Although, thankfully, I've always had pretty good health, something that I constantly have to stay on top of is my fungal sensitivity. It's the reason why I am more vulnerable to getting yeast infections. It's why I once got tinea versicolor on one of my feet. It's even how I end up with mild cases of eczema behind the back of both of my ears when either my immune system is worn out or I've been eating more sugar than I should. And you know what all of these things actually have in common at the end of the day? Candida.
While there is a lot that I could say when it comes to explaining all of what candida is, the most basic explanation I can probably offer is it's a kind of yeast that's considered to be a fungus. All of us have it. It lives both outside and inside of the body. And, when it's not off the chain, it's perfectly harmless. However, when one's immune system is low or compromised (or we've got too much sugar in our system), this fungus/bacteria can grow out of control and cause all kinds of health issues.
That's what we're gonna talk about today. Eight telling signs that candida could very well be overtaking your body and what you should do if that is indeed the case.
1. Yeast Infection
When it comes to the signs that you've got some sort of a candida overgrowth, a yeast infection is probably what tops the list. In fact, it's been reported that a whopping 3 out of 4 women will get at least one infection over the course of their lifetime. If you've never had one, first of all, lucky you. Yeast infections can be pure madness! Anyway, it's when a fungal infection takes over your genitals (and sometimes other places on your body; I've had one underneath my breasts before because yeast likes to grow in warm and damp areas) which leads to irritation, itching, burning and/or really thick discharge. Some yeast infections are mild in the sense that an over-the-counter medication can treat it. Other times, it's more complex (like if you're pregnant, you've got diabetes or you get more than four a year) and requires a prescription like Diflucan (also known as Fluconazole) to treat it.
Although yeast infections are relatively harmless, the itching can be so unbearable that you won't want to ignore it. So, if you do think that you've got one and you've never had a yeast infection before, make an appointment to see your doctor or even go to a local clinic to get it confirmed. The reason why this is an important step is because, if you self-diagnose and it's not a yeast infection, sometimes stuff like Monistat can make what you've really got a lot worse. On the other hand, if you have had a yeast infection before, you can usually treat it with an over-the-counter medication.
Just make sure that you also amp up on probiotics (so that "good bacteria" can take over the bad that has led to the infection). You might also want to eat more fresh garlic (it's a powerful antifungal food), soak in the tub with a cup of apple cider vinegar in it (it contains properties that kill yeast) and apply some organic coconut oil to the infected area; it actually fights C. albicans which is the specific kind of yeast that tends to be present in yeast infections. Oh, and since tea tree oil is a potent antifungal and anti-inflammatory essential oil, it can't hurt to add a drop or two of it to your coconut oil as well. If all goes well, you should start to feel noticeable results within 48 hours or so.
2. Sugar Cravings
Last fall, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "Ever Wonder If You've Got A Low-Key Sugar Addiction?". I've actually read many articles that say the top addiction in this country is indeed the white sweet stuff. Anyway, one of the reasons why it's a sign that you could have some candida overgrowth going on is because something that candida thrives off of is sugar (and starch). The more that you eat, the greater the yeast becomes. It's actually kind of a vicious cycle. So, if you're out here constantly drinking soda, eating bread, and having a couple of servings of dessert, not only are you putting yourself on the path to becoming diabetic, you very well could have too much candida in your body.
One way to test this out is to go without sugary foods for a couple of weeks. Drink water. Consume more protein (it can help to curb cravings). When you do desire something sweet, go for a fresh piece of fruit. Take a multivitamin (it can balance out some nutrient deficiencies that you might have). De-stress (we oftentimes run to sugar as a way to cope with our triggers). Get some rest.
Sugar detoxing isn't easy yet once your system recalibrates a bit, you may notice that it's easy to go without some of the foods that you once longed for. You'll also start to feel better because candida isn't overtaking your body.
