

You just started your first job out of college. What you prepared for your entire life to jumpstart your career is this very moment. You've set performance goals, and you've started your list of senior leaders you plan to set lunch dates with, but are you communicating well with your manager? As you prepare for your future, which can be next year, next week or even tomorrow, one thing we all forget to take ownership of is our communication skills.
How we communicate is vital in our growth and will be a pain point in your formative years in your career.
"As new grads starting their first job out of college, communication can be your greatest asset or challenge," shared Meredith Moore Crosby, author of "Getting Unstuck: A Guide To Moving Your Career Forward", a guide on how to advance at work. From emails to phone or in-person meetings, the way you communicate in a corporate setting doesn't come with your degree. It's on the job soft skills you pick up from managers, peers, and companies, but it's a skillset some organizations expect you to have right away.
Crosby is a communications expert who managed teams at Verizon, McDonald's, 3M and Comcast and understands how communications can be pivotal in "navigating the unwritten rules" of corporate America. "It starts with the understanding [that the rules] exist and getting clarity early about what your manager and the people who can decide your fate at work [want]. Whether you get promoted or fired all depends on how you react and communicate," she shared.
Here are her tips for working through communication challenges that present themselves at work:
Understand how your manager communicates.
"Most of us hope to work at our first real job for a while. Your first job is where you'll develop skills, friendships, and habits. Often the company culture shows up in how people communicate, so the first few weeks can be difficult while you learn the unwritten rules," shared Crosby. She advises that you open communication lines with regular one-on-one meetings. You create a road map to how you'd like to communicate your progress or challenges with your manager.
She suggests you assess how your manager interacts during the early days of your new job by asking these three questions:
- How do people get more information on the direction?
- How would you like to give me feedback on my work?
- How will I know if I am off track or missing your expectations?
Ask for clarity when you don't understand what your manager wants.
Sometimes the directions our managers give us aren't always clear. However, we often hit a crossroad when considering whether to ask for clarification or figure it ourselves. Will our manager think we are incompetent if we don't understand our assignments? But what if we work on the task inefficiently by doing the wrong thing?
To help with understanding your work, Crosby suggests you ask for examples, templates, or expectations when you receive new assignments.
"Take time when getting new work to reconfirm the expectations, timeline, and what to do if you have existing priority work," she explained. She suggests asking for clarity before agreeing by saying, "Thanks for the opportunity to work on this! I was working on XX as we discussed in our weekly one-on-one, should I switch gears and focus on this based on when you want to see something?"
Remember written communication can follow you.
Emails and messaging software like Slack are like social media. Even if you delete it, it can't be unseen by others, and it can be printed or referred to over and over again. "Remember, it's a written document that can come up in legal issues in the future. Never joke, be sarcastic or make comments you wouldn't want to clarify in a court of law," Crosby shared. Her three tips for managing email communications at work include:
- Be respectful, kind, and conscious of the timeliness of your email. When in doubt, talk in person and resolve an issue or opportunity immediately.
- Use bold to highlight actions and don't be afraid to resend friendly reminders if you don't get a response.
- Get an email buddy. Ask them to review your message for tone, clarity, and to make sure you aren't getting distracted by your perspective.
Find a mentor.
There's always that one person at work who sends great emails and gives excellent speeches at work. They capture your attention every time they speak at a meeting or send an email. If you have identified that person at work, Crosby believes that that person can be a mentor for you.
"Find a role model and if possible, build a relationship, and you can potentially cultivate a mentorship where you can get individual feedback. In the meantime, consider how they would respond in situations where you might feel stuck."
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Originally published on September 2, 2019
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Brittney Oliver is a marketing communications professional from Greater Nashville. Over the past three years, Brittney has built her platform Lemons 2 Lemonade to help Millennials turn life's obstacles around. Her platform is known for its networking mixers, which has brought over 300 NYC young professionals, entrepreneurs, and creatives together to turn life's lemons into lemonade. Brittney is a contributing writer for Fast Company and ESSENCE, among other media outlets.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Are You & Your Partner Financially Compatible? Here’s How To Tell.
