Maybe you meet him at a networking event. Maybe even on Tinder.
You exchange contact information, chat for a week or two, and begin to feel a genuine connection with the person on the other end of the line. The anticipation of finally meeting up for a date slowly builds, so you set up a day and time to finally go out. In preparation, you go all out: nails done, hair done, everything did. The air of romance and the potential to be briskly swept off your feet and ride off into the distance with your knight in shining armor makes you feel like the next Meghan Markle.
And then, pause.
He wants you to just come over and "catch a vibe". This, ladies, is what is being labeled as "the pre-date". The new but not-quite-so-new way for a guy, or girl, to "temperature check" and feel you out with the goal of gauging whether or not you are quote-unquote "worthy of a real first date where real coins are spent." Simply put, it's testing the waters to see if he can get the goods without spending the money and/or making a real emotional or spiritual investment.
For millenials, there is no shortage of verbiage to explain away the foolery. We've had to deal with "ghosting", "breadcrumbing", "the slow fade", "benching", and now THIS?? Has "let's meet for drinks after work" replaced the traditional dinner and a movie first date? If you ask Twitter, it sure has. A debate has been sparked which might leave you wondering if there is any hope left in the dating world.
So, what is a pre-date?
Most are NOT here for it and have strong opinions on the type of men that would have the audacity to suggest such a thing. Some are even trying to intellectualize the phenomenon. But in true Twitter fashion, the responses turned out to be quite hilarious:
I was just having a conversation with a friend of mine regarding dating in a big city this weekend before I stumbled upon this trending topic. Let's be real, in today's world, the options for men are endless and the dating pool is quite deep. Sometimes it feels like they are treating women and dating as if they were shopping right out of a catalogue.
With the swipe of a finger, these guys have the proverbial pick of the litter.
Pre-dating is the product of this and many other things, but when did we as women have to prove our worth just to enjoy a meal and a good conversation with someone who was also seemingly interested in us, too? It's almost like a twisted role reversal in which women are now required to woo and court the men of this generation.
So, do we give in an accept a pre-date from time to time knowing the potential pitfalls of the interaction? Are we all ready to dump tradition just to catch a "vibe"? Perhaps I am a little rusty at this dating game, but I've been a victim of the pre-date. And while it hasn't worked out in my favor, I learned from it. I learned what I'm willing to accept in the beginning stages, what I value about myself, and what I offer in the dating realm.
And I've also learned just how many guys are really about this pre-dating life.
That is why it is so important to carve out what you truly desire from this dating game. Whether you write it out in your journal or specify it on your Bumble profile, that reminder can serve as a guideline on how you chose to move in this dating world.
Make no compromises when it comes to what you truly want out of life, because if it's not on sale, don't offer any discounts.
Featured image by Getty Images
RELATED
From Rihanna pairing her caviar with chicken nuggets (I wonder if our Fenty queen shares with RZA and Riot Rose or if this is just for mama) to Bethenny Frankel educating us on caviar with her series "Caviar University," there’s just no escaping it.
And let’s not forget the elite king himself, DeAndre Brown, indulging in fried chicken and caviar! From videos with caviar-topped burgers, potato latkes, deviled eggs, and pasta dishes—folks are topping everything with caviar. Yet, I had not come across any Black-owned caviar brands until I discovered Caviar Dream.
My Introduction Into Caviar
I started off eating caviar in undergrad on top of sushi, exploring with a variety of roe and tobiko but as an adult, I knew I was ready to try something a little more refined. The first time I fell in love with caviar was in grad school at a southern Italian restaurant in Flatiron.
I tried an appetizer that featured caviar on bruschetta, served with thick garlic bread and burrata cheese, and from that moment, I was hooked. That has become my favorite way to enjoy caviar next to this filet mignon crostini appetizer that I served recently at a dinner party.
Everything You Need To Know About Caviar Dream
Caviar Dream
Courtesy of Yasmine Jameelah
Caviar Dream is the first nationally distributed Black- and woman-owned caviar business, redefining how people experience caviar. Founded by Kendra Anderson, a Chicago-based chef and sommelier, the company’s mission is to make caviar more accessible and inclusive, breaking down barriers and demystifying this delicacy.
What Caviar I Tried
Caviar Dream Kaluga Hybrid ($105-$420 depending on the ounce)
How I Experienced The Caviar:
For this review, I opted for a more traditional approach by pairing Caviar Dream's Kaluga Hybrid with crème fraîche, blinis, and my favorite Black-owned champagne, Le KOOL Champagne by Robert Kool Bell.
My Caviar Dream spread
Courtesy of Yasmine Jameelah
My Honest Review:
I do not say this lightly - this was by far the best caviar I’ve ever had in my life. It was buttery, had no aftertaste, and truly felt as luxurious as it looked.
Prior to this, my favorite caviar was Imperial Caviar. I’ve tried many brands, from well-known to affordable, while recreating my favorite decadent appetizers at home or enjoying caviar bumps at parties with my friends and they were my favorite until now.
Caviar Dream boasts that chefs are obsessed with this versatile hybrid, which tastes more expensive than it actually is—and they were right. This buttery caviar would pair well with any recipe, especially if you’re looking to impress someone or even treat yourself.
As a Black woman, a business owner, and someone who understands that an extension of financial wellness is circulating our dollars, I recognize the importance of incorporating Black-owned businesses throughout every aspect of my life. From my skincare to my favorite sustainable wine, my bank, and even indulgent experiences like caviar, it matters.
As we celebrate culinary innovation and expand our palates, let’s also take the extra step to support Black-owned businesses while doing it. So the next time you’re tempted by the allure of caviar, order from Caviar Dream—it just might become your new favorite.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Peter Dazeley/ Getty Images