

As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Melissa's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
As we navigate today's racial pandemic and the symbolic gestures shared by public and private businesses and organizations, it is extremely important to move from symbolism to reality. Representation whether it's external through the vendors and services utilized, or internal through hiring, seniority and board service is a pivotal first step in inclusiveness and equity.
Over the last five years, I have served as a board member and Chair of the Board of Directors for a NYC-based organization enhancing the opportunities for children, families and social workers in the foster system, Fostering Change for Children. In 2020, I added to my passion for service by being invited and then appointed to the board of the National Job Corps Association.
In both cases, I am the only Black woman currently serving.
I knew this would be a factor, as oftentimes it is in corporate, but over time it occurred to me, that we just aren't aware of how to join a board—or it's simply something that we don't have those conversations about enough. I recently came across an article on xoNecole titled, "10 Black Women Pulling Up To The C-Suite On The Boards Of Fortune 500 Companies", and I knew I needed to share what I knew in the sector about this topic. So many of us could bring our voices to the table, for palpable change and contributions to building a more equitable society. Each one, teach one, right?
So, ladies, here's everything I know, detailed and outlined, to take that new leap in your career. I hope to see you all in the boardroom!
How To Get Started
Before we dive into this, let's answer this question: why do you want to be a board member?
Well, becoming a board member is an opportunity to exercise your passions, skills and knowledge outside of your everyday 9-5; sort of on an internal, progressive level. And the process may seem daunting if you don't know where to start.
Because I personally find deep and personal fulfillment in knowing that my decision-making and experiences are directly impacting the communities that reflect both me and my family, I decided to actually become active in researching the best ways to break into this sector.
I joined the United Way's BoardServe program, which provided me with a three-hour orientation on the inner workings of nonprofit boards, whether learning or presenting their fiduciary/monetary legal guidelines, or something as seemingly simple as taking minutes during a convening. I then completed a profile which identified my strengths (communications, branding, social impact) and interests (children, family, the arts). Following my profile creation, my data was shared with a number of organizations searching to onboard new members and then the "dating" process began.
It's important to remember that your time is valuable and your true commitment will be amplified by how connected you are to the particular cause. I engaged in approximately four meet-and-greet sessions over coffee with nonprofit CEOs who pitched me on their organization, their board member requirements and why they believed that I would be a great fit. There were some fantastic meetings, but some orgs either didn't speak to the heart of my interests, had time commitments that didn't fit my availability, or needed to do a bit more work internally before I felt comfortable lending my expertise and/or criticism to their environment.
And that's OK. We have to find what is a good fit for us.
You can search for board member training programs in your local community or identify your areas of interest. For example, when I search for organizations based in Memphis for the arts, it leads me to: https://www.artsmemphis.org/organizations. From there, I would research the Head of Advancement/Philanthropy or CEO, depending on the size and staff structure of the organization to express my interest.
Commitment Requirements
Monetary
Typical board commitments at a minimum is to give (donation) or get (solicitation through fundraising in your personal and professional networks) a financial gift. Not all organizations require board member financial obligations, but this is one of the first questions that you should ask before acting upon interest. Be certain that you can fulfill the financial commitment which can range from the low hundreds into tens of thousands of dollars depending on the board.
Time Commitment
Your next inquiry should be on the time commitment expected. Typically boards meet on a quarterly basis for 2-4 hours with breakout committees meeting in between. Based on my personal interests, I volunteer my time on the committees for events and communications which often consist of an additional two hours of phone calls each month and the work in executing our various events or deliverables.
Serving Period
The length of board service is dependent on the specific organization with some boards voting yearly on their members and others going as long as five years or indefinitely for seats. On average, you should expect to recommit every two years or to have your board use that as a marker of time served to allow someone new to come onboard.
Board Service Benefits & Development
Becoming a board member has expanded my professional network. While also a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority, and dedicating myself to a lifetime of service, I can now add my two board seats to my resume. Hiring managers will now view your commitment to service as a mark of responsibility, additional training, and professionalism.
Access is key to Black women shattering the glass ceiling.
By opening your circle's influence through board service and volunteerism, you can connect with additional and like-minded peers who can speak to your ability to get things done. That's what we are best at. It's up to us to validate our purpose. Nonprofit board service is a wonderful entry point into corporate board service, which in addition to opening your network, can also pay off in major dividends as board members are compensated for their time. Becoming a board member will align with your passion, connect with your community, and give you the very important opportunity to represent so many of us who've had muffled voices for generations; the voices of those who look like us.
Melissa C. Potter Monsanto is dedicated to standing at the forefront of impact, innovation, and social responsibility by using entertainment, media, partnerships and advocacy as a catalyst for social change. Follow her on Instagram at @melissacpotter to keep up with her journey or to ask more questions about starting your board journey.
Featured image courtesy of Melissa Monsanto
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak