September is all about getting organized, working together with others, having patience, and believing in your dreams. There are real possibilities and opportunities for growth this month, but it’s all about perspective and where you choose to focus your vision. With Virgo Season in full swing, there is more to get done and do than at any other time of the year, as Virgo is all about accomplishing the mission. However, rushing your intentions or the work you are doing can lead you to places that don’t serve, and having patience with yourself and others while handling business this month is key. Use your intuition wisely, trust your instincts, and get creative.
On September 5, Venus moves into Virgo and is ready to clean house. Anything or anyone that isn’t healthy or beneficial to your heart is not sustainable in this energy, and Venus in Virgo expects the best of the best. This month is about recognizing the power you hold in life, and knowing you deserve everything you truly want in love. A few days later, Mercury goes retrograde for the third time this year. Mercury will begin its retrograde transit in Libra from September 9 to September 23 and will finish its retrograde transit in Virgo from September 23 to October 2.
With both of these signs being very logical signs, it’s all about the mind and communication right now. This time is about paying attention to the signs, not getting too ahead of yourself, and of taking things one day at a time. Know that the messages will come, but it’s also equally important to tap into and understand your own personal truths as well so that you can communicate that clearly.
The Full Moon occurring mid-month on September 10 is happening in Pisces, and it is the Harvest Full Moon of the year. This Full Moon is all about dreams coming true and manifestations appearing. A Full Moon in Pisces gets emotional, and overall this is a time of deep growth happening within and without. On September 22, Libra Season begins, and the energy moves from detail-oriented, goddess energy Virgo, into relationship-oriented, love-focused Libra. With Libra Season moving through, new relationship developments will be taking place at the end of the month and September is a time of working together with others instead of alone.
The New Moon in Libra on September 25 before the month ends is bringing this love energy front and center, and by the end of the month, you should be setting your intentions for love, connection, and balance. September is overall about giving yourself and others grace and believing in the beauty and magic of what is becoming for you. Here's what else the month has in store for your zodiac sign.
Aries Horoscope for September 2022
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleSeptember is a month of paving new paths for yourself and seeing new doors open for you in life, Aries. The focus is on the work you are doing right now, and the return you are seeing. It’s all about finding the balance between your work priorities and what your body and your health need from you as well. With the Sun moving through your 6th house of daily routines for most of the month, this is the time to get organized, make space, and focus on what is best for you overall.
Mercury goes retrograde this month and will be moving retrograde in your 7th house of love and relationships from September 9 to September 23. With a New Moon also in this area of your chart on September 25, the message is clear right now, and that is that sometimes it’s better to come together with others and work as a team, rather than trying to have the upper hand. Seek the peace within your relationships, and take note of what abundant circumstances are appearing for you.
Taurus Horoscope for September 2022
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about emotional freedom, joy, and connection, Taurus. There are a lot of positive experiences for you to enjoy in September, and you are feeling like you have your people around you, supporting you every step of the way. This is the month to share the love and allow yourself to receive it as well. When you can live in your authentic truths, you inspire others to as well and people are meeting you where you are.
The Sun and Venus are moving through your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and love is truly on your side right now. The intentions you have been setting when it comes to your love life and your close relationships are seeing fruition, and it feels good to know where you stand with others and vice versa. The Full Moon on September 10 is a time of revelation when it comes to your friendship and community, and you are gaining clarity on who has been there for you through it all this month.
Gemini Horoscope for September 2022
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleSeptember is all about having patience, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going into retrograde this month, there is a need to take things slower, water your seeds, and give yourself grace through what is becoming for you right now. The more you can live day by day trusting yourself, your value, and your gift of manifestation, the more you can allow the universe to meet you halfway. Lists of gratitude serve your soul well this month, and it’s all about perspective.
Mercury will be in retrograde in your 5th house of romance for a few weeks, then it will move into the area of your birth chart having to do with the home and your foundations in life. Overall this month is about finding the balance between having fun and protecting your energy, and sometimes you need time to figure out which is which. The New Moon in fellow air sign Libra happening at the end of the month on September 25 will be an awakening experience for you and will allow you to reconnect with your hope and inspiration.
Cancer Horoscope for September 2022
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a groundbreaking month for you, Cancer. Things are changing for you this month but they are overall changes that have needed to be made and are setting you up on the path toward success. September is all about flowing through change and finding your ground no matter what is happening around you. Remember that the Universe has your back, and go from there. You are stronger than you know.
There is a Full Moon happening on September 10 in fellow water sign Pisces, and this Full Moon will be giving you all the insight and clarity on where expanding your horizons is necessary, and on seeing the bigger picture. With Mercury moving retrograde in your 4th house of home, family, foundations, and your inner world for most of the month, foundations are shaking and you are getting the opportunity to rebuild for yourself in a way that makes more sense for you. Remember that what leaves your life is not sustainable for you to continue and that the detours you are experiencing this month are blessings.
Leo Horoscope for September 2022
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleNow that Leo Season has passed, you are getting the opportunity to regroup, reflect, and get some much-needed rest, Leo. There is an energy of a lot happening in your life this past month and for September, and allowing yourself and your mind time to process means everything right now. Don’t overthink things or sell yourself short, and trust that giving yourself time and grace to work through what is appearing for you now will be better for everyone in the long run.
With the Sun and Venus moving through your 2nd house of income, value systems, assets, and self-confidence in life for most of the month, you are gaining clarity on what you are putting out, what you are receiving, and if this is where you want to be in life. You deserve to live abundantly and find stability in this success, and September is the month of recognizing what you need and if you are truly getting that in life. Don’t be afraid to flip the script this month, switch things up, and ask for what you want.
Virgo Horoscope for September 2022
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVirgo Season is underway, and the spotlight is on you right now, Virgo! September is your month of stepping up, leading the pack, and showing up for yourself and your life. You are feeling powerful every step of the way this month and are not only proving to others what you are capable of, but most importantly proving it to yourself as well. Remember that who you are is beautiful and enough, and allow your authenticity to shine in all its glory this month.
Your ruling planet Mercury will be going retrograde on September 9 and will begin its transit in Libra and your 2nd house of income, before moving into Virgo and your 1st house of self from September 23 to October 2nd. Overall, this is a time of going over your finances, replanning, and valuing yourself more than anything. With Venus in Virgo from September 5 to September 29, the confidence will be with you to move through anything, and there will be love showering on you in magical ways. You can get through anything, Virgo, and you are doing so with a smile on your face this month.
Libra Horoscope for September 2022
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleSeptember is a month of balance and synergy for you, Libra. This is the month where you are experiencing a coming together in your life, and love and magic are unfolding for you right now. With a lot of energy in Libra this month, things are moving fast for you, but you’re dancing with life as if it is nothing to you but another day. The cycles of life are moving, and you are finding a lot of gratitude for the way things have panned out for you.
With Mercury going retrograde in your sign from September 9 to September 23, Libra Season beginning on September 22, a New Moon in Libra on September 25, and Venus entering Libra on September 29, the message is clear right now; and that is to spend more time on yourself and for yourself. Don’t be afraid to be a little more selfish this month, as this is the time for you to recognize the gifts you hold, the beauty within you, and the power you have in life. Repeat, “I love who I am, and I love who I am becoming” throughout the month.
Scorpio Horoscope for September 2022
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSeptember is all about clarity and recognition for you, Scorpio. Truths are coming to the surface this month that cannot be denied, and the answers are right in front of you. This is the month to listen to your heart, open your mind, and prepare for a new day. Remember that you are beautiful and capable no matter who else can see that, and the more you believe in yourself and all that is possible for you in life, the more blessings that can show up for you this month.
The Sun and Venus will be moving through your 11th house of friendship for most of September, and this is a good month to expand your horizons, network, and meet new people. Focus on your intentions right now and know that the key to manifesting is to believe it is already so, rather than getting stuck in the vision of worry or of what you don’t want. The New Moon at the end of the month is closing some chapters in your life, and you are ready for this release.
Sagittarius Horoscope for September 2022
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSeptember is an inspiring month for you, Sagittarius. This is the month to move forward with your passions and tap into your inner courage and creativity. Remember that you are protected and supported every step of the way on your journey in life and that your wise soul is needed in this world. It’s all about your aspirations and expressing yourself and your gifts in September. It’s time to shine, Sag!
The energy is in your 10th house of career and reputation this month, and this is a good time for following through on your goals and knocking off your to-do list. Personal achievements are being made in September, and the light is shining on you right now. With Mercury moving retrograde in your house of intentions, hopes, and dreams for most of the month, your goals may be looking different right now than they did before, and that’s okay. Instead of doing things how you always have, look for new ways to express yourself and be open to new possibilities right now.
Capricorn Horoscope for September 2022
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleLove is flowing through your world this month, Capricorn. Soulmate connections are in your life, and there is so much love around you in September. This is the month to come together with others and allow your heart to experience all the beauty and joy that this life has to offer you. Opposites attract, and that is the energy you are feeling this month. You are seeing that previous conflicts or disagreements don’t have a space in your heart today, and you are tapping into the forgiveness, grace, and commitment that is in your life right now.
With the Sun and Venus in fellow earth sign Virgo for most of the month and moving through your house of adventure and travel, this is a good month to go on an adventure. Take that trip that you’ve been putting off, read that book that’s collecting dust on your shelf, and expand your horizons. The Full Moon in Pisces mid-month is also coming through with all the intuitive guidance you are looking for. This is a month of enlightenment, communicating from the heart, and following your intuition.
Aquarius Horoscope for September 2022
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSeptember is a month of new beginnings for you emotionally, Aquarius. Your heart is opening up to something new, and you are walking through new doors this month. September is your time to be free, live free, and allow yourself to rewrite your story. Remember that this life is yours to live and that you don’t need approval from anyone else to be happy. You deserve this fresh start that this month is bringing into your life.
With Mercury moving retrograde in a spiritual, adventurous, and inspiring area of your chart this month, the clarity may be a little more difficult to attain for the time being. Work with what is presenting itself to you, and know that everything you need to know will be shown to you at the right time. Be patient when it comes to plans and detours, and trust that when you follow your intuition, you will be on the right path. The New Moon happening before the month ends is bringing things full circle in your life and clearing any obstacles that presented themselves to you in September.
Pisces Horoscope for September 2022
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleImportant achievements are being made this month, and you are getting the positive recognition you deserve, Pisces. September is a month of victory for you, and a month to move through confidently. Be your biggest cheerleader this month and allow others to show you their support as well, trusting that it’s coming from a genuine place and that you are deserving of the success that is unfolding for you now. You are moving mountains in September and claiming your blessings.
With a New Moon in your sign mid-month on September 10, you are seeing your intentions manifest into your reality. This New Moon is all about positive recognition, and seeing yourself in the beautiful way you wish others to. Self-love rituals are key this month, and you deserve to be adorned and treated right. With the Sun and Venus also moving through your 7th house of love for most of September, there is a lot of harmony, grace, and love showering down upon you this month, soak it in.
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Mercury enters Aries from April 16 until May 10, and what you were trying to see through or understand better while Mercury was retrograde here last month, you are experiencing a breakthrough now. Mercury in Aries is insightful and courageous, and people are more likely to speak their minds and initiate conversation with this energy. Mars then enters Leo from April 18 until June 17, reminding us that sometimes it’s okay to be a little more selfish and to focus on what you need right now. Mars in Leo brings forth confidence, creativity, and passion, and brings an exciting energy to charge of your life and advocate for yourself.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, bringing some earth sign energy into the mix, grounding and nurturing what you are creating in your life right now. On April 27, we have a New Moon in Taurus, and this is an abundant and fruitful New Moon. This is one of the best New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions for your financial world and a time for seeing new opportunities for abundance. On the last day of the month, Venus moves into Aries until June 6th, and love requires a little more passion, independence, and excitement during this time.