3. Moodiness
Here's the deal about this one. 80 percent of your immune system is in your gut and when there is an overgrowth of candida in that part of your body, it can slow down the production of serotonin in your system. When that happens, oftentimes the result is irritability, mood swings and even low-grade depression. So, if you've been in a foul mood, you can't fully pinpoint why and yet there are some French fries, ice cream or a glass of wine in your hand, even as you're reading this, you might want to do the same things I mentioned when it comes to sugar cravings. Because, while you could be moody due to some sort of circumstance, it might be that candida is wreaking havoc…without you even knowing it.
4. Joint Discomfort
OK, so say that you've had a yeast infection for a while that you've ignored because the itching has been tolerable. While it is true that yeast infections, for the most part, are harmless, one thing that you do need to keep in mind is sometimes, when they are left untreated, the infection can hit your bloodstream. When this happens, it can actually result in hospitalization. Or, you could end up feeling some level of joint discomfort. As a matter of fact, there is actually something that exists called candida arthritis that can result in pain and stiffness in your joints; it can even lead to bone infections.
While this is actually more common than people might think, once yeast has hit your bloodstream, it can be really difficult to get rid of. So, if your joints have been bothering you lately and you can't attribute it to anything specific, please see your doctor. Out of all of the things on this list, joint discomfort that's related to candida overgrowth isn't something that should be self-diagnosed or DIY treated. Not even a lil' bit.
5. Sinus Infections
Allergy season is definitely upon us. Well, when it comes to sinus infections, did you know that while many of them are due to some form of bacteria, there are some that are actually fungal infections that are triggered by the overgrowth of candida? And here's the real clincher—if you do have a candida-related sinus infection, the antibiotics that are given to treat a bacterial one won't even work; it could even make the infection worse.
So, what's a sign that you have a sinus infection that could be brought on by candida? If it happens to last for four weeks or more. Whew. I'm not sure how anyone is able to endure that but if that's you, you need to see your doctor. You might want to consider a homeopath as well so that you can get on a regimen that holistically cleanses you of candida, so that you're not constantly treating the symptoms without getting to a core cure.
6. Oral Thrush
Oral thrush is kind of like having a yeast infection in your mouth (because again, you can get a yeast infection in other parts of your body; for the record, men can get yeast infections too). The main symptom of oral thrush is your tongue will typically have a white coat and/or white bumps on the tongue, inner cheeks, tonsils and/or throat. While this kind of infection is most common in babies and seniors, it can still happen to anyone, so make sure to periodically check your mouth to see if anything looks (or feels) abnormal. (By the way, a healthy tongue is pale pink and has no sores or discomfort.)
If it looks like you could have a bout of oral thrush, it's important that you see your doctor, just to be sure. If they agree, they will usually prescribe some sort of antifungal medication. If you're someone who would prefer to see if you can treat oral thrush at home, first, get some fresh toothbrushes to brush your teeth (and throw them away once the infection is gone). Do sea saltwater rinses twice a day (yeast doesn't fare well with salt). Eat some sugar-free probiotic yogurt; the coolness of the yogurt will soothe your mouth and the good bacteria will help to health the infection. If there are no cuts or sores in your mouth, drink some fresh lemon juice. Lemons contain antiseptic and antifungal properties that kill this kind of fungus. Also, create an oral mix out of clove oil. Clove oil is one of the most potent antiseptics around when it comes to treating oral thrush and anything that ultimately leads to oral decay.
7. Skin/Nail Fungus
Remember how I said that I got a yeast infection underneath my breasts before? I am currently sitting at a 36H. Yep, these girls ain't playin'. And while I do lift them up to clean up under there, I don't always lift them all the way up to look around. Well, a couple of years back, the skin started to feel so raw underneath my left one that I did and chile—there was a purple damp semi-circle and it was indeed a yeast infection. Between the sweating from the summer weather and my breasts being held hostage in my big ass bras, candida had indeed taken over. That's why it's important to keep in mind that you can get a fungal infection in any spot that might be warm or moist (even your armpits, if you're not careful). The main reason this is able to happen so easily is because again, candida lives both outside and inside of the body. This is why it's so important to keep your skin clean and dry, so that you can avoid things like ringworm, athlete's foot or nail fungal infections.
