Growing up, money management was nothing I was ever taught. I knew when my family had money and I knew when my family didn't. I was never taught the importance of saving, leaving your credit score untarnished, and living below your means. I am not saying that my upbringing is the sole reason for my past poor money practices, but I definitely will say that it didn't foster great money handling.
When I became an adult I got credit cards, got in debt, and lived above my means, not knowing how this would affect the future. If I had the money, I would spend it. When Rick and I got together, we were basically a hot mess express. We didn't have a clue about how to build a smart financial foundation, we didn't have great jobs, and were struggling to get by.
After a while, you just get tired of struggling, tired of being in debt, and not having that financial freedom. We were determined to make a change and get educated on how to be great stewards of our money.
If you are in a financial place you're uncomfortable with, remember that this is not a permanent situation. You can make the choice to turn your circumstance around.
This is how we did it:
1.Get educated on good money practices.
You can't fix something if you do not know how. As a starting point, I suggest reading a book to give you the tools to become a success. I read The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness and The Road to Wealth. If it is available to you, I would highly recommend taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Freedom course. This was offered through our church and was a definite game changer. You do have to pay for this course, but think of it as an investment to your success! Or find someone that is amazing with their money and pick their brain! Tools are needed to be financially successful!
2.Change your mindset.
You can read books and take all the financial courses available, and it will all be for naught if you aren't changing your mindset. Just because you got it in your bank account doesn't mean that you have to spend it! That was something I had to understand. You have to change the way you think about money. We had to put ourselves in the driver seat for our finances. You must gain discipline, and you have to truly make the choice to want to break out of the struggle.
3.Evaluate your financial situation.
I know this is something you probably have been dreading for a while but it is a MUST in order to understand exactly your starting point. To evaluate your financial situation, that means checking and writing down all the bank account balances, pulling up your credit scores (which you can go to annualcreditreport.com to get it), and logging into all of your debt accounts. Sometimes your credit report is not currently updated so you want to get the most recent balances. Lastly, you want to write out all your expenses. All this will help give you the detailed picture of where you are at financially. In order to accurately evaluate our financial situation, we simply started an Excel spreadsheet with all this information with a monthly output tab and debt tab.
4.Set goals.
Once we knew the damage, we started putting together clear goals that we wanted to achieve. We made monthly and yearly goals to start out. Initially, we didn't put together a 5- and 10-year plan. We wanted to get out of the weeds first, and then put that together. Some of our monthly goals were to save a certain amount per paycheck. Eliminate this x amount on eating out. You want to set realistic goals that you can achieve. Setting lofty goals that are hard to hit will just discourage you. Be fair to yourself. Some of our annual goals were to have a certain amount of debt paid off, and have x amount in the savings. Before getting our house, that was also a goal of ours that we were so excited to achieve. Additionally, we regularly do check-ins on our goals to ensure we are on pace to hit them.
5.Initiate growth in your career (if applicable).
When Rick and I first started out, part of our issues stemmed from the money we had coming in. Please note: Whatever you make, you MUST still be good stewards of your money. Even if you only have $100 coming in. With that, Rick and I knew where we wanted to be and how we wanted to live, and in order to do that, it required us to level up in our careers. To do that I started educating myself on positions I would like to be at. I started asking to shadow and gain additional skills. Once I got those skills, I started always consistently applying for jobs that were a level up. This will not be an overnight change, but definitely something for you to work towards. Again, you can make a lot of money and still be broke. So don't think that getting more income means it will solve your problems. However, when more came in, we would pour it into correcting our finances and saving.
6.Establish a budget.
Can you believe that we were operating at one point without a budget?! Yikes! We would just pay bills as we could and spend however we wanted. Big mistake! Everything should be accounted for, and bill payments should be planned out. It took some time to find a budget system that worked for us. We tried Quicken, using a friend's template, and creating our own. Ultimately, we ended up finding a free Excel budget template online. We then put it in Google sheets so we can both edit and see the updates immediately.
Budgeting has to be the core of how you operate with your money.
It allows you to account for everything. If you follow your budget, you will hit your financial goals without a doubt. Creating a budget is not the tough part, following it is the hardest (in my opinion).
7.Have family business meetings.
We learned about this at one of our church's couples conferences. This has been such a key factor to our success working together. Having your finances jointly is not easy. I handle money differently than Rick. What we have learned that one hand must always know what the other is doing, so communication is key. Family business meetings are designated times to talk about the family operations and finances. We put it on our schedule, and that allows us both to be mentally prepared for talking finances. We go through our budget, talk about any discrepancies, go through our family schedules, and check in on goals. These meetings have helped us work together effectively. You can do it weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly meetings, whichever you prefer.
