Like anything in life, sex drives have their ups and downs. And even someone with the most active sex life can encounter a slump where, let's be real, you just don't feel like it. Even me.
I don't know if it's how hectic my life has felt, how much busier my mind has felt, or if it's just the natural rhythm of me getting older – but I have not really been as lustful or as randy as I've been in the past several years. I'm not biting my lip from a solicited dick pic, and I'm damn sure not eager to bust it open for a real one.
Related: 4 Hit It From The Back Moves That Are Bound To Get You To Orgasm
I'm at a place where I'm perfectly content with a quickie with my vibrator and leaving the energy session of a half-hour romp to the left on "Read". Or, at least, I was at that place. Admittedly, along with my slump and lower sex drive, I had become a lot more complacent in how I showed up in the bedroom. Little did I know that that had a lot to do with my newfound feelings about my sex life. As with anything in life, in order to strengthen it and ensure its health, I have to work at it. Recently, I've experimented with some moves that helped remind me how much better sex is when you're present, open, and spice things up a bit. Tried and true is beautiful, but so is new and improved.
Click through the gallery below for 5 hot like fire sex positions that will reiginite your sex life:
The Amazon
Credit: Bad Girls Bible
The Amazon gives the woman all the power. The standard version features the man on his back with his legs raised in the air, knees bent back towards his chest. The woman then mounts him, crouching over him from above in a kneeling or squatting position (Planted Amazon). It takes a bit of flexibility, but the intensity felt in this position is worth the effort. And the power you feel in this one of a kind Woman On Top position is undeniably exhilarating.
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Originally published June 22, 2018
Featured image by Giphy
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October 2025 Astrology: An Overview
Mercury enters Scorpio on October 6, and Mercury in Scorpio only knows depth. The conversations being had this month are inspiring, transformative, and a little more blunt than usual. This energy is good for the power of persuasion and for asking for what you want, especially within business and financial matters. On the same day, we have a Supermoon in Aries, and this is a powerful Full Moon for reflection, owning your power, and letting go of the insecurities that don’t resonate with what you want for yourself and your future.
Venus, the planet of love, moves into Libra on October 13 after being in Virgo for the past month, and after some time of healing and clarity in love, Libra is here to bring in the romance. Venus loves being in Libra, and this energy creates new beginnings within relationships and provides a little extra magic in this area of life. With Pluto going direct in Aquarius on the same day after being retrograde since May, life and love move forward mid-October, helping provide more stable and nurturing foundations in your personal life and community as well.
The New Moon of the month occurs in Libra on October 21, making it a beautiful time for manifesting romance, balance, and harmony in your world.
This New Moon aligns with the Sun in Libra, and it’s all about letting a new beginning transform your world and the love in your life for the better. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and Neptune retrograde enters Pisces on the same day, bringing in some water sign energy into the mix. As we close out the month, it’s time to renew, honor the transformations occurring, and know that your dreams aren’t as far out of reach as they may seem at times.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what October 2025 has in store for you.
What October 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is all about perspective, Aries. This is the month to trust the divine timing of your life, and not let the what-ifs overwhelm you. With the Sun in Libra, your sister sign, for most of the month, October is about building connections, finding your balance in love, and knowing that you are worthy of what your heart is seeking right now. We have a Supermoon in your sign on October 6, and emotions are a little heavier this month, but also healing. Give yourself grace, and let go of what isn’t working for you.
Venus is in your house of love from October 13 until November 6, and there is a lot to look forward to when it comes to romance and the relationship dynamics in your life as you move through the month. It’s about being confident in your power of attraction and letting love come to you right now. Before October comes to an end, we have a New Moon in your 7th house of love as well, and with all this energy in your relationship zone, life changes for you in love for the better in October.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a spiritual month for you, Taurus. You are thinking a lot about your next steps ahead, and are getting organized, focused, and aligned. The Supermoon on October 6 is a time of reflection for you, and you are entering the month ready to let go of the past, heal, and create space for something new in your life. This month is all about trusting your intuition and letting your wisdom guide you in your personal growth and evolution.
You are more than where you have been, and this month is a reminder of that.
With Mars in Scorpio and in your 7th house of love all month, you are motivated by the partnerships in your life right now. Your love life and relationships are where the action is for you this month, and you are honoring your passion and direction here. Venus, your planetary ruler, moves into your house of health mid-month and into November, and you are leaving October seeking healthier habits, daily routines, and relationships. Overall, this month is helping you align with your vision.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a fresh start for you, Gemini. Your heart is free, love is beaming, and you are feeling larger than life. This month is about taking a leap of faith in yourself, honoring your confidence in life, and being your biggest advocate. With the Sun in your 5th house of self-expression, romance, and happiness, and with Venus entering this same area of your chart mid-October, there is a lot to look forward to right now, and things are looking up for you.
