

Publicly defining a relationship has come a long way since the days of updating our Facebook status from single to in a relationship. What was once a moment to outwardly declare your transition from being unpartnered to becoming officially cuffed has gotten a serious upgrade in its mystery and inconspicuous nature.
Enter the soft launch.
The Art of the Soft Launch: What Is Soft Launching?
The “soft launch” is a relationship term that comedian Rachel Sennott first coined in a viral tweet. In the early stages of a budding relationship, it’s the process of gradually teasing the presence of a new partner without ever revealing their identity. It’s the art of discretion and privacy that allows you to only share what you desire before going fully public while leaving the rest to the viewer's imagination. And my, has the internet gotten crafty with it?
How To Soft Launch Your Relationship On Social Media
If you’re wondering what makes a soft launch photo different from other documented displays of partnership, it’s all about the angle. An arm across the dinner table, a tapered fade only seen from behind, or a muscular hand gripping the inner thigh of a passenger princess are all prime real estate for spotting the coveted soft-launch image.
No face, no case. That is, unless, of course, it omits the upper or bottom half of their silhouette. And absolutely no tagged profiles. It’s all about striking the balance of not keeping your partner a secret while still maintaining a sense of autonomy and privacy around how you choose to publicly share the relationship and when you choose to do so.
Why the Soft Launch Works
No matter a person’s social status, there’s always a good reason to keep your relationship protected from the court of public opinion. Newly partnered people can find it challenging to avoid the pressure of having their relationship placed under a microscope and made a spectacle via social media, with eyes from strangers, old acquaintances, and even disapproving family members. With a soft launch, you’re able to foster the narrative of your relationship as it grows and even protect your partner from any unwanted judgment or opinions.
One social media starlet couple recently supplied us with a textbook example of how to go from soft-launching to hard-launching with expert precision.
@alwaysjalen Certified flower lovers 💐
After months of speculation and fan theories, Monet McMichael and Jalen Noble, popular social media creators, went from soft launch teases to full-out, hard launch status with a series of heart-melting video mashups to announce their buzzing romantic involvement.
Monet, a beauty and lifestyle content creator and GRWM queen with over 3.5 million on TikTok, has garnered an online community that has fallen in love with her charismatic and BFF-in-your-head energy. Jalen is best known for his time as a former participant on Love Island USA and his dog-loving and homely lifestyle content, with a TikTok following of 1.1 million, making them a social media power couple.
From February until their official announcement in April, fans of Jalen and Monet put on their FBI badges and went to work, piecing together the subtle signs, clues, and teases that the two each shared in their social media posts. One post, in particular, featured Monet taking her first ice bath plunge in Jalen's all-too-familiar barrel, followed by a video where Monet provided the voiceover for Jalen's day-in-the-life vlog.
However, nothing could top the couple’s grand unveiling when they took to social media to share a heartwarming and tear-jerking video mashup capturing the precious moments of their freshly unwrapped love story, one so adorable that you couldn’t look away.
When it comes to a soft launch, who doesn’t love a good tease? And taking a note from Monet and Jalen’s book, soft-launching gives new couples the time and space to get to know each other on a deeper level without the pressure, expectations, and attention that may come with a more public-facing relationship.
Not only do these hints and clues keep your social circle curious, but they also allow you to keep your relationship sacred and untainted from outside voices for as long as possible.
Whether you're eager to “my man, my man” your social media peeps to the ground or want to cherish the early stages and moments of your relationship, the beauty in these launches is that it’s totally up to your discretion. It may seem trivial to some, but in our digital age, it gives you agency over how much or how little you choose to share.
When you start sharing intimate details of your love life online, it's a sign of commitment. And with a tasteful soft launch in place, it allows both you and your partner to focus on building a strong connection without external distractions. By prioritizing privacy, you're creating an environment that fosters genuine and long-lasting bonds. It's a healthy approach that paves the way for a fulfilling relationship.
And as they say: private life, happy life.
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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