With nearly half of all marriages that end in divorce citing finances as the nail in the coffin to deading their relationship, financial compatibility is one aspect of long-term compatibility that doesn't get talked about enough. Beyond the circular 50/50 discourse and whatever hot-button issues regarding providers and the like, at its core, financial compatibility is about how well your financial behaviors, values, and long-term goals align with those of your partner.
More than it is about how much money a person makes or doesn't make, financial compatibility focuses on how you think about money, how you spend your money, and most importantly, how you plan for the future with your money. Think, questions about money mindsets, spending habits, debt, budget, etc. Are you a saver and he's a spender? Do you see money as a tool for freedom? Does he see it as something to hold on tightly to as a means of survival? Can you talk about your financial goals and plans openly?
Knowing if you and your partner are financially compatible can save a lot of heartache, a lot of headaches, and a lot of money in the end. Keep reading for a few key indicators to pay attention to and learn whether or not you and your partner are truly aligned financially.
Signs You’re Financially Compatible
1. You can talk about money without judgment.
Conversations about money aren't something you dread. You're able to talk to your partner freely and openly about money matters, like debts, bills, the budget, etc., even when it is uncomfortable. There is an understanding that talking about money doesn't have to be something you're on the defense about, instead it's an opportunity for transparency, clarity, and solutions.
2. You respect each other's money personalities.
What is a money personality? According to Ken Honda, author of Happy Money, a money personality is our "approach and emotional responses to money" and there are seven money personalities we can fall under. These personalities can help us understand our own relationship with money, as well as our partner's. For example, maybe you're someone who likes to treat yourself to a fancy dinner once a month and your partner is someone who believes ordering takeout and not cooking meals at home is a cardinal sin.
When you can respect each other's money personalities, neither approach is subjected to judgment and shifts can be made in each other's spending habits as needed and from a place of love versus guilt or shame.
3. You agree on what it means to have "financial security."
Whether it’s building a stacked emergency fund, paying off debt before putting a downpayment on a home or being able to splurge on a baecation without checking your account balance before the bill arrives, your definitions of what it means to be financially secure are in sync, or at least compatible enough to reach a compromise.
4. You are not each other's "financial parent."
You’re not constantly teaching, fixing, or stressing out over what the other person is doing with their money. Although I fast-forwarded through a lot of the most recent season of Love Is Blind, I did pay attention to Virginia and Devin and money seemed to be a recurring theme in their conversations. It was clear Virginia had her ish together when it came to money and her financial plans for the future and Devin was not quite on her level.
Though she said no at the altar for additional reasons, I could also see how sis could eventually get very tired of being her partner's second mama, so to speak. And that's the thing about being your partner's "financial parent," eventually, you could end up feeling like you are one-half of a "parenting" or "teaching" dynamic with your partner instead of feeling like you're equals in a partnership.
5. You make financial decisions with each other in mind, not for each other.
Whether it’s booking a trip, deciding which debt to tackle first, saving up for a big purchase, or planning out your next move, there’s a mutual respect for each other’s input. Those shared goals might look like wealth, freedom, stability, or just a debt-free life that feels soft and secure.
You don’t have to be chasing the same bag in the same exact way, but you do need to be aligned on the vision. What you're building should feel like a joint venture with shared effort and purpose, not one of y’all making major money moves like you're still single. Making financial decisions is not just about where the money goes, it's about where you’re going together.
6. You're aligned when it comes to the big stuff.
Financial compatibility extends to the long-term of money management. The legacy, structure, and shared responsibility that comes with decisions like shared accounts, estate planning, having babies, or even blending families. Will you split bills or combine income? Who’s taking time off if you have a child? How do y’all feel about generational wealth or investing for your family’s future? You and your partner have had the real conversations.
These conversations can’t wait until after the wedding or until after a baby’s here. They’re the foundation for how you function as a unit, and if you're not aligned, or at least willing to get on the same page, that incompatibility can cause friction in the end that love alone can't fix.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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