There are drug store remedies for skin and nail fungal infections. You might want to also apply the coconut and tea tree oil combo that I mentioned earlier to where your skin is irritated. Or, if it's your nails that are giving you grief, some folks would do commercials for the effectiveness of soaking nails in Listerine (thanks to the high amount of menthol, thymol and eucalyptus that's in it). If an at-home treatment doesn't clear up in about a week, see your doctor. Sometimes, by the time the infection has set in, it needs medication that you can't get without a prescription.
8. Fatigue
One way that I know when candida is trying to overtake my system is when I feel constantly drained, no matter what I do. While some medical professionals do not believe that the two things are directly linked, what most can agree on is when there is too much of this fungus in the body, it can weaken one's immunity (which would make you tired) and it can result in some nutritional deficiencies such as B vitamins and magnesium (which can also make you tired).
As we close this article out, I'm pretty sure you can guess what you need to do to deal with candida overgrowth that is causing you to feel like you're gonna pass out all day long. Build up your immune system (check out "Ready To Try 10 Quick & Easy Immune-Boosting Hacks?"). Consider taking a B-complex and magnesium supplement (or eat B foods like poultry, eggs and dark leafy greens along with foods high in magnesium such as dark chocolate, avocados and nuts). Stay away from foods that feed candida such as sugar, fermented foods, dairy, alcohol and caffeine. Eat foods that actually starve candida such as coconut oil, ginger and salmon. And put your body on a sleep schedule so that you can see if the "candida diet" is actually working.
I wouldn't be surprised in the least if you read all of this and was like, "Damn. I just might have a candida infection." That's the bad news. The good news is now you know the steps to take to do something about it. Please make sure that you do.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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1 In 4 Men And Women Are Faking It—Science Explains How To Change That
It’s no secret that I can’t stand fake orgasms. There are a billion reasons why — some of which I will get into in just a moment. For now, what I will say is, even if you can rationalize that faking orgasms will “get you out of” the sex that you may be having at the moment, when it comes to long-term satisfaction and benefits, how is faking it really going to get you anywhere? At least anywhere good — which is what you totally and absolutely deserve.
And that is why, while I was recently out in cyberspace seeing what the topic of sex had to offer (of merit), a particular study especially caught my attention. The reason why is because, while the topic of faking orgasms has been explored, pretty much ad nauseam at this point, what I haven’t personally seen a lot and enough of is how to stop them from happening so much and when people do them, what personally caused them to in the first place.
Today, we’re going to strive to get down to the root of some of those queries. And so, if you’ve always been curious about how to make the cycle of faking orgasms stop, this piece just might shed a little light. Here’s hoping anyway, chile.
Faking Orgasms. Why I Loathe It So.
GiphyDo you ever stop to think about certain songs from back in the day and wonder if they were released now, would people try to cancel them (hmph, as if this culture ever really cancels anybody for really anything, right?)? An example of what I mean is Alexander O’Neal’s song, “Fake”. If you’re too young to know it, or it’s been a while since you’ve heard it, feel free to go back and listen to the lyrics in order to grasp where I am coming from.
And why am I bringing it up in the context of today’s conversation? Well, whenever I think about folks faking orgasms, that song almost instantly plays in the background of my mind because, while he’s basically talking about the word from the definition of “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc.,” when I think of “faking it” in a sexual way, definitions like “to deceive,” “to pretend” and “anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is” are what I ponder — because y’all, I don’t care how many people do it, how can any of those definitions truly be good, right or helpful when it comes to copulation? Deceiving your partner into thinking that you climaxed when you actually didn’t? Pretending to be satisfied when you actually aren’t? Making sex appear like it’s one kind of experience for you when it actually…isn’t? SMDH. Yeah, that is something that I can never personally get behind, which is why I once penned, “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” for the platform. To me, since sex is about establishing a profound mental, emotional, and physical connection, how can that truly and authentically happen if one or both involved individuals are not being honest with each other about what they want, need and desire in order to make that happen?