On October 21, we have a New Moon in a fellow air sign, and this is a good time to set your intentions for creative projects, hobbies, romance, and your overall happiness in life. There are a lot of little moments of magic unfolding for you this month, and this New Moon is one of them. Before October comes to an end, Mercury, your ruling planet, enters Sagittarius, and this brings open communication into your relationships, and you are having lively conversations and insights.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a transformative month for you, Cancer. You are moving through closure, healing, and depth as you navigate the opportunities that are coming into your life, with the stability you are seeking. With the Sun in your 4th house of home and family in October, this is the month to spend more time in your safe spaces, connect with your loved ones, and get grounded. You are also more focused on your financial world right now, and this is a good time for building new foundations for yourself and looking at the bigger picture when it comes to your career and life goals.
Mars is in your house of romance and happiness for the entire month, and this is one of the highlights of your life right now. You are passionate about your joy and all the things that light you up inside, and you are protecting your peace and giving more of your energy to your pleasure. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Libra, highlighting your home life, and some Cancers may be moving at the end of the month or getting the opportunity to turn a page here. Overall, this is your month to reflect, go within, and make sense of what has been restricting you from feeling stable.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about taking things one day at a time and being patient with what is presenting itself to you, Leo. This month, you are getting your ducks in a row and gaining the clarity needed to create a new beginning in your life. The month begins with a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign on October 6, aligning in harmony with you and fueling your need for adventure. You are going over the wisdom you have gained as of late and how it has shifted the way you navigate your life and see the world around you.
On October 13, Pluto goes direct in your 7th house of love, after being retrograde here since May. This is bringing in more balance, empowerment, and passion into your love life, and this is a positive change of energy for you after a time of some power struggles within your relationships. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and this New Moon is the best time to set intentions for clarity, communication, and connection. October is about taking your time with things and knowing that everything is working out in your favor at the end of the day.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis October is about finding your balance, Virgo. There is a lot of energy when it comes to your finances this month, but you may be overworking or overcommitting yourself in the process. Honor the opportunities and responsibilities in your life, but make sure you are equally taking care of your health and prioritizing your time and energy so that you don’t burn out. Venus, the planet of love, is in your sign until October 13; use this energy to your benefit and let things come to you.
You are a magnet for abundance, romance, and support if you allow yourself to receive it.
On October 13, Venus moves into your 2nd house of income, and your relationships are a supportive place for you to lean on right now. Your love life and partnerships are where your financial world is evolving this month, and this is a good time to ask for what you want; you never know what may happen. At the end of the month, Neptune goes retrograde in your sister sign, Pisces, and you are taking a step back and reassessing what love means for you right now. Overall, October is about remembering that you don’t have to do it all alone, Virgo.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra Season is here, and it’s your time to shine and thrive! This Libra Season changes everything for you, and October is when you really begin to feel this shift in your life. The Sun is in your sign until October 22, and it’s time to put yourself first. With a Supermoon in Aries as we begin the month as well, you are letting go of any unhealthy attachments or relationship dynamics that take you away from yourself, and are moving into deeper clarity.
On October 13, Venus, your planetary ruler, enters your sign, where it loves to be the most. With Venus in your sign for the rest of the month, love takes on a new tone, and you are feeling more love for yourself and where life is taking you right now. To end the month, we have a New Moon in Libra, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want life to grow for you over the next year. This is a month of embarking on a new journey of self, and allowing what is inspiring you right now to build your confidence in yourself and your relationships.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about honoring your freedom and your power to decide, Scorpio. A lot is going on for you this month, and you have the passion and energy to see things through. Mercury, the planet of communication, moves into your sign at the beginning of the month on October 6, and this is going to help you get your ideas across, making it a good month for business matters, networking, and getting inspired. With Mars also in your sign for the entire month, life moves forward for you in transformative ways in October, and you are a force to be reckoned with.
On October 13, Venus moves into your house of closure, healing, and endings, and you are ready to close one chapter of love and create space for a new one. You are in a contemplative space when it comes to matters of the heart, and you are ready to let go of any heaviness you have been feeling here. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and you are ready to begin again. This Scorpio Season is about owning your confidence in life while letting go of insecurities or self-doubts that have been getting in the way of that.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleEverything unfolds for you in a beautiful way this month, Sagittarius. You are flowing well with the energy of October, and life opens up to you. With the Sun in your 11th house of aspirations, dreams, manifestations, and community, you are feeling in balance with your desires and your reality, and are bridging the gap here. This is a month of friendship, believing in your dreams, and creating space for love. With Juno also entering your sign at the beginning of the month until the end of the year, you are attracting soulmates into your life.
