How I Knew It Was Time To See A Therapist
For decades, mental health, depression, and therapist have been words that are equivalent to cuss words among the black community.
Once 'depression' exits someone's lips, you'll hear two things, "Pray about it" and "Don't let the devil in your mind." Over the years, that word has transitioned into something powerful. Men and women are making it known that one's mental health is a priority. Celebrities and TV personalities are using their mental pain as a call-to-action. The veil is finally being lifted and thrown in the trash. Being vulnerable has somewhat become a requirement when communicating.
2016 was the worst year of my life, mentally and physically.
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At the time, my doctor diagnosed me with moderate depression, and it was wreaking havoc on my body. I would spend an hour in the bathroom stall at my job, crying every day before my shift. I was lost, sad, frustrated, and weak mentally and spiritually. I have already gone through two therapists that I only visited 2-3 times. I must say that I hated it. I didn't feel like a white person would understand my pain as a black woman, so I gave up on seeking help in that way. I relied on my prescriptions to do what they intended to do, which was to shut off my emotions, so I thought.
For three months, my mom would mention that I should see a therapist. I would get slightly annoyed because, at the time, I felt like I didn't need one. In October 2018, I decided to take a leap of faith and decided to see a therapist for the third time. Days before my first therapy session, I frequently asked the question, "Why do I need to see a therapist?"
Here are four signs that it may be time to see a therapist.
You don't feel like yourself.
We all have days where we feel a little "off", which could contribute to stress, not getting enough rest, and not eating the right foods. Imagine feeling "off" for four months straight and not knowing why you feel this way. Every day I felt like I was in a battle with myself and my thoughts. I still had to have the energy to get up, get dressed, and head into work, but it felt like one long Monday. As someone whose Google calendar reflects the schedule of a CEO, I prided myself on not forgetting and planning everything. However, during that time, I would forget important dates, names, my birthday, and why I went to the kitchen.
It felt like I was drifting through life. I lived every day in a subconscious state of mind.
What alerted me the most was I would drop things––not in a clumsy way, but I could be standing in pure silence, and I would drop whatever I had in my hands. I had a habit of dropping coffee mugs. When I saw my favorite coffee mug shattered in a million pieces on the floor, I knew that something had to change. When you can look at yourself in the mirror and not recognize who you are, it is a sign that you may need to speak with someone.
Nothing you've done seems to have helped.
You've gone to the doctor, took the required medication, talked to family and friends, or slept it off, and you still don't feel any relief. You've done everything in your power to feel better, and nothing seems to work. My biggest flaw was compartmentalizing my problems and suppressing my feelings so deep that I became numb. I knew I had to see a therapist when I could no longer ignore the hurt and the pain that I felt about myself and those around me. The harder I would try to forget, the louder and faster my problems revealed themselves.
You feel like no one understands you.
No matter how many times you've explained your issues, you feel that people on the receiving end aren't understanding your issues or that people are giving lackluster advice on what to do. I consider myself a good communicator. I take my time and express my words in a way, so I don't repeat myself. But back then, I felt like I was met with deaf ears or blank faces as if I were speaking a foreign language. Those were the moments I found the most frustrating.
I felt myself isolating myself even more. If my own family couldn't understand my pain, I didn't think a therapist would. Before I decided to go to therapy, I spent three months in isolation and no longer explaining my problems to people. That's when I knew I needed to seek help.
You are having a difficult time processing the loss of a friend or a loved one.
The year was 2012, and I was in school with approximately two months left before I graduated. Three days before my birthday, I experienced the loss of my uncle. That was one of the most challenging times in my life. After the funeral, I had to go to class the next day, and I couldn't function. My mind shut down, and I was going through the motions. I didn't remember the exams I took, what grades I got on them, or any new material. After two weeks, I wanted to quit school. I was no longer interested in my passion. Although I didn't go to a therapist at that time, I was encouraged to stay in school in my uncle's memory.