Overall, April is a month of feeling things through, taking more intuitive risks, investing in yourself, and balancing your needs with the needs of your relationships.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
Mercury finally goes direct on April 7 and then enters your sign from April 16 to May 10, and this is going to clear up any miscommunications that you have been through. With Mercury now in your sign, your conversations are lively, your mind is inspiring, and you are thinking one step ahead. Before the month ends, Venus enters your sign from April 30 to June 6, and love is also moving forward for you now. Overall, this is a month where you are experiencing some happy outcomes and loyal support.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
April is a month of passion and purpose, Taurus. You are living in your abundance, and are focused on valuing yourself and the things you are bringing to fruition right now. Venus, your ruling planet, goes direct on March 12 after being retrograde in your financial house since March 1, and you are moving into the month experiencing more opportunities and also feeling more respected in what you are accumulating for yourself and standing your ground on.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, and it’s all about you right now. This Taurus Season is smoothing things out for you in love, with new relationship developments unfolding and life flourishing for you. The New Moon this month is in your sign on April 27, it’s time for a new beginning. You are truly embracing your strength in April, making things happen for yourself, and no longer doubting your future and what is possible for you.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
This month is all about the options becoming available to you now, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month on April 7, you no longer feel as held back or out of place as you may have in the past weeks. With Mercury now direct, your thinking is clearer, and you are seeing the opportunities in your career and professional world that you may have missed before.
The more you can embrace your authenticity, the less time you will spend doubting how others perceive you, remember that this month.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, highlighting the romance in your life and bringing forth understanding and compassion within your close relationships. You are letting go of old attachments or self-doubts that haven’t been serving your love life, and are growing closer to your own heart in the process. Before April comes to an end, Mars enters your 3rd house of communication, and you are overall leaving the month focused on your progress, your vision, and taking up space because you deserve to.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
This month is all about balancing your time and energy wisely, Cancer. You are being reminded not to overwork or overwhelm yourself in April, and to focus on doing the things that are within your control right now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career for most of the month so you are feeling really passionate about the things you are developing in your life right now, but it’s all about finding the right balance between your personal goals and your needs in your relationships as well.
The Full Moon in Libra on April 12 will be a time to devote your energy to self-care, close loved ones, and overall getting some time to decompress. You are ready to let go of the things that don’t make you feel safe or nurtured and are receiving an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon in Taurus at the end of the month is a time to focus on your intentions on your community, friendships, and aspirations in life, and to pay attention to where you can create more abundance here.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
Things are turning around for you for the better, Leo. April is a dynamic month, and you are owning your inner alchemist. With a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on April 12, you are getting the messages you have been looking for and the mental clarity you have found is bringing closure to some of your close relationships. This month is about being flexible and trusting the changes that are happening for you right now.
On April 18, Mars enters your sign until June 17, and this is huge for you. You began the year with Mars retrograde in your sign, so you are getting the opportunity now, to rewrite some of the things that weren’t working for you at the beginning of the year. You are overcoming previous obstacles, and experiencing a breakthrough in your life this month. Before April ends, there is a New Moon in Taurus, highlighting your career, reputation, and professional life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for what goals you want to come to fruition for you now.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
This month is all about building new foundations in your life, Virgo. You are feeling more supported and in tune with your own inner needs and interests, and it’s bringing you closer to people and systems that resonate. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct this month on April 7 after being retrograde for the past few weeks; bringing more clarity, understanding, and compassion to your partnerships in life. You are focused on love this month and are working together with others to make your dreams come true.
