Although I’m certainly not the biggest drinker on the planet, I have absolutely no problem enjoying a cocktail with dinner. I must admit though that, over the past couple of years or so, what I’ve actually preferred are mocktails — mostly because I like to see what different restaurants are able to come up with…and very rarely am I disappointed.
Plus, it doesn’t hurt that (based on the ingredients, of course) mocktails are oftentimes healthier, are less expensive and, if hangovers are something that you end up dealing with when it comes to consuming alcohol, that is nothing that you have to worry about when the drink is alcohol-free.
So, in honor of why mocktails are so wonderful, let’s kick off the fall season with some mocktails (including easy-to-follow recipes) that feature ingredients that are currently in season. And, as a bonus, how about I make sure that they are the kind of drinks that can really get your libido going — I mean, since this is the best time of year to get it in as much as possible?
And hey, if you don’t believe me, check out “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?” so that you can really get inspired to buy some new cocktail glasses for you and your boo.
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1. Fall Fig Fizz Mocktail
Did you know that a fig comes from a family that consists of inverted flowers that all grow in a pod? What this basically all boils down to is, that whenever you eat one, you are basically enjoying multiple fruits all at the same time. I think it’s also important to mention that figs, dates, and prunes are not the same thing; each has its own distinct qualities. That said, figs are good for you because they contain fiber to keep you regular, properties to lower your blood sugar levels, and even antioxidants that will help keep your skin healthy.
The reason why figs have a reputation for being a libido booster is because, when they are cut in half, some believe that they look a lot like a woman’s sex organs. If you add to that the fact that they are a good source of magnesium which can boost your sex drive and help to prevent erectile dysfunction, I thought that it would be fitting to start this off with a mocktail that has fall in the name.
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2. Kiwi and Grape Mocktail
Kiwis and grapes are both considered to be fall fruits. As far as their health benefits go, let’s start with kiwi. Kiwi is good for you because it’s also a good source of fiber, as well as protein, vitamin C (it has a ton of that), vitamin K, and copper. On the health benefits tip, it’s good for your gut and heart, and, the vitamin C that’s in kiwi can help to keep your immunity strong.
Grapes, on the other hand, are also beneficial thanks to the fiber, protein, vitamin K, and copper that they contain. Aside from that, though, grapes can help to lower your blood pressure and cholesterol levels, they can fight off oxidative stress (thanks to all of the antioxidants that they have) and they can help to boost your brain health and memory as well as slow down the signs of aging while increasing longevity too.
And why would this mocktail help to get you in the mood? Well, for starters, kiwi is also a good source of vitamin E and that is a nutrient that helps widen your blood vessels so that you have better blood circulation which can lead to more intense orgasms. Some health experts say that kiwi can reduce the chances of premature ejaculation in your partner as well.
Grapes make the aphrodisiac list because they are rich in flavonoids which also help to increase blood circulation everywhere in the body — including your genital region.
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3. Sparkling Vanilla Pear Mocktail
This particular mocktail features three ingredients that are good for your sex drive: pear, vanilla, and cinnamon. Pears will do your body good because they are fiber-rich and they’re a pretty good source of protein, copper, and antioxidants. Since pears also contain plant compounds, they are good for your eyes and skin; plus, pears can help to reduce bodily inflammation and even lower your risk of diabetes.
Vanilla is good for you because it’s also an anti-inflammatory food that is rich in antioxidants, and cinnamon is bomb because it helps to boost your metabolism, lower your blood sugar levels, improve insulin insensitivity, and fight off bacteria and fungus-related infections.
So, what do all of these things do for you sexually? Pears contain anthocyanins, flavones, and flavanones that can help to treat erectile dysfunction the all-natural way, lab testing reveals that vanilla may help to increase sexual desire (not to mention that the scent is pretty sensual as well) and some studies say that cinnamon has the ability to bring balance to sex hormones, so that your libido, your periods and your fertility are more balanced.
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4. Spicy Guava Mocktail
Antioxidants, fiber, and vitamin C are some of the main nutrients that guava provides. They all work together to strengthen your immune system, slow down the signs of aging in your skin, and even make your menstrual cycles more bearable (as far as cramping goes). Meanwhile, the chili powder that’s featured in this particular recipe can help you to lose weight, reduce your risk of heart disease, and even help decrease any (mild) pain and discomfort that you might feel in your body.
When it comes to physical intimacy, guava is seen as an aphrodisiac because the potassium that’s in it can help men maintain longer erections. Also, since it supports your muscles contracting in the proper way (which is exactly what happens to your vagina muscles during an orgasm) — I mean, must I say more? Chili powder? It helps to improve blood flow so that you can “see the mountaintop” more often (if you know what I mean).