8.Add a side hustle.
I have become a huge proponent of having multiple streams of income. It helps add some extra money to the bank account to pay bills off faster and to have for spending money. Plus it allows you not to be solely dependent on one income source. It can be doing contract work in a field that you are already in, doing Uber or Shipt, selling your clothes online, getting a night job, joining a MLM, starting your own business -- the options are endless! Having extra income definitely helped us hit our financial goals faster!
9.Eliminate procrastination.
This is real y'all. Some of our financial issues come into play simply because we were not proactive. My husband let me share this, but that is a huge thing my husband dealt with. Whether it was calling to set up a payment plan or putting off updating your resume. Years ago, my husband had an account close because he simply didn't call to make arrangements. Don't procrastinate paying your bills, making your budget, and/or talking to that bill collector. Be in control of your finances and stop procrastinating because it only makes financial issues worse.
10.Surround yourself with the right crew.
This applies to more than finances. Who are the people in your circle? Are they motivating you to be better? Or are they advocating for you to charge up that card and not go after leveling up? I am not saying drop those friends, but you definitely want to also be in a community with people that motivate and inspire you to be better.
11. Trim your expenses.
Once we established our budget, we then started looking at what we could cut out. Some of our expenses were things that could be eliminated or decreased. We decreased my shopping (insert sad face), lowered our cable package, went through those monthly subscriptions and took those out, decreased eating out, and so much more. You would be surprised with how much money you can have by simply cutting back on your expenses.
12. Save money.
This sounds simple, and really it is. Y'all, I have suggested a lot of things in this blog but this is basically mandatory. You have to grow your savings. Whether it will be for your future, or simply to have a safety net if something were to happen. Life will happen and you need a savings account that you are prepared for just in case. We save without even thinking about it.
We take a portion of our paychecks and have our employer deposit directly into our savings accounts. If we get bonuses, we put a large portion of that into savings or tithed more. We also use the feature with our bank that does keep the change and puts it into our savings. All of that really starts to add up. When you read any of Dave Ramsey's books, you will learn about the emergency fund and best practices of how much to have in savings. I have seen fellow influencers use a variety of apps that also help you save as well.
13. Pay off debt.
Once we made our plan to repair our finances, we got serious about being debt free. We do not want any type of debt. We use the snowball method where you pay debt off smallest to largest. This has helped us stay motivated and get some instant wins. We also have the mindset that if we can't buy it with cash, then it doesn't come home. We stopped getting store loans or charging it.
14. Live frugally.
This will look different for everyone, but you want to live beneath your means. Just because you got approved for this car amount, DOES NOT mean that you should purchase it. Get yourself in the mindset that just because you can, doesn't me you should! This was especially important for me to remember as our salaries increased. I had to put myself in check and remember where we once were. Rick and I have cut back on a lot.
15.Be patient and stay encouraged.
When we got fired up to really start getting serious about our finances, I was anxious for instant results. However, rebuilding your finances is not an instantaneous solution. Be patient, and know that it takes time. Keep doing the steps consistently and you will see success from it. This is a journey that you have to stay motivated. If you are married, help keep each other motivated. When my husband does something that helps us financially or takes care of something, I give him major kudos! You need to cheer each other on. If you are not married, find an accountability partner that can keep you encouraged.
Y'all, I am not a financial advisor. I am simply a person who at one point made poor financial choices, learned from my mistakes, and made a plan to recover and thrive. You can too. These tips to improve your finances are key elements that we took to fix our finances. Everyone's situation and journey will look different. I hope that you can implement even one of these tips and be successful!
Featured image courtesy of Taryn Newton
*Originally published on Glamorous VersatilityDid you know that xoNecole has a podcast? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to join us for weekly convos over cocktails (without the early morning hangover.)
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There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Victoria Monét’s Romantic Journey: A Deep Dive Into Her Dating History
Victoria Monét, the multi-talented singer-songwriter known for her sultry vocals and captivating performances, has been making waves not only for her music but also for her openness about her personal life. Best known for hits like "On My Mama" and collaborations with Usher, Monét's career continues to soar as she carves out a space in the R&B and pop landscape.
Alongside her musical success, her dating history has garnered attention, as she has been linked to several high-profile relationships, most notably with personal trainer and entrepreneur John Gaines, with whom she shares a daughter.
When it comes to her sexuality, Monét was hesitant at the beginning of her career to share she identified as bisexual. In an interview with Variety, she said, “I thought that conforming would make me go further. Being picturesque, straight… It almost felt like you didn’t want to add any more weights to your ankles trying to win a race. It’s like, you’re already a woman, you’re already Black — you’d better pick a struggle.”
