

When I tell you that, even as I’m typing all of this, I’ve got around 45 tabs open — I am absolutely not exaggerating (if you’ve got a laptop, get a laptop cooling pad; it’s a lifesaver when it comes to your keyboard!). Between all of the writing assignments that I have and tidbits of information that I come across, I have to keep them open until I find a “home” for all of the content that I collect.
Today, I’m about to clear out quite a few as I share with you something that I talk about a lot over on this platform: SEX. Only this time, because the tidbits are not (necessarily) long enough for their own piece, yet they are interesting enough to share, I’m going to tackle 15 current sex-related points back-to-back that might surprise you. Maybe, maybe not. At the very least, it’ll give you and your girls something to talk about the next time you get together for after-work drinks.
Ah, sex. It never stops being fascinating, y’all. Here we go.
1. Not Kissing During Sex Is More Common than You Think
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?” While that might sound odd to some (me included), the people I interviewed for it aren’t alone. For better or for worse, although close to 90 percent of people said that they kissed during their last sexual encounter, people under 30 are more likely to skip out on doing it because “kissing is too intimate.” Umm…sooo…genitalia on and in you isn’t? Chile…nevermind.
2. The Use of Plan B Has Doubled
Yeah, I don’t know what I think about this one because I personally think that Plan B hasn’t been around long enough for folks to be popping them like Tums. For one thing, it’s important to remember that it’s supposed to be used as emergency contraception; secondly, since it only helps to prevent pregnancy, people still need to get out here using condoms. Plus, side effects like irregular (menstrual bleeding), headaches, and a lower libido need to be kept in mind.
All of that said, it looks like people are using Plan B more than ever before, to the point where 1 in 4 women say that they have used it before. That brings me back to the importance of condom use (which, short of a latex allergy, doesn’t really have side effects). I’ll talk about this more at the end of all of this.
3. Millennials Think Sex Is More Important than Gen Z-ers Do
I’m not gonna get to preaching about how I find myself saying, at least three times a week, that when you don’t know the purpose of something, you are bound to misuse or abuse it — and how, to me, sex is on the very top of that list. I’ll just say that with the current state of our culture, it doesn’t surprise me in the least that Gen Z (born 1997-2021) is out here Elmo shrugging when it comes to sex. Meanwhile, the generation who comes right before them (y’all, millennials don’t go on forever…LOL; it’s folks who were born between 1981-1996) actually make sex more of a priority.
Now, I will say that I appreciate that only 5 percent of the Gen Z crew think that sex is the most important part of a relationship. That shows some depth in their mindset, for sure.
4. Uncut Men Are Totally Underestimated
If there are two things that I find to be, let’s go with “fascinatingly hypocritical” when it comes to online gender banter, is the fact that a lot of women like to crack on short guys while not wanting men to say anything about women’s weight and that women also seem to be hella dismissive of men who haven’t been circumcised when a lot of us have vulvas and vaginas that have quite a bit of extra skin going on as well.
That’s why I had to shout out the fact that when it comes to men who are uncut, they actually tend to have more intense orgasms than men who are circumcised.
Not only that, but women who engage in coitus with uncircumcised guys tend to experience less “bang-bang-bang” sex and have more orgasms, too. Well, looka there.
5. Folks over 50 Like Doggy Style Most
A couple of months ago, I saw an IG post of a woman who was struggling up the stairs with some Timberland boots in hand. Her caption simply said, “If your man owns a pair of these, then you know.” LOL. Chile. And who would’ve thought that although 50 isn’t old (AT ALL), with all of the folks out here with back issues, bad mattresses, and the need to work out a bit more, the fave position for those who are 25 times two and over is doggy style (with missionary coming after and the spoon position trailing after that)?
While it should come as no surprise that men enjoy the visuals and powerful feelings that come with the position, I’m curious to know how many of y’all can relate to the Women’s Health article, “12 Thoughts Every Girl Has During Doggy Style.” Hop up in the comments and let me know.
6. Meanwhile, Women Prefer Missionary (Most of All)
Not too long ago, I was in an interview with someone who told me that submission (to men) was antiquated. I immediately said, “So, you don’t have sex then?” When she asked me what I meant, I said, “Isn’t the missionary position an act of submitting to a man?” She immediately changed the subject (uh-uh). Hey, don’t take my word for it.
