We live in a world where sex work is one of the oldest professions in the book.
As a woman who has considered doing things I normally wouldn't do, in order to survive, such as exotic dancing, selling my used underwear, and being a massage girl, I know the very real feeling of being backed into a corner. I am the last person to judge anyone, as if I never shook my little booty in a popular Astoria Queens Go-Go Club, tended bar at a strip club, and auditioned to be a stripper twice...
The idea of getting my very own sugar daddy (or several) has crossed my mind on many occasions.
There is an entire underground economy supported by sex trafficking in this country and abroad. The idea of exchanging currency for things of a sexual nature is a transaction primarily carried out by men paying for sexual gratification. Places like Nevada and Amsterdam have even legalized prostitution by government regulations. Though a man can be a sex worker as well and have a "sugar mama," the way our culture is set up, a woman engaging in this kind of work is much more common.
Though I have never fully ventured into these uncharted waters, I have constantly cycled the idea through my mind. I ponder about whether or not I could actually go all the way.
My mother used to tell me that since I was pretty, I would always be able to get a job… Of course, this has not been the case for my life, and in the last couple years, I have been pushed to the brink of being a sex worker due to a lack of gainful employment. I have come across enough women in my lifetime who have successfully made a living as a sugar baby, to consider taking the plunge myself.
There are many perspectives about what having a sugar daddy is all about. This article will disclose some personal experiences and opinions of women who have given it a shot, and those who would never dare!
What Does It Mean to Be A Sugar Baby?
According to the handy dandy Urban Dictionary, a sugar baby is: "A young female or male who is financially pampered/cared for by a sugar daddy or sugar mama in exchange for companionship (i.e. sexual favors)."
A sugar daddy, in turn, is usually, but not always, a much older man who has enough money to spend on a younger woman seeking financial security. In my experience, meeting women with sugar daddies, in many cases, their "tricks" have families; wives and children that are kept in the dark about their secret life.
Usually a sugar daddy wants companionship; but it won't take long for the sexual requests to kick in. It is possible that any one individual only wants eye candy, or a trophy model to cart with them to dinners, exotic trips, and fancy events. Still, sex often waits in the wings.
How Sugar Baby-Sugar Daddy Relationships Work.
Usually a woman finds her sugar daddy online on sites such as Sugar Daddy Meet, Sugar Daddy For Me, and Seeking Arrangements. These sites are set up like any average dating sites like Match.com, or Tinder. You can go online, and set up your profile like any other site, and then you get to browsing for your next human paycheck!
Once you lockdown someone of interest, usually, you set up a time and place to meet. Of course, you would opt for a public place, perhaps a coffee shop, or restaurant. As opposed to regular dating, cutting right to the chase is what happens. "You must always remember, that this is business," says one anonymous survey taker.
She's 100% correct. While you'll want to be personable and cheerful, this meeting is not to get to know the depths of this person, and vice versa. It's all about seeing if an amicable and compatible arrangement can develop. Once this is discerned, usually the numbers are discussed. How often does your sugar daddy want to meet up? How much money do you receive for every meetup? Is the rate lower for just hanging out or going shopping? If so, what is the rate for when sex is involved? Is there a cash allowance? How much will be paid for extended weekend trips? These questions are often answered within the first couple of meetings with a sugar daddy.
Is Escorting The Same Thing As Having A Sugar Daddy?
If this lifestyle is a relatively new concept, you might be wondering if having a sugar daddy is the same thing as having an escort. I received mixed answers from my anonymous survey. Some women said "yes," and some women said "no."
While sexual services might be the end game for both, a sugar baby develops more of a long-term relationship with her sugar daddy than an escort would. One of the complaints an old roommate of mine used to rant about was that her sugar daddy called her way too much just to talk on the phone! This ordinarily wouldn't be something that would happen with an escort. An escort arrangement is more of a one-and-done situation, and maybe done again, if requested through the same agency.
Women who work as escorts, don't usually foster a relationship with their tricks. There isn't a obligation to entertain anything more than what is agreed upon, during the arranged and timed meetup.
The Perks.
In my opinion, when you have a guy who feels more of a man when he believes he can control a woman by pampering and caring for her financially, you likely find someone who is willing to pull all the stops. For instance, my old roommate negotiated a down payment for a brand new car, plus help with paying for an apartment, in addition to receiving $400 every time they had sex. All she had to do was be discreet, prompt, and laugh at all of his jokes. In between sexual meetups, she enjoyed expensive dinners and drinks at snazzy restaurants, all on her sugar daddy's tab.
Some women from the survey said that the whole reason for getting a sugar daddy, was indeed going through financial struggles, and being backed up against a wall. Another mentioned that being a sugar baby allowed you to date older men and gain new experiences. Another woman mentioned that she would never sleep with a man for money, but she would definitely take money for going to dinner or being arm candy. So that led me to exploring other options when it came to the sugar daddy arrangement.
Psychological And Emotional Setbacks.
