EXCLUSIVE: Serayah Talks New Single, Long-Standing Love & Reinvention
Before the world was introduced to Serayah’s coquettish on-screen persona Tiana Brown on Fox’s megahit show, Empire, the actress/R&B singer was at a crossroads. She and her mother (now manager) experienced a season of homelessness that served as the precipice of her realizing her dreams. “You can get weary and feel like giving up, but I had no lower to go,” Serayah tells xoNecole exclusively. “I could only go up [from there]. I decided within myself that this was not going to be [my] life anymore.”
When the opportunity came for her to audition for Empire, Serayah knew that it was now or never. And as fate would have it, landing the breakout role on the show would not only allow her to overcome her hardships but serve as the catalyst to manifesting her dreams of making it in the entertainment industry and penning her perspective into her art.
Serayah, best describes her six-season run on Empire as, “super cool, glamorous college.” After her six-year run on the show, Serayah decided to mark “the end of an era” with a bold, platinum blonde pixie cut, shedding her girlish charm in favor of fully embodying the multi-hyphenate woman she’s becoming.
Sterling Gold
Breaking out as an R&B songstress meant tapping into who Serayah, the artist, declared herself to be. In her highly-anticipated new single, "P.O.V.," Serayah invites her fans and listeners into her real life, to show that even the most challenging experiences can be an opportunity for growth and refined perspective. From shifts within her inner circle, her blooming love life, and everyday challenges of being a public figure, "P.O.V." is the essence of Serayah’s journey through her words, in her way.
“Music has helped me [find perspective] before. I always want to be true to the narrative in the space that I'm in; it’s the transparency through music. I'm not necessarily chasing a sound or chasing a social media platform. I want art to imitate life,” she tells xoNecole. “That’s why I love R&B, blues, and jazz because it was always authentic to what was going on in that time and era. I want to continue to push that side of music that really encapsulates a time and a space. I want my music to feel like that.”
"I'm not necessarily chasing a sound or chasing a social media platform. I want art to imitate life."
Serayah is creating from a space that is true to her intuition by living and learning through trial and error. While she’s flattered to be “#goals” to her fans, what she hopes to get across through her music is that she’s just figuring it out. “I want people to know where I come from and to know my struggles. I want to be an example for those who admire me, but I don’t want them to think that all things that glitter are gold.” She continues, “The prettiest, most expensive diamonds had to go through pressure. It’s okay to have ups and downs, I want to be a realistic role model.”
Allow this to be your re-introduction to Serayah.
xoNecole: What does your new single "P.O.V." mean to you as it relates to the direction you look to take musically?
Serayah: When I recorded the record, I always knew that it would have to be a part of a body of work — an EP or an album — because it's such a story and I just feel like a lot of people can relate to what I'm talking about. "P.O.V." encapsulates my early life, about struggling, finally getting a piece of success, and earning money I've never had before. My friends are changing, I’m losing friendships, some of my family members are acting weird now; it's like success brings different things out of the circle of people around you. And obviously, also my romantic feelings. "P.O.V." is the point of view of early life up until like 21 [years old]. I used this time to leave everything there and I'm moving past it.
xoNecole: Sometimes when it comes to new artists, the first debut project can come with some pressures. Have you had any hesitations about releasing new music and how do you overcome those feelings?
S: Oh my God, yes! I’ve had this song for like two years. Maybe three? I mean, we're artists and we're sensitive. It's literally the most vulnerable thing you can do is say, ‘hey, here's what I think is cool, this is what I put all my emotions into, and I hope you guys like it.’ It's nerve-racking. But I think for me, it's just, like, making sure that I'm 100% into it. I've overthought some records before but I'm putting those out now; I’m past that. I’m sure there'll be another project or another single where I'm overthinking it as well. I just feel like it's a part of the creative process; you may overthink sometimes.
Sterling Gold
xoNecole: You and your boo, Jacob Latimore, have been together for some years now, and the girls want to know, what's the secret? What do you think has been the key component to having a thriving relationship?
S: No secrets, sis! I just really think that things should be extremely simple. I feel like, dating, in general, is a little complicated, but then you add on social media and add on [the fact that] you're celebrities, and it makes it a little more complicated if you let it. [Jacob and I] have had our moments. We talk about everything; how we feel and we're completely transparent. He's so open in that way. He's very warm and nurturing to where he wants to know what's going on with me and how I'm feeling throughout the day, and I appreciate that. That creates a connection to be able to get through things that maybe if I wasn't comfortable, we wouldn't be able to get through it.
And so I think the secret would just be to be transparent and sensitive with each other because we all come from somewhere; we all have triggers and pasts. We have to build up respect for each other, especially as Black men and women. We have to respect each other and be just a little bit more gentle with each other. There's a lot of trauma going on, and you have to understand what that is and everything that plays into it. As you can see, if I'm serious with someone, I'm going into it with everything. Just keep it 100% with each other at all times.
xoNecole: How have you grown in your relationship?
S: It's so important when you are in love or in a relationship with another person that you prioritize your self-love because how you feel about yourself, your life, and your career reflects on you and will bleed into your relationships and how you view them. I've learned to just have self-reflecting moments instead of reacting; if there's something that bothers me, I don't need to say it as soon as it happens, I can take a second, a day, or an hour, and reflect on it myself. Is it me? How am I interpreting the situation and how can I talk to [my partner] without being angry or something? It's helped me just be able to communicate more efficiently and in a healthier way. Communication's everything.
Especially for [me and Jacob]; I haven't seen him in a month. So we have to communicate, we don't have the lifestyle to where we're always gonna just be around each other. We should give our men their flowers too. There’s this big thing going on that says, ‘He needs to buy me Birkins, he needs to buy me this and I'm in the club singing it too, don't get it twisted.' But I really feel like the gem is to celebrate our men and make them feel wanted and appreciated and that they're doing good. They're changing the trajectory for Black men in general. It's just so important for us to think about the overall picture when we talk about Black love.
"It's so important when you are in love or in a relationship with another person that you prioritize your self-love because how you feel about yourself, your life, and your career reflects on you and will bleed into your relationships and how you view them."
xoNecole: You’ve had a lot of rapid growth and life transitions over the years, what advice would you give to someone who’s learning to adjust to a new chapter in their life?
S: I would say: be humble, not modest. Being humble is a great thing and humility goes a long way, apart from being grateful. So when you’re in that transition, bring your confidence and attack your goals head-on. Big places and big blessings are always going to be uncomfortable, the more that you want [in life], the more you’re going to be uncomfortable. As long as you know that you’re never in a place you’re not ready to be in, don’t even worry about the small things. Just focus on the bigger picture and it will all work out.
For more of Serayah, follow her on Instagram @serayah. Her new single, "P.O.V." is now streaming.
Featured image by Sterling Gold
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
So…I wanna say that it must’ve been when I was either in the seventh or eighth grade that I participated in a series of etiquette classes.
As antiquated as that might sound to some these days and although I don’t remember a ton about them, what I am forever grateful for is learning how to properly set a table and what utensils to use at big formal dinners. When you’re a kid, you think stuff like that is totally unnecessary. Oh, but grow up, move in some circles and you’d be surprised how much random tips will hold you down in a pinch.
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
____
Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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Featured image by Drazen Zigic/Getty Images