A GQ article literally cited that most women still find missionary to be a top-tier sexual position, in part because “the eye contact, the mild male dominance, and the angle of penetration make it a popular one among women..”
And with that, let’s move on to the next point.
7. Women Are Still Faking. Men Are Still Not Believing It.
I’ve written about faking it on this platform before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”). Personally, I’m not a fan (check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP”). A huge part of the reason is that I’m pretty word-literal, and fake means things like deceive, fraudulent, and pretending — yeah, I don’t know how anything truly beneficial comes out of that, especially long-term.
Anyway, somebody let the fellas know that faking is still alive and “well” no matter what they think because it’s also been cited that while 85 percent of guys think that they made their partner cum the last time they had sex with them, only 64 percent of women said that was actually the case (vaginal contracting happens during climaxing, fellas. Always remember that).
8. Men Ain’t the Only Ones Who Loathe Rubbers
A male friend of mine recently told me that wearing a condom is like wanting to enjoy the rain while in your car when the windows are rolled up. I shared that with some other men I know and they pretty much agreed. One expounded and said it’s like “wearing a trash bag on your d-ck.” Hmm. Although a part of me thinks that folks need to do better at wearing rubbers that actually fit them (because only 50 percent do), men are not alone in not being the biggest fan of prophylactics.
Apparently, a whole lot of women also think that condoms make sex less pleasurable, too. I mean, raw sex in a long-term committed relationship (where two people are exclusive, honest, and tested regularly) is understandably the most ideal situation.
For everyone else who wants to avoid pregnancy and/or STDs and/or doesn’t want to rely on hormone-filled birth control to prevent conception — a list of “barely like it's even on” condoms can be found here.
9. Around 20 Percent of People Are Abstinent
If you’re currently abstinent and it seems like you’re the only one on the planet that is,trust me, you ain’t. Reportedly, around 19-20 percent of people are currently not having sex (intentionally). Interestingly enough, many women don’t, either due to discomfort during sex or having a low libido. Also, on the topic of not gettin’ any, I think it should go on record that most of the population is no longer a virgin by 22. At the same time, around 27 percent of young men are still virgins. Yeah, bet that last thing wasn’t on your Bingo card…was it?
10. Women Don’t Find Money to Be As Sexy As Social Media Says
Chile, if you leave it up to TikTok, every woman in the world is out for a man’s money. However, a study of over 17,000 women actually said that what women find to be the sexiest thing in a man is confidence (65 percent), followed by humor (54 percent) and intelligence (53 percent). And just where did a man’s wallet place? Last — at 7 percent. Share it with everyone you know.
11. Some Men Intentionally Bring Condoms to Funerals
A random movie that I like isCatch & Release (Jennifer Garner, Juliette Lewis). In the trailer, you see a couple having sex in a bathroom right after a funeral. That’s what crossed my mind when I read that, reportedly, 1 in 8 men bring condoms to homegoings. I don’t mean that there is one already in their wallet; I mean that they plan on having rubbers on tap — just in case. I mean, if ever there’s a time when emotions are all over the place, that would be it. Not sure how to close this one out so, I’ll just go to the next.
12. Religious Folks Have Better Sex than “Secular” Ones Do
One of my favorite Message Version translations of Scripture is I Corinthians 6:16-20. It starts off by saying this:
“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one.’ Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’”
You know, no matter what you think about the Bible, science even backs that sex bonds people (thanks to oxytocin, for starters). And when you add a serious commitment and a spiritual foundation into the mix, I’m not surprised that, reportedly, religious couples profess to have more satisfying sex than “secular people” do. Not surprised at all.
13. Women Like Sex Toys. A LOT.
Here’s my TMI tidbit for the day: I don’t own nor have I ever owned or even used a sex toy (well, not one that needs batteries). Never had the need or curiosity to. Oh, but when I toured with an organization that got people out of the porn industry, I learned quite a bit about them and knew that they were going to be increasing in demand and use — and that is all true.
Word on the street is that 50 percent of people use some type of sex toy on a weekly basis, 82 percent of women own at least one sex toy (vibrators are their favorite pick) and almost 40 percent of women would prefer to use their sex toys without their partner. Hmm…does anyone care to expound on that last part?
