When you're standing at the edge of a cliff, staring down into a valley at the ground that will not so gracefully catch you if you fail, the last thing you may want to do is jump. But if you're someone who's been struggling to take a leap of faith, don't sweat it, sis. In fact, some of your biggest blessings can come from being unwillingly pushed into your power.
Meet Dr. Lauren Elise, an Atlanta-based entrepreneur who can bump Gucci Mane in the streets and code switch like a mug in a Monday morning boardroom meeting.
The Set-Up
Shot by @quturemedia
After earning her bachelor's from Middle Tennessee State University, her master's from Belmont, and her doctorate from Argosy Atlanta, Lauren is one social media doctor with credentials, and you should put some respect on all three of them. She told xoNecole, "No matter if I do have a doctorate degree, I still can rap Gucci Mane lyrics. I still stay true to myself and I think a lot of times people are drawn into authenticity and that they're also drawn into a little bit of transparency."
In the past, Lauren says that she never really had an entrepreneur's mindset, but today she spends most of her time putting other budding CEOs on game with her consulting business, The Social Media Doctor, running her non-profit organization Adjust Your Crown Mentoring, and getting flewed out to a number of paid speaking engagements around the country. So far, she's secured partnerships with Micheal Kors, and given away a number of scholarships to women in need, and according to Lauren, she's just getting started.
While this 32-year-old CEO may be killing the entrepreneurial game now, things weren't always this way. In 2016, less than four years after moving to Atlanta to forge a new career path, Lauren was hit with a major bombshell that would permanently alter the trajectory of her future. In a shocking announcement from her employer of four years, she learned that she would now be forced to look for a new place of work.
The Breakdown
The news sent the multimedia maven's life into a tailspin and although the company had given her a hefty severance package upon her dismissal, Lauren was still left without the security and stability that was previously offered by her 9 to 5.
Along with dealing with the emotional weight of being hundreds of miles away from home, Lauren also had to consider the residual effect that her latest career transition would have on her financial obligations. She explained, "I have a whole mortgage. I bought a house in 2014, so I was just like whoa. That was a big shocker, to go from having a job for four years to them saying, 'Oh, here are the options to get severance.' And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up."
Feeling alone in a new city and lost without her former professional title, Lauren felt as though her sky was falling and there was nothing that she could do to stop it. "I was so distraught, like, oh my goodness, what am I gonna do? I didn't even want to leave the house."
Soon after, Lauren found work at a significantly smaller company where she continued to polish her skills in social media management, but still didn't quite feel fulfilled. In 2018, the one-day entrepreneur caught a serious case of deja vu when, for a second time, she was let go from her job and tasked with starting a new career journey from scratch. But two years later, hearing that news hit different for the would-be entrepreneur because this time around, she had a secret weapon: insight.
The Breakthrough
Shot by @quturemedia
Throughout her experience, the business owner said that there is one quote that has proven to be law: "'Sometimes God gives you the same test because you didn't pass the first time.' I saw it on my timeline three times and it was like, that's my sign. I literally didn't pass the first time, here's another opportunity. That time around honey, I didn't stress."
Even though her severance package was non-existent and her plan was even more unplanned than the first time she was let go, Lauren said that since she had already started her own business a year prior, her vision was clearer than ever before. "In my mind, I was already ready to go because it wasn't what it was in the beginning. It changed. It wasn't fun. It was stressful. It was hostile. So when that happened it was like, 'Oh, thank you.'"
It was then that Lauren decided to become the master of her destiny and took on the task of running The Social Media Doctor full-time because when you're the boss, the only one who can stop your hustle is you.
"It basically just changed my mindset on businesses and how they operate. Like they have the last say so. They can make whatever decision, and you just have to accept it. You can't get so bent out of shape because that was your time ending there."
Lessons Learned
Like any toxic relationship, failed career decisions don't always start out that way. When your part-time hustle that was meant to fund your dreams turns into a full-time burden that can only pay the bills, it's easy to forget that you deserve better.
Sometimes it takes God pushing us out of a situation to realize that we were never meant to be there in the first place, and in Lauren's mind, being laid off was one of the best things that could have happened to her because it was the first real step into the destiny she deserves.
"Some people are forced into some of their blessings because they probably didn't want to willingly do it. But if you don't, you'll eventually be forced. Inevitably, you're going to go willingly or you are going to be pushed."
There's nobody who can do you, like you, and Lauren is a testament of the glory that comes when you capitalize on your weakest moments instead of criticizing yourself for them.
Learn more about Lauren and her clever endeavors by following her on Instagram @dr.laurenelise and get your social media all the way together @TheSocialMediaDr!
Featured image by @lavishpixels.
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak