Since Halloween is literally just moments away (generally speaking), I thought it would be a good idea to address sugar use from a far more beneficial angle than consuming it. What I mean by that is — when’s the last time you’ve actually applied either white (its granules are coarser and can be a great exfoliant) or brown (it is gentler and also a pretty potent humectant) sugar to your skin?
If your answer is “never,” I’d really like you to consider doing so. Sugar can add moisture to your skin. Sugar can bring radiance to skin that appears dry and dull. Sugar can make it easier to apply your make-up (because it helps to “smooth out” your skin). Sugar can help to prevent sebum build-up without drying out your skin in the process. The glycolic acid in sugar can even prolong the aging process of your skin.
If all of this sounds like something you’d like to get in on, I’m going to take out a sec to provide eight different ways that sugar can benefit your body — from the outside. I’ve even provided some DIY recipes, so that you can get to using sugar, in this way, as soon as you click off of this article. Let’s do this.
1. Body Scrub
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Imma tell you what — if hearing things like we all lose a whopping 200,000,000 skin cells per hour (PER HOUR) isn’t enough to make you want to change your bedding, like clockwork, on a weekly basis, I don’t know what will! And when it comes to your skin’s health and well-being, specifically, if you don’t want some of those dead cells to clog up some of your pores (which can lead to breakouts), that’s a really good reason to apply a body scrub, also on a weekly basis. Not only do body scrubs exfoliate and “polish” your skin, but they also remove the kind of dead skin build-up that can make it challenging for your skin to absorb moisture (like carrier oils and lotions). Plus, they can make your skin look and feel a lot smoother too.
Just make sure that you apply them to clean and damp skin, that you gently rub the scrub in a circular motion for a couple of minutes, and that you thoroughly rinse the scrub off with warm water, then cool, to close up your pores afterward. That’s how you can get the most out of pretty much any scrub — head to toe.
Try This: Homemade Coffee Sugar Scrub
2. Lip Scrub
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If you’ve ever kissed someone who had chapped or feathering lips (you know, when there are pieces of dead skin on them) before, you know how truly unpleasant that is. Just so you’re not the person someone else is referring to here, make sure to apply a lip scrub to your lips — twice a week should do it. The texture of sugar will help to remove dead skin layers, help to fade any hyperpigmentation that you may have, give your lips a really smooth and sexy feel and, it can even make them appear a bit fuller as well.
Try This: Natural Homemade Lip Scrub
3. Scalp Scrub
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If you didn’t get a chance to check out my article, “10 Things Your Scalp Has BEEN Waiting For You To Do,” please make sure that you do at some point. You know, now that the FDA is seriously considering banning certain relaxers, I can’t say that I’m mad about that. Aside from the cancer risks that come with many hair straighteners, back when I was “detoxing” from texturizers, it took my scalp almost a year to recover (because, yes, the chemicals in them can be just that traumatizing).
Something that helped was scalp exfoliants (and I didn’t do them then nearly as much as I do now). Listen, just like the pores on your face can clog up and cause issues, so can the hair follicles on your scalp (and you have roughly 100,000 of those!). Anyway, if you have an itchy scalp, product build-up on your scalp, dry scalp that could use a moisture boost, dandruff flakes or you simply want to stimulate your hair follicles so that you can get stronger and healthier hair — a homemade sugar scalp scrub can do the trick.
You’ll be amazed by how soothed your scalp feels after giving yourself one (personally, I do a scrub before shampooing my hair on wash days).
Try This: Scalp Scrub and Scalp Clarifier
4. Hair (Conditioner) Scrub
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If you want to make a brown sugar hair scrub or if you want to put a tablespoon of brown sugar into your hair conditioner, I’m not gonna stand in your way. Something else that the granules of sugar can do is move product build-up from your tresses so that your hair ends up looking shinier. And again, since sugar is a humectant (which means that it pulls moisture from the air into your hair and onto your skin and scalp) — it will make your hair conditioner that much more effective.
Try This: Brown Sugar Hair Scrub
5. Facials
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Did you know that glycolic acid literally comes from sugarcane? It’s good for your skin because it removes dead skin cells, helps to reverse sun damage to the skin, evens out hyperpigmentation, and can even soften the appearance of acne scars (over time). In fact, it’s a type of acid that’s good at reducing breakouts overall. That said, because the skin on your face tends to be more fragile, go with brown sugar if you want to do a facial scrub as a part of your at-home spa day. Another approach that you can take is adding some brown sugar to an already-made facial. You’ll get the properties of sugar’s benefits either way.
Try This: Brown Honey Sugar Scrub
6. Hair Removal
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When my waxer was in the process of leaving a company to start her own business, I found a salon that did sugaring. Although I found my waxer to be way more precise when it came to hair removal, what I did like about the sugaring process is (at least for me) that it was less painful, the ingredients were all-natural and it helped permanently remove unwanted body hair a helluva lot faster than wax does. I’m such a fan that I’m currently trying to talk my waxer into adding sugaring to her list of services.
Anyway, if you want to learn more about sugaring and all that it entails, a few years back, someone wrote about her experience for our platform: “I Got A Sugar Wax & The Results Had Me Shook.” Real Simple also addresses a lot of additional questions that you may have here. And yes, I know a few people who do it themselves from home (because again, it’s all-natural). I’m just putting the option out there if you’re currently looking for a hair removal alternative to what you’re currently doing/using.