14. People over 60 Are Still Gettin’ It In
Every time I see something on social media that alludes to the fact that folks over 40 aren’t really having that much sex, I get irritated. Some people are so young-minded that they think 40 is ancient. Meanwhile, their parents and grandparents are out here running circles around some of these 20-somethings. Case in point: nine million women over 60 had sex at least once last year; 13 percent say that they enjoy sex more now than they did a decade ago; 57 percent said that they (almost) always cum with their partner (can you say the same?), and 14 percent masturbate a few times a month.
If you add to that the fact that more than half of people between the ages of 57-75 have oral sex and one-third between 75-85 are doing the same and that 54 percent of those aged 75-85 engage in intercourse 2-3 times a month while 23 percent get it in at least once a week — whew! Can we finally put ageism, as it specifically relates to sexual activity, where it belongs? In. The. Trash.
15. More People Need to Be Wearing Condoms. SERIOUSLY.
Listen, I don’t know why the fact that just knowing that syphilis has increased 80 percent over the past several years isn’t enough for people to WRAP IT UP out here (le sigh). Oh, and yet here we are: only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms consistently. Sometimes, I just sit and think about all of the confusion, chaos, and avoidable sickness out here, and it’s all because 1) we treat sex too casually and/or 2) we don’t use protection.
There are plenty of Google links to prove that it’s not my opinion that STIs/STDs aren’t going anywhere — probably ever. In fact, they are reportedly surging. So, out of the 15 things that you just read, I saved the best one for last in the sense that, for the sake of your overall health and well-being (as well as your partner’s), USE CONDOMS. Raw sex lasts a moment. The outcome? That can be a lifetime. Real talk and straight up.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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10 Women Tell Me Why They Made The Decision To Be Estranged From Their Parent(s)
Although there are many quotes that I have used in these articles throughout the years, I’d be almost shocked if the one that hasn’t been included the most is “Adulthood is surviving childhood.”
I thought about that one, again, recently, when I checked out a BuzzFeed article entitled, “People Are Just Now Realizing They Had An 'Eggshell Parent' And The Ways It's Secretly Impacting Their Adult Lives.” If you’ve never heard of “eggshelling” before, it’s a term that is used for if you felt like you had to walk on eggshells as a kid because your parents' emotions were super erratic and hella unpredictable. SMDH.
Personally, that is just one of the things I experienced while growing up, although the main reason why I’ve been estranged from my mother for (I think) about six years now (I honestly haven’t really been keeping track at this point) is because she simply doesn’t respect my boundaries. Even well into my adulthood, she has refused to do it and it was messing with my inner peace and personal growth on a few different levels — and y’all, I don’t care who it is, no one should have that kind of power over someone else’s life (if you want to read more about my journey with estrangement, I tackle the topic in my latest book).
And before some of you come with the ever-so-manipulated Bible verse “Honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12), I hope you also remember that there is a Scripture that says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 — NKJV) To provoke is “to stir up, arouse, or call forth (feelings, desires, or activity)”; know what else it is: “to anger, enrage, exasperate, or vex.” Funny how it is not preached or taught nearly enough that parents are absolutely not supposed to raise their kids or treat their adult children in a way that angers, enrages, exasperates, or vexes them — and think about it: when’s the last time you heard a sermon on that? I’ll wait.
Besides, unless you’re someone who has made the courageous decision to put distance between the person/people who’ve raised you, you honestly don’t get how much of a sacrifice it can be. Very few of us are flippant about that decision. Very few of us saw our adult life without our parent(s) in it. Very few of us wanted to deal with all of the “fallout” that comes with making that kind of choice because listen, for me, it’s almost like being in witness protection in the sense of having to also leave certain people who are associated with her alone as well because either they also don’t respect boundaries or they try further victimize me by attempting to impose their opinions into something that they absolutely shouldn’t (for instance, when I shared what I went through with her, one of my closest friends at the time, more than once called me “petty”…yeah, he had to go; you don’t have to defend why you need to protect yourself…if you are doing that, those are unsafe people you are talking to).
It’s not like I’m rare either. In fact, it’s been reported that close to 30 percent of adults are currently estranged from at least one of their parents (you can read about it here, here, here, here, and here). And with that being said, today, we’re going to hear from 10 women (well, technically 12 if you include the videos at the beginning and end) as they share their own reasons why they made the decision to go “no contact” with their own parent/parents.
If you are estranged, I hope you will see that you are not alone. If you aren’t, I hope it will help you to have more compassion for those who have made this kind of choice. Because although “adulthood is surviving childhood” is true for many of us, it actually wasn’t supposed to be that way. And so, we’ve had to take great lengths to go from “surviving” to “flourishing”…even if that meant doing it without the ones who — alongside God, of course — created us.
