

We all know that our health is important. What I’m not sure all of us are on the same page about, though, is just how important it is to stay up on signs that our hormone levels may be a little off.
For instance, were you aware of the fact thatif your hair has gone through drastic changes in thickness or texture, you’re suddenly experiencing breakouts like you did during puberty,you’re feeling sluggish (with no real explanation why), out of nowhere, your muscles and/or joints are in pain or stiff; you’re always hungry and/or thirsty; you’ve been unsuccessful at conceiving a child after a year of consistently trying; your vision is blurry and/or you’re constantly feeling anxious and/or nervous — all of this could be due to some of your hormone levels being not where they are supposed to be?
If your immediate thought was, “Damn. That is a lot of stuff that I’ve just chalked up to stress,” while that could be an underlying cause, more than anything, it’s a heads up to make an appointment to see your doctor.
Okay, but what about your estrogen levels specifically? Even though bothmen and women have estrogen and testosterone flowing through their bodies, most of us learned in school that men produce higher levels of testosterone while we produce greater levels of estrogen. Andsince estrogen plays such a pivotal role in our sexual and reproductive health, it’s super important to be aware of some telling signs of when your estrogen levels may be too high or when they could be too low.
That’s why I’m going to take a moment to share some indications of both, along with some things that you can try from the comfort and convenience of your own home to either make things more bearable or possibly even level things back out — at least until you can get in to see your doctor (which you absolutely should do if none of these things subside after a couple of weeks or so). Let’s hit it.
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1. Signs of High Estrogen Levels: Sore Breasts
I don’t know about y’all, but something that I can set my watch to, about a week before my period begins, is my breasts feeling tight and sore. If you’ve always wondered why that is the case, it’s due to the fact that right before your cycle,your estrogen levels naturally increase, and that leads to some breast discomfort. What you need to watch out for here is if they remain uncomfortable for weeks on end. Based on your age, that could be a sign that you are in a later phase of perimenopause or that your estrogen levels are high, and your doctor needs to get to the root of why that is the case.
What can you do? Ibuprofen can help. So can reducing your caffeine and salt intake and going up a cup size on your bras (since your breasts are probably going to be slightly larger then).
1. Signs of Low Estrogen Levels: Dry Skin
Menopause, boy. If you don’t know a lot about it, it can be a RIDE. For instance, as your body is shifting from a season of being able to get pregnant to one of not (which also means not having a period, so everything has its perks!), your hormones are going to go up and down quite a bit. As far as your estrogen levels go, look out for super dry skin that seems to not be able to be quenched no matter what you do;this means that your estrogen is low.
What can you do? Try using a cleanser that is milder; consuming foods that contain fatty acids (likesalmon, walnuts, flaxseed oil,olive oil, and chia seeds); sealing your skin (which simply means applying something to it while it’s still wet or damp) with a carrier oil like sweet almond, avocado or grapeseed after bathing, andsleeping with a humidifier at night.
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2. Signs of High Estrogen Levels: Weight Gain
This one right here is a bit of a mixed bag. On one hand, while it’s not so black and white that high levels of estrogen will automatically lead to weight gain, what it can do is increase your appetite and shift how your body stores up fat (especially when it comes to your waist, hips, and thighs). That’s why it’s not uncommon for women who are in the later stages of perimenopause or menopause to say that they feel like their figure has changed — due to the estrogen shifts, it very well may have.
What can you do? The main thing to keep in mind with this one is diet plays a big role in not just managing weight but keeping estrogen levels balanced too. For instance,phytoestrogens are plant-based estrogen foods (like soy, carrots, apples, berries, nuts, and seeds). If your estrogen levels are high, you need to keep the consumption of those down to a minimum. So, what should you eat more of instead?According to many health experts, a high-fiber diet, less processed foods, and a Mediterranean-style diet are all a super wise move.
2. Signs of Low Estrogen Levels: Moodiness
Contrary to the popular assumption of some, no one is really moody for no reason. Although it may sound “typical” to say, the reality is that when we as women are kind of “all over the place” with our feelings,our hormones can play a direct role.As far as low estrogen levels go, it can make you especially moody because it can make it hard for you to get a good night’s rest — and listen, the only thing worse than being hangry (hungry and angry) is being sleep-deprived.
What can you do? I’m not saying that sleep will automatically get you in the right headspace. What I am saying, though, is if you are constantly getting less than six hours of sleep a night, you are definitely not helping matters. So, check out “These Sleep Hacks Will Make Getting A Good Night’s Rest So Much Easier,” apply some of the tips, and see if that helps matters at all (here’s hoping so!). You also might want todo your own research on red clover tea, and black cohosh and increasing your intake of vitamins B, D, and E. All are connected to naturally raising estrogen levels, too.
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3. Signs of High Estrogen Levels: Low Sex Drive
When it comes to sex,estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone all play a role in your libido. And yes, when estrogen is slightly higher (like when you’re ovulating), it’s normal to feel hornier. However, if your estrogen is so elevated that it overpowers your other sex hormones, that can have a reverse effect to where your libido ends up being on the lower side.