Yeah, when it comes to the ever so popular fake orgasms, I’ll pass and will forever encourage others to do the same.
Faking Orgasms. Why So Many People Do It.
GiphyHere’s what’s wild, though — even if what I just said made complete and total sense to you, there’s still a really good chance that you’ve faked at least one orgasm before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”). Know what else? There’s also a good chance that your partner has done the same (check out “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”. And why is it that so many continue to do it, even if, in the back of their mind, they believe that it’s at least somewhat counterproductive?
Well, from the personal conversations (and coaching sessions) that I’ve had with both men and women, the top reason for why so many men fake orgasms is because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by telling them that the sex isn’t as good as they might think that it is, and when it comes to women, they fake in order to hurry up and get the experience over with — which, when you really think about it, for both genders, the motives are pretty much two sides of the same coin: people not being satisfied and trying to avoid sharing that reality with their partner.
OK, butwhat does science say is the main cause for men and women faking it? Well, a top reason for whya lot of men decide to go that route is because they simply want to get the experience over with (although being unable to orgasm due to drunkenness, medication, and/or boredom ranked pretty highly, too). And women? Difficulty achieving an orgasm is the biggest one (check out “How Can You Know For Sure That You've Had An Orgasm?” and “Ladies, Please Stop Pressuring Yourself Over Vaginal Orgasms”). Hmph, when I stop to take this all in, I find both reasons to be unfortunate. On the male tip, is it just me, or does it seem like there is a real disconnect of intimacy if that is why men fake it? What I mean by that is, if you’d rather “hurry up and get done” — are you having sex with your partner or at your partner (some of y’all will catch that later)? And, as far as the ladies go, if you are so uncomfortable and/or self-conscious and/or embarrassed about not being able to climax to the point that you will lie and say that you did — do you trust your partner enough to tell him the truth and then are you willing to work through the process of achieving an orgasm…together?
These types of questions are what piqued my curiosity when I happened upon a study of over 11,000 participants that transpired over in the UK. The focal point of it? Since faking orgasms is so prevalent, what actually causes people to stop? Because listen, none of us are actually going to get anywhere if we only focus on the problem and don’t seek to find some sort of solution (lawd).
Faking Orgasms. What Actually Makes People Stop.
GiphyOK, so from what I’ve read and researched, The Journal of Sex Research hassemi-recently published the study that I was just referring to. Before we get into what caused people to stop lying — umm, faking orgasms, check out these findings first:
·51 percent of participants claimed to have never faked an orgasm before
·Close to 66 percent of men and 34 percent of women say that they have faked an orgasm
·Almost 19 percent of men and 35 percent of women say that although they have faked one in the past, they have since stopped
·Almost nine percent of men and 20 percent of women are currently “faking it”
Yeah, I already know. The discrepancies between the men and women are quite noticeable. Let’s keep going, though, because the reason for why men and women decided to stop is the main reason why we’re all here — plus, it’s pretty interesting.
So, when it comes to the demographic of individuals who no longer fake it, what brought them to that point and place? Fascinatingly enough, around 26 percent of both men and women said that the communication between them and their partner improved while 24 percent of both men and women said that it was because their partner became more attentive. Well looka there — when couples connected on a mental and emotional level, the physical aspect of sex got better. Some other points did come into play, though:
·Around 29 percent of women and 25 percent of men decided to be content without having an orgasm
·Around 19 percent of men and 18 percent of women decided to get orgasms on their own (i.e., masturbate)
·Around 19 percent of men and (wow) two percent of women were caught faking it
·Around 15 percent of men and 10 percent are currently not having sex
OK, so when you read all of that, what tripped you out the most? As someone who works with married couples and is a huge advocate of them gettingthe most pleasure possible out of their sexual experiences, honestly, the first three (because, if you are married, please don’t settle fora sexless dynamic). I’ll break down why for each one.