On October 6, we have a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign, allowing you some closure in love and a chance at healing. Your heart is feeling renewed, and you are owning your power in creating happiness in your life. Before the month ends, Mercury moves into Sagittarius, where it will be until mid-November, and inspiration is heightened. Pay attention to the guidance you are receiving this month, the conversations you are having, and the light bulb moments that are going off for you right now.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about going within and connecting with the guidance of your soul, Capricorn. You are taking more time for yourself this month, and rightly so, as you need time to fully process what has happened so far this year. Pluto goes direct in your 2nd house of income, and this moves things forward when it comes to your earning potential, abundance, and values.
The key this month is in valuing yourself, your perspective, and what you are building in your life right now.
On October 21, we have a New Moon happening in your career zone, and this is a good time to manifest your goals within your professional world. Put yourself out there, show up, and know that you are worthy of success and that your dreams aren’t too big for you. As we close out the month, Mercury moves into your house of closure, even further facilitating your desire for contemplation and alone time this month. Overall, October is about taking care of your mental health, owning your successes, and finding your peace.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a new beginning for you in love and in life, Aquarius. Your heart is feeling inspired, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. The Supermoon at the beginning of the month will be occurring in your 3rd house of communication, giving you the answers you have been looking for and helping you close the door on a chapter in your life that left you feeling misunderstood or misdirected. You are ready for a change of pace this month, and you are receiving that as we begin October.
Mid-October, Pluto goes direct in your sign after being retrograde since May, and this is a huge breath of fresh air for you and your path ahead. You may have been a little harder on yourself while Pluto was retrograde this year, and now you feel ready to forgive, move on, and own your power. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and you are embarking on a new adventure. The end of the month is a good time for traveling, exploring, and gaining a new perspective.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is giving you the guidance, perspective, and passion to see yourself with clear, loving eyes, Pisces. There is a sense of feeling more overwhelmed with life lately, and October is allowing you to gain the insight needed to move on from this energy, or at least see more of the gifts of what has occurred. On October 6, we have a Supermoon in an area of your chart having to do with self-worth, values, and income, and it’s time to see the gifts of what you have been investing in and valuing in your life, including yourself.
Let go of the need to play it small or count yourself out of important conversations, and know that you deserve a seat at the table.
With Pluto going direct in your 12th house of healing as we end the month, you are finally getting the answers you have been looking for emotionally, and it’s changing your perspective on your commitments in life and making you feel empowered. Before the month ends, Neptune goes retrograde in Pisces, and you are going to be moving through a personal revolution as we close out the year. You are inspired by change right now, and this month is what kicks starts this metamorphosis within you.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Today, as vice president and publisher of the Balance imprint at Grand Central Publishing, she’s able to amplify diverse scholarly voices on vital topics like addressing grief and pain in Black men, down-to-earth financial freedom insights for Latinas, and the struggles of high-performing Black women executives to find life harmony while still seeking career excellence.
The keyword here is scholarly—books that back up insights with actual research and decades of experienced exploration from credible sources. In a time where the number of social media followers can offer carte blanche expert labels, this is important and it’s profound when a Black woman is at the helm of executing pitch approvals, campaign launches, and budgets.
We talked with Nana about what led her into wellness and self-help publishing, working with authoritative voices like Dr. Kameelah Phillips how women can break the mold and thrive as creatives with business acumen within it, and her own word as a
xoNecole: Talk a bit about your career journey. Were you always interested in being in publishing, particularly in the wellness and self-help space?
Nana Twumasi: I ended up getting a job at a children's book publisher in Minneapolis. And at that time, I was also really interested in photography, so that particular job was as a photo researcher. If you're familiar with children's books—especially nonfiction ones that incorporate historical photos and illustrations and things like that— it was my job, among a team of people, to either research and find that imagery or manage photo shoots and things like that. So I did that for a few years, and it was a really good learning experience, just about how books come together in general.
And then I decided I wanted to go to grad school and really try to pursue being a writer, you know. So I ended up in California getting my masters in writing. And then, you know, as happens, I graduated, and I was like, oh, boy, I need a job.
And at that time, one of my school colleagues, my grad school colleagues, had started working at Jossey Bass, which was an independent publisher based in San Francisco. They had just been purchased by John Wiley and Sons, which is a larger publisher that's now based in Hoboken, N.J.