3. Signs of Low Estrogen Levels: Low Sex Drive
Interestingly enough,if your estrogen levels are low, that can also create a ho-hum attitude towards sex. If you add to that the fact that decreased estrogen can cause vaginal dryness (more on that in a bit) and uncomfortable intercourse, it would make sense that women with low estrogen would rather binge-watch a show than get some.
What can you do? For this one, since both high and low estrogen levels can basically produce the same result on your sex drive, you really need to make a doctor’s appointment to confirm what the deal is. What I will say is there are things that you can do to increase your sex drive altogether — exercise (toreduce stress and increase blood flow) including to your genital region); lower your alcohol intake;get more rest; maintain a healthy weight; communicate effectively with your partner and extend your foreplay sessions (to give you more time to get into the mood).
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4. Signs of High Estrogen Levels: Heavy Period Flow
One thing that estrogen does is help to build up the uterine lining that supports a baby’s development should you happen to conceive. From month to month, if that doesn’t happen, you shed that lining which is what your period is (basically) all about. Okay,but if your estrogen levels are high, that can cause you to have a thicker lining than you should and that can lead to amuch higher period flow; quite possibly evena condition known as menorrhagia.
What can you do? When it comes to menorrhagia, you need to be tested by your doctor for an official diagnosis. For the record, though, if are at the age when perimenopause or menopause is on the horizon, that could also lead to heavy cycles.
Eating foods that are high in iron (since you are losing more blood which means more iron) like red meat, turkey, lentils, wheat, and potatoes,and progesterone (like cruciferous veggies, beans, kale, and spinach); drinking hormone-leveling teas such as raspberry leaf and licorice, andtaking over the counter anti-inflammatory meds during your cycle can help to lessen your flow — at least, a little bit.
4. Signs of Low Estrogen Levels: Irregular Cycles
I guess it kind of makes sense that if high estrogen causes heavy bleeding that low estrogen would either result in irregular/unpredictable cycles or no period at all. That would also explain why it can be hard for perimenopausal women to schedule their period (like they used to) because one month, their estrogen may be high while the next one, may be low (chile).
What can you do? With this one, there could beso many health issue causes (especially if you’re not in your 40s and heading towards menopause) that if you’re not sexually active (because an irregular or skipped period could mean that you are pregnant) and you’re younger, you really should see your physician.
For now, what I will say is if you’ve been under a high amount of stress as of late or your weight has substantially increased or decreased, that might be what has triggered your period to be erratic or MIA.
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5. Signs of High Estrogen Levels: Fatigue
Whilestumbling upon an article that said that high estrogen can cause leg fatigue in young women (interesting), it reminded me to add fatigue,overall, to the list of what increased estrogen can show itself to do in your body. This happens because, since estrogen helps to regulate thingslike serotonin (a natural chemical that sends certain messages to your brain regarding things like your appetite, moods, and sleep patterns) in your system when estrogen is too high, that can cause your serotonin to somewhat malfunction.That can cause mild symptoms like insomnia and fatigue to creep up.
What can you do? If sleeplessness is what you have going on, putting yourself on asleep schedule,keeping your bedroom on the cooler side (like around 68 degrees or so),meditating before bedtime and applying some lavender oil to your feet and bedding are helpful.As far as fatigue goes, exercise, drinking lots of water, andeating foods like avocados, sweet potatoes, dark chocolate, oatmeal, and even popcorn that will give you more energy, while putting you in a better mood, are all pretty effective.
5. Signs of Low Estrogen Levels: Vaginal Dryness
A common sign of being postmenopausal is experiencing vaginal dryness. That’s because, when your body is not producing as much estrogen as it used to, it’s more challenging for your vaginal walls to remain as thick oryour vagina to be as moist (for the record, this is not for ALL women). That said, it should also go on record that anxiety, stress, and smoking can lower your estrogen levels and cause dryness that doesn’t just affect sex. Vaginal dryness can also cause vaginal irritation and a burning sensation when you urinate.
What can you do? As life would have it, I’ve actually written an article on this topic before. Check out “Here's How To Increase Vaginal Lubrication. Naturally.” whenever you get a chance.
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Hormones make up a lot of what makes our body tick, especially estrogen. So please make sure to be intentional and proactive about learning all that you can about your hormones and asking your doctor to get them checked should any concerns arise. Better to bring it up and it be all good than remain quiet and go through some or all of what we just talked about. Take care of yourselves, y’all.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Does hearing the phrase, “you’re such a good girl,” during sex turn you on? If so, you might have a “praise kink.” When I hear the term praise kink, the church girl in me wants to immediately play “The Lady, Her Lover and Lord” while riding reverse cowgirl. But that’s not what is meant by the term praise kink.
A “praise kink” is a sexual fetish that focuses on overt praise, exaggerated compliments, and an outpouring of verbal affection.
What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
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Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022