In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.
In 2013, Brittany and Spencer Collins met after crossing paths at random. Six years, four anniversaries, and three children later, this couple is living proof that good things come in unexpected packages. Their love story began after Brittany's former employer was assigned to her future husband's route. "He was delivering packages to my old job and I thought he was so freaking cute!" the 27-year-old mother-of-three explained. "I used to hope for a package daily just to hear him say, 'Can you sign for me?' and 'How's your day going?' I enjoyed any little conversation we had. I had a legit crush on him! I felt like I was in middle school waiting to switch classes just to see him in the hall."
Over time, Brittany and Spencer's small talk led to big energy and the couple discovered that their attraction to one another was mutual. "She gave me butterflies!" Spencer gushed. "When I first saw her smile at me, I was instantly intrigued and wanted to get to know her more."
While Brittany and Spencer's life of melanin matrimony may appear effortless, this couple is here to let you know there is assembly required when it comes to making a marriage work. In this month's segment of Our First Year, we chatted with them about how they met, falling in love, and why communication is a must in their marriage.
Here's what we learned:
The One
Brittany: This might sound a little cliche, but I knew [he was the one] right away. We went on our first official date and on the way home I wanted to go straight to the courthouse. Our vibes were so in sync from day one. I knew that marriage was the next step when he didn't run off after meeting my dad. Any man that is willing to respectfully stand up to a man who, at the time wouldn't shake his hand. But he knew it was important to me and was willing to go through the fire for me. He got to sit down with my dad one-on-one and then I knew he was my husband!
Spencer: We hit it off right away. It was like we had already been dating---how we finished each other's sentences and thoughts. She gave me that feeling that I've never felt with anyone else. I knew we would get married after our first date. We went to a concert in D.C. and on the ride home I opened about my feelings about her and how she made me feel. It was the moment I felt we both really connected and were on the same page. I knew right then that marriage was in our future. I just didn't know when.
"I knew we would get married after our first date. We went to a concert in D.C. and on the ride home I opened about my feelings about her and how she made me feel. It was the moment I felt we both really connected and were on the same page. I knew right then that marriage was in our future. I just didn't know when."
Overcoming Fears In Marriage
Brittany: [I had a] fear of divorce/failure. We took the option off the table. We promised to always communicate and never stop trying.
Spencer: [My fear was] not being the husband that God intended me to be. I prayed about my fears and communicated with her about them. We both had the same concerns/fears so talking about them made me feel at ease.
Baggage Claim
Brittany: I had some serious trust issues at the time. Feeling like I couldn't do things on my own. I really had to look at myself even before considering dating anyone. I had to trust myself with making the right decisions for my life and know that if I picked the right person, they won't make me worry so I have to be secure with myself first; acknowledging that was the first part. Then, taking time to step away from the outside world and noise to really enjoy time and get to know myself. I had to find that it's OK to let someone take care of you without feeling crippled and it's OK to put on the belt to help the pants stay on as well without belittling him. It is a slippery slope but that is where communication comes in.
Whenever we are going through a rough patch, we set aside one day of the week to talk and have completely open floor conversations about things the other is doing right, wrong, or things we want to change or work on. We really open the floor for anything. Just to have that uninterrupted time together has helped with overcoming though hills in our marriage.
Spencer: Individually, I had to learn to take myself out of the equation at times and see things from her perspective. A lot of times I would harbor feelings instead of expressing them. It's hard for another person to understand you if you don't express those issues. Once I talked to her about it, I would feel 10 times better about it. We would set a certain day out the week to just talk about anything we had on our minds with no judgment!
Courtesy of Brittany Collins
"Whenever we are going through a rough patch, we set aside one day of the week to talk and have completely open floor conversations about things the other is doing right, wrong, or things we want to change or work on. We really open the floor for anything. Just to have that uninterrupted time together has helped with overcoming though hills in our marriage."
Love Languages
Brittany: I read The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lastsbook before meeting him so I was very aware of what my languages were, which definitely helped in our relationship. We took the test together once married and discussed expectations. We keep the results for if ever we need a reminder.
Spencer: I never knew about love languages before we met so it was a whole new different area for me to navigate. She had to remind me a few times, so it did take some time to become aware and translate it in our marriage.
Important Lessons In Marriage
Brittany: You have to make the choice to put your pride to the side, whether right or wrong, and listen to understand, compromise and concur. I had to shut my mouth and create a plan versus get upset and say, "You are on your own." Teamwork is the key factor.
Spencer: Learn to listen instead of going back and forth about concerns. It was tough in the beginning because we're still trying to understand the dos and don'ts. Just taking time to talk to one another and set up a plan for what will make things better for each other.
Courtesy of Brittany Collins
"You have to make the choice to put your pride to the side, whether right or wrong, and listen to understand, compromise and concur."
Overcoming Challenges
Brittany: Communicating and compromising are key when sharing spaces. We lived together prior to getting married with very little stuff so that helped the transition. As far as finances, we had to make the choice to give the responsibility to the person that was better with numbers. We sat down and did the overall budget together but generally, I am responsible for keeping that in line.
Spencer: It was challenging at times, me going from having my own space to becoming a father figure. I was used to certain spending habits that I had to compromise [on]. She has always been great with money so learning from her habits helped me work on mine. Communicating with each other about our concerns about one another was key.
The Best Part
Brittany: I love how he remains calm and is very supportive. He has a very chill spirit that complements my personality. Whenever I have an idea, he is on board immediately---he supports and trusts my decision. He has a lot of faith in me, and I love that about him.
Spencer: I love how she is very goal-oriented. When she sets her mind on something, she gives 110%. She is very creative and crafty, and she values family and God.
Best Advice
Brittany: Keep God first in your marriage and communication even in tough situations. I would not suggest telling anyone every little thing in your marriage. Choose wisely who you confide in and what you are telling. You never know who is rooting for your downfall, who is hanging up with you to phone a friend, or who is giving you the wrong advice. Also, what you tell people while you are upset or venting you will get over, but they may never forget. If you choose to confide in someone, keep that one person at max.
Spencer: It's all teamwork at the end of the day. One person can't do it all in a marriage or relationship. Put God first and have good communication with one another. I feel that when it comes to your marriage, some topics should be handled in-house. Not everyone is in it for your best interests.
"It's all teamwork at the end of the day. One person can't do it all in a marriage or relationship. Put God first and have good communication with one another. I feel that when it comes to your marriage, some topics should be handled in-house. Not everyone is in it for your best interests."
Building Together
Brittany: Creating memories and a good financial foundation for our children to start on is our primary goal. Love and friendship are the roots of our foundation. My goals will create extra income and allow more free time to take trips and see the world with my family.
Spencer: Being financially stable would be our common goal. Being able to support our family while still enjoying life [is also important]. Establishing a friendship first has always been our foundation. Doing my part to communicate with her regarding the budget---those things are needed in the home.
For more Brittany & Spencer, follow them on Instagram @spenceandbritt!
Featured image courtesy of Brittany Collins.
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert