So it’s Valentine’s Day again and you’re still single. You weren’t in matching pajamas on Christmas. You didn’t have a kiss on New Year's. And at this age, it seems like you’re the last single person left. Half of the internet is telling you to self-love your way out of desiring companionship while the other half is saying maybe it’s something you need to work on within yourself as to why you can’t find a partner.
What if I told you that it’s safe to be vulnerable? How much of your feelings would you say out loud and admit if you knew you wouldn’t be judged? What if I told you that self-love doesn’t replace romantic love? What if I told you that being single isn’t necessarily a sign of a personal defect? What if I told you that being sad and lonely is completely honest and 100% okay to admit?
I’d love to get on here and force-feed you words of encouragement. I’m very good at shining a light in dark spaces. But there’s a such thing as toxic positivity and it would be toxic of me to silence your truth with words of inspiration when what you really need is the room to feel your feelings in their entirety.
The truth is, this holiday can be very lonely for those of us who aren’t married or in relationships that actually still want to be. This holiday can be a reminder of all the holidays in the past you spent with lovers that aren’t in your life anymore. This holiday can simply make you feel like maybe you should give up trying and be alone forever.
There. I said it all so you don’t have to. I’m lonely today. I’m a little sad today. I’m a little less hopeful today. And that’s okay. Because I know that my sadness is just as valid an emotion as my happiness and my vulnerability is just as admirable as my strength.
It’s Valentine’s Day and we’re alone.
We didn’t get flowers and phone calls from some special person and we’re probably going to binge-watch Sex And the City for the millionth time and in my best Tabitha Brown voice, “That’s okay 'cuz that’s our business.”
I find that the tears that run the longest are the ones we refuse to let flow. If it’s on your spirit to cry today, please cry. If it’s on your spirit to say eff this day, then eff this day! If it’s on your spirit to stay in bed with ice cream, then that’s cool too. Just don’t judge yourself for being a human being and having real emotions. Because people will act like they don’t also feel these things, but people be LYING.
Happy or not-so-happy Valentine’s Day. Let’s try this again next year.
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- 15 Simple Ways To Practice Self Love On Valentine's Day - xoNecole ›
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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From Dull To Dewy: These Spring Skincare Tweaks Make All The Difference
Spring cleaning isn’t just for your home, it can also apply to your skin.
When transitioning from the cold winter to the warm spring, your skin may require a different skincare routine such as lighter creams or overall less product. Brianna Kelly recently opened up B Beautiful Medical Spa in Atlanta, GA over the weekend and she shared with xoNecole about her skincare journey and how to treat your skin when the seasons change.
On her skincare journey.
"Yeah, so at the time, I would say mid-20s to late 20s, I was very self-conscious about my pore size, and I always used to feel like when I was talking to people, people were staring at my pores. So I was trying to find different skincare treatments. I also tried microneedling and some laser treatments as well, to try to address my pore size and the texture of my skin. I even went as far as traveling to different states to see different experts in the field for that.
"Over time, just maintenance with facials and premium skincare, I started to feel confident and better about how my skin was looking."
On the treatments her spa offers.
"We have all esthetic services, microneedling, microdermabrasion. We have chemical pills. We'll be doing some Botox and fillers, some lip injections, some IV hydration as well. And of course, we are going to be specializing in facials. From our seven-step classic facial to our 10-step everything beautiful facial."
On transitioning from winter to spring skincare.
"Moving into the spring from the winter time, I would definitely say, make sure you're using the right products. A lot of times we shouldn't be using the same products that we use in the winter, in the spring, or in the summer. You may want to get a different cleanser, or you may want to switch to a lighter moisturizer.
"You also want to make sure you have a good SPF to protect you from any sun damage now that we’re gonna be outside a little more during the spring and the summer, so I would definitely say focusing on making sure you're using the right products. Treat yourself to a facial. Get a good facial that exfoliates the skin, getting rid of all of those dead skin cells that you may have accumulated during the winter, and most importantly, make sure you're hydrating, drinking water, [and] maintaining a healthy, balanced diet."
"Moving into the spring from the winter time, make sure you're using the right products. A lot of times we shouldn't be using the same products that we use in the winter, in the spring, or in the summer. You may want to get a different cleanser, or you may want to switch to a lighter moisturizer."
On advice she would give others on their skincare journey.
"I would definitely advise them to see a professional. Definitely go to a spa and book a facial appointment with an expert aesthetician to get some feedback on the type of skin that they have, get recommendations for different products and treatments, and just [allow] a professional to address their concerns. What I noticed is that a lot of women are using the wrong products.
"They're going to the local CVS or local Walgreens, and getting products off the shelves and taking them home and using them. They're not really using the right product. So I would definitely say it's important to consult with an expert first to give you some sort of guidance on what to be using on your skin."
For more information, follow B Beautiful Medical Spa on Instagram @bbeautifulmedicalspa.
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