We Asked 20 Single Women How They're Spending The Holidays, Here's What They Said
Let’s keep it real: being single during the holidays doesn’t mean you’re missing out—at all! xoNecole recently chatted with 20 single women about their holiday plans, and trust me, the energy was uplifting. Sure there were some emotions about being single, but these women are living life.
While social media fills our feeds with couples in matching pajamas, we’re here to reclaim the narrative. This season is all about celebrating ourselves and our friendships. Whether it’s throwing a cozy pajama party with your girls, indulging in some self-care while binge-watching holiday movies, or taking a solo trip, the magic of the holidays can shine just as bright when you’re rolling solo.
We’re redefining what festive looks like: it’s not just about relationships, but about love, joy, sisterhood, family, and the freedom to do you. So grab that hot cocoa and a sexy holiday dress, those suitcases if you’re traveling, turn up the music, and let’s make this holiday season all about us—because single doesn’t mean sad; it means the girls are living life.
*Responses are anonymous by request.
1.Unwrapping Joy
"I've been single for a few years, what has helped me the most is remembering that long before I ever fell in love, I enjoyed the holidays as a child. So my focus is on inner child connection and healing during the holiday season. I do what my inner child enjoys and make room for new memories too. That and buying myself something nice."
2.Detty December
"'I'm outside headed to Detty December this holiday season, but I also have a boo lol, so I'm not totally single, but I'm still living life."
3.Gifts For Me, From Me
"This Christmas I went all out with gifts for myself. I bought everything I wanted. I finally got a dog, my dream designer bag, luxury pajamas, expensive ornaments for my tree, I did it all and it felt so damn good to not need to ask anyone to get anything for me."
4.Just the Three of Us
"My mom and older brother are the ones I'm excited to spend time with the most. We're making new memories together and going to a holiday bar, and exchanging meaningful gifts."
5.Holiday Parties Galore
"I have a slew of holiday parties to attend, and I actually asked my boo to stay home and be with his family. I'll be going to the spa next week. I have several holiday parties and premieres on my docket, but mainly, I'm looking forward to tapping into myself. Journal, enjoying my hot tub, time with my thoughts."
6.A Cowboy Carter Christmas
"This year, I'm spending Christmas day with my family and Christmas night with my girls, watching Beyoncé perform at the halftime show on Netflix. We're gonna make a night of it with espresso martinis and get cute like we always do!"
7.Home for the Holidays
"Every year my family and I go back to Jamaica to stay with my aunt for Christmas and New Year's. Gifts aren't a big deal to me, so I book the flight and head home. Christmas is a time to reset, and I look forward to relaxing, eating great food, and enjoying some Black cake."
8.Holidays with Chosen Family
"Toxic family members make it difficult for me to want to go back home, so my roommates and I are celebrating together and enjoying the holiday season. We all cook together, and it feels like we're our own little family."
9.An Intimate Christmas Dinner
"I'm not traveling for Christmas like I planned, but I'm starting off the new year with a ski trip with my girlfriends, so I'm looking forward to that, and in the meantime, I'm headed to my parent's house for Christmas dinner."
10. While My Child's Away, Mama Will Play
"My son and I used to celebrate the holidays as a family with his dad, but now that we're co-parenting, we share holidays, and this year, he's with him for half the day. When he goes there for the evening, I'll probably roll up and enjoy the peace and quiet."
11. Girls' Night In
"This is my first Christmas without my ex. It's been challenging to have the holiday spirit; we were together for years, and I miss him so much. But I'm determined to be surrounded by love and my family. I'm having a girl's night with holiday movies and my favorite dinner, and I hope to have laughter no matter how I'm feeling currently.”
12.'Twas The Night Before Christmas
"My mom hosts a huge Christmas Eve party every year for my family. I still live at home, so I help her prepare the food, and she cooks everything from shrimp, crawfish, and pasta, and we all wear holiday pajamas and exchange gifts and holiday cookies."
