable thing to do; however, it is beneficial.
And what, after (genuinely) addressing things like this, you find out that you’re not as compatible as you thought? Eh. That doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Either — again, with the help of a marriage expert — figure out how to compromise or, if you ultimately can’t find enough common ground…as I oftentimes say, It’s always better to break up before marriage than divorce after it.
Words to live by. Promise you that.
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