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
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5. Vegan Pumpkin Pie Mocktail
There is no contest when it comes to the fact that the signature fruit for the fall season is pumpkin, so a pumpkin mocktail recipe absolutely had to make the list. As far as aphrodisiacs go, this one contains pumpkin, coconut milk, vanilla, and apple (butter). When it comes to the health benefits of pumpkin, it’s also full of fiber, protein, vitamin C, potassium, and antioxidants. It’s also totally off the charts when it comes to how much vitamin A it contains (a whopping 245 percent of the Reference Daily Intake).
And so, whenever you consume pumpkin, you can be confident in the fact that it’s helping to fight off free radicals, boost your immune system, protect your vision, keep you regular and it’s even going to give your skin the collagen support that it needs to remain healthy. Coconut milk is good for you because it’s the kind of milk alternative that is rich in fatty acids, has antimicrobial and antifungal properties, and can help to keep your heart in good shape.
We already touched on vanilla, so let’s move on to the fact that apples have a lot of fiber in them, along with nutrients that can lower your risk of being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes while keeping your gut running well, soothing asthma-related symptoms and even aiding in keeping your mental health where it should be.
On the sex tip, the fatty acids that are in pumpkin (especially pumpkin seeds) help to keep your sex hormones healthy while the zinc in them can increase your libido. Studies have shown that coconut can help to regulate male sex hormones and increase testosterone while apples can improve the overall quality of your sex life (especially if you are a young woman), not to mention the fact that it helps increase sexual arousal.
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6. Easy Passion Fruit Sparkler
With a name like passion fruit, it better have some sex-related benefits — goodness. Anyway, it would benefit you to get some passion fruit into your system because it’s another fruit that is a good source of fiber, antioxidants, potassium, and magnesium. Plus, passion fruit can help to reduce anxiety, strengthen your immunity and it can increase hydration in your skin. Also, since it’s a low-calorie fruit, you can get a taste of sweetness that you may desire without worrying about packing on the pounds in the process.
You might want to sip on a passion fruit sparkler or two hours before having sex because the combination of potassium (which we already discussed can intensify your climaxes) and magnesium (which can make you less anxious and boost your libido; especially after menopause) could make for a really good night! (By the way, this recipe also calls for coconut and we’ve already touched on what it can do.)
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
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7. Pomegranate Mojito Mocktail
Since I’m a Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) observer, I’m very aware of the significance of pomegranates on a lot of levels. Health-wise, this fruit is good for you because it’s a solid source of protein, fiber, vitamin C, folate, potassium, and antioxidants. Pomegranates also have anticancer properties in them, they’re able to reduce bodily inflammation and they can even help to keep your brain sharp. Also, if you’re looking for food that can reduce UV ray damage from the inside out, pomegranates have your back in that department too.
Two other sex-beneficial ingredients in this recipe are mint and ginger (beer). Mint is good for your oral health as well as relieving indigestion, reducing breast discomfort while breastfeeding, and decreasing the severity of various cold symptoms. Ginger is awesome because it contains medicinal properties that do everything from bringing you some much-needed nausea (and morning sickness) relief and supporting your weight loss goals to lowering your cholesterol levels and reducing menstrual pain.
And what makes pomegranates an aphrodisiac? For starters, the antioxidants in them help to reduce stress and open up blood vessels, so that men have stronger erections and everyone has better orgasms. Plus, if you and your partner are looking to conceive, some research says that pomegranates have the ability to improve the quality of a man’s sperm.
And although mint has a reputation for lowering testosterone levels in men, it still gets a shout-out because it can help to balance hormones in women. And, as far as ginger goes, it’s another food that increases blood flow throughout your body which makes arousal easier and climaxing better.
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
8. Sparkling Apple Cider Mocktail
We’ve already talked about how apples and pomegranates can do your body, including your libido, a lot of good. As we close these fall mocktail recipes out, I thought it would be a good idea to find one that combines both fall season fruits. And I’ll just reiterate real quick that apples have polyphenols and antioxidants in them that will help to get you aroused quicker while pomegranates contain properties that can even help to put you in the mood for sex.
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
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With the weather getting cooler and the desire to cuddle (more) getting stronger, test one (or all) of these fall-themed mocktails out. It’s a delicious way to have an even more delicious night. #wink
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
Keep It Cute Love And Hip Hop GIFGiphyAs the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Aint It No Way GIF by UFCGiphyOuch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
Break Up Friendship GIF by TLCGiphy“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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