In November 2018, the artist publicly announced her bisexuality in a post on X (formerly Twitter). This revelation empowered her to express her true self more openly through her music. Notably, in the 2019 duet with Ariana Grande "Monopoly," she sings, "I swerve both ways, dichotomy / I like women and men," boldly asserting her sexual orientation. Additionally, she composed the sensual track "Touch Me," the concluding song on Jaguar. This song is dedicated to her fellow R&B singer, Kehlani, with whom she had a relationship, and who is featured on the remix version of the song. More on this later.
Victoria’s music often reflects themes of love, sensuality, and freedom, creating a safe space for those who feel marginalized or misunderstood. By embracing her true self, both in her personal and professional life, Monét is a powerful voice of representation for queer women of color in the music industry.
Also, is it me or does Victoria Monét stay with a baddie? Let’s run back Victoria’s dating history by using some of her hit songs.
Touch Me: Rumors of Victoria and Kehlani Dating
For years, we have been speculating that Victoria and Kehlani had a lil something going on. Just this year, the “Ass Like That” singer confirmed their relationship. During a High Low with EmRata podcast interview with Emily Ratajkowski, she spilled the tea on her past relationship with Kehlani, working with Ariana Grande, and her love for R&B legend Sade.
The innanets were saying that Victoria’s fling with Kehlani started in 2020 when they recorded the “Touch Me” remix. During the interview, the 30-year-old revealed that she was expecting a child when she and the Kehlani worked together on a song that appeared to be about the "After Hours" singer.
While maintaining a neutral stance towards past romantic partners, Monét has refrained from divulging specific details about her previous relationship with Kehlani. She told Ratajkowski, “[We’re] friends. I kind of am like that with all of my past relationships. I really don’t like the idea of like, now someone’s dead to me, unless they did… I mean, some of my relationships ended where they did me wrong.”
Victoria went on to say, “But like, I don’t know. I just got over it, and I like to have that kind of an open connection, like, I don’t wanna kill somebody off and be like there’s a rule of me not to speak to them ’cause I feel like that takes even more energy to like, try to avoid people and trying to hate them.”
Breaking Point: Victoria Monét’s Relationship With John Gaines
In their romantic journey, Victoria Monét and John Gaines have consistently centered their attention on their small family unit.
Our first glimpse of Gaines came in Victoria's music video for "Moment," where the couple shared some incredibly passionate and sensual kisses.
Initially, they maintained a low-key approach to their relationship but later announced a significant milestone in December 2020: they were anticipating the arrival of their first child. Their daughter, Hazel, entered their lives in February 2021, completing their family circle.
Later that year, Victoria shared with ESSENCE, “We’re completely in love and enjoying our new chapter. [Hazel has] really got him wrapped around her finger, and I’ve seen him change in ways that I know he didn’t expect. She’s growing us up.”
Earlier this year, we found the family oozing adorable family vibes as they all took to the Grammy red carpet looking like walking mannequins. That night our queen took home three awards including Best New Artist.
— Victoria Monét (@VictoriaMonet) September 23, 2024
After seven months, the couple revealed in a joint statement that they had decided to discretely end their relationship. “We spent the last 10 months trying to respectfully and privately navigate the fact that we are no longer in a relationship. Though we still completely adore and respect each other, we are not a couple anymore.”
The announcement continued, “There was no infidelity, toxic behavior, or drama. We both just have some fundamental growing to do that would best be done apart so we can remain the best versions of ourselves for our daughter.”
We Might Be Falling in Love: Victoria’s Budding Romance with Stormzy
Word on the street is that the Jaguar baddie has moved on with a certain tall, dark, and handsome British rapper. Victoria was seen showing some major PDA with Stormzy earlier this month. The Sun released photos of the two embracing and kissing at Heathrow Airport less than a month after Victoria announced her split from John Gaines. According to The Sun, “the 6ft 5in star grinned as he gave Victoria a hug before kissing her on the lips.” An onlooker told the outlet, “Both Stormzy and Victoria looked absolutely smitten with each other.”
Ironically, Stormzy also announced his breakup from TV host beauty Maya Jama this summer, after rekindling their romance. The stars—who had previously dated from 2014 to 2019—acknowledged that they had attempted to make their relationship work, but it ultimately didn't, and that was an acceptable outcome.
"We've been laughing whilst drafting this because we never, ever, in a million years thought we'd be the couple announcing a breakup,” the former couple wrote in a joint statement. "But for the sake of clarity and, more importantly, to allow us the space and grace that's needed for us both to be able to navigate this next bit of our lives with peace, we thought it might be best to.”
Neither camp — Stormzy or Victoria — has confirmed the dating rumors but we all know a picture is worth 1000 words.
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Featured image by TheStewartofNY/WireImage