13.Underneath the Mistletoe
"I actually just started dating someone. It's casual, but we're having fun. I plan on exchanging gifts and possibly having some fun with the holiday lingerie I just bought. Even if he isn't my forever, we're enjoying each other and I'm in the holiday spirit."
14. Christmastime in NYC
"I've been spending my time between New York and Los Angeles, so this year it's up in the air where I'll be. My best friend just got engaged, and she asked if I would want to spend the holidays with her, so I'm thinking about it and, in the meantime, enjoying Christmas in New York City."
15.Holiday Season = Birthday Season
"As a Sagitarrius, the holiday season is my birthday season - needless to say, I'm always having a good time! Double the gifts."
16.Holiday Hostess With the Mostest
"I'm hosting Christmas for my family for the first time this year. I just moved into a new home, and Christmas breakfast is our tradition, so I'm looking forward to cooking and exchanging gifts and giving back to them what they gave me every year while I was growing up."
17.Still Processing
"Christmas isn't really that big of a deal to me; since my mom passed, I stay home and watch a movie and think of those memories, but I'm happy that my friends and extended family check on me each year to see if I'm doing okay."
18.Catching Flights Over Gifts
"I'll be honest, at times Christmas as a single woman in my thirties isn't fun to just sit at home, so I always plan a trip to make sure that I'm happy on that day instead of buying a bunch of gifts that I don't need."
19.Showing Up & Showing Out
"2024 was all about health and wellness for me, and I dropped some pounds. I'm looking better than ever. So I'm going to every Christmas party I get invited to and giving a look."
20.A Naija Christmas
"My girls and I are headed to Nigeria. We're bringing in Christmas and the new year there together and I couldn't be happier."
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Since turning 30, three years ago, I have been on a journey of self-improvement and healing. During this time, I've adopted daily practices like meditation, journaling, and speaking affirmations over my life. I also began reading spiritual and self-help books like The Alchemist and The Mountain Is You.
These tools have changed my life drastically as I have become more self-confident and developed more self-love. Lately, one of my go-to's for a spiritual boost is listening to podcasts. There are so many podcasts to choose from nowadays, and they aren't created equally.
However, if you're looking for a podcast that speaks to your soul and helps you in your personal development, then check out the 10 podcasts below.
Balanced Black Girl
Balanced Black Girl is a podcast focusing on personal development, self-care, and more. Hosted by Les, adding this podcast to your list is a great start to developing better habits.
Take Back Your Mind
Take Back Your Mind is a podcast by Agape Church founder and pastor Michael B. Beckwith. This podcast touches on various topics like spirituality, purpose, mindfulness, and more.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
On Purpose with Jay Shetty features many guests, from Big Sean to former First Lady Michelle Obama, as they open up about their tips for success and biggest life lessons.
Keep It Positive, Sweetie
Sistas actress Crystal Renee Hayslett created the Keep It Positive, Sweetie podcast, which hones in on discussions like family, second chances, and the art of submission.
Diary of A CEO
Diary of A CEO is more than a business podcast. It highlights many conversations like how to sleep better, the benefits of fasting, and how to reduce toxins in your body.
Being Her
Margarita Nazarenko has built a loyal fanbase on social media from her straight, no-chaser advice on dating, and recently, she launched a podcast called Being Her. The podcast digs a little deeper into feminine energy, manifestation, and, of course, dating.
Healed Girl Era
Gia Peppers hosts the Healed Girl Era podcast, and the name says it all. If you're in your healed girl era or want to get in your healed girl era, then this podcast is for you as Gia and guests tackle topics like self-love and finding your joy.
Super Soul
Oprah's Super Soul podcast features interviews from a wide range of thought leaders in health and wellness, spirituality, and entertainment.
Everybody's Crazy
Everybody's Crazy is hosted by best friends April McDaniel and Savannah James as they open up about their friendship and navigating life. However, their girl talk doesn't shy away from tough conversations like grief and mom guilt and how to overcome it all.
Therapy For Black Girls
Therapy For Black Girls is a mental health podcast hosted by psychologist Dr. Joy Harden Bradford. The podcast covers everything, from dealing with depression to superwoman syndrome.
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