Article continues after the video.
*Middle names are used so that people can speak freely*
1. Michelle. 32. Estranged from Her Mother for Four Years.
“My mother is a narcissist — only I didn’t know it because I didn’t have much to compare her to because she kept me away from a lot of…everything. Ironically, that is a telling sign that you’ve got a narcissistic parent: they think you are an extension of them, so they try and make you do everything just like them. Since they are so bad at respecting boundaries, they don’t care how old you are — they think they have a say in every decision that you make because their ego is bigger than their love.
It took me years of therapy to recognize this but once I did and I told my mom that she was hypercritical, that she used to pit me and my siblings against each other, that she only knows how to gaslight and manipulate — she played the victim and told me that if I couldn’t accept her as she was, we couldn’t have a relationship.
That’s another thing about narcissist: they hate accountability. I think there should be more articles about parents who are estranged from their kids because they pull that ‘my way or the highway’ BS. I didn’t exactly leave my mom, but I did tell her what I wasn’t going to tolerate. We haven’t spoken in four years, ever since I drew that line. She left because she didn’t know how to humble herself, and I am fine with that. Arrogant people are toxic to be around.”
2. Iyan. 36. Estranged from Her Parents for 11 Years.
“I don’t think that a lot of parents get that they act like their kids should idolize them, which is crazy. We’re not toys or puppets who are supposed to do whatever they say, whenever they say it. Even as a parent myself, I think there is a difference between a child’s individuality and a child obeying me. Too many other parents have too much ego to think the differences through. To your question — I am estranged from my parents because they disapproved of who I chose to marry. He’s not the same faith as them but I don’t think that would even matter because they damn near betrothed me when I was a kid.
They wanted to choose my career path, my husband, my role in church — everything. It got to the point where they were disrespecting my husband, our relationship, and my feelings, and so it was time to boomerang their own Bible and remind them that when you get married, you ‘leave and cleave’ to your spouse and move on from your family. If your family accepts that, they can be in your life. If not, you’ve got to move on. They chose for me to be estranged, not me. I put my husband first, just like I was supposed to.”
3. Jahkai. 29. Estranged from Her Mother for Four Years.
“Sometimes I think that people just have children so that they can have someone to boss around as kids and intimidate when they become adults. My mother is one of those people because it’s like her whole existence centers around trying to force me to live the life that she wants me to live. I used to be so afraid of her, even if that just meant afraid of her rejection, that I would go along with it.
Then I got pregnant with my daughter and saw that she wasn’t even going to respect me as a mom — and when I saw signs that she was going to try and pull that shit with my own child? The claws came out. I tried expressing my concerns and setting some boundaries, but she dismissed my feelings and walked right over my boundaries, so she had to go. There was no way that she was going to try and raise the child I birthed. My child needs peace. So do I.”
4. Gillian. 24. Estranged from Her Parents for Almost Two Years.
“I’m bisexual. That’s the beginning and end of it. I personally think it’s creepy when a parent can be so invested into their grown child’s sexuality that it ends up wrecking their own world. You sleep with who you want to sleep with, and I will do the same.
My parents don’t see it that way. They told me that unless I stop loving women, we have nothing to talk about. You only love me if I love who and how you love? That doesn’t sound like love at all.
I don’t expect my parents to agree with my life or even like it. I just don’t want you penalizing me because we are different. Seems really immature to be any other way…to me, anyway.”
5. Aubrie. 27. Estranged from Father for Four Years.
“My father always wanted me to be an accountant, and I hate math. That’s insane. That’s what happens when you don’t make the time to get to know your own children. So many parents are egomaniacs in that way — just because I look like you doesn’t mean that I am you. Until my sophomore year in college, I just held my tongue and suffered through my education because when I was living at home, I didn’t really have a choice, and when I went to school, my parents paid for my education.
They didn’t want me to have any debt, and I appreciated that, but my spirit was going into debt anyway because my dad had me on a path that I didn’t like or want, and my mom was too weak to speak up for either one of us. By my junior year, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to get student loans, so that I could start over and major in English. That pissed my dad off two ways because I was changing my major and I was going to take on debt.
We’re not estranged in the classic sense. It’s more like he doesn’t come to the phone whenever I call, and he grunts words over the holidays. So, I call less and go home even less than that. We’re headed towards ‘no contact’ if he doesn’t get over the fact that he has a life, and so do I.”