Mid-month, Mars moves into your 12th house of closure and endings, and there is a journey of healing that you experience until June 17. You are motivated to understand yourself better and are looking at the past more right now in order to do so. This is a month of recovering and healing from what has been, for new foundations to be built upon. The New Moon on April 27 is a beautiful way to end the month, as you are getting glimpses of a new, abundant, adventure that is ahead of you.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
This is a big month of closure for you, Libra. The Sun is in your 7th house of love for most of April, and your heart is in the right place. With Venus, your ruling planet, going direct on April 12 after being retrograde since March 1, you are finally able to take a breath. You are not experiencing as many obstacles when it comes to communication matters and you are feeling like you have the tools you need to move forward right now.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on April 12, and you are ready to let go of what isn’t working for you. You have been through a lot recently and have gained the clarity you need to let go of old attachments. Venus moves into your house of love before the month ends, and you are leaving the month feeling more in tune with where things are moving forward for you, rather than what you are leaving behind. Your heart moves through a journey in April, and your emotions are showing you a lot.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
April is a month of success, progress, and dreams coming to fruition, Scorpio. You are focused on your health, your priorities, and creating space for the new beginnings that you are creating in your life right now. The Full Moon mid-month is a big closure moment for you, and you are owning the fact that you have healed and you are no longer the same person you were in the past. This is a month of stepping into your power and feeling supported in doing so.
Mid-month, Mars enters your 10th house of career and public life and you are shining within your purpose. Over the next month and a half, you are going to be gaining some new opportunities that will be serving your professional life and goals. This is the month to show up and to let your skills, talents, and authenticity shine. On April 17, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign, Taurus, and you are leaving the month with some pleasant surprises in store for you in love as well.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
April is a new beginning for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on putting the action and effort behind your goals, and you are being proactive within the opportunities that you are looking for right now. With a Full Moon in your 11th house of aspirations mid-month, you are letting go of the way you thought things would play out for you and are owning a more abundant version of things.
On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus, which will be highlighting your health and what your body needs more of right now. This is a New Moon to set your intentions for your everyday life and to create a new, beneficial routine that will make things easier for you at the end of the day. Before the month ends, Venus enters your 9th house of adventure, and you are leaving the month with your sights set high. Travel plans are likely, and this is a good time to create some new plans for yourself.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
April is about putting one step in front of the other with patience and dedication and trusting the decisions you are making for yourself right now, Capricorn. The Sun is in your 4th house for most of the month, and you are yearning for your safe spaces, comfort foods, and loyal people. Giving yourself more time to decompress, take care of yourself, and ground your energy is essential this month.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation mid-month and will be fueling your need for some change, excitement, and emotional rejuvenation over the next month and a half. You are entering an impactful moment of the year for you, and you are motivated toward change right now. The New Moon at the end of the month is in a fellow earth sign, highlighting the romantic new beginnings you are entering now. Overall, this month is a process, and you are opening new doors while finding gratitude in what is here for you now.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
April is about giving yourself time to process, accept, and gain a new perspective, Aquarius. You are being guided towards friendship, connection, and community, and are understanding what may be creating the discord in your life that has been distancing you from that. The Full Moon this month is happening in Libra on April 12, and you are ready to let go of feeling like you have to do it all at once or all alone. This month is a reminder to take your time with all the experiences you want to have, trusting that they will come to fruition for you.
Mars enters your house of love and partnership on April 18, and you enter a passionate and steamy time. Romance is in the air for you as you move through the month, and you are spending more of your time with those who you want to move forward with. Venus also moves into a relationship area of your chart before April ends, and you are surrounded by love and community. Overall, this month is showing you that you are not alone and you don’t have to go through the heavy stuff alone either.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
This is a month where your heart is shining, and you are feeling in tune with the progress you have made in your life and within your relationships, Pisces. You are owning your value, your worth, and the beauty of who you are, and are ready to leave the past behind. With Mercury and Venus both going direct in Pisces this month after being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you are in a better space than you have been, and there are fewer obstacles and miscommunications in your life.
You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
I thought that it was important to address this term for a couple of different reasons. One is for the reason that is mentioned in the origin story of sobergasms that I will address in just a sec. Another is because…people who are in long-term committed relationships? I think it’s pretty safe to say that, unless they both have some sort of substance abuse situation going on, most of them have sex some, if not most of the time, without alcohol (and certainly without drunkenness) being involved. Those who engage in casual/recreational sex, though? Well, I’ve got some stats included in this piece that will show you how much alcohol and copulation go hand in hand in a lot of those instances.
And although some studies say that casual sex (i.e., hook-up culture) isn’t quite as rampant as it was, even just a few years ago, at the same time, let’s not act like it isn’t still happening. Hell, every time we hop on social media, we see evidence (and sometimes fallout) of that. Plus, while many people are out here declaring that they don’t want or need marriage anymore (chile) — do you hear them saying that they feel the same way about sex?Yeah…exactly.
With all of this being said, let’s take a moment to look into what sobergasms are really all about and why, if you are sexually active and are not in anything serious, you should strongly consider having (more of) them.
The Origin Story of Sobergasms Is…
GiphyAight, so here’s the backstory of sobergasms. Last year, right around the holiday season, the sexual wellness brand Lovehoney decided to partner up with an alcohol-free drink company (CleanCo) to create a mocktail (I will share the recipe in just a sec) — you know, a cocktail that doesn’t have any alcohol in it. They did it because their UK (where they are based) research revealed that people tend to drink almost 40 percent more during the holidays (in the US, Americans reportedly drink twice as much as they usually do around that time).
If you add to that the fact that Lovehoney conducted their own study which cited that 64 percent of participants have admitted to having sex while being intoxicated and yet only 20 percent said that they actually enjoyed it.
And that was the main motivation for why Lovehoney came up with sobergasms: it’s a way to encourage people to be more intentional about going without drinking (so much) so that they can engage in the kind of sex that they will actually find to be pleasurable; especially since their findings also discovered that only 29 percent of men and 11 percent of women have consistent orgasms when they are drunk compared to 45 percent of men and 15 percent of women who do when they are sober.
As I thought about all of this, I decided to go on my own fact-finding mission about alcohol and its relationship to sex. It helped me to come up with even more reasons to cosign on sobergasms — and I’m hoping that it will do the same thing for you.
Before I share 10 interesting stats, first, the recipe for the mocktail that Lovehoney and CleanCo came up with:
Sobergasm Clean Drink
25ml fresh lime juice
50ml CleanCo Clean T
1 tbsp fresh orange juice
1 tbsp hot honey
Sea salt, chili flakes, and lime for garnish
You can click here for thorough instructions on how to make it. Over on this side of the pond, we’re pretty big on mocktails ourselves and so, if you'd like to test out some other recipes, check out “10 Spring/Summer Cocktails (& Mocktails) That Your Vagina Will Truly Enjoy” and “Sexy Sips: 8 Fall-Themed Mocktails That Are Aphrodisiacs Too.”
And while you’re pondering which mocktail you would actually like to try first, let’s get into some other reasons why oftentimes “less is best” when it comes to mixing sexual activity with alcohol consumption.
10 Stats to Keep in Mind When It Comes to Mixing Sex with Alcohol
GiphyWhen it comes to how many people partake in alcoholic beverages, Gallup cites that 65 percent of Americans who are over the age of 21 claim to do so. Out of those, the average amount of drinks that they consume on a weekly basis is around four. The preferred drink of choice? Wine (31-35 percent) with liquor being a close second (30 percent). Now factor all of this into your mind as you read the following information about alcohol and its relationship to sex:
1. One study revealed that almost 30 percent of participants were less safe when it came to their sexual decisions due to them having alcohol in their system.
2. About half of the sexual assaults that happen on college campuses involve alcohol whether it’s the perpetrator, the victim, or both.
3. Among college-aged women, when they are having sex while in a relationship, alcohol is involved 20 percent of the time. When it’s casual sex? Alcohol is involved 53 percent of the time (heavy drinking happened a whopping 36 percent of the time).
4. 42 percent of college students binge drink and 400,000 of them have sex without using a condom while consuming alcohol.
5.One study revealed that almost 72 percent of college students regretted their sexual decisions at least once. Out of the ones surveyed, almost 32 percent said that alcohol was involved when they did.
6.Of people aged 18-25, more individuals regretted having sex while having alcohol in their system than they did when it came to weed or ecstasy.
7. Women tend to participate in “non-traditional” sexual acts and masturbate more when they are intoxicated than when they are sober.