I was hired as an editorial assistant, which is generally where people start in the industry. [One of my bosses] was a very storied editor in both New York and San Francisco. He had worked at Rolling Stone. He had worked with Tom Robbins, the novelist. He had a long career, and he was doing the more kind of like wellness, self-improvement, marriage relationships, some spirituality, that basically most of the categories that I work in now. I just kind of gravitated more towards those categories and the things that he was working on.
I love knowledge. I love learning. I think other people do too, and those are the resources that we're producing is educating people, helping people solve problems, and helping people discover new ways of thinking about something.
And so whether that's how to parent your teenager, or if you want to, you know, improve your protein intake, or if you want to, you know, manage your relationship better, the best information you're going to get is by someone who's an expert, who studied or practiced, or, you know, had some like, real-life experience doing a thing.
xoN: You’ve been five years in this role. What does a day in your life look like for you and how has it changed since your first day?
NT: There's a lot of behind the scenes work that goes into a book, and so most of my day is spent talking about talking about it. My role is kind of twofold, maybe, maybe three-fold even. So, I run an imprint which is essentially a small business. I manage a team of people. So, I have two editors that report to me, as well as an assistant who also is starting to manage her own editorial projects. And then I'm also an editor myself. I also work on my own projects—work with my own authors, etc.
So on any given day, depending on the day you would talk to me varies. I’ll meet with a potential author that I've been in communication with about acquiring a book of hers, and we're talking about what that might look like. What does she need to move forward? What do I need to move forward with the project—what the possibilities might be?
We also look at our cover designs for the books that are coming out in Fall 2026, so publishing is always working at least a year ahead.
I do some editorial work. ….It's a lot of meetings, a lot of talking, a lot of collaborating with people across the process. You know, we have regular, I meet regularly with our publicists, which are with our marketers, with the, you know, division leadership,
xoN: How does being an accomplished editor and writer yourself play into your role as an executive?
NT: There is a fair amount of creativity and creative thinking that goes into running this imprint, because it's not just looking at a set of numbers and trying to make it the most strategic decision. There are so many factors to consider and the way that we think about them.
We solve problems here, it always has to lend itself, because we're not just making widgets, you know, we're making a thing that is created by somebody, that will go on to be used by a person. So we can't just treat it like a thing that doesn't have feeling.
So I don't find that I'm having to, like, use one part of my brain or use another part of my brain to do one thing or the other. The whole business involves a fair amount of creativity.
xoN: With a great focus on diverse voices, what are some milestones, or maybe some projects that you have worked on recently?
NT: Sometimes, if you look at a niche, it's a few million people, you know. So that, to me, is like, ‘Well, that seems like an opportunity.’ We've done Permission To Come Home, which is a mental health resource for Asian Americans. The Invisible Ache, which is a mental health book that's focused on Black men and is co-written by actor, Courtney B Vance.
We've done a book called Playing a New Game, which is a research-based resource for Black women in the workplace. There are many titles from diverse voices on topics that are important.
I worked on The Empowered Hysterectomy by Kameelah Phillips, who is actually a real-world Boston alum and is now an OB-GYN based in New York. I was inspired to do that book because my best friend had a hysterectomy a few years ago. …I was motivated to find someone who could speak to that with some authority.
A lot of what we know about gynecology was gleaned from experimenting on Brown women’s bodies. I have a soft spot for that book. The author is Black, the publisher and editor and the agent are also Black women. That was very important to me.
xoN: As a publisher, what are the books that you read just for fun?
Courtesy
NT: I'm, you know, I'm a long-time book nerd, so that's challenging to choose one. I read all day, every day. Most of my personal time is spent reading literary fiction. That's what I love to read. I’ll occasionally read nonfiction if it's a topic that I'm interested in.
I'm currently reading Toni at Random, which is a biography of Toni Morrison specifically about her work as an editor at Random House. Yes, yes, yeah. So I'm, I'm calling that my, you know, beginning of the school year homework—as we're starting the fall and everyone's back to work after the summer. I'm finding that to be really wonderful and inspirational for myself as an editor in general, as it is, an editor of color, and as a publisher.
xoN: What’s the key to breaking into and sustaining a career in publishing on the business side, especially for Black women?
NT: Intrapreneurship and determination are definitely part of it. I think people come into this—and I certainly did—thinking, ‘I'm creative. I love to read. I love books. I love knowledge.’ All the things that I said at the beginning. ‘I love learning.’ And then you kind of get, kind of like, hit in the face by the fact that, like, ‘Oh, this is a business.’
There are profit margins and all kinds of things that we have to be confronted with. And so you do really have to be savvy about that stuff. You really have to think about like, if I buy this at this price and I sell it at this price, am I going to make a profit? And it feels uncomfortable to talk about creative work like that. It really does. But that's what's happening.
This interview was edited for brevity.
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Featured image by DP Jolly