Try This: Homemade Sugar Wax
7. Cuticle Treatment
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It seems like the older I get, the more my cuticles want to be problematic as all get out. More than anything, they stay dry which can lead to hangnails and raggedy-looking cuticles, in general. I have to admit that although I get pedicures consistently, ever since the pandemic, I haven’t made my hands as much of a priority as they deserve. Whenever I do get professional manicures, though, that helps with the whole cuticle drama. When I’m at home, so does applying cuticle oil (or even a carrier oil like sweet almond or grapeseed) and using some sugar on them. Yep — just like the rest of your body needs dead skin cells removed from it, so do your cuticles. Try it and thank me later.
Try This: Cuticle Oil and Sugar Scrub
8. Foot Scrub/Soak
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I’m not sure why so many of us are programmed to think that manis and pedis are pampering. Personally, I think they are a form of self-maintenance — and no, those are not one and the same (check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself”). Self-maintenance is preventative care. Pampering is over-indulgence. That said, doing what will help to keep foot odor and fungus at bay, doing what will remove callouses and keep your feet soft and smooth, doing what will ease stress and reduce muscular discomfort (in your feet) — it’s an act of maintenance and foot scrubs and soaks will do that for you.
All you need is a foot basin, a foot scrub, or soak recipe and about 30-45 minutes. Listen, even though I get a pedicure no less than once a month, sometimes I will still scrub my heels in between appointments with some sugar. I never have any regrets; my feet feel divine every single time.
Try This: A Listerine Vinegar Sugar Scrub
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So, y’all — whether you choose to dress up this Halloween, leave the porch light on for the kiddies or you’re gonna sit this one out, don’t let this month leave without adding some sugar to your beauty care regimen. That’s one way that you’ll never have to worry about sugar being a problem. Pretty much…ever.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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I Stepped Out Of My Comfort Zone & Hosted A Journaling Meet-Up. Here's How It Went
Last year, I began my journey with journaling, and it has quickly become one of my favorite self-care practices. It started with reading Calling In The One, a book about manifesting love in your life.
At the end of each chapter were exercises, and the majority of those exercises required you to journal. I took it seriously because your girl wants a loving, healthy relationship in 2025. But while I finished the book, I still held on to the practice of journaling.
Journaling has not only allowed me to get my feelings out on paper, but it has also made me think deeper about situations and see other perspectives. For example, I may write about how I feel someone hurt me, and as I'm writing, I may realize some of my faults in the situation, thus forgiving that person or giving that person grace.
There have been other times when I'm writing, and suddenly, I get overwhelmed with emotion. I'm talking, tears streaming down my face, and having to pause to get myself together. Those moments are especially important to me because I began asking myself questions like, "Why did I get so emotional?" Which further allows me to keep journaling until I get to the root. But sometimes, it's just a purging of old feelings that I kept inside and was finally letting out.
Why I Decided To Have A Journaling Meet-Up
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Because journaling has been such a transformative practice for me, I wanted to share it with others and build community on similar ideas. That is one of the reasons why I created my brand, The Self-Care Writer. Not only did I want to provide self-care products like my Journaling & Self-Care Essentials Kit, but I also wanted to have events that were rooted in self-care and wellness.
So this year, I decided to have my first event. The new year often brings optimism as people are looking to make positive changes in their lives, and that's why I decided to have my event the weekend following New Year's Day. Thus, my event Release & Renew Journaling Meet-Up was created.
The Process
It was my first event, and while I wanted it to be nice, I also wanted something low-maintenance and free for the girlies. That's why I decided to make it a meet-up. It takes the pressure off of attendees and myself. I had it at a local Atlanta cafe so we wouldn't be forced to meet a food and beverage minimum.
Also, I was unsure of how many people were actually going to show up. I shared the meet-up with friends, posted on social media, and created an Eventbrite page. While I had a lot of tickets purchased through Evenbrite, you know how it is when something's free.
I capped the tickets at 25, and I had a total of eight girls show up. Most were friends, which I'm so grateful for. I was also proud that I got out of my comfort zone and took a chance at something I've wanted to do for a long time.
I had journal prompts for those who needed a little push and cute rose-gold pens with my website on them. After introductions and instructions, we mingled, ate, drank our coffees and teas, and journaled together.
What I Learned
Because it was my first event, I had low expectations, and I think that's best when planning something like this. The atmosphere seemed very encouraging, and everyone seemed to enjoy the space. However, I think we all could agree it was a little noisy at times, so it was hard to hear each other.
I hope to make this a monthly event, so having it in a quieter space or a restaurant with a private room would be ideal. I also would like to include more activities in the meet-ups to help build more community with each other. (I'm still collecting surveys, so more feedback is pending.)
The older I get, the more I believe in timing. I realized I had to go through certain transformations to become the person I am today to even create a brand like The Self-Care Writer. By showing up for myself through tools like journaling, I, in turn, can better show up for others.
While this is just the beginning, I am excited for what's to come. Who knows? I may even write a follow-up story about what else I've conquered since my first meet-up.
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