Oftentimes, when we're in a rut, unhappy at work, or just overall dissatisfied in our professional lives, there are triggers. And many of us have very catastrophic thoughts in response to those triggers, from, "Every day is terrible at work, but I can't do any better than this," to "I'm totally stuck and need the money to pay my bills."
You might be two seconds from hitting send on that resignation notice you've had in your email drafts for months, ready to risk it all and just give up.
When you're feeling utterly annoyed, frustrated, disinterested, or just bored at work, here's a refreshing thing to consider: Your feelings might not have anything to do with your overall career choice. It's the actual job, sis. Here are a few signs you might need to rethink the job versus changing your career as a whole:
1. Your relationship with your direct manager or supervisor is simply not a good fit.
If you've tried all you can to perform, show up to work on time, and excel, it might not be the industry you're in but the manager you're directly reporting to. And sometimes, just like in love, a work relationship just might not be a good fit. While many aspects of our jobs are personal to us, leadership compatibility can have nothing to do with you or your manager and more to do with the fact that their style or way of doing things is just not conducive to you thriving in that position.
If one-on-ones and mediation meetings with your manager aren't helpful, but you love the company and the industry you're in, the best thing you can do in this case is ask for a transfer to another branch or location of your current company.
2. You're bored with the duties required for your job.
I experienced this as a copy editor. My mentor had advised that pursuing such a position was a great way to get my foot in the door, especially at a major global publication, and he was right. However, after a few years, my ambitions grew, and the role itself just became monotonous and isolating. I still loved journalism, the company I worked for, and the people I worked with, but I just couldn't shake those Sunday Scaries that would overcome my thoughts week after week.
I decided to volunteer to edit digital content at a time when digital media wasn't financially lucrative for publishers. Print content was king. It was experimental for many major publishers because they had not yet learned how to disrupt and monetize content on the Internet. It was the best decision of my life because I was a team member at the company who could lead once digital media really took off.
You don't have to necessarily quit altogether because you no longer have a passion for your job duties. Talk with your manager or HR department and apply or request to be placed in a different department that will really challenge you as a professional. If you can, volunteer for projects that allow you to work in other aspects of a business or for corporate volunteer opportunities that will put you on teams with upper-level executives.
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3. You've been in the same title position for more than three years.
Sis, advocate for yourself and ask for that promotion, especially if you're a mid-level professional managing anything (i.e., content, processes, people, or budgets). If there are clear success metrics attached to your contributions to the company, it's time to move on up. And be sure to ask for the salary that goes along with it. Y'all know these companies try to play us with title promotions, but no money behind the added duties and responsibilities.
I made the mistake of making lateral moves within a company for five years, so it didn't seem urgent for the company to promote me. It was as if I was content (and they certainly were content paying me the same for more and more work.) It wasn't until I requested a promotion that they knew my contributions and time had outgrown the title, and my experience reflected that of an associate, and I was indeed promoted with a pay raise.
If a promotion at your current company is just not an option, apply for higher positions at another company. Be sure you have the career receipts, reputation, and experience to do so, but don't shy away from a more advanced title within your industry. Again, you don't want to be stagnant in your career journey, so it's time to step it up and challenge yourself with a higher title and pay.
4. You have a new interest in a different aspect of your industry.
Say you started in children's education but now feel a pull to take your teaching skills to empower adults. Well, go for it. That's not necessarily a total change in career but a shift in the people you serve. If you're in fashion, focused solely on women, why not venture out into men's, children's, or another niche? If you're in tech marketing but find yourself to be a savvy inventor, project manager, legal expert, or process visionary, shift to jobs that light a fire under those skills.
Just because you have one job today that you love doesn't mean you can't shift to a different job within your industry (or even at the same company) that you love and are just as good at.
Also, growth in your career oftentimes means you lose interest in things you used to be super-excited about, and that's totally okay. Shift gears to apply a different skill set within the industry and keep those relationships you had before. You might even walk into a lucrative side hustle or business of your own.
5. Your mental and physical health is at stake.
I knew a woman who worked in emergency care in a role that really became draining for both her mental and physical health. Instead of quitting the medical industry altogether, she went into advocacy and administration, where she could work from an office, handle the more strategic parts of the job, and interact with people who made decisions on processes and protocols.
Sometimes, back-breaking, tedious, or high-stress jobs just have an expiration date, so if you can no longer take it, apply for a different role that fits your current mental and physical wellness goals. Some of us are called to very stressful, physically taxing jobs, and we love it, while others are meant to transition into other roles, and there's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to tough it out or feel guilty for wanting a role that affords you more ease. Make the best decision for you while contributing to the greater good in your industry.
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- Am I Outgrowing My Job? Signs It May Be Time To Move On Before It’s Too Late ›
- Unhappy At Work? 6 Signs It’s the Job, Not You, Sis ›
- 6 Signs It's Time For A Major Life Change ›
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert