Small talk is a necessary evil. Our relationships with co-workers are often one dimensional and lack the depth to have any meaningful conversation. If you're like me, you probably find small talk to be boring, awkward, and, quite frankly, soul-sucking but it doesn't have to be that way.
If you spend at least 8 hours with someone Monday through Friday, why not surpass surface level chit chat? No doubt this will only strengthen your work relationships and perhaps enhance productivity - especially if your job is team-oriented.
Here are eight ways to make work chats less routine and more riveting.
Find Other Ways to Say "How are you?"
As the natural follow-up to "Hello," this question is so ingrained into our subconscious that we don't even think about it. The problem with "How are you?" is that it's generic and thus begets a generic, non-committal answer. Try asking questions that encourage further conversation.
How was your weekend? What do you have going on today? How's work treating you lately?
These are all good starts but definitely get creative!
Actually Say How You're Doing
In my very un-scientific research, the three most overused answers to "How are you?" are "good" and "tired".
Instead of saying "good" and keeping it moving, how about actually saying how you're feeling? I know, what a concept. Good is so neutral it almost lacks definition. Without being a Debbie Downer, just say what's really happening in your world.
"I'm so tired" is another popular response. Chile, who isn't?? Instead of just stating your lack of sleep, tell them what kept you up last night. Did you go to a great concert? Stayed up until the end of the Grammys? "Tired" is tired. Think of something more lively.
Avoid Talking About the Weather
I know we're all searching for commonalities, but there's gotta be something more interesting than the fact that we stand under the same sky. The only person I want weather updates from is Al Roker.
For whatever reason, the weather is a hot topic. The main problem with this is that, more often than not, it just invites negativity.
"This rain is so nasty!" "Can you believe how cold/hot it is outside?!"
If someone does bring up the weather, try to provide a sunnier response. Add something positive to where you can anticipate a follow-up answer. For example:
"Yeah, this rain is pretty gross but it's perfect Netflix weather! Can't wait to keep binging Black Mirror. Have you seen it?"
Flattery Follows
Everyone loves to be flattered, especially women. Out of habit, we tend to compliment each other's hair or clothes just as a conversation filler. This is fine, but let's dive deeper than outside appearances.
You're at work, so compliment your coworker on their work. Let them know they killed their last project. Tell them how much you enjoyed their latest presentation. While all women appreciate being viewed as beautiful, we need to work on letting other women know they're also smart and hardworking.
If her outfit is poppin', cool. But let her know her work skills are poppin', too.
Ask for Advice
Perhaps you're stuck on an assignment or maybe you want feedback on something you're not confident about yet. Why not ask your colleague for their advice? Whether it's helpful or not, your co-worker will appreciate that you value their input. Plus it gives you a chance to share what you've been working on, too!
What if this person is in a different department/position and you're not entirely sure what they do on a daily basis? This is a great time to ask! Without grilling them, informally inquire about their role, career trajectory, or what a typical day looks like for them. The fact that you care enough to know more about their contribution to the company says a lot and will instantly help build rapport.
No Diet Talk
Ladies, there are more compelling conversations than our never-ending quest to stay fit. Men don't talk ad nauseam about their eating habits, so why do we? I happen to sit near the kitchen in my office and the number of apologetic comments I've heard on calorie counting and avoiding the cookie jar is starting to drive me crazy.
If you must make food a topic, talk about that new restaurant you've been meaning to try. Ask for recommendations for your next date night with bae. Mention that amazing recipe you saw on Pinterest. But please don't bring up your Whole 30 diet for the umpteempth time. Please.
Pop Up With Pop Culture
Pop culture is a little superficial but it's something that we all more or less have fun discussing. It's also a safer alternative than politics and current events, a potentially dicey conversation depending on viewpoints. Even if you debate Kendrick vs. Kanye, it's harmless, fun, and less likely to ruffle any feathers.
Your pop culture interests also lets your personality shine. Just by learning your taste in music, movies, and literature, people will have a better idea of who you are as a person.
Make It Personal
Well, not TOO personal. There are boundaries after all. But the only way to graduate to a more authentic relationship is to share something a little personal about yourself. If it comes within the natural flow of conversation, divulge your past traveling adventures, mention your hidden talent, or tell that really bad date story everyone loves. But the more you share, the more likely they will share back.
If you follow these 8 steps consistently, it will no longer feel like small talk with an acquaintance but just catching up with a good work friend.
Featured image by Getty Images
- An Introvert's Guide To Small Talk: Eight Painless Tips ›
- 8 Ways to Make Meaningful Small Talk | Goop ›
- How to Make Small Talk at Work With Anyone - The Muse ›
- The 10 Big Rules of Small Talk - Real Simple ›
- 48 Questions That'll Make Small Talk Easier - The Muse ›
- 7 Ways to Make Small Talk Work for You | Psychology Today ›
- The Ultimate Guide to Small Talk: Conversation Starters, Powerful ... ›
- How to make small talk at work - Workopolis ›
- The Surprising Cognitive Benefits Of Small Talk At Work ›
Anndi Jinelle is a part-time creative and full-time corporate cog in the machine living in Brooklyn, NY. This 20-something spends most of her days going from coffee to wine, moving closer to her truth, and watching way more TV than is humanly possible. Catch her on Twitter @seranndipity.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert