

On a warm Friday evening, a few months before we found ourselves at the departure end of the Murtala Muhammad airport in Lagos, Nigeria, my husband and I finally sat down to figure out where to spend our Christmas holiday. We had put it off for a bit, procrastinating like we always do, but with only a few months left until the holiday season, it was now or never.
We wanted none of the fast-paced life that being in our city, Lagos presented. The year had been incredibly long, so we were choosing to ease into the new year in a slow, languorous way. Cappadocia in Turkey was high on our list, but eventually, we narrowed our options to the African continent. We are both Nigerians and fiercely proud of our African heritage, so we wanted to immerse ourselves in and enjoy more of what the continent had to offer.
Soon enough, we settled for Senegal for the diversity of its offerings: Senegal is home to 7 UNESCO world heritage sites, the tallest statue in Africa, has some of the most beautiful beaches, and is rich in culture and history. Many people visit Senegal solely for Dakar, its capital city. But if you search a little deeper and open your mind a little wider, you will discover that Senegal has more to offer than Dakar.
In our case, we explored two other cities in addition to Dakar, and looking back, I honestly can't imagine experiencing Senegal in any other way.
Saly
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Our first stop was the beautiful beachside resort area of Saly, located in the Thiès region of western Senegal. We were welcomed into Saly by the most gorgeous sunset I had ever seen. It seemed to stretch for miles, following us on our ride to the hotel, dipping in and out as the roads winded as if to let us know that there was even more beauty awaiting us. Saly is a top tourist area in Senegal, and it is immediately clear why when you visit. It has the most gorgeous sunset and beaches, all ingredients for the perfect vacation.
Quick history tidbit: Saly was originally a Portuguese trading post known as Porto de Ale, which became Portudal, and later Sali Portudal.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
As we pulled up to our hotel taking in the last sights of the glorious sunset, the waves in the far-off distance crashed against the beach, and we felt completely at home. Starting our Senegal city hopping with Saly couldn’t have been a more perfect choice.
Although we spent a good chunk of our time in Saly indoors rejuvenating, we eventually ventured out to take a walk and feel the pulse of the city center. Neon lights and signs wishing people a happy holiday told us that this is a city that really values the people that it welcomes.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
We also visited the Reserve de Bandia nature reserve which is about 15 kilometers from Saly and houses a lot of wild animals and over 120 species of birds. We opted for a private park guide instead of the group tours, so we went through the place in good time. Right opposite the reserve is their lion ranch. We found out about this much later, so sadly we didn’t get to see the lions.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Our stay in Saly was truly invigorating, albeit short, so we couldn’t do a lot of things but we made sure to visit the arts and crafts market to find a bit of Saly to take home with us so that our trip here is forever memorialized.
Saint-Louis
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Our next stop after saying goodbye to our beautiful beach house in Saly was the island of Saint-Louis (or Ndar as it is called in the Wolof language), a city of brightly colored buildings, horse-drawn carts, and a charming rustic vibe. Saint-Louis is a good four-hour drive from Saly; not exactly the most scenic drive, but not the worst road trip we have been on either (and we have been on many).
In Saint-Louis, the influence of the colonizers is still visible. Albeit on the cusps of debilitation, the buildings are mainly colonial-style architecture, and as we later learned, have been intentionally preserved that way. (It is against the city rules to alter the building’s original external features.)
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Despite the long road trip to Saint-Louis, we were enamored by the city’s narrow roads, distinctive architecture, and laid-back vibes. Life seemed to move slowly in Saint-Louis, but we had zero complaints about this. It was exactly what we needed.
Quick history tidbit: Saint-Louis was the capital of Senegal from 1673 until 1902 and French West Africa from 1895 until 1902, when the capital was moved to Dakar. From 1920 to 1957, it also served as the capital of the neighboring colony of Mauritania which shares a border. The island of Saint-Louis is also a UNESCO world heritage site.
One thing we immediately noticed in Saint-Louis is the sheer number of people milling around in the streets, ready to approach you to make a case for whatever service or products they offer. And so it happened that on our arrival to Saint-Louis, whilst still trying to move our luggage from the trunk to the foyer of our hotel, we managed to make acquaintance with a convenience store owner and secure a date with an English-speaking tour guide for the next day.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
On our first day, we did a short walking tour of the city to find somewhere to grab lunch, but ended up learning about a concept called “slow food.” In Saint Louis, a good chunk of the restaurants there practice “slow food,” a concept hinged on a quality over quantity disposition, where meals are prepared lovingly with fresh produce and with a slower approach to cooking. Consequently, these restaurants open much later in the day. It was interesting to see a shift from fast food consumerism, but my stomach didn’t appreciate the late opening times.
Because Senegal borders the Atlantic Ocean, fish is a key part of their cuisine. Three beloved dishes in Senegal are Thiéboudienne (Senegalese jollof rice), Yassa, and Mafe. Whatever you do, make sure you don't leave Senegal without trying Thieboudienne, Bissap (Hibiscus juice), and Bouye juice (juice from the Baobab tree).
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
The next day, we had a simple breakfast and headed out with the tour guide for a horse-driven half-day tour of the island. He took us through the city and showed us the different facets of the island, pointing out the landmarks and noteworthy sights such as the Governor’s Palace, the cathedral and grand mosque, and the fishing village. It was particularly sad to see the effect of climate change and the subsequent decay in some parts of the city, especially in the fishing village.
We also visited the art studio of Meissa and Bassirou Fall. Our tour guide pointed it out during the tour as a must-see, so we visited the next day and it was truly magical. Meissa and Bassirou Fall are a father-son duo who make unique art sculptures from discarded bicycle and motorcycle parts.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Some say that a visit to Saint-Louis is not complete without visiting the Djoudj National Bird Sanctuary (a day trip) and the Langue de Barbarie (a half-day trip) but we opted out as we didn’t want to pack too many activities into our vacation.
At night, we’d walk to the Faidherbe Bridge and marvel at how beautiful it looks when lit up. The Faidherbe Bridge is a road bridge over the Senegal River that links the island of the city of Saint-Louis in Senegal to the African mainland. You’ll cross it when driving into Saint-Louis but it is definitely worth a visit at night when it gets lit up.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Dakar
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Ah, Dakar! Dakar was a love-hate experience for us. It reminded me a lot of my city in Nigeria: Lagos. They both have the same chaotic energy and buzz in the air, with little glimpses of magical moments that make you think it’s really not so bad after all. Leaving Dakar for last was an intentional decision because it was going to be the place with the most activity for us. We had a list of places we wanted to see but eventually only managed to do two out of the four places. There are only so many activities you can fit into a trip when you have just three days to spend.
Quick history tidbit: In 1902, Dakar replaced Saint-Louis as the capital of French West Africa. From 1959 to 1960, Dakar was the capital of the short-lived Mali Federation. In 1960, it became the capital of the independent Republic of Senegal.
On the top of our list was the Monument de la Renaissance (The African Renaissance Monument), the tallest statue in Africa which was erected to mark Senegal’s 50 years of independence. After surviving the many steps that led to the front door of the statue (think of it as a mini hike), we paid an entrance fee and were ushered in.
Inside told a story of Senegal, the African slave trade, and its journey to freedom/independence. We also got to see some unique artworks and crafts owned by the then-president of Senegal, Abdoulaye Wade. Afterward, we took an elevator to the top of the statue for a bird's-eye view of the city.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
The next day, we set off to visit the highly acclaimed Goree Island (Île de Gorée in French). Goree is a beautiful and picturesque island with a not-so-beautiful past. It was the site of one of the most important slave trade ports in West Africa where millions of enslaved Africans were taken through to never return again. Now, it is a UNESCO World Heritage site and houses a community of about 1800 permanent residents.
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
Goree attracts over 500,000 tourists yearly who visit for its history or solely to enjoy its visual aesthetics. But one thing is for sure, Goree Island is definitely a key part of anyone’s travels through Senegal so it felt fitting to end our time there with it. The next day, we packed our bags and said our goodbyes.
It was time to return back home.
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Featured image by Cassie Daves and Mark Unuakhalu
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images