Let’s keep it real: being single during the holidays doesn’t mean you’re missing out—at all! xoNecole recently chatted with 20 single women about their holiday plans, and trust me, the energy was uplifting. Sure there were some emotions about being single, but these women are living life.
While social media fills our feeds with couples in matching pajamas, we’re here to reclaim the narrative. This season is all about celebrating ourselves and our friendships. Whether it’s throwing a cozy pajama party with your girls, indulging in some self-care while binge-watching holiday movies, or taking a solo trip, the magic of the holidays can shine just as bright when you’re rolling solo.
We’re redefining what festive looks like: it’s not just about relationships, but about love, joy, sisterhood, family, and the freedom to do you. So grab that hot cocoa and a sexy holiday dress, those suitcases if you’re traveling, turn up the music, and let’s make this holiday season all about us—because single doesn’t mean sad; it means the girls are living life.
*Responses are anonymous by request.
1.Unwrapping Joy
"I've been single for a few years, what has helped me the most is remembering that long before I ever fell in love, I enjoyed the holidays as a child. So my focus is on inner child connection and healing during the holiday season. I do what my inner child enjoys and make room for new memories too. That and buying myself something nice."
2.Detty December
"'I'm outside headed to Detty December this holiday season, but I also have a boo lol, so I'm not totally single, but I'm still living life."
3.Gifts For Me, From Me
"This Christmas I went all out with gifts for myself. I bought everything I wanted. I finally got a dog, my dream designer bag, luxury pajamas, expensive ornaments for my tree, I did it all and it felt so damn good to not need to ask anyone to get anything for me."
4.Just the Three of Us
"My mom and older brother are the ones I'm excited to spend time with the most. We're making new memories together and going to a holiday bar, and exchanging meaningful gifts."
5.Holiday Parties Galore
"I have a slew of holiday parties to attend, and I actually asked my boo to stay home and be with his family. I'll be going to the spa next week. I have several holiday parties and premieres on my docket, but mainly, I'm looking forward to tapping into myself. Journal, enjoying my hot tub, time with my thoughts."
6.A Cowboy Carter Christmas
"This year, I'm spending Christmas day with my family and Christmas night with my girls, watching Beyoncé perform at the halftime show on Netflix. We're gonna make a night of it with espresso martinis and get cute like we always do!"
7.Home for the Holidays
"Every year my family and I go back to Jamaica to stay with my aunt for Christmas and New Year's. Gifts aren't a big deal to me, so I book the flight and head home. Christmas is a time to reset, and I look forward to relaxing, eating great food, and enjoying some Black cake."
8.Holidays with Chosen Family
"Toxic family members make it difficult for me to want to go back home, so my roommates and I are celebrating together and enjoying the holiday season. We all cook together, and it feels like we're our own little family."
9.An Intimate Christmas Dinner
"I'm not traveling for Christmas like I planned, but I'm starting off the new year with a ski trip with my girlfriends, so I'm looking forward to that, and in the meantime, I'm headed to my parent's house for Christmas dinner."
10. While My Child's Away, Mama Will Play
"My son and I used to celebrate the holidays as a family with his dad, but now that we're co-parenting, we share holidays, and this year, he's with him for half the day. When he goes there for the evening, I'll probably roll up and enjoy the peace and quiet."
11. Girls' Night In
"This is my first Christmas without my ex. It's been challenging to have the holiday spirit; we were together for years, and I miss him so much. But I'm determined to be surrounded by love and my family. I'm having a girl's night with holiday movies and my favorite dinner, and I hope to have laughter no matter how I'm feeling currently.”
12.'Twas The Night Before Christmas
"My mom hosts a huge Christmas Eve party every year for my family. I still live at home, so I help her prepare the food, and she cooks everything from shrimp, crawfish, and pasta, and we all wear holiday pajamas and exchange gifts and holiday cookies."
13.Underneath the Mistletoe
"I actually just started dating someone. It's casual, but we're having fun. I plan on exchanging gifts and possibly having some fun with the holiday lingerie I just bought. Even if he isn't my forever, we're enjoying each other and I'm in the holiday spirit."
14. Christmastime in NYC
"I've been spending my time between New York and Los Angeles, so this year it's up in the air where I'll be. My best friend just got engaged, and she asked if I would want to spend the holidays with her, so I'm thinking about it and, in the meantime, enjoying Christmas in New York City."
15.Holiday Season = Birthday Season
"As a Sagitarrius, the holiday season is my birthday season - needless to say, I'm always having a good time! Double the gifts."
16.Holiday Hostess With the Mostest
"I'm hosting Christmas for my family for the first time this year. I just moved into a new home, and Christmas breakfast is our tradition, so I'm looking forward to cooking and exchanging gifts and giving back to them what they gave me every year while I was growing up."