First, if you used to fake orgasms and no longer do because you have settled for — pardon the pun — anti-climatic copulation…settling is exactly what you are doing. Listen, even if you’re not able to achieve a vaginal orgasm (and many women are not), it’s important to remember that there are oh so many other kinds to choose from (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”). And what if you’ve tried those and still there are nofireworks? Make an appointment to see your doctor (to get your hormone levels checked) and/or a sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). Remember, the reason whyyou have a clitoris is so that you can experience the heights of sexual pleasure. If that’s not happening for you, it’s important to do all that you can to get to the root of why.
Secondly, not faking it because you have taken matters into your own hands — literally. So, here’s my issue with that. Unfortunately, our culture is so lust-crazed that we tend to forget (or is it ignore?) that sex shouldn’t ONLY be about cumming; sex should also be about connecting. And so, while masturbation may help you out in the climaxing department, it’s essential to not get so used to it that you fail to bond with your partner or that you put up walls of resentment because there are things that are happening when you’re alone that aren’t happening when the two of you are together. In other words, don’t let jacking off or solo sex toy experiences get in the way of heartfelt and honest conversations with your partner about your sexual needs (check out “How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom” and “Sooo...What's Your Favorite TYPE Of Sex?”).
Finally, getting caught lying — again, I mean, faking it. Yeah, I know that I’m not the only one who noticed that there is a pretty big difference between how many women caught their man acting like he had an orgasm when he didn’t vs. how many men noticed that their lady acting like she had an orgasm when she didn’t. To that, let me first say that if you thought, “If a man ejaculated, he came. Duh” — look updry orgasms sometime. Believe it or not, it is possible for men to orgasm without cumming. And to the fellas (who may be reading this): I continue to be amazed by how you can’t tell if a woman is faking it because even if she is yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, if her vagina isn’t contracting, guess what? Yeah, between that and extra lubrication coming from her vaginal area —those are pretty common signs that an orgasm has transpired; this basically means that if you don’t notice these things going down, how attentive of a sex partner are you? #justsaying3 Tips to Avoid Faking Orgasms
GiphyNow that you know what science says about why people fake orgasms, did any of the intel surprise you? More importantly, if you can personally relate to what was said, did any of the information inspire you to make some changes in your own sex life? Yeah, if faking orgasms is indeed a thing in your own world right now, as I close this out, here's three quick tips:
1. Remember the definitions of fake. Never forget them. Deception. Pretending. Making something look like something that it is not. No time to get into all of this today, yet I have worked with many people who fake orgasms and…fake other things in their relationship. You don’t want to deceive your partner or yourself. It’s not going to help the relationship. Ultimately, it’s only going to cause hurt and/or harm. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in the way that you would like to hear someone convey theirs to you (respectfully, thoughtfully, etc.); do make sure to share them, though.
2. Stop “performing”. Start being REAL. Know who fakes a lot of orgasms? Porn actors (I prefer to call them that over “porn stars”). That’s because sex work is…work; it’s a billion-dollar industry that people get paid to act like sex is always the bomb. You’re not a porn actor, so why put that kind of pressure on yourself? No matter what the reasons are for why an orgasm isn’t coming for you, if you are having sex with someone who can’t handle the realness of the reasons or “worse”, doesn’t care — don’t put that on the sex or yourself. Sis, you are simply sleeping with the wrong person/people.
3. If you build it, one way or another, it will come…and you will cum.Do orgasms come easier for some than others? 1000 and 10 percent. That is absolutely not the point, though. If experiencing this type of pleasure is what you long for, with the help of your intentions, your partner’s willingness, and if need be, professional assistance, you can get there. Not by faking it — by being honest about the fact that you need more time, patience, and empathy.
____
Clearly, faking orgasms is a common thing; that doesn’t mean that it has to be the case for you, though. As you unpack what has made you start, process how to make it all stop.
Hmph. Better to take a while in order to experience what true bliss feels like than to keep faking it and never really know.
Words to live — and lie down — by. #wink
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