8. Although a small amount of alcohol in a woman’s system can arouse them sexually, high amounts will decrease it and can even make it harder for them to become naturally lubricated.
9. Alcohol increases the probability of having more sex partners for women.
10. Alcohol can make it more challenging for women to climax.
When you take all of this in, although I certainly appreciate how Lovehoney has brought to our attention that too much alcohol can make sex less physically pleasurable, as you can see, it can also make coitus more risky, potentially more dangerous and it can cause us to make some pretty unwise decisions, if we’re not careful as well.
And so honestly, this additional intel should further solidify why you should be uber cautious and super careful if you are going to bring alcohol into the picture when it comes to having sex with another person — again, especially if it’s recreational sex. Because even though intercourse, on average, lasts between 3-7 minutes (Google is right there), that small window of time can result in a lifetime of consequences that you may not wish to experience.
Besides, it’s not like sober sex doesn’t have its own benefits…
5 Benefits of Having Sex While You’re Completely Sober
GiphyYou know what’s interesting about the word “sober”? It doesn’t just mean that you aren’t drunk; it also means that you are “rational,” “self-controlled” and “level-headed” — and yes, when you are about to have sex with someone who you aren’t in a serious, long-term or exclusive sexual relationship with, it’s best that you are all of these things. Because while alcohol can initially make you feel like sexual activity will be more fun, sober sex has the following five proven things to offer.
1. You can better trust your decisions. Recently, I watched a video of four women who taped and posted themselves driving drunk. Moments later, all of them were ejected from the vehicle that they were in and only one survived (and she is in critical condition). Imagine if they could go back in time and go without having alcohol in their system before getting in that vehicle. SMDH.
When it comes to today’s topic, no matter what pop culture tries to tell you, any act that can potentially result in you conceiving or contracting something that doesn’t have a cure is serious as all get out. That’s why, especially when it comes to casual sex, you want to make sure that you go into the act as level-headed as possible — and you can only really do that if/when you are sober.
2. You can clearly articulate your needs and expectations. We’ve all seen a movie (or personally know someone) where a woman got tipsy and wanted to do certain sexual things; however, as alcohol began to affect her system even more, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go further or not. When you’re sober, it’s so much easier to articulate what you want/don’t want and what your expectations are. T
hat said, there are so many people who have sex-related regrets and a big part of the reason is because alcohol totally clouded their judgment and sometimes altered their thoughts and words. Definitely something to (always) keep in mind when it comes to consuming alcohol in the presence of others.
3. You’re more present. I also want to make sure that I touch on some of the things that prompted Lovehoney to come up with sobergasms in the first place. As far as the purely pleasurable side of sex goes, ask anyone who has a satisfying situation in their bedroom and I’m willing to bet that one thing that they will advise is to not overthink the experience and to remain in the moment.
When you’re intoxicated, your mind tends to be all over the place. When you’re sober-minded, it’s easier to remain focused.
4. Sex definitely tends to be more pleasurable. I’ve already shared with you that you are wetter and it’s easier for you to climax when you don’t have a lot of alcohol in your system. A part of the reason is that, since your brain is your biggest sex organ, it’s important to keep in mind that alcohol has a way of negatively affecting the communication pathways of your brain; when that happens, it can cause your moods to become erratic and you tend to become less coordinated too.
Not well-lubricated. Not climaxing. In a bad mood. Do those that sound like the keys to an awesome sexual experience? Right…absolutely not.
5. There is a lot less regret. Once you have sex with someone, you can’t take it back. That’s why it’s so important that you go into the act feeling like this is something that you really want to do (the person and the acts included); you significantly decrease the chances of you having this type of certainty when you’re not sober. And sexual regret can sometimes be one of the hardest things to get past.
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Sobergasms. Although there seem to be new terms that come up daily, one that I can definitely get behind is that. Because it encourages everyone to be sober-minded and sexually responsible in order to ultimately have a more fulfilling sexual experience.
And I will certainly raise a mocktail to that.
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