6. Lameeya. 41. Estranged from Her Mother for Eight Years.
“My mother? I just don’t like her — I never really have. I can’t stand how we’ll all agree that you should choose your friends wisely, but when it comes to your blood, it’s like you should be all in their lap simply because they are related to you. Toxic is toxic, and my mother is the embodiment of that. She plays mind games. She manipulates. She gaslights. She’s spoiled and entitled. I would never pick her as a friend. She drains me in every way. It’s like whenever I would even sense that she was going to call or come around, I would get hives, and it got to the point where it didn’t make sense that I should suffer just because she’s my mother. Who came up with that?”
7. Sloane. 25. Estranged from Her Mother for One Year.
“I grew up COGIC. If you know, you know. When you’re a kid, you don’t know any different or better, but once I started to seek out my own path, I realized that Christianity just wasn’t for me. My mother damn near lives at church and so, of course, I was declaring that I wanted to go to hell in her eyes when I told her that I had chosen the Baháʼí faith. Christians can be so rude. Somehow, they want you to respect what they believe, but they are so comfortable preaching hell and damnation if you don’t think like them.
Anyway, a part of why I chose Baháʼí is because it’s very peaceful to me, and religion never brought me peace in my mother’s house. Now that I’m all about this peace-filled life, anything that is ‘anti’ it has to go. She was on the top of my list. If you can’t respect what makes me ‘me,’ why are you here? It’s just been a year now. If we remain out of contact, that’s kind of on her, but I have no desire to hear her preach every time we speak. Be my mom. I don’t want a pastor.”
8. Torrin. 33. Estranged from Her Parents for Six Years.
“You have your own dysfunctional issues going on if you think that you owe someone your sanity simply because they birthed you. A good parent doesn’t just give you life — they provide a safe environment for that life, and my parents didn’t.
My mother was hell on wheels, and my father was a weak man who let her be that way. She was controlling, erratic, and exhausting, while he just let it all happen.
I recently read that Khloe Kardashian said that her mom didn’t like it when she first started therapy. Controlling parents never do. It took me a lot of therapy to stop beating myself up mentally the way that my mother did emotionally and sometimes physically, but once I got that she was the problem and healing was the solution, I had no problem letting them both go: her for being abusive and my father for being complacent.”
9. Kristine. 40. Estranged from Her Mother for Six Months.
“You always want your parents to get along with your husband — I just didn’t bet on my mother loving him more than me, especially now that we are divorced. That man cheated on me, more than once, and although I didn’t tell my mom while we were married about it, once we separated and I explained why I made what was a really difficult decision for me, she kept finding excuses for him and even tried to make me feel bad for not trying to make it work. Divorces are hard, and the last thing I needed was my mother trying to ‘beat me up’ for standing up for myself.
Now I’ve got questions about her marriage because if you think that I should tolerate nonsense, have you been tolerating your husband’s? Has he been tolerating yours? You get a certain age, and you start to wonder how much projecting your parents do onto you. Anyway, we haven’t talked to each other in six months. She and my ex apparently still go out to dinner, though. You two enjoy.”
10. Madolyn. 45. Estranged from her Father for 20 Years.
“I had an abusive father. He was an alcoholic while I was growing up, and so fear instead of love kept me in communication with him once I became an adult. The plot twist is, he got clean while I was in college, but he suddenly had all kinds of amnesia about the pain that he caused. His apologies were sh-t like ‘I don’t remember that, but if you need me to apologize, okay.’ So, our lives were a living hell, and that’s all you’ve got because it hurts you too much to face it? Ain’t that a bitch.
The last time we spoke was right before I turned 25. I think someone is more harmful when they can’t own their sh-t than when they are actually doing it, because that means they could do it again. No thanks. I’ll take wholeness.”
____
As you can see, being estranged from a parent, going “no contact” with them, it has many layers, reasons, and scenarios. For me, as I listened to all of these women, what did come to my mind, though, is — how beautiful is it that, if the “beauty for ashes” in their stories is they had the strength to become self-aware, self-sufficient and healthy adults in spite of the cracks in their foundation, then there is a silver lining in it all. You should never feel guilt or shame for protecting yourself in ways that your parents absolutely should have. NOT. EVER.
And so, the sacrifice was well worth it — because ladies, look at you now. Salute.
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