17.Still Processing
"Christmas isn't really that big of a deal to me; since my mom passed, I stay home and watch a movie and think of those memories, but I'm happy that my friends and extended family check on me each year to see if I'm doing okay."
18.Catching Flights Over Gifts
"I'll be honest, at times Christmas as a single woman in my thirties isn't fun to just sit at home, so I always plan a trip to make sure that I'm happy on that day instead of buying a bunch of gifts that I don't need."
19.Showing Up & Showing Out
"2024 was all about health and wellness for me, and I dropped some pounds. I'm looking better than ever. So I'm going to every Christmas party I get invited to and giving a look."
20.A Naija Christmas
"My girls and I are headed to Nigeria. We're bringing in Christmas and the new year there together and I couldn't be happier."
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by alvaro gonzalez/Getty Images
RELATED
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
Where to Stay in St. Lucia
Photo by Windjammer Landing
There are lots of different types of accommodations for travelers to choose from, and many of the top hotels and resorts in St. Lucia are located near Marigot or Rodney Bay, which are about an hour and a half from the international airport.
I stayed at the Windjammer Landing Villa Beach Resort and there were a few things that stood out to me that made this an ideal resort for my trip. First, the resort has unique Mediterranean-style villas, and the gleaming white stucco walls, blue doors, and bright bougainvillea felt like being in a traditional Greek village. On morning walks, I would climb the hilly terrain and start the morning looking over the bay.
Solo-tripping at a resort is also great for making friends. I ate alone a few times, but I also met other travelers who I shared meals with throughout my stay. Though resort food can sometimes be hit or miss, the food at the Windjammer was top-notch (and diverse). The resort has five restaurants, and I ate seafood dishes like snapper and coconut shrimp at Upper Deck and tandoori chicken and samosas from the newly introduced ‘Masala at Embers.’
The resort is spread out over 65 acres, which meant that even though I visited during high season in February, the property never felt crowded. I spent a lot of time decompressing by sitting near the beach and journaling, but there were lots of activities at the resort to keep me occupied. I enjoyed a relaxing massage at the Serene Wellness & Spa and a morning yoga session, and along with the plunge pool in my villa, the resort had six pools and offered watersports like snorkeling and kayaking.
What to Eat in St. Lucia
Photo courtesy of Mariette Williams
St. Lucia’s local fare, like many other Caribbean islands, includes fried seafood like snapper and conch, peas and rice, and plantains. One way to get a taste of the local cuisine is to head to Gros Islet for the Friday Night Party. The 50-year tradition starts at sunset and locals bring their grills, set up tabletop bars, and eat and dance late into the night. St. Lucia also has some of the freshest fruit, and during my stay, I feasted on starfruit, golden apples, papaya drizzled in lime, and savory bananas.
Another St. Lucia “must-have” is Piton beer, a light, refreshing beer with a hint of floral taste - perfect after a day spent in the sun. And if you’re a rum drinker, St. Lucia has a litany of great rums - most notably Chairman’s Reserve, Bounty, and Admiral Rodney. I had a rum tasting at the resort, which was paired with St. Lucia’s delicious chocolate, and if you’re at a bar - make sure you order a rum punch - a signature drink in the Caribbean.
Things to Do in St. Lucia
Photo courtesy of Mariette Williams
Though it would have been easy to spend the entire stay at the resort, I spent some time exploring the neighboring areas. One of the highlights was booking a boat trip to see the Pitons. Though I had seen photos of the twin peaks, the majestic volcanoes are much more impressive in person, towering over 2,000 feet in the air. Our boat captain, Delbert, stopped the boat as we marveled at one of the Caribbean's most beautiful landmarks.
Another St. Lucian highlight is the sulfur springs in Soufriere where I slathered myself in thick grayish mud and soaked in the muddy, warm springs. After my al fresco sulphuric spa treatment, our driver took us to a nearby Sulfur Springs waterfall, and it was the first time I stood under a hot waterfall. On the way back to the resort, we stopped by some shallow waters to snorkel, and as the sun started its afternoon descent, I could see why people fell in love with St. Lucia.
Truthfully, nearly any country can make a good solo trip, but St. Lucia’s peaceful setting and access to attractions make it an ideal option for beginner solo travelers. It’s relatively convenient to get to as well - located just three hours from Miami, it’s ideal for a long weekend or week-long trip to recharge. Though I left so much to explore, St. Lucia is a place where you can fill your days with exciting activities or do nothing at all, and you’ll still have an unforgettable time.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy of Mariette Williams
Originally published on February 28, 2023