When experiencing any loss, it feels like you lost a part of yourself. What I've learned since then is that there isn't a right or wrong way to mourn. We all process loss differently than the next. There also isn't a timeline on when you'll get better. If it comes to a point where you can't function and slip into some depression, then it's suggested that you see a therapist.
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Writer, Empath, Listener, Self Improver, and a motivational speaker to her homegirls Teisha LeShea currently resides in California who loves to add fifteen million items to her Amazon cart. She is passionate about wellness, spiritual improvement, leveling up, and setting up twice a month therapy appointments. She writes with you in mind. Her listicle and personal stories will inspire you to dig deep within yourself to be a better you. You can follow her on Instagram @teisha.leshea and & @tl_teisha.leshea
Black women are not a monolith. We all are deserving of healing and wholeness despite what we've been through, how much money we have in the bank, or what we look like. Most importantly, we are enough—even when we are not working, earning, or serving.
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Nicki Minaj’s Appearance At The ‘Barbie’ Premiere Is A Moment For The Culture
Nicki Minaj is opening up about the significance of her involvement in the upcoming Barbie film, highlighting how the brand has impacted her career as she attended the Los Angeles premiere of the highly anticipated project.
From the beginning of Minaj's rap career, which dates back to 2007 following the release of her first mixtape Playtime Is Over, the star coined the nickname Barbie after the Mattel doll. Minaj's love for the toy and the brand's representation ran so deep that she continued to incorporate the Barbie persona in practically almost every project, including the cover of Playtime Is Over, where the “Queen” rapper appeared as a figurine trapped inside a box. Over time, the emcee nicknamed her fanbase The Barbz and created numerous titled tracks containing the word Barbie. The list includes "Barbie Tingz," "Barbie Drip," "Barbie Dreams," and the newly released "Barbie World" featuring Ice Spice as a part of the Barbie soundtrack.
During a July interview with Entertainment Tonight, Minaj explained why she considered being a part of the Barbie soundtrack a full circle moment and her initial thoughts about "Barbie World."
Nicki On Being A Part Of The Barbie Project
In the discussion, the 40-year-old revealed she was excited to lend her voice to the soundtrack because of her admiration for the Barbie brand.
"I'm so excited to be here and be a part of this entire moment. I'm glad that they thought of me because I'm excited just like everybody else is excited to see this movie", she said. "I know I've been saying Barbie my whole career. So it's a very full circle moment."
Further into the interview, Minaj shared that before making "Barbie World" --a sample of Aqua's 1997 hit "Barbie Girl"-- she was given several songs that she didn't vibe with. Still, after hearing the Aqua sample, Minaj came up with the idea to incorporate some drums to provide the track with a more urban feel.
"There were a couple of songs that I didn't love, and this Barbie sample, I loved it. I just wanted it to have a dope drum, and so the one that they sent me, I loved. I jumped on it right away," she stated.
Nicki Gives Thanks To “Barbie” Director And Mattel
Immediately following the premiere, Minaj took to Twitter to show her appreciation to Mattel, Barbie director Greta Gerwig, and the film's soundtrack producers Mark Ronson and Kevin Weaver for including her in this monumental occasion.
"Thx, Forbes & s/o all the incredibly talented artists/producers on the #BarbieMovie soundtrack. Mark Ronson, Kev Weaver, Greta Gerwig, Mattel," she said while mentioning how much it meant to her and the Barbz. "You guys could have chosen anyone to be a part of this project. Glad you knew how much it would mean to the Barbz & me. So Grateful."
The live-action Barbie follows the adventures of the figurine as she adjusts to real life after getting kicked out of Barbie land for her imperfections. The film stars Margot Robbie, Kingsley Ben-Adir, Ryan Gosling, Will Ferrell, Alexandra Shipp, America Ferrera, Issa Rae, and many others
Barbie is set to make its theatrical debut on July 21.
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Feature image by Rodin Eckenroth/WireImage