I would be naive and dishonest to say that I myself have not felt guilty for even considering getting a sugar daddy. When you are raised as a Jehovah's Witnesses, with the jaded belief that just because you are attractive, you will have an easier life, the idea of having to succumb to sex work to survive, can most definitely wound your sense of identity and self-worth. I met one woman who said she would cry herself to sleep after leaving an evening with her sugar daddy.
The emotional effect of giving yourself to someone who might be empty themselves is profound. One of the women from my survey reminds sugar babies to always be safe. Not only should you be safe with your life, but you should keep your psychological and spiritual mind and heart intact.
At the end of the day, your body is your temple, and your decision to become a sugar baby is yours and yours only.
So in a very Shakespearean context, the real question is, "To Be A Sugar Baby, or To Not Be A Sugar Baby…?"
Featured image by Giphy
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Fontaine Felisha Foxworth is a writer and creative entrepreneur from Brooklyn New York. She is currently on the West Coast working on creating a TV Pilot called "Finding Fontaine", that details the nomadic journey of her life so far. Keep up with her shenanigans @famoustaine on IG.
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Everything Jodie Turner-Smith Has Said About Life & Love After Divorce
Jodie Turner-Smith is very much everything. And we don’t say that lightly.
Her beauty, resilience, and talent are otherworldly. From her iconic role in Queen & Slim to her red carpet slays, she’s our queen. Being a celebrity is not for the faint of heart. Even if you try to keep your personal life on the down-low, the spotlight can be blinding. And even more so when it comes to love.
In 2018, Dawson Creek alum Joshua Jackson entered Jodie’s life. Rumors circulated that they first crossed paths at Usher's 40th birthday celebration, and subsequent sightings of them together at various events fueled speculation. Their relationship took a public turn in November 2018 when they attended the U.S. premiere of Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri as a couple. As time progressed, their bond became increasingly apparent through their appearances at award shows and other social gatherings.
In August 2019, the couple sparked wedding speculation when they were spotted acquiring a marriage license in Beverly Hills. Later, reports confirmed that they had tied the knot on August 18, 2019.
In 2020, they welcomed their daughter Juno into the world. In March 2023, Turner-Smith candidly shared with PEOPLE that she believes fulfillment comes from becoming the best version of herself for her child's sake. She wrote, "And I try to involve her in my life, not let work be this thing that exists outside of her, but that she also gets to be a part of. And so that she sees me being a working mother and being fulfilled and wanting to mother at the same time."
The world was astounded when Turner-Smith unexpectedly filed for divorce in September of last year, citing irreconcilable differences. Three months later, photographs surfaced showing Jackson holding hands with actress Lupita Nyong'o, raising questions about the timeline of events and the reasons behind the sudden split.
When speaking withGlamour, Jodie said, “Sometimes things we really want to work just don’t end up working and that’s okay. The most important thing is that you choose what’s healthiest for you and your family and definitely your children. There are so many different moments in our life where we look at ourselves and say, ‘Who am I and am I being true to that?”
Jodie is focusing on a new chapter in her life. Ahead, find everything Jodie has said about life and love after divorce.
Jodie on Moving Forward
Excited for the future, Turner-Smith and Jackson prioritize setting a positive example for their daughter, acknowledging when situations aren't functioning as intended.
During an interview with The Times, she shared, “The big takeaway is that this is about just as much love and joy as it has always been. This is only about taking a step forward into a better life for everybody involved.”
Jodie on Co-Parenting
Turner-Smith has said that she and Jackson are going through an "adjustment period" in terms of co-parenting, but that she's trying to get to the level of friendly exes. While the uncoupled pair is still working to smooth things out, she told Glamour, “It’s an adjustment period for anyone when they split up with someone, because you’re used to being with your child all the time.”
Jodie went on to say, “But nobody hands you a manual. Everyone’s trying to figure it out. Each parent has a different life, and especially if the reason why you’re splitting up is because you have different lives, it’s only further complicated by how you’re going to co-parent.”
Jodie on Focusing on Herself
Shortly after the announcement of her divorce, the actress took to Instagram sharing a quote, "Everything heals and grows when it is loved well. People, too."
Turner-Smith previously used quotes to convey her emotions during her divorce journey. Earlier in the month, the actress took to Instagram to share her perspective on love languages. "People don't always say, 'I love you.' Sometimes it sounds like: Be safe. Did you eat? Call me when you get home. I made you this."
Jodie on Battling the Innanets
The mommy mogul doesn’t bother responding to every single thing people say or think because it's a waste of time. Jodie told The Times, “At the end of the day I am not the only person in the world going through a divorce. There are millions of people in the world who are going through what I’m going through and that’s something that’s amazing about the internet, that sometimes it can offer you community.” And like Bishop GloRilla said, “At the end of the day, the day gotta end.”
Jodie on Dating
Like many of us, Jodie is over men. While she confessed to Glamour that she’s crushing on actor Steve Sanghyun Noh, the lead’s gorgeous husband in the Apple TV+ series Pachinko, she’s not currently dating. “Honestly, I think I love him,” she says, before quickly correcting herself, “I’m actually not dating, I’m over men.” In the meantime, she is searching for a cardboard cutout of